The Outer God Needs Warmth

As evening fell, I had no idea where Hyungkesuni had gathered all these, but she brought a variety of underwear. Tada!

Most of them were familiar to me. I mean, how could I not know, with the number of times I’ve… cough… been around since I came to this world?

So, I tried on the underwear Hyungkesuni brought. Unfortunately, most of them didn’t fit. Boohoo!

I wore a few, but they were too tight on my chest. Hyungkesuni glanced down at her own chest, sighed softly, and then approached me, reaching out to touch my pristine white dress. Touch, touch!

After a few prods, she gently tore the hem with her nails and let it fall back, asking, “Can’t you make it look like you crafted that outfit?” Huh?

Ah, right! There was that method.

The dress I was wearing was something I made too, after all. Yay!

I set the underwear aside and summoned my magic.

Suddenly, as my skin cracked, a black void appeared, releasing dark violet mist. I usually had to be careful here, but not now. Whoosh!

I poked my finger in, but it didn’t go all the way in. I could feel the skin. Ouch!

So, it wasn’t really split apart. Whew!

But isn’t it a bit harsh for you to tell me to do it, then run away the moment the mist starts to flow, Hyungkesuni? Pout!

I imitated Joanna, who was watching quietly nearby. Ehem!

Focusing to craft something, I saw Joanna nearby seated casually. Yet, instead of creating an outfit, the mist just swayed gently. Wooosh!

Is this how it’s supposed to work? Confused!

I grabbed the underwear. How did I put on that dress before? I had to remember. Focus, now. The important thing isn’t what’s in front of me.

I needed to look at things differently.

How I managed to wear that.

It’s normal that it exists here, so why am I trying to create it? Hmm?

Yes. I had underwear adjusted to my size. Of course, I also had some in my hands. Cling!

I figured it out. I’m not making something new. It’s not about creating something using the mist.

I can change the world. Victory pose!

To a world where such things naturally exist.

Then, shall I try something else? Excited!

First, I had a long-lost but essential item that shouldn’t have slipped from my hands. My phone! Bzzz!

Crack!

As black cracks spread from my hand like glass shattering, I heard Hyungkesuni yell from afar, “What are you doing?” Aw, shush!

The dark blue light swirled into her arms, creating a transparent barrier around her. Shield up!

Well, she has a protective shield. Hmm!

Hyungkesuni has that, but it saddens me I can’t have my phone in my hand. I could easily hold it if things go well. Sigh!

Crack!

No, I can hold it, at least. The more I tried, the larger the cracks in the air above my hand grew, as if unable to bear a massive weight. If I’m not careful, it’ll break like a window hit by a rock. Break!

Such a shame. Sob!

If I can’t hold it, I’ll have to shake it off. Shake shake!

Thus, the black lines spreading from my hand slowly melded away as if sewing up a wound. Zip!

Finally, all cracks disappeared. Of course, nothing remained in my hand. Empty!

I’m not sure if it’s that complex items are a no-go or if it’s because my phone doesn’t exist in this world. And I shouldn’t recklessly try again. Eh?

On the surface, the cracks disappeared, but I could feel an indescribable sensation that the area was still incredibly fragile. Eek!

Am I that heavy? Weighty!

The cold sea is definitely heavy, but that’s an odd space. Just an endless sea and an infinite night sky. And all that exists is the stars above. Twinkle!

Or maybe I just can’t see everything? Glance!

There are many possibilities.

But it’s certain it feels heavy. Phew!

I’ll think about that when I return to the sea. Bye bye, sea!

I was still encased in the transparent barrier, watching Hyungkesuni, who looked anxious as she gazed at me. Nervous!

“It’s over. I can’t create complex items, Hyungkesuni.” Done!

“Let me know beforehand if you’re going to do such things.” Duh!

Hyungkesuni lightly dispersed the transparent barrier around her, leaving a dark blue mist. Whiff!

Is she still not trusting me, or is that residue from spell casting? Questioning!

I can’t read her mind exactly, but I could tell by her expression.

She approached me, chuckling while looking a bit nervous. Giggle!

And pointed at me. “First, why don’t you get dressed? Are you really going to stay in your underwear?” Blush!

I shook my head. No way!

Then, I changed into comfy pajamas—Rebecca Rolfe’s favorite outfit. Comfy!

“Ah…,” a disappointed sound came from beside me. I turned to see Joanna looking forlornly at my outfit. Sad!

What’s wrong? Curious!

Then Hyungkesuni released a sound akin to disbelief. As Joanna and I glanced at her, Hyungkesuni stared at Joanna and said, “Joanna, if you think of Rebecca as your own child, you might regret it later.” Whaat?

