Weeaboo's Unfortunate Isekai: The Necromancer's Gacha

We stood at the top of the street and looked down into the bonfire of the Floating Quarter. The squalid horror and brutality of it. The fierce pride and the vibrant life of it. The Floating Quarter wasn’t someplace where sophisticated people gazed at things with detached disinterest. It surely wasn’t a life lived without regrets. It was a place that said “We can’t fix what ails you, but for a little while, you can find comfort here. Whatever that means to you.”

And now it was on fire. It had always been on fire. It always would be on fire. It’s homes, people, dreams, burning. Forever. Unless we changed something. I have no idea if we can change this place permanently.

“That… wasn’t there before. None of that was there before.” Versai sounded unsteady. I don’t blame her. We might not change this place permanently-

“Told you it was the boss arena.”

But we changed it for right now.

The street had been cramped, narrow. Two burning (but accessible) buildings on the left, one on the right. Everything else had been a freeze frame of charred misery. Now, the street has opened up. Instead of being blocked by rubble, it stretched out another block and a half behind us. A barricade stretched the width of the street up ahead, and just before that, a shimmering barrier of light. Even the street was wider, much wider. Two lane highway wide.

Standing just to the side of the road, behind a little table was a short, stocky man who’s name should be Merchant A, but knowing the devs, won’t be that creative. I smelled a black robed rat, or his evil cousin.

I walked closer to the barrier. I was not surprised to see a notice pop up.

Ruin Site- The Floating Quarter of Gradden March

The people of the Floating Quarter put up a heroic resistance to the monsters. It cost them everything. Nevertheless, their furious resistance allowed thousands of other humans to live for weeks, months, even years longer. Their courage lit a flame that shines on even when their world fell dark.

Tower Master, you must rescue the Floating Quarter of Gradden March! Defeat the waves of monsters before they break through the final barricade and begin their slaughter.

You will be aided by locals who will fight… for a price. You may also summon your Awakened Souls… also for a price. Your party doesn’t fight for free either, but you only get paid if you win. In the Floating Quarter, nothing is free, and secrets fill the shadows. There are opportunities here, and hidden dangers too. The Merchant Osian may know more that would help you.

I looked over at the beaming merchant. Then over at the giant wall of light. Then down the block at the… everything… that was also on fire. There was a literal horde of monsters about to come pounding down the street, and this… entrepreneur was trying to hustle me. Adorable.

“Goooood afternoon, valued customers! I am the merchant Osian and may I say that I have never seen such handsome, beautiful, intelligent customers as yourself?”

“You may.” I nodded graciously. He chuckled warmly. I tried to keep my eyes from narrowing. Merchant NPCs, with the sensuous exception of Hattie, had less brains than a parakeet. Which meant that Osian wasn’t just a merchant.

“What can you tell me about the battle?” I asked.

“Oh, it’s terrible, terrible. The Home Guard couldn’t hold back the monsters at all. Now they are raging through the lower city. Some absolute ne’er-do-wells scattered hay soaked with pitch across roofs through the whole lower town, and once people started running from the monsters, well, they lit the hay on fire. The whole city is burning.”

Versai shoved forward. “They did what?”

“The whole city is burning. Well. The lower town, technically. And even then, it’s mostly the west side, where the monsters are coming from. But you know what fire is like. It’s spreading. The upper town will be fine, with its walls and spell towers, but the lower town will be ash by this time tomorrow.”

Was there a little glimmer in his eye? A surviving memory, maybe. Or maybe there was just a little extra programming in there. A little something for the keen eyed and laterally thinking.

“We are going to help defend the Quarter. Is there anything you can do to help?” I said.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! Rumor has it that the Home Guard is reforming and will deploy to plug the breach here. With only one spot to defend, they won’t get overwhelmed like they did on the walls. They will slaughter the monsters!”

Sure. Sure, that sounds likely. Still, I can recognize a victory condition when I hear it.

“And your help?”

“Ah, I am a merchant, my friend! I can provide many barricade making materials, healing potions, and other good things. My prices are very reasonable.”

“I’m sure. How many guilders per… lets say a healing potion?”

“My friend, you wound me! In these desperate times, how could I ask for guilders? No, I want to help the monster killers! I will swap these valuable, precious goods for the worthless Runed Bones you can harvest from monster corpses.”

I admired that statement for a moment. If I was your generic Protag-kun, I might even have believed it. He did look terribly earnest. Unfortunately, my customer base was a 75%-25% split between ‘smart’ small investors and their predators.

“I see. Very generous indeed. Any special offers?”

He looked a little shifty. “Well. This is the Floating Quarter. Things are what they are. I may have a little something that is less than strictly legal available. For a price.”

“No. You don’t say. Well I never. Gosh golly gee-willikers. Whatever could it be?”

