The Mad Rat’s Lab

*Clank, clank!*

*Bam!*

“Ouch! Thunder Thighs, be more careful!” One of Thunder Thighs’ spells hits both the monster it aimed at and Calaban, so he complains. “If you’re not used to my movements, you should be more careful when aiming.”

But distracted for a moment, Calaban lets one of the dog-shaped jellylike ants slip by. The ant, quick on its feet, rushes at Warpoke, the one with less capabilities to defend himself.

Warpoke has been using crowd control skills to keep the multiple monsters busy while the rest of the team dealt with the rest.

But of course, this made him their target.

Luckily for him, Navigator notices it on time and steps forward. “You too, Calaban. Don’t be distracted.” He says, sending the ant flying with a kick. “Focus on the battle first. Save the complaints for later.”

Navigator speaks in short phrases and without minding the other’s feelings, as a true warrior orc shall. Completely different from another player who constantly dives into my dungeon.

“Ugh, you’re right…” Calaban apologizes.

“No, no! It was my fault, I’m sorry!” Thunder Thighs apologizes too, sticking her tongue out. Though she doesn’t sound regretful at all.

After this slight mishap, the battle continues in all its intensity. Meanwhile, our team observes everything from a certain distance.

No. It isn’t that we don’t want to help them, but something we already agreed upon.

As you can see, they struggle to fight properly on their own, not being used to the other’s fighting style. We’re the same too, it isn’t like they suck or anything… Anyway, the thing is that if we were to join the fight, it’d do more harm than help.

That’s why, unless the situation needs it, we will stand by, observing their fight. They will do the same when we lead the team forward.

The leading team will be the one to fight unless the monsters come from behind.

Calaban’s team took the lead not long ago because we’re close to the third objective. But before we could reach it, this group of monsters found us.

Like all monsters in this Mystery Event, they look very weird. They are giant ants, but they look as if they were made out of jelly.

The majority of them are blue and have the size of a medium-sized dog; but there are two black ones, twice their size, which command them from behind. The black ones are nasty because they can attack from a distance with a sticky gooey substance that deals acid damage.

Don’t ask me what kind of monsters they are, I have no idea. The DMA developers themselves may have no idea either.

As I ponder about important life stuff, like what I’m going to waste my time on tomorrow or how many cookies are left in the cookie jar, Calaban’s team continues to fight. 

Their party doesn’t have the most common lineup of tank, melee damage, ranged damage, and healer. Instead, they have two bruisers and two squishy backliners, with Calaban and Navigator on the frontline.

Navigator specializes in a mix of raw melee output, knockbacks, and displacement. Thanks to his orc's innate and a mix of other skills, he personifies the idea of ‘berserker’. He stays at below half health to exploit his skills the best while dealing a ridiculous amount of sustained damage.

If you want to reach the backline, you’ll have to bring him down first… and he’ll probably bring you down with him.

Calaban, on the other side, it’s one of those annoyingly resilient characters you can’t ever kill. Seriously, he heals so much it’s ridiculous! This, mixed with his skill to dodge and parry, makes him incredibly hard to take down.

I wonder what innate skill he picked for the tournament. I know little about the undead faction, the Eternals, because I can’t create monsters from undead. I’d rather learn about those monsters I can use than those I can’t.

Thunder Thighs and Warpoke occupy the backline.

The only woman in their team, Thunder Thighs, the lamia, is the main damage dealer of the team. As a mage, she can use multiple spells to blast everything in her sight, regardless of their numbers or singular strength.

Sometimes, even her teammates, as you’ve seen.

But that’s more because she’s not used to Calaban’s evasive movements and less because she’s bad.

Warpoke, on the other side, is in charge of controlling the battlefield. He can’t deal too much damage and needs protection when the enemies get close… but what he can do is poke at them with his bow and ensure they can’t move thanks to his crowd-control skills. When the situation gets dangerous, he’s the one that can solve it.

All along, it’s a pretty well-balanced team, but they lack a dedicated role for each.

Although… if you think about it… it makes more sense to build characters like the ones they’re using, which can handle multiple situations. All of them would do fine regardless of the team they ended up with, unlike us.

I mean, in an event like this, it’s weirder to leave everything to a teammate you don’t know anything about, don’t you agree?

Moo can’t deal enough damage by himself to survive the attacks from the enemies he gets the aggro from.

Muribelle needs someone else to take the monster’s aggro for her skills to be effective. If she can’t aim properly and doesn’t have time to prepare her attacks, she’s less than half as effective.

I can survive fine by myself in the middle of combat, even in melee range, but bring me a single, powerful monster and I’ll struggle.

And Balmy… Balmy is Balmy. What else do I need to say about her? Hahaha!

Okay, I’ll stop joking. She can heal, remove ailments, resurrect, and even deal some damage. But if a monster gets close to her, she’ll die.