A child? I examined Joanna’s expression. She looked troubled, but there wasn’t a hint of maternal instinct. Not really!

“I don’t see Rebecca that way, Hyungkesuni.” Defensive!

You see, Joanna is saying so. Point!

Hyungkesuni was staring fixedly at Joanna.

“If not, that’s fine. Just remember, this one is an outsider dwelling in a human body.” Reminder!

Hyungkesuni spoke the truth. Yes, I’m in a human body. I might have been human once, but I’m no longer one now. Shifty!

Huh? Confused!

“Outsider?” Puzzled!

Me? Where’d she get that idea? Look at me!

I gestured to myself while looking at Hyungkesuni. Then she flinched, like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t have. Oops!

Avoiding my gaze, she spoke, “I needed a term to call you. So I named you ‘outsider,’ meaning one who has come from beyond this world.” Why!?

“So, you called me that? I’m not a god.” Nope!

Yes. If I hadn’t heard it, I might not have known, but I heard it; therefore, I must deny it.

I’m truly not a god. I’m not omniscient or omnipotent. Nope!

As a god, there are many things I would fall short at. Sad!

“If you say so, then I guess that’s that. But let me ask you; do you have a god?” Oh?

Hyungkesuni was asking the person inside Rebecca Rolfe, not Rebecca herself. Do I have a god? I did, at one time. I had a religion during my human days.

But it wasn’t a fervent cult like those here; it was a mainstream faith, but I did believe. Believe!

But not anymore. No way!

That faith faded away in silent screams, lost in the dark, cold sea. Gone!

Therefore, there’s only one answer.

“None.” Flat!

I answered clearly. Nope!

“Is that so? Then it’s fine to call you my ‘outsider.’” Fine!

Huh? Why is that a thing? Huh?!

“Since you are not a god.” Exactly!

“But if there’s no god, then you’re a being similar to one. Of course, that’s from our view, not yours.” Really?

So, are all atheists gods now?

The question lingered on my lips, but I swallowed it. I should refrain from speaking like someone who can use wisdom. Shh!

At least not yet.

But, outsider.

I can grasp the meaning.

I’m not talking about the mad god in any bogus myth. Instead, the nuance leans closer to an alien. Though I’m not a Brit in New York. Oops!

Alien means outsider.

So, there’s nothing to argue about. It’s a word that expresses a desire to reject me permanently, which is bothersome. But, oh well. It’s true I’ve come from beyond. Duh!

“Is there a reason you refuse to be called a god, then?” Why not?

That made me swallow my words.

Why do I feel like I want to argue so badly? Hmm…

I still don’t well know. Doubting!

Yes. Then I have no reason.

“None.” Flat again!

“Then let’s call you that. The outsider without a name.” Done deal!

So that’s how it is.

At least it’s better than a curse-like name like Cruxshibal. Phew!

I can see why they’d want to make such distinctions.

“Do you dislike Rebecca Rolfe?” Hmm?

“That’s just the name of your body. For now, being called Rebecca, but that’s just a person’s name, right?” True!

That’s true.

That was the name of a girl taken and brutally killed by Future Hope Church. Eek!

It’s the name of the body I’m using.

So, does that mean it’s not my name? No waay!

Fine, then.

If you’re going to say that much.

I’ll accept the title of “outsider.”

“Yes. That’s right. From now on, use that as the word referring to me, Hyungkesuni.” Deal!

Hyungkesuni blinked at me, then carefully backed away from her spot. She looked at me with a broad smile… or maybe a face full of fear. Yikes!

Of course, I had no intention of spreading madness to others or attaching such descriptors, as in “unnameable” or “not to be called.” Nope!

I don’t even know how to do such things. Duh!

I’m not smart.

That alone makes my logic very simple. Hmm!

I need warmth. Cuddle!

“Then, Hyungkesuni, is there something you want to ask the outsider in front of you?” Curious!

Isn’t calling a god something because you want to ask for something? Otherwise, wouldn’t it just be called a monster, regardless of strength? Hello!?

But Hyungkesuni shook her head. Nope!

Hmph. Hmph!

Fine. The opportunity has sailed away. So, shall I ask Joanna next to me? Let’s go!

“What about you, Joanna? If I were a god, what wish would you want?” Wishes!

Joanna thought for a moment at my question and then made a wish. “Please eat more. Right now, you’re not eating enough.” Food!

Ah, that side of things? Hmmm!

Uhhh. Hmm. Ummm. Hmm…

“No, I’ll try.” Trying!

Eating too much makes my stomach uncomfortable… Oops!

At my reply, Joanna nodded with a satisfied expression. Oddly enough, Hyungkesuni, who was staring blankly at that, but I pretended not to notice since it irked me.

Calling me an outsider? What a bad word! Bad!

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