Weeaboo's Unfortunate Isekai: The Necromancer's Gacha

I got my hard working artillery into place on the wall. “Pomoroy, can I upgrade you to fire grapeshot? Or canister?”

“Pardon, my liege?”

Guess that’s a no. I waved her into position. “Miyuki, up on the roof with the Young Gentlemen please. Prioritize killing stealthed units, otherwise do your usual job piling them up and nailing them down.”

“Miyuki hears the words whispered in the wind.” She still had the grappling hook. She had awkwardly tied it around her waist, but it seemed that no force should attempt to part it from her. She whipped it around twice and was on the roof a bare second later.

She. She’s just so perfect, you know? Did I mention the way her hair ornaments are perfectly highlighted by the burning city around us? The way the hot wind makes her midnight tresses flutter in the-

“Incoming!” Versai yelled.

Damn! Second wave was coming in, and I hadn’t even asked about repairing the barricade. Perv later, kill now! “Artillery, Fire as soon as they are in range! Osain, can I repair the barricades?”

“Yes, with a worker! Madame’s Regulars can do the job!”

Not just no but HELL NO to that.

“I did ensure they were all equipped with a magic sack that produces flaming explosives. They don’t do a lot of damage all at once, but the fires keep burning for a good few minutes. They pair up well with Final Revel.” Madame had seen the look on my face.

That got a raised eyebrow from me. I don’t know why I was surprised. She had consistently shown that she was smart and ruthless. Not too shocking she would think of that. Still a higher level of initiative than I associated with Versai. Hmm. Must test later.

“Radz raining death.”

“Pomoroy, by Imperial Decree!”

Ah. Damn. I goofed. I looked out and counted noses. Thirty this wave. They didn’t need me to micro-manage.

I jumped off the wall and ran back twenty long steps. I couldn’t remember exactly what Radz minimum range was, but this should help regardless. I started grabbing the scattered sandbags and built up a platform. It wasn’t… the best platform. I had to make a smaller platform out of sandbags next to the main platform, just so I could reach the top.

Not OSHA approved, to be sure. But it was ten feet tall, and the top was as flat as I could make it, so… should work?

“Miyuki sees only the slain.”

“That’s all of them, Tower Master.” Versai yelled down.

“Awesome! Radz, reposition. Set up on this tower here.” I ran back to the wall to examine the damage. The first (of two) hedgehog barriers was destroyed, with significant damage to the second. I checked the warehouse. I only had six more hedgehogs in stock, and the other barriers were just variations on low wooden walls. Strictly speaking they were better than nothing, but I’d stick with what I knew worked.

The monsters flashed white. Sixty Runed Bones, no waiting. And now the beatings can really begin.

“Osian, Summon all my Mikas!”

The summoning circle glowed blue, and here was the crossbow squad. Corporal Mika stood forward. “Mika is here. You have nothing to fear.”

Damned if I didn’t believe her. The sky would shatter and fall before Mika would drop her shield and run. Maybe not even then.

“Get your squad up on the roof, across from the Young Gentlemen up there. Run, Corporal! The next wave is any second now.”

“SQUAD! AT THE DOUBLE!”

I tossed out a fresh barricade to replace the broken one.

“Incoming!”

Damn. The Mika’s were still getting into position. I tried to count quickly. Fifty. The numbers were jumping higher. Armored variants when? Any wave now, surely. And that’s assuming this thing is going to stick with the monsters I have seen so far. I have no reason to believe that. This was an extermination attack on a (weakened, comparatively poorly defended) major city. No way the monsters only brought their weakest units.

“Radz raining death.” Guess she was fine. That tower is literally just stacked up sandbags.

“Pomoroy, by Imperial Decree!” God, what I wouldn’t give for grapeshot. Just shred the monsters. Actually, shrapnel rounds for Radz would also be very tasty. And while I was dreaming, a heavy machine gun nest would be sweet too. Helicopter air support? Miniguns carried by muscular orc waifus?

Nothing sweet about the monsters. Bellowing and screaming, their long, all too human hands gripping the cobblestones as they hurled themselves down the street towards us. Radz and Pomoroy were doing their usual excellent work thinning them out. Miyuki wasn’t being quite as efficient at clumping them up, due to the wider space the monsters had to maneuver. Still, they were killing them long before they could reach my people.

Wait. No. No way. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?” I didn’t quite scream. Actually, based on the looks I was getting, maybe I did. I don’t care.

“Tower Master?”

“Don’t worry about it.” I ground out. How do I explain that I had figured out why all the walls were so low?

You were supposed to build your own maze on the street, and let your infantry work around the blockades. The walls stretched the width of the map, but I would bet cash the workers could modify them. If you set things up just right, you could get a Thug into melee without being demolished. Then just keep spamming your cheap, disposable units to make up numbers, while stacking your actually good summons at the end as a roadblock. It was the dumbest damn thing…

Well. Screw doing this the ‘right’ way. Daddy’s American. He's gonna shoot some things and then blow them up.

