The Mad Rat’s Lab

“Aaaa, uuum… what to do…” I sit upside down on my comfy chair, trying to decide what to do next.

What means I’m sitting upside down? It’s easy, you put your legs on the part where the head should be, and the head where the legs go. Something that would hurt like hell in real life but in the game is just mildly annoying, with the upside-down view and all that.

I want to start with the next dungeon area, but at the same time, I don’t feel like doing it. It’s so much effort to go hunting for each and every monster I need…

This is, by far, the worst part of this faction.

“Aaaagh… I don’t wanna go! I just want to create the monsters, not collect the bodies!”

For now, I open the dungeon menu and fiddle with it to see what bodies I have in my stasis capsules. Let’s hope there’s something useful.

“Let’s see, let’s see… I have a unit called Remraf… Remraf? It’s the first time I’ve read this name, where the hell did it come from?”

When I select it, the dungeon menu shows me its statistics, as well as the 3D model of that unit. There’s an upside-down human.

“Ah, I get it. It’s a Farmer, written in reverse.” I took into account that the letters are upside-down, but I forgot they’re written from right to left too. “Fucking humans, I hate them so much. At least don’t give me false hopes!”

For a moment I thought I had an interesting catch, but it turned out it was a Farmer, who not only happens to be a human but it’s also the weakest of the useless garbage.

Then, I start to scroll down the list, carefully checking each unit so that I don’t commit more mistakes. Doing so, I realize an incredible, astonishing, and painful truth. It’s the apocalypse! The end of the world!

“...why are half my stasis capsules filled with humans again?” I despair. “What did I do to you, god, that you forsake me like this? Why do you bring me so much pain?”

I must find a way to end this plague…

But that’s a problem for the future me. Future me, good luck! Hahaha!

So, since I don’t want to go capture monsters right now, there’s only one thing I can do. It’s procrastination time! As everybody knows, the best way to finish the current task is to do something else until you find the drive to work on it.

You say I’m wrong? Nah, it can’t be.

It just so happens there’s something I’ve been planning and postponing since a long time ago. An idea that came up after I created the first Lab Assistant, a very long, long time ago. Then, I completely forgot about it, until… until I went to a Wild Feral dungeon the other day and found a Werecat – which I captured, by the way.

Let me ask you a question: what are the two things every mad scientist must have?

The first is, obviously, some kind of lackey or assistant to do all the jobs he doesn’t want to do. Like standing still for a long time, waiting for the time to create a monster to finish.

I’m sure you know who I’m talking about right now.

As for the other one, it’s a need created after watching disgusting stuff all the time. Like the Stitched, the weird abominations, the gory bits and pieces, the Stitched, or the disfigured monsters made of parts of other units. Also… did I mention the Stitched?

To cleanse the sight from all that horrible stuff, I require something beautiful. Something that alleviates my weary eyes from the vile units I create. Something to restore my sanity and even give it a boost.

“Hmm, hmm.” I nod. “Yep, you’re right. I’m talking about a sexy secretary.”

It couldn’t be any other way, the sexy secretary must use two of the most common troupes: a succubus, and an animal-eared woman like the werecat.

You’re right. Werecats don’t really fit the animal-eared theme. They have a full cat’s head, not only the ears. They also have a furry body, claws, and cat-like legs, making them more cat than human while maintaining a humanoid body shape.

But, did you forget? I can use parts of the units, there’s no need for me to use the whole body! I can keep the cat parts to the minimum, leaving only the cat ears and tail.

How was it called… nekomimi, was it…? Well, regardless of what is it called, it’s a common trope, and I’m going to use a succubus as the base, so it’s doubly good!

“Ah, look at the time! I should stop wasting time and do something productive already.”

I fiddle with the dungeon menu and create a new Template, choose the Hybrid unit, and select the single Succubus and Werecat units I have captured. Since it's kind of a joke unit, I don’t want to spend too much resources on this one. Also, it was supposed to be added to the dungeon a long time ago when I didn’t have access to more advanced units, so I’m fine with it being weak.

This time I start with the unit’s looks, as I’ve already decided upon it beforehand.

Using the succubus as the base means that my sexy secretary will have a great figure and horns on her head. I don’t want the horns to get too much attention, so I make them small and pointy, slightly bigger than a thumb. I then remove the ears and replace them with the werecat’s. Finally, I add the tail, long and thin. Both cat parts have pitch-black fur, which means that when it uses the Cat Transformation skill, it’ll turn into a black cat.

Oh, and her pupils have a pink color. Players can change their color if they wish to, but by default, succubus have pink eyes.

Now comes the difficult part.

“What skills can I give it so that my joke isn’t a complete waste of resources and cp?”

She’ll heal my eyes from all the horrible stuff, so… healing and support skills? It’ll have the Charming Eyes innate skill, they will synergize quite well. Yes, let’s go with that.

The first skill that comes to mind is Revitalize. Why? It’s because it’s the healing spell Laura, who just happens to play as a succubus too, uses.

Heals over time are more powerful than instant heals because, by the time the healing works, it’s possible it’s too late and the target is dead. But I think it’s fine. I don’t really expect my sexy secretary to be of any use in a fight. In fact, I plan to make her avoid combat if possible, so a heal over time is good enough.

And, obviously, it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact I don’t want to search for another skill… Obviously. I repeat it to make sure you understand.