So, we do have the typical composition of tank, melee damage, ranged damage, and healer, but we’re lucky we got this team. Otherwise, we could have been doomed from the start of the tournament. Not knowing what teammates you’ll get implies a huge risk for such builds.

Aaah, now I’m starting to miss my team… Ricard, Laura, and Clara… And it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that my current teammates are crazy!

Okay, okay, you got me. Them being crazy does have something to do with it.

Ah! Now that I think about it, I have no idea what innate skills my teammates have other than Muribelle. Maybe, and only maybe, I should ask them. Before it’s too late, I mean.

‘To the future me: do something useful, you slacker!’

Alright. I’ve done what I could do. The future me is the one in trouble. Now, to enjoy the rest of the battle.

 

---

 

“Calaban, are you sure this is the correct way? Aren’t we back where we came from?”

Confident of being right, I raise my voice so he, who’s walking about twenty meters ahead of me, can listen to me. The map doesn’t lie: we’ve indeed come back to the same place.

Calaban stops and waits for me to get closer.

“Sssht! Don’t shout in this place. Who knows what might pop up.”

“Alright, alright. I know. But why did we come back here?”

He takes out his map and points at our current location. “The objective is close, slightly to the north. I wanted to avoid the underground highway as much as possible because it’s dangerous. So when we saw this side passage, that went to the north, I thought it would lead to our destination. But see this? It’s a dead end, it only continues to the east, so we had to come back here.”

“Aha... I understand.” I nod. “Why are you so scared of this wide passage? Isn’t it ideal for us, so both our teams can fight simultaneously?”

Calaban furrows his brows. “You’re right… But it’s also easier for other teams, monsters, and Calamities to find us.”

“But wouldn’t it make more sense for an important place to be located close to the main road?” I counter.

“...yes.”

He’s right that the wider the tunnel is, the harder it is to hide, and more people might use it. Even if we can spot Calamities thanks to our map, it doesn’t work against monsters and other players. Furthermore, it doesn’t assure a Calamity won’t approach us at maximum speed, as the passage is wide enough to use movement skills and fly, and the map updates every five minutes.

“Alright,” I shrug my shoulders. “We’ll follow after yo–”

*Thump! Thump! Thump!*

I stop talking, interrupted by the sudden noise. From afar, from the direction we want to go, we hear the rhythmic sounds of something heavy striking the ground.

Surprised, we all shut up. Not even Balmy dares to shout in fear.

*Thump! Thump! Thump!*

As the sound gets closer, we exchange looks. Both Calaban and I point at the entrance to the narrow tunnel we just came out of and quickly move inside.

But I stop near the entrance and turn around to peek into the highway. Curious, the rest of my team does the same, leaving Calaban and his teammates astonished.

“What are you doing!? Do you want to die!?” Whispers Calaban. It’s fascinating how someone can whisper and shout at the same time.

“Aren’t you scared of what’s coming? Evil Mastermind, do you know anything about it?” Warpoke asks me.

“No, I don’t know anything. But I’m curious. And stop with that name already.”

I’m scared one of them will hear it. I want to have a nice time at this Mystery Event, and meeting one or more of them would certainly ruin it.

“But…” I continue. “I think it’ll be okay if we stay here.”

If I’m wrong and it’s the sound of a Calamity coming closer… well, we might as well consider ourselves dead. But if I’m right, and I believe I am, we’ll be alright.

“Is that so?” Calaban looks at his team to seek their opinion. Thunder Thighs and Navigator just shrug their shoulders, while Warpoke nods enthusiastically. “We’ll wait then.”

Having decided our course of action, or lack of, to be more precise, we all stay close to the entrance, peeking into the highway.

*Thump! Thump! Crash! Bam! Thump! Thump!*

The sound grows closer. Soon, intermingled with the thundering noise, we hear the sounds of battle, intermixed with players’ screams.

“What the fuck’s that thing?”

“It’s way too strong! Everyone, run!”

How fucking loud must that walking noise be for it to have a higher volume than the explosions and crashing sound of battle and the screams? I’m starting to regret my decision. What if whatever is coming can kill us all?

The figures of four players appear from the distance, followed by something massive. Something that fills the whole space and still has trouble moving about.

Everything trembles when that thing moves. Every single step is like an earthquake. Each of its punches is strong enough to destroy a building.

…I wonder how much damage it’d cause if the walls weren’t indestructible. Maybe the whole labyrinth would collapse?

“That’s freaking huge…!”

For once, I completely agree with Balmy.

“I wanted a challenge, but this might be a bit mooooore than I can handle. Mooohahaha!”

“Isn’t that the perfect target? It doesn’t matter if my aim is bad, I’ll always land my attacks.”

Since there’s so much noise anyway, there’s no meaning in staying silent, so everyone starts saying their thoughts out loud.

