Leftover Apocalypse

Telen must have been standing in the hallway, holding Gerand through the open doorway. But he was gone now, leaving only the headless corpse. Everything drifted in reverse.

I was listening to them yell over the crackling flames, and the smoke was getting to be too much.

"The sigils, Gerand!" Telen's voice was coming from the room I'd lit on fire, or the hallway just outside.

"Never!" Gerand's voice was quieter, harder to hear. He demanded to be put down, and Telen said he was going to roast him over a campfire like a marshmallow.

No. That wasn't right. "I'm going to hold you here, like roasting a sausage over a campfire." That was it. The memory continued. "I will kill all of them, Gerand. How old is Sela now? Is she two, yet?" I stumbled down from the potted plant, desperate to get away from the smoke. Dropping down a few feet helped, and I gasped at the relatively clean air. I was frustrated, angry, powerless. I reached for the door...

"How old is Sela now? Is she two, yet?" I stumbled down from the potted plant, and the whole room seemed to dim. The heat radiating off the wall, the smell of the smoke, the soreness of my arms - everything faded to the background. Could I still hear them talking? Maybe. A muffled sound of voices, but no distinct words. I reached for the door. Was that chocolate milkshake I tasted? Everything drifted in reverse.

I heard someone coming up and had to scramble to get out of sight. The room I picked was the one with the carpet, though it had been rolled out revealing the runes. I was still worried people were coming and there was no window, no furniture other than an enormous potted plant. I headed towards the plant...

The carpet was rolled out there in the center of the room, covered in those runes. I turned away from it to look for a hiding spot. I walked in and looked down at the carpet, rolled out in front of me. I could see the runes clearly. I started to look up, and looked down at the carpet as I walked into the room. The memory began to loop so quickly that it was a single frozen moment in time, just me staring down at the carpet. I hung there, forever, caught in a single endless moment. And then like a soap bubble it just... popped.

I gasped and sat up, looking around the room. Hugh was talking to a woman in a very expensive-looking outfit, and there were guards at the door, but I could tell we were still at the Bloody Boar. Slowly my mind began to realign and I got my bearings again. The pinched-face man sitting next to me turned towards the woman.

"Shail, I have finished. Unfortunately the young lady did not hear Gerand's final moments and so we cannot confirm whether or not he revealed the sigil sequence. She did, however, get a good look at Telen's sequence which I have written down for you. I don't know if he will re-use this same one, but it's worth a try. Other than that, I can only say that her description of events was accurate."

If I hadn't been trying to keep Earth a secret, I would have asked the guy to take me back to a memory of eating a three meat pizza. In fact, the idea of taking memory magic when I had the chance was really tempting if it meant I could re-live just the good parts of Earth at will. Pinched-face guy shot me a funny look - sympathy? Pity? And then pulled that woman away from Hugh. Yeah, no. Whatever this was about I needed to hear it. I hurried behind the privacy screen as if I was going to use the chamber pot, and then dropped to the floor and wiggled under the bed. From there I was exposed for a moment as I scooted across the narrow gap before Hugh's bed, but then I was underneath and close enough to hear what was being said.

"- only what I was told to, but I didn't need to pry to see the... inconsistency. I don't know if it's trauma or state secrets or something else, but I'd like the chance to do a more thorough examination."

"No, I'm sorry." the woman replied, "She's under the protection of the Endless Empire, if she knows something they want kept secret we can't risk angering them right now. The war will be over soon, and we want things to go back to the old quiet trade agreement. They could sweep up half our cities as they march troops home if they really wanted to."

Pinched-face guy sounded annoyed. "She needs professional intervention. There's maintenance that needs to -"

"No. That's final. Now... wait, where did she go?"

