Leftover Apocalypse

"No it's like..." of course there wasn't a word for it. "It's a fruit, very sweet but also very acidic."

Errod continued to idly dig through his bag to disguise the fact that he was really watching for Milanata Hurst to leave her workshop. "And it goes well with the sauce and cheese?"

"Well that's the debate," I said, swirling a hand in the fountain, "I like it with ham. Oh that translated, good. If you have ham you have bacon."

"Of course we have bacon. If we find the right ingredients can you make me pizza?"

"Maybe. I always bought it from somewhere. And 'tomato' isn't translating, so I'm not hopeful for the sauce. Okay, your turn."

Katrin wandered by, making her seventh loop around the block, and flashed a thumbs-up. Still no guards or anything. There were a lot of guards in Theramas, and they looked like they took their jobs seriously.

Errod got a wistful look on his face. "Well speaking of sauces… a merchant came from a city on the ocean when we were little, and they had this amazing stuff. It's just like... fish and salt and some spices and you put it in a barrel for three months until the fish turns into goo, and you strain out the bones and things. And it's so good. We bought like four bottles of it, and when we were down to the last one we made it last for like a year."

"That sounds absolutely vile." I felt sure we didn't do anything like that on Earth.

Theramas was gorgeous. The buildings weren't anything too impressive - mostly two or three stories, they were all very square and made from some kind of pale green stone. But the wide streets all had these willowy trees with leaves that were shiny on one side so that even a gentle breeze would set them sparkling, and the alleyways were clean and hung with colorful flags - I'd assumed there was some kind of festival, but it seemed the flags were just a normal part of the city's decorations. There was no rhyme or reason to the shape, size, or color of the flags as far as I could tell; there had been one little side street that had a hundred tiny square blue flags of various shades, and another that had a few large triangular flags of jarring reds and greens.

There were public fountains where I saw people just hanging out doing laundry, and a huge marketplace of tents every bit as colorful as the flags. There was also one square that had a colossal orrery with one huge jagged rocky chunk in the center and thirty-six colorful rings orbiting it at artistic angles. Katrin had said it was showing the alignment of the planes - apparently depending on the day some varying number of planes were in alignment with the world and with each other, each having its own cycle.

The smallest ring was for the regular world where we already were and acted as a clock, and then the next plane was aligned every second day. The slowest was aligned in whatever metaphysical way once every one thousand two hundred eighty-three and one-third years - and that was the local year that took four hundred and thirty-two days. That had only happened a few times in recorded history, of course, but one was coming up in a few years and was apparently what made this count as the "Grand Alignment" Hugh had mentioned. Only two planes wouldn't be lined up.

I hadn't bothered trying to get too much more information about the planes out of Katrin, but it was on my to-do list for if we ever got to a library or something. For now we were low on funds, having spent what little Hugh left us with the moskar to stable them. We could sell them, but that would trap us in the city and I wasn't sure yet if I wanted that. Instead the plan was to try and follow a hunch I had, and then make my decision based on where that did or didn't lead.

The fort I was supposed to be heading to was up on a hill just as the letter promised, though I couldn't see much more than the walls and one tower sticking up. There were other hills, however, and so after getting past the guards at the gate - makeup smeared on my face to darken it and my hair tucked away just in case they had a drawing of me or something - the first thing I had done was ask if one was called "monster's hill". It was. Fucking bingo.

I'd noticed it right away when I read the letter, but it was hard to be sure if I was right. The last paragraph had started with "I know right now only half of this at best makes sense" and while I thought it might not be anything it certainly seemed possible that reading every second line was providing me with alternate instructions:

"I know right now only half of this at best makes sense. Sorry. Just stick with Hugh for now and don't mention Earth. If you get a chance later to sneak off and explore, watch out for monsters hill in Theramas. Once you're there and safe we can find someone to make a statue of you or at least set you up with a place to live. I can't say more here but it's all going to be great. Trust Hugh. But not too much. Keep the bracelet on; removing it will mean that Hugh and the other people he's working with will find you quickly. Hang in there. This is going to be awesome, I can't wait to see you."

Monster's Hill being a real thing virtually guaranteed I was right, as those two words had been on different lines. More specifically it was the name of a street that ran up one of the hills, and ten minutes of after finding it we'd ended up at a little square with a fountain. One of the shops was a studio for a sculptor named Milanata Hurst, and statues were on display out front. In the window there was a sign advertising a room for rent. It couldn't be a coincidence.