Stop looking at me like that! I swear, it’s the truth. I’m not lying!

“Resurrection would be nice too… But it won’t have enough MP to use it, so I better don’t give it to her. As for other skills… It’d be fun to give her Too Gross to Look At, but it wouldn’t make any sense...”

After all, I think she’s the first humanoid I’ve created that isn’t disgusting or disfigured in some way. The Good Followers might be the closest ones to normal, but regardless of how you edit them, a mix of orc and dwarf can never be handsome. Believe me, I tried it out of curiosity, and it didn’t work. It turned out to be creepier than I thought could be possible.

“Maybe Presence Detection? This way she can avoid enemies quite well… Argh, I can’t come up with any good ideas!”

Do you know what happens when you focus too much on the looks but don’t care about anything else? This is what happens! That you don’t know how to make it work! I was so focused on the sexy secretary that heals my heart, that I forgot to plan what said secretary is supposed to do.

Use the Presence Detection as an example: a skill used for aggressive monsters, so that players can’t avoid them. I was thinking of using it defensively so that she would avoid combat. Why am I thinking of keeping her alive instead of being useful? It’s a monster in a game, for god’s sake!

“Wait a moment…!” My inner monologue gave me a crazy idea. “Yes, this is it! Why should I make her run away, when I can make her harass the invaders? Fufufu! Hahaha!”

I love the idea of a sexy secretary assailing my enemies, forcing them into dangerous situations while assisting the monsters inside my dungeon! Even if she is weak, it won’t matter, because Charming Eyes is overpowered.

“My little, black cat assassin-support. A sensual woman wearing tight black le– Khm! Let’s stop the delusions.” I refocus on the task at hand and open the skill list. “If I give her this skill and that one, then increase her MP with MP Boost and…”

I chuckle to myself, selecting the perfect kit for her to annoy the hell out of any invader who happens to encounter her.

“...this is going to be so much fun! Hahaha!”

Now that I take a proper look at her stats, she isn’t as weak as I thought she’d be.

Compared to the crazy monsters that use three other units, she’s weak, but compared to the other hybrids, she isn’t. Her base stats are about double those of my Good Followers!

But enough about this, let’s go the the relevant bits.

You see… cats are small and quite agile. If they’re black, they can be pretty hard to spot, too. This means that, in her cat form, the Sexy Secretary will be able to stealthily move around undetected, stalking the invaders. Then, she can transform and use Charming Eyes at the worst moment. The worst moment means right before a powerful skill or trap hits the players.

“Do you know what’s worse than having a monster that’s about to explode right next to you? The same, but when you are incapable of moving.”

I change her AI so that she doesn’t use Charming Eyes for more than one or two seconds, to save as much MP as possible. My objective isn’t to render other players incapable of defending themselves but to make them fail at the worst moment.

You’re about to pop your defensive skill before the blow? Guess what? Not anymore…! Hahaha!

Can you imagine it? Right before the Tunnel Mimic eats you, you’re about to jump out of its mouth, but your legs don’t work. Or even better, when the Minitaur Queen charges at you while you have a water canal behind you. You try to dodge to the side, but you can’t.

“Aaah, I tremble in excitement! I’m sure she’ll cause so many deaths!”

Then there’s the Fast Recovery skill so she heals and recovers her MP faster while out of combat. This will allow her to run away and re-engage the invaders at full strength. With the Presence Detection, it’ll be hard for her to lose track of her prey.

And last but not least, the upgraded MP Boost skill. This isn’t required, but it’ll give her a lot more MP to work with, as well a larger pool to refill with Fast Recovery.

Ah, I almost forgot about the most important skill, Invisibility!

Invisibility is the most important because, thanks to it, she’ll be able to stay hidden in plain sight. You could say this is the inferior version of the Trickster skill that fairies get, but unlike that one, Invisibility doesn’t have a maximum time duration, so it is better in certain situations.

Furthermore, while invisible, she can turn into a cat. It’s hard to find someone when that someone has transformed into a cat.

The last step is setting up her AI. As I already mentioned, I make her hide from the enemies, chasing after them while remaining hidden. Like a shadow. She’ll then use Revitalize to heal my monsters during combat while staying hidden, or Charming Eyes at the worst possible moment – worst for the invaders, of course.

If she gets spotted and the players attack her, she’ll then use any means necessary to run away before coming back, ready to take revenge!

“Fufufu! Hahaha! And with this, I have finished everything I had to do today!”

No, wait a moment… I could swear there was something else… What was it… Ah, yes! The new dungeon area! Shit. I have to go capture lots of monsters, but I don’t want to.

Maybe I can use someone’s help… 

The last time I asked Ricard, I had to go to a human dungeon, so he’s out of the question. I don’t know why, but I have a bad feeling about asking Laura. This leaves me with my sister. I’m sure she’ll immediately agree.

Let’s make her do all the hard work while I limit myself to capture the units I like.

Yeah! Sounds like a great plan! As always, Mad Rat takes the win! Fufufu! Hahaha!

 

My sister forbid me from having a Sexy Secretary in cat form resting on the armrest of my usual comfy chair, saying it’d give me weird ideas. I’m not sure what kind of ideas she was talking about… How can a sexy succubus with cat ears and tail give me weird ideas?