I waited a moment while they walked towards where I had been sitting, then came out the other side of the bed and quickly laid down on it. It would be suspicious as hell, but I'd rather be suspicious while sitting calmly in a bed than get caught wiggling out from under one. Sure enough, I got some narrowed eyes glaring at me but they ended up not saying anything about it. So he'd seen some inconsistencies, had he? Probably got a look at Earth for a second, or felt my brain thinking in an Earthy way or something. I'd been remembering other times I broke into places; could he pick up on memories of memories? Either way, it sounded like he thought I was crazy or something. Fair enough.

Another guard came into the room, and after some meaningful glances and nods he cleared his throat and began speaking. "All of the staff are accounted for. One of the clerks was killed prior to the fire starting when he attempted to raise the alarm, and all of the guards were killed."

"All of them?" I asked. The guard looked at me and then at the important-looking woman whose name I still hadn't caught. Started with an ‘S’, whatever it was. She nodded.

"Yes, miss. All of them. One of them may have assisted in the attack, though it's not clear if he was willing or being coerced. In any case, his body was found in the main entry. There was no sign of anyone else, and the only person seen leaving was a young woman who jumped from the second story roof." He again glanced at me, and then the other woman. She nodded again. "One of the clerks is writing up the full details including names, how long they had worked for the city, and anything else that could be relevant. I'd like to allow them to go home, they've been through a lot and they all vouch for each other."

The woman nodded. "Yes, of course. As soon as we have the list of names you can release them."

And with that, they all filed out - Hugh included. I considered trying to quietly follow them and listen in more, but I was exhausted and smelled like smoke so instead I ordered a bath. At the Bloody Boar they didn't lug tubs into the rooms, so instead the proprietor - the one with the same nose ring and slightly odd way of speaking as Hugh - led me to a room with two big copper tubs and an actual faucet. The water came out smelling a little like rotten eggs, but it wasn't bad once I got used to it and it was at least nice and hot. I was just getting in when the door opened and I had to scramble to cover myself.

"It's only me!" Katrin chirped, and started getting undressed. I wasn't sure how to react, so I just hurried and got in my tub. She climbed into the one next to me a moment later and sighed as she sank in as far as possible. "Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you for ordering baths."

"Yeah. No problem." I almost made a comment about not realizing I wouldn't be alone, but I bit my tongue. I liked Katrin, and I didn't really mind sharing the room. It wasn't as if I was particularly prudish or anything, I had just been caught off guard.

"While you were arranging the bath I tried to check in with Hugh, but he was busy. The little bit I overheard sounded like he's going to need to go to the battlefield for some reason. I'm not sure why he would need to go in person. I guess something went really well for us and Halenvar is panicking? But I don't really know what that means in practical terms."

Seeing an actual battlefield sounded more depressing than exciting. Still, I tried for a moment to psych myself up for it before realizing Hugh wouldn't take me out of the way and put me in danger. "Wait, so is he going to have us just stay here? Or go on our own?"

Katrin frowned. "Lady Harlowe was saying something about an escort, I assume that's for us. Well, for you."

This is a good thing, the voice in my head told me. And it was right. I'd been getting too attached. I'd been treating Hugh like a friend or something, and he was just a babysitter. A case worker. He was just someone that had been paid to deliver me somewhere. And yeah, he seemed like an okay guy - but in the end it was a job. He was another person that was going to drop me off somewhere and tell me I'd be safe there and then leave. Now the new person would introduce themselves, and either act like I was a nuisance or try to pretend to be friendly with me. Either way one of us would feel exhausted by the whole thing.

"Yeah, fuck that," I said, "I'm sneaking out in the morning. I'll find my own way."

"And are you going to abandon me, like you did this afternoon?" The closest I'd heard Katrin come to angry was being mildly snarky with her brother, and even then it was obviously affectionate. But this sounded... bitter.

"Wait, what? When did I abandon you?" And since when was that a problem if I did? But I bit my tongue on that part.

"You saw the men from Halenvar, and you didn't tell me what was going on. You just left."

"That’s..." I sighed. A little too loudly. "I didn't even know if they were really what I thought they were."

"And you didn't ask me. Maybe I would have known."