Errod was of the opinion that since the message had been hidden there was no need for another layer of security and I should just go in and ask Hurst what was going on, breaking and entering being against his poorly-defined code of knightly morals. Katrin sided with me, however, once I pointed out that just because there was a secret message that didn't mean these guys were better. Hell, it was possible Lord Protector Hammersmith was fantastic and Hurst was a serial killer who slipped a secret message in so she could get a chance to kill me before I could get to the safety of the fort.

So we waited, and talked about favorite foods, and eventually Milanata left her workshop. She was a pleasant-looking woman, some gray snaking through her black curls and dried bits of clay or something speckled over her clothes. She was smiling to herself and humming, and turned around three times before finally getting on her way - once to take off her apron, once to retrieve a bag, and once to close and lock the door.

The lock didn't worry me at all, since I'd already gotten a look at the locks in this world. I was pretty sure I could pick any of them within seconds if I had had lock picks, and without the proper tools it would still be a matter of minutes. I'd whittled down some sticks while we traveled, and absurd as it seemed I was sure that was all I would need. We waited another moment to make sure she wasn't coming right back, and then I walked to the door and took a closer look. There was no lock. "Oh are you kidding me? Come on."

Or maybe there was a lock, but I couldn't figure it out. The door looked like it opened outwards, but the stone of the doorway blocked it in one spot. It didn't look like that stone could slide or anything though. There were windows, but going that way would be too obvious to anyone walking by. Instead... well, there's a reason doors normally open inward. Working as quickly as I could to loosen them, I popped the hinge pins and swung the door open the wrong way - it almost fell down, but I was able to slip through and push it back into place.

There were pots, and vases, and even some statues along the back wall. I had assumed that she would just focus on one thing, mass produce them or something, but as I looked around I saw examples of virtually everything. Even the simplest of the pots was somehow just... pleasing to look at. Something about the way it curved, and the little lip around the top. It was the kind of thing that looks plain but also looks like something you'd see in a rich person's house. And the statues...

As I approached, I thought I was seeing things. They were hyper-realistic, with clothing that seemed to hang there like real fabric and bodies so perfectly formed I thought I could see muscles under the skin. And one of them was of me, or some idealized version of me anyway. I had this smirk on my face, and a wicked-looking dagger in my hand, and for whatever reason a flower in the other. I was wearing my jeans from Earth, but my shirt was some strange style I'd never seen and I was wearing ridiculously cool boots. I vowed immediately to find those boots in real life.

I wasn't sure what to make of it. Had she been magically spying on me? Was it some sort of voodoo doll? Was I some kind of hero of prophesy? I didn't know enough about magic yet, it seemed possible that there were a million explanations - dreams, remote viewing, some intuition-based thing, looking into the future. It could be anything. With great effort I pulled my eyes away and started searching through the workshop. I was hoping for paperwork, or a secret chest with a book labeled 'Master Plan'.

I found receipts for stone, and a shopping list, and when I finally located a book hidden away under some plates it was a romance novel. I was sure there had to be something else, and that's when I realized there would need to be a whole other workshop somewhere. I wasn't totally clear on what you used to make pots and sculptures and all the other things around the room, but I wasn't finding any tools. There was a lot of stone, some clay, and finished products, but no... pottery wheel or kiln or chisels. Was this a storage room rather than an actual workshop?

Before I had a chance to figure it out, I heard Errod screaming in pain outside. It was a little over the top, but bad acting was probably safer than being too subtle in cases like this. I headed for the back window, and found that contrary to my assumptions there was no latch. It couldn't open, even from the inside. I went to the next window, and the next. They were all the same. If Errod was already making a fuss, the front door would be in plain view of whoever he was distracting - and I didn't want to run past because I couldn't trust Errod to keep up and it would be too obvious we were together. I watched the door, trying to decide if it was better to just hope the danger passed, or hide, or risk busting out a window. And then I heard a noise, and turned to see Milanata Hurst standing behind me despite the door never opening.

She didn’t even seem to notice me at first, just putting down her bag and scratching at an itch. When she finally realized I was standing there she jumped straight up in the air. "Callie! You terrified me! What are you doing here? I thought you were locked in a room with the Lord Protector making secret plans and things."

It wasn't surprising she recognized me, I'd already seen the statue. So, she assumed I'd gone to Hammersmith already. But what kind of plans would I be making? "No, I'm out getting lunch." the excuse sounded incredibly weak to me, but Milanata just nodded.

"Well, it's nice to see you. Oh, did you come for the letter? Callie, I'm sorry, I forget what I'm supposed to ask before I give it to you. I'm terrible. I don't know why anyone would trust me with this kind of thing."