Osain dramatically coughed and looked around, as though the Marquess’ daughter wasn’t standing right in front of him.

“Portable spell towers. Limited range and power, but charged enough to last the whole night. I had a friend in the upper town secure them for me. I can assure you, they were in storage. Not deployed. The upper town is perfectly secure!”

“I believe you. Completely and unquestioningly. How much do these Towers cost?”

“These are premium goods! Extremely valuable, especially now. I wouldn't sell them at all, were it not for the desperate state the city is in. It is every citizen’s duty to help in times of crisis.”

“Price?”

“Three frozen crystals. Each.”

By amazing coincidence, I had exactly three frozen crystals. Now what are the odds of that?

“Ah. So let me get this straight. You have a lot of very heavy, bulky, hard to transport items, warehoused in a city that is on fire and being invaded by monsters that move a lot faster than a wagon. You are now trying to sell them to me in exchange for a currency that is actually useful, as opposed to guilders, which aren’t going to matter a damn in a hot minute.”

“Sirrah, I do not like your implication!”

“I don’t like getting ripped off, “my friend,” who definitely has receipts for all the goods he is peddling.” I could see the eyes darting around. Oh yes. Not a merchant, but a ‘merchant.’ I followed up my attack.

“Incidentally, if you try to bolt for your horse, my bodyguard here will stab you in each of your major organs, in alphabetical order.”

“I would like to see her try! My friends aren’t very interested in fighting on the front lines, but they have crossbows trained on all of you this very second. Don’t bother looking, they are too well hidden.”

“You have fireproof friends? Lucky you. Speaking of, if you want to get any money for anything, you better start coughing up the goods. Now! Take a real, real good look at my bodyguard. She remind you of anyone?”

“Can’t say she does.” He looked away. But didn’t move away. Foot nailed to the floor by the devs, I bet. Somehow, that didn’t make me like him any more. I could feel the loathing rising up my guts and into my throat.

“Osain, my ‘very good friend,’ meet Versai ferch Gradden, daughter of Marquess ap Gradden, your liege and someone with a well known penchant for drowning his problems in the blood of their kin. I believe she takes after her old man that way, but frankly, she’s killing targets faster than we can trace the families.”

“Ah. Well. Be that as it may-”

“Her uncle, Sebastian, you know him right? I understand he has all sorts of people doing quiet jobs for him around here. Easy to imagine how he would feel about people screwing over his niece. And what he might do about it.”

“I’m not! I never-”

“Then there’s ole Crusher Jim. I have to wonder about how Jim will feel when he hears about someone peddling war supplies. He takes a lot of pride in his time in the Guards. Eight campaigns, I believe. Yeah, he probably has views.”

“I’m hardly-”

“And these lovely ladies you surely recognize. They are Madame’s most trusted and loyal lieutenants. You know her, of course. She’s the one who paid for the stuff you are trying to sell!”

“That’s not… look, we all have to make a living! You think I want this? Any of this?”

“I think that if you don't cough up every last damn item in your inventory, the remainder of your brief, miserable life will make the damn monsters puke!”

“I cannot do that.” The voice came out flat. I lost it. The smoke, the fires, the… everything. I reached over the table and yanked Osain across it. I didn’t realize I had drawn my knife until the tip was almost touching his eyeball.

“You will. Right now. I’ve never murdered someone before, but on God I swear you will be the first. I will punch this knife clean through your evil brain and I won’t feel bad about it at all, because to me, you are worse than the damn monsters!”

Osain’s face was flat, tears leaking from his eyes and rolling down his face. “I cannot. I cannot. I cannot. I want to. More than anything. But I cannot.”

Damn. DAMN! Jammed by the same damn system that put him here.

“Well what can you do?!” I tried not to scream at him.

“I can tell you that all the ordinary goods, that is, the building materials, are in the building behind me. The door only opens for me, but I can open the door and just stand there. But there is nothing I can do about the spell towers. Nothing. They can only appear when I receive the Frozen Diamonds.”

He took a deep breath. “I can get you the cheapest possible price when summoning reinforcements. I can’t do it for free. I literally cannot. The magic platform needs the rune bones to run. I can hire the locals for the lowest price possible, too, but again, they won’t work for free. They need the bones as much as I do.”

“Do I have to summon them now, or can I do it during the fight?”

His voice had gotten very quiet. “You can do it whenever you please. I’m not allowed to move more than ten paces from this table until you win or the monsters kill me. Please. Please believe me. I want you to win. Very much.”

“Has anyone ever won?”

“You are the first to reach us. I don’t know why, but the battle runs over and over again. I have been torn apart by the monsters… so many times. And I can never leave here. I know every bend in every bit of grain in every piece of wood in my prison. I’m not even allowed to kill myself before the monsters reach me. So please. Win.”