The Mad Rat’s Lab

The rumbling sound gets closer as I stick my body to the wall. The hard protrusions prick my skin and make it uncomfortable, but I can only press my body closer and closer as if wanting to become one with the wall.

I don’t know why, but my instinct tells me that if I don’t, I’ll die.

This thundering reminds me of the film I saw yesterday, where an elephant stampede crushed a whole village. Is this a stampede? If so, why is a stampede happening inside a tunnel? It makes no sense. Nothing in this dungeon makes sense.

After a while of waiting anxiously, from the end of the corridor, I see movement. It’s a horde of monsters. With their disjointed footsteps, they advance at an incredibly high speed. It’s hard to see because there’s not much light, but although they’re all humanoid, all of them have different shapes and sizes.

What are those creatures? Why is there no end to their numbers?

I send a glance at Muribelle, trembling next to me while taking cover behind the largest rock she could find. I don’t have the confidence we can deal with all of them.

The creatures come from the right, running in our direction. I thought the best option was to hide, but it turns out there are so many of them that they fill the tunnel. We should have run away instead.

I’m tempted to do it now, to run away, hoping to outrun them. But luckily, before I take the first step, they leave through another passage on the left.

“Thank god they aren’t coming here…”

“Sshht!”

Muribelle signals for me to shut up. I don’t think they’ll hear us with the noise they’re creating when running; but she’s right, it’s best to not test our luck.

It’s the first time I’ve been using the Danger Detection skill. At first, I ignored the warnings it gave me because the sound produced by the monster horde was too far away. But when I told Muribelle, she asked me to hide and wait. If we didn’t, we would have met the horde head-on.

 I’ve never been as happy with any skill as I am right now. Danger Detection has been the most useful skill since we entered this dungeon. Most players consider this a dead skill because it doesn’t tell you the direction, distance, or type of danger.

They’re wrong. As with any Champion-exclusive, there’s a reason for it to exist, and I found it today.

This skill warned me when the giant turtles were coming at us from all sides so we could run away.

It warned me when we found that nightmarish wolf, though it was too late by then and our party ended up scattered as a result. Thank god I met Muribelle not long after that. I’m the support Champion and can’t properly fight on my own.

It warned me of the monster horde, as I’ve already mentioned.

In fact, since a long time ago, it has been giving me a constant warning. Since then, my HP has been depleting continuously, though I don’t know why. When I checked the battle log, it was filled with ‘Your HP has been reduced by 2’ messages.

I’m the only one affected for now. I would have died when we split up if I couldn’t heal myself. It’s good I’m the one affected and not someone else.

The thundering footsteps continue for a while. Is there no end to the monster horde? Just when I think so, the last of the monsters disappear from our sight, leaving this place through the left tunnel. At the same time, my Danger Detection skill stops the intense buzzing, returning to the continuous low-intensity warning.

I leave my hiding place, if you can call sticking to the wall a hiding place, and look at my companion. “Thank god they didn’t see us…”

“Sshht!”

“Oh, come on. They went away, there’s no need to–”

“Sshhh!”

“Sigh! Fine…” I shake my head at her insistence. I understand her cautiousness because the last time we lowered our guard in this dungeon we were forcefully split up, but this is too much.

Muribelle stays hidden behind the rock for ten more seconds until she finally stands up. I’ll never get used to this weird sight. She’s a young girl with a translucent red body. It’s as if somebody sculpted a human out of red gelly, and then gave it life. She has defined facial features and intricate hair strands, which you’d think impossible from something made out of a gelatinous substance. But it’s fine because this is fantasy.

Though I’m not one to talk, as my champion is weirder than hers. Tiny green scales cover my whole body, similar to those of a lizard. Long tail, zygodactylous feet and hands, and big, bulging eyes. The Werechamaleon is one of the weirdest Champions out there.

The Werechamaleon is one of the Wild Ferals units that can’t turn into an animal. Instead, it has the Optic Camouflage skill, which is why I only needed to stick to the wall to hide. However, it isn’t an infallible trick. When the monsters filled the whole tunnel, leaving no gap, they would have surely bumped into me, detecting my presence. They would have swarmed me without any doubt.

Even taking into account the useful skill and the fact we can climb walls and stick to the ceiling, the character’s appearance is so weird most players avoid using Werechamaleon as a Champion unless they have no other choice. They find them disgusting.

Muribelle walks to the tunnel the monster horde used and cautiously peeks inside. She releases her breath, relieved. “They went away.”

“I know.” I smile at her. “My Danger Detection skill stopped warning me some time ago.”

She frowns. “That skill… You’ve been boasting about it since those turtles. But I still think it’s a waste of a skill point.”

“Okay.” I shrug my shoulders. I’ve tried to explain to her, but she won’t understand. It’s a waste of time to keep trying. “So… what do we do next?”

“We run in the opposite direction of that monster horde, of course!” She proudly declares. “We can’t risk dying a worthless death!”

I raise one eyebrow, grinning. “Run…? You, running?”

Her gelatinous body trembles in a mix of rage and shame when she realizes what I’m implying. “S-shut up! You know what I meant, don’t laugh at me.”

“Hahaha, sorry. It’s funny when you’re the one to say it. You always avoid the topic–”

“I said shut uuuuup!” She punches me.