When the monster’s silhouette becomes clear, I realize I was right all along. The massive thing chasing after the four players must be what destroyed the golem forge: a giant metal golem. Although I didn’t expect it to look so bad, with part of its body falling off, rusted, or completely missing.

Maybe it’s so deteriorated because of hundreds, maybe thousands of years, of nonstop moving and fighting? It’d make sense lore-wise.

But as I expected, it’s so big it won’t fit into the smaller tunnels, so we should be safe as long as it doesn’t have some kind of magic attack.

Let’s pray it doesn’t.

“D-do we have to defeat that thing?” Warpoke stutters. “I don’t think we can…”

“No,” I calm him. “This is just one of the mysteries of this Mystery Event.”

We calmly observe the struggle of the players to stay alive. Help them? Hell no! Do you think we have a death wish?

One of them is unlucky and stumbles on a rock. He falls to the ground and is soon squashed by the golem’s fist.

“Rest in pieces, my fellow player… Ah, no, I can’t say that.”

Not a single piece remains, so he can’t rest in pieces. If lucky, one or two drops of blood might remain. I’m sure the rest was disintegrated with the force of that hit. The only thing we can see of him is the empty HP bar floating close to where he died.

“Oh, no! Monsters are blocking our way! We are doomed!”

Monsters…? Ah, I didn’t realize until now, but monsters have appeared from the other side. Attracted by the noise, I guess.

“There’s an exit there!” One of the players points towards us. “Let’s go! There are other players! We’ll leave everything to them!”

Hey! Don’t come here! Don’t bring them here!

I’m about to shout in protest, but by the time I realize it, it doesn’t matter anymore. The golem and the monsters start fighting right in front of us.

The three survivors run into us, forcefully pushing themselves through our group to leave us behind.

“How rude. They didn’t even say hello.” I comment.

“Hey! At least say sorry!” Balmy shouts. “You’re so rude!”

I’m starting to fear something must be wrong. How come I find myself agreeing what Balmy multiple consecutive times? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

I quickly forget about the rude players and focus on the battle, which has turned into a massacre. The monsters that could give us a bit of trouble are no more than annoying mosquitoes to that massive golem.

“Heh, the monsters are so pathetic. They barely can put a dent in the golem’s HP bar.”

It is way too close to the ceiling, so it’s hard to see. But I could swear it hasn’t depleted at all since their fight started.

“Are we done here? Are you satisfied?”

Anxious at the prospect of the golem focussing its attention upon us when it finishes with the monsters, Calaban approaches me.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’ve seen what I wanted to see. We can wait for the golem to finish and then go our way.”

Calaban grimaces. “...why wait? Isn’t it risky?”

“Didn’t you say we must take the highway to reach the third objective? We can only wait for the golem to go away.”

“...right.”

With nothing more to talk about, we decide to wait for the golem to finish its massacre before continuing.

If there's one thing I learned from all this, it’s that unless it’s required for us to discover the mystery of this Mystery Event, we mustn’t fight that thing.

Absolutely not.

 

---

 

“...So, did you see him or not? He’s accompanied by a minotaur player.”

“Fuck! Why did it have to be us!? We just escaped from that golem and now we run into her! Fuck, fuck this rotten luck!”

“Answer me!”

The woman steps on the player’s head, threatening to pop it off. The remaining two players tremble in fear, not daring to run away.

“W-we will answer!” One of them says. “But please… please spare us.”

The woman glares at him and slowly pulls away her foot from his teammate’s head.

“Nice. I can’t understand why everyone tries to run away when I ask so nicely…” She shakes her head. “So, did you see a man with a rat head accompanied by a minotaur?”

“W-we saw him! We didn’t talk, but we saw him.”

“When? And where?”

“N-not too long ago…” When the woman twists her expression, he quickly adds more details. “About five minutes ago, I believe. We found him in that direction! I swear, so please spare us!”

The woman grins.

“Finally… I’m getting closer. You’ll have a taste of my rage.”

The three players tremble, assuming she’s talking about them. But soon they realize she’s talking about somebody else, so they calm down.

“C-can we leave?”

“Sure. If you survive this, that is.” A glowing orb starts growing on top of the woman’s hand. “Now, run.” She signals with her hand.

The players start running. But soon, the orb flies in their direction, painting everything white. The same fate as all the others who she interrogated falls upon them.

“I’m almost there. I’ll find you soon, and then…” She clenches her fist tight.

“...you’re the same as always.” Another woman’s voice breaks the silence.

“Huh?”

When the golden-eyed, winged woman turns around, she freezes. Her imposing demeanor vanishes like smoke. She stops moving as if she were frozen.

“I’m a little angry. Weren’t you supposed to look for me? …Sister?”

 

“As a general guide, the larger the monster, the stronger it is. This applies to all but humanoids, so take special care when dealing with them.”

- Basic DMA knowledge every player should know.