It sounded like there was supposed to be another verification question, like when Hugh asked me about the name of my dog. "It's fine, you can just give it to me."

"You want it now?"

"Yes please."

She walked over to the statue of me, and casually pulled the chest open. It had been a finished, stone statue but suddenly the area around where she had touched it looked wet and soft. Digging around for a moment, she pulled out a scroll sealed with wax and handed it to me before turning back and sealing up the statue, leaving it totally unmarred and solid once more. That would explain the lack of tools, at least.

"Perfect, thank you."

"No problem, dear. Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure, some water would be lovely."

As soon as she walked away I tore the scroll open and unrolled it. It was written in English, other than the first line which said "Hammersmith: Milanata doesn't know shit, leave her alone." Huh. The rest was clearly for me.

"Good job reading the letter right. I was under some pressure writing it and it was the best I could do. I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to get this letter in place before you got here, so you very well might have arrived at Mila's shop and not know why. We're flying by the seat of our pants here.

If all goes well, I will be eating lunch at the Cheese Cave most days in the private dining room. Meet me there at first bell (that's an hour after noon, not sure what you've figured out yet). I'm still not able to put much in writing but I can tell you in person.

If things have gone very wrong and you think I can't get to you, there's a bag of money and some supplies hidden inside a fake rock I had Mila make. Go out the North gate, walk like a mile down the road until you see a dead tree. It's ten paces East of that, you should be able to tell which one it is so just smash it open. If there hasn't been an emergency and you're thinking of just grabbing the money and running, remember that if you actually don't trust me it could be that rock is filled with poison gas or something. So either you don't trust me and you should leave it alone, or you do trust me and you should just come see me.

Mila doesn't really know what's going on, so you won't be able to learn anything from her. That being said, if you're going to stay in Theramas she's a great landlord and will probably give you a good deal. I don't think they'll be looking for you too hard, just leave the bracelet on because it has an anti-scrying enchantment that will work if the two of us are close enough to each other.

Come see me. You'll get to have a cool adventure to find a lost treasure vault and we'll get rich and powerful without having to do what the Empire or anyone else says. It's going to be awesome, unless you're reading this more than six months after you arrived in which case that expedition might have already left.

--Me."

I rolled the scroll back up and tucked it away just as Milanata returned with water. "Thanks," I said. "Was there anything else other than the letter?"

She looked at me like I was crazy. "No, dear. That was it. Is that alright? Did I do okay?"

"I... yeah. Yeah, you did great." She seemed uncertain, and I decided that the letter was probably telling the truth when it said she didn't know what was going on. I told her to have a great day and she told me to not be a stranger and stop by again soon, and I headed out. I awkwardly fixed the door, which amazingly Mila didn't comment on.

Errod was pacing. "Are you okay? I acted like I'd twisted my ankle, but then I didn't see you come out and..."

Katrin came running from the alley. "I whistled to Errod when I saw her coming, but then she looked confused like she'd walked up to the wrong side of the building by mistake and she just... she just opened the wall."

"That's so fucking cool. Anyway it was fine, there was a letter and it said to meet whoever it is a place called the Cheese Cave. There's a map sketched here. Sixth bell chimed before we even found Monster's Hill, right? It's got to be close to first bell now." As we walked I told them about the fake rock, and made them promise to carefully check it out if I didn't come back. First bell rung before Mila's studio was even out of sight, and on top of that the map was shitty. We did eventually eventually arrive at the Cheese Cave, which appropriately enough was a restaurant in a basement. I said my goodbyes just in case, and headed inside.

It was one of those rare days where I felt somewhat balanced, not overly emotional or devoid of feeling. I was nervous, and excited, and a hundred other things - but also was just muted enough to keep it all hidden. As I approached the host he did a double take, and then hurried into a side room. An older woman came out a moment later, and winked at me. "Follow me, please."

We headed past some tables down a short hallway, and then she pulled open a massive and ancient-looking door made from six inch thick planks of wood. Passing through what was surely the restaurant's namesake, I stared at the shelves stacked with cheese wheels. At the end of the room, set into the rough stone walls, there was a smaller door that the woman opened and gestured me towards. I couldn't see much because of the angle, but it was clearly a little private dining room and I could hear the clink of silverware on a plate. Taking a deep breath, I stepped inside as the woman closed the door behind me.

I was already inside though, sitting at the table. Myself, but... cooler, and with longer hair. She grinned, the same smirk I'd seen on the statue, and spoke to me in English. "Man, have I been eager to see the look on my face for this. Come on, younger me. Have a seat, this is going to get weird."