The Mikas opened up, and immediately popped their Ult. The storm of bolts scythed through the monsters. It was brutal. Utterly brutal. The cumulative effects of the weapons kits, the combat experience, and the all important Corporal Mika, were devastating. I could remember when the Mikas needed three hits on target to put down a monster. They were one-shotting them thanks to the Ult. It took bare seconds for the third wave to melt away.

They never even reached the barricade.

“Well. Damn. Go Mika.” I saw their shield tower collapse. They sprawled on the rooftop, panting for breath. Not unconscious, though. I slowly smiled. They ended the wave very fast. I bet that meant they would have enough time to recover before the next wave.

There was a polite cough behind me. I am very proud to say that I didn’t shriek.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what sort of noise that is, young man. Is it a human noise? These days one can’t be too careful about that sort of thing.”

Sebastian was back and as dapper as ever. Versai didn’t say a damn word. She just rushed over and hugged the hell out of him.

“I love you, Uncle. You were always the person I could count on, when everything was crazy and nothing made sense, you were always there for me. I didn’t get to tell you before. Thank you. For everything. Thank you.” Her voice was choked, struggling not to sob.

“There, there, not in front of the troops. They don’t like to see that kind of thing. I love you too, sweety. Since the day you were born. Shh. Enough of that now. You will make this old man tear up in public, and my image could never survive that.” His voice was so warm.

They held each other on that wall. Their home burning around them. Sebastian standing on the field where he died. I looked away. They deserved… more than I could give them. I hunched in on myself and looked away.

Eventually, the monsters glowed and vanished, which usually meant we had about a minute before the next wave. Sebastian coughed again, this time clearly intending to pretend none of the preceding five minutes happened.

“I see a few of my Young Gentlemen up on the wall, but most of the rest here are strangers to me. It would be wise of you to summon more troops while you still can, though I suppose you know your own business best.”

“And hello to you too, Sebastian, you old goat!” Madame’s voice was equal parts playful and acidic.

“Ah, Madame! You are just as I remember you. Such a pity. Still, early night. Hope for the future.”

I checked my pouch. Clean hundo Bones. Nice nice. Now, do I summon my higher tier units, or some of the locals? I mentally reviewed my roster. Kim- not urgent. Marci and the Judiths? Pass, I can recruit Madame’s Regulars for cheaper, and I won’t feel as bad if they die. Rakim? This was exactly her cup of… well probably not tea, cup of boiled-to-death-black-coffee?

Honestly, I had most of my combat team already here. Rakim would cost me forty… hmm.

Victory through superior firepower. Sebastian’s Young Gentlemen were Ten Bones a pop, Madame’s Regulars were seven, and her Working Girls were fifteen. Just going to ignore the disposable thugs for now. I’d summon the Disbanded Militia when I could, but right now, the cost/benefit wasn't there.

“Osain! Summon Rakim, three Young Gentlemen and one Madame’s Regular.”

“Yes, at once!”

I looked over at Sebastian. “Are you strictly a melee fighter, or can you work at range too? Do the Young Gentlemen benefit from being near you?”

“I like to think they benefit from my close supervision, yes. And yes, I can attack at range. Not a very long range, mind you, but this should be fine. Up on the roof with the others?” His voice, God! When I grow up, I want to sound just like Sebastian.

“Good. Take the new guys with you, and up you go. Oi! Regular!” He had a strong “City Dweller A” vibe to him. Round head, pushbroom mustache, beefy physique. “Can you fix that barricade?” I pointed at the damaged hedgehog.

“Sure.”

“Do it. Climb up the wall the second you are done.”

“Incoming!” Damn. I quickly started counting. Fifty ordinary monsters, and leading the way was a solid block of twenty armored monsters.

“Did no one draw artillery? Are they super rare units or something?” I asked Versai.

“No, not really. It’s just, most people strongly prefer melee units. They tend to do a lot more damage per hit, and can stop a charge. Well. Some of us can.”

“Yes, exactly. Young man, while it’s not my job to tell you who to employ, I am quite troubled by the lack of Thugs or other muscular sorts.” Madame sounded like she was trying to be firm but fair, and leaning strongly towards “firm”.

“Good point. How close did the last wave get?” I pointed “Also, I notice that you haven’t needed the Revel, and we haven’t made use of the spell tower.

“Yet.”

I nodded. That was fair. “Yet.”

Pomoroy’s cannonball smashed through the ranks of the armored monsters. They had pulled themselves together just in time for Radz mortar to land on their heads. The gore was awful. They were the enemy, and it was still awful. Confetti bones and garlands of guts covered the street. Blood splashed across the pavement, from burning building to burning building. It was the stuff of nightmares, of horrors.

I could only wish we could do it faster. Still. We are doing it pretty fast now.

We were thinning them out at a decent clip. Miyuki was operating at extreme range, but still dropping armored monsters with every pull of her longbow. The range-heavy troop selection was working. Which meant that right about now…

There was a bellow, and a huge form rumbled up behind the monsters. Slapping them to one side as it rushed down the street. Bigger than my wall, too. Somehow I couldn’t stop grinning.

“HEY BUDDY! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU! COME TO DADDY FOR BEATINGS!”