"Yeah? And if you'd known, would you have let me sneak in there?"

Katrin hesitated at that one. "I don't know. Maybe. At the very least I could have run for Hugh while you snuck in, and you wouldn't have had to light the building on fire and almost burn to death or get skewered by that monster! I could have kept watch, or caused a distraction, or if you had been caught I could have told someone where you were. I could have helped!"

I'd been enjoying Katrin's company the last few days, but I didn't tend to make efforts to learn more about people. I hadn't asked about her childhood, or what happened to her parents, or anything like that. I only knew the little tidbits she had volunteered, or the things that were obvious. She loved her brother but felt like she had to be the grown-up one sometimes when he got wrapped up in his obsessions. She wanted to be the best mage in the world someday. She was not just willing but actually excited to leave her home behind and travel with some strangers. She liked mushrooms almost as much as Hugh, and seemed to really enjoy trying to help me learn magic.

Considering the fact that I'd barely talked to anyone else for days that wasn't a lot. That's the kind of stuff I could have learned the first afternoon. "Listen. I... I'm not great at this. I don't have friends. I have people that I don't hate, and that I can work with to get something done. Even then, they usually end up fucking me over or something. I just... you know, you said you knew magic and I wanted to learn and... I don't know. I wasn't thinking of this as being friends. You wanted to get out of that town because of those guys, and that happened because Errod was trying... badly but heroically... to help me, and presumably it's dangerous to just head out on foot over that kind of distance. But you're here now, so. I mean, you can stay here."

Katrin had her eyes closed, and despite her sounding annoyed a moment before she looked completely calm. "Well that's not true. I have a very good memory, you know. When we showed up and I realized my brother had completely misinterpreted whatever you said to him the night before, I apologized for the misunderstanding and said we were going to leave. You stopped us. You wanted us to come, and I hadn't mentioned magic yet."

She was right. Part of me insisted it was just that I had wanted to learn more about the Van Halen logo, but I could remember being particularly emotional that morning and getting all wispy thinking about siblings going on an adventure and... fine. Sure. "So what, you want to come with me? Hugh won't be around to train Errod, and I don't think I'm going to be able to get you into the Duminere at Theramas. I don't even really know who it is that sent for me."

That got her attention. She sat up, eyes wide, and just stared at me like I'd grown another head. "You don't know? How could you not know? Didn't you say it was an influential relative?"

Fuck it. "I lied. Like I said, I don't do the friend thing very well. But I mean... either you're coming with me just for the hell of it or we're probably never going to see each other again after this so... yeah, I don't have any clue who it is. They sent a letter, and the bracelet translator thing, and Hugh. And the letter was just signed 'me' so that doesn't help."

She looked absolutely incredulous. "And you just went with him? Just like that? Doesn't that feel kind of insane?"

"Katrin, that letter was maybe the fifth most insane thing I was dealing with at the time. I'd just been teleported from... somewhere ridiculously far away, and I don't know how or why. I'd almost died, from the teleport and allergies and something in the water my body wasn't ready for. I'd never dealt with magic or monsters in my whole life, not once."

Okay, that was all true. But now... now I was in a warm bath talking to someone that seemingly wanted to be my actual friend and I wasn't in danger of dying and I'd accepted that I was somehow in the world from the Jake Ross books. I could take a minute. "I guess the letter is pretty strange, and there's one part that I think might - just might - be contradicting the rest. I suppose I don't need to even go there, not really. But if it's legit then I'd be passing up money and probably an invite to the Duminere. That's what it's implying, anyway."

"Well, what do you want to do? Errod is... he's probably delusional, he's never going to be the greatest swordsman in the world or whatever. But he knows what he wants, and he's going for it. I'm probably not going to be the best spellcaster without some kind of help, which is why I'm willing to risk locking myself out of wild magic if I get into a Duminere and I'm stuck with a dud. You... I'm not clear on. You want magic, I know that. And you kept training with Hugh, like you wanted to be able to fight. But what's the goal? Do you need whoever wrote the letter to get there?"