When her fist hits my body, there’s a sizzling sound, followed by an itchy feeling. If this wasn’t a game, it would hurt like hell. It’s the effect of Scorching Body, the Fire Slime’s innate skill.

“Ouch! Are you trying to kill me?” I check my status to make sure I’m not in danger.

“A-ah, right! A-are you…” She hesitates. She knows my HP has been falling constantly since a long time ago. “...I’m sorry. How’re you doing? Are you fine?”

“Well… I’m not sure…” I scratch my head. “I’m starting to run out of MP to heal myself…”

She makes a worried face. “Can I help you somehow?”

“Oh, yes, you can.” I nod. She gets closer and pays attention to what I’m saying. “If you stop hitting me, I’ll be fine! Hahaha!”

She menacingly raises her fist. “So you’re saying it’s my fault now? Do you need another taste?”

I watch her fist come closer in a panic. I was joking, but not at the same time. If she hits me a few more times, I might end up dying!

I decide to run away from her. “N-no, I was joking! Joking!” After widening the distance between us, I stop, turn around, and watch her slowly come closer to me. “Not like you’re ever going to catch me… Hahaha!”

“Come back here and I’ll show you how I treat jerks like you!”

With her abysmally low Speed, she can’t hope to catch anyone. This is the problem with slimes: they don’t have limbs, so they have to crawl at a slow speed. Even if they’re turned into Champions with a humanoid shape, they keep their original Speed. When Muribelle runs, she moves at half my walking speed.

“You’ll eventually lower your guard, and then I’ll get you!”

“Not happening! Hahaha!”

 

---

 

Muribelle steps into a narrow tunnel when my Danger Detection skill warns me of danger.

“Stop, it’s dangerous!”

“W-whaaa…?” Surprised, she exclaims when I grab her waist and pull her back. She struggles to get free, wildly swinging her feet and arms around. “Release me! Don’t you understand I might kill you if you touch me?”

“My skill warned me so I–”

“Again with your skill? Can’t you see there’s nothing…” Her voice fades away when the mouth of the tunnel closes, transforming into a giant worm. “... thanks, Succo.”

Her whole body trembles in disgust. But then she realizes I’m touching her and twists around, trying to get away from me. I wasn’t ready for her sudden action. My foot slips and we fall to the ground, one on top of the other.

She stays there, not moving at all while observing my face from close up.

The sizzling sound of my burning skin fills my ears. The weird thing is that, even though I’m dying, the constant buzz that I’ve been hearing since long ago has stopped. It makes no sense.

I groan. “Okay… I know it was me who grabbed you, but, do you mind it? I’m going to die at this rate.”

“Ah, sure, yes. I-I’m sorry.” She quickly moves away. “Succo, your HP!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine…” I wave my hand. “Heal! See? It’s fine now.”

My HP took a real hit just now. Scorching Body is a really scary skill, even for their allies. “Huh? Wait a moment…” I check it two more times, to make sure. “Look at this, Muribelle! I’m not taking constant damage!”

“Of course you aren’t. I’m not touching you anymore.” She shakes her head, looking at me as if I were crazy.

“I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about those ‘Your HP has been reduced by 2’ messages.”

She opens her eyes wide and starts looking around. Is she searching for a clue? I observe her slow movements as she inspects the surrounding area.

“Was this here before? Do you think this is the cause?” She says, pointing at a dead butterfly, resting where she fell on top of me.

“Let’s see…” I inspect the butterfly to make sure. “A butterfly with Optic Camouflage!? And it deals damage upon contact…”

I understand now. The camouflaging Werechameleon (me) had a camouflaged enemy sticking to him the whole time.

How ironic.

“I knew it wasn’t a game bug! You didn’t listen to me, because I was the single one affected, but I knew it was a trap or monster! It died as soon as it touched you, this is why you didn’t get it.”

“Then what about BigHat and Odomiru? They didn’t get one of those either.”

“BigHat has an aura skill, and your AoE attacks constantly hit Odomiru.”

“Ah, you’re right! Poor Odomiru, hehehe…”

She takes this as a joke, but Odomiru doesn’t think the same. He doesn’t find it funny at all. If she didn’t hit him so many times, our dungeon invasions would be a lot easier.

My train of thought gets interrupted by the sound of steps. This time it’s a single entity. We exchange a nod and get ready for combat.

Soon, the entity shows itself. It’s a red blob, with a vaguely humanoid shape. It stops when it sees us, blocking the way forward. Panicked, it stops, spits at Muribelle, and runs away in the same direction it came from.

“Hey, Muribelle. I didn’t know you had a brother.” I say, grinning.

“Don’t compare me to that stupid red blob!” She angrily swipes the spit away. “Catch it! I’ll teach it to pay respect to its kind!”

“Alright.” I shrug and shoot off after the red monster.

Left behind due to her slow speed, Muribelle shouts. “Succoooooo! Wait for meeeeee! Fuck! How can a slime run so fast!?”

She’s right. How can this be possible? How can a slime be faster than me?

“Are you sure you and your brother are of the same species?”

“Shut up! That’s not my brother!”

“Choose your allies wisely. Depending on how they act, they can deal more damage to your party than the most fearsome of enemies.”

- Basic knowledge every DMA player should learn before it’s too late.