"I want to survive, mainly. This place is so different from Arizona and I need to have some way to get by. Money and magic is what the letter promised, and that would do it. But as far as actual goals? What I want to do? I read these books telling the story of the same guy Errod was talking about, the 'savior of Brinkmar', though it sounds like they weren't super accurate. And I... I'm not going to be that guy, because sometimes I don't even care about people at all and sometimes I even... I know you heard me mention Hugh and I having a run-in with Halenvar soldiers, but I didn't mention that I killed two of them, and at my age and not being a soldier or anything I know my mom would say it's fucked up that it didn't bother me. But it didn't. And thinking about that, and those books, and then me being there with Telen telling that guy he was going to hunt down his kids?

"I'm not the hero type like Errod but if I can find villains, or monsters, or something like that... if it's obvious enough then I don't need to actually care, right? It doesn't matter if I can't feel the right feelings sometimes because being a good person would just mean stopping the monsters. That's what this place is going to do for me. That's the opportunity. If you kill the villain, you're the hero. Period. Nobody even needs to know that you're not capable of..." Oversharing, Calliope. "Anyway, I want to help people in a way that doesn't mean I have to do... difficult social stuff. I get bored helping people in normal everyday ways, if I remember to do it at all. But I could kill someone like Telen. And I guess, whatever else needs to be done. I could kill monsters or whatever, be a sort of bounty hunter but try to pick jobs that make people like me."

I glanced over at Katrin, and she was just looking thoughtfully at the ceiling. She didn't seem to be bothered by my rambling. After a minute she just said "Okay".

That's it? I mention I want to kill people because it's too hard to be a good person in normal ways and that's all she says? "Sorry, what do you mean by 'okay'?"

"I mean... Okay. Let's stick together for now. You do the ugly parts, the breaking into places and stabbing people and other questionable but justified things, and Errod can do the parts where you have to talk to people and care about their feelings, and I can make sure the two of you don't get yourselves killed. Like a team."

"Why? We don't even know each other very well, we've known each other a few days and I just told you I'm bad at giving a shit about people - yourself included."

"Sure. But killing monsters is supposed to help you build your mana reserves, and I get a good vibe from you, and I'd rather hang out with someone that does the right thing even though they don't really care than someone that just assumes everything they do is the right thing by virtue of them wanting to do it."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. "I've been lying to you about Arizona. But. It's strange and you're going to think I'm crazy so I'd rather ease you into it. It's... pretty fucking wild shit."

Katrin smiled, and closed her eyes again. "Okay. We can keep some secrets for now."

As expected, Hugh made vague references to something he urgently needed to do in response to the security breach and the new - surprisingly positive - developments in the war with Halenvar. He introduced me to my new keeper, and made it clear I was supposed to listen to him and stay with him. I was no longer going to Theramas, I was being picked up by soldiers from the Empire that would be rushing there by the next morning.

I awkwardly shook Hugh's hand, and watched as he rode away on his moskar. The new keeper was a bored-looking young man named Thonas which was frankly a stupid name, and it turned out that it was a fitting one because Thonas was about as smart as a bag of hammers. It took us less than five minutes to ditch him, sending him off across the city for red gallasberries which we not only didn't need but which I had made up on the spot.

"Okay, we weren't supposed to be leaving until tomorrow so we need to convince the stablehand to get our moskar ready without them telling anyone - assuming Hugh didn't already sell them. Do you think Thonas already talked to the stablehand?"

Errod shrugged. "Probably not, but Hugh might have. Does he know you well enough to suspect you would run off? If so, he might have deliberately told them not to let you go."

That sounded pretty plausible. I was nervous, but when we turned the corner our moskar were already out - saddled and waiting. There was a note pinned to the bag on mine, and I wasn't totally surprised when I saw its contents:

"Be good. -Hugh"