The Mad Rat’s Lab

“Are you sure this is the place?” While looking around, I ask Calaban who is next to me.

“I am. The objective marker turned gray as soon as we crossed the door. We’ve reached the second investigation point.”

“I see… But I didn’t expect this at all.”

“Neither did I.”

The reason I’m asking isn’t because I don’t trust Calaban and his team, but because I expected to find something similar to what we found in the first objective: a domed room, with pictures and writings on the walls and ceiling. But what’s in front of us couldn’t be any more different.

“Whoaa! This place is huge! I feel liberated! Fly, little fairy! Wiiii!”

“You’re right! With such a high ceiling and lack of walls, it’s perfect to test fire skills.”

“Hey, Muribelle. Do you want to test them on me while the others are busy? Let’s see who’s the first to fall! Mooohahaha!”

“Bring it on! I’ll show you my skills!”

My teammates cross the door after us. They get excited when they see the inside. And, as expected, they’re fucking crazy. One starts flying around, curiously poking everything she finds; the other two walk away, taking some distance, and then take fighting poses.

“Are you crazy!?” I run after them. I can’t allow them to continue. “Stop damaging yourselves all the time!”

I feel like a mom having to babysit their stupid sons so they don’t kill themselves. And I mean it literally.

“Don’t exaggerate. Balmy can heal us back.”

“Yeah, yeah. And I want to check if Moo’s reflect damage is higher than my passive fire damage. For… for scientific purposes, of course.”

What the fuck are you saying!? Are you crazy?! Well, I already knew you were crazy, but still…

“And what will you do if she runs out of MP and can’t heal you in the middle of combat because she wasted it healing you now, huh?”

“Ugh… well… I didn’t think about it.”

“Don’t worry, during combat, it’s Moo who takes the damage. I can, stay, outside of range, and...” When I glare at her, her voice fades out, until she finally shuts up.

You really can’t allow a pyromaniac and a masochist to get together or they’ll burn down the entire house.

“Hah… I’m getting old for this shit…” I shake my head. “Just stop, okay?”

“”Yeeeees!”” They reply at the same time.

“... Sigh!”

Anyway, where was I…? Ah, yes. The second objective.

When we found the first objective, which we found by chance, it was at the end of a narrow tunnel. A path paved with white stone slabs caught our attention and we decided to follow it. At the end of it, we found a dark room. When we came inside, several torches suddenly ignited, revealing the pictures and writings.

But this time, we were in a very tall and wide tunnel, one of the, if not the, biggest we’ve seen so far. The stone floor was worn out by the passage of carriages and other large objects, proof of the importance of this tunnel.

We followed the tunnel… or should I call it an underground highway? Bah, it doesn’t matter.

As we followed the tunnel, we realized that the wear on the ground was getting more noticeable. Because of the concentration of traffic, we thought. But we were wrong. Right where the wear was the most pronounced, a colossal wooden door awaited us. When the place was operational, I’m sure most of the traffic was coming from inside.

When I say colossal, I do mean colossal. About four meters tall and at least ten wide. The door, thicker than my whole arm put sideways, was reinforced by thick metal plates. I wonder how the hell the dwarves managed to open these stupidly heavy doors.

By the way, when I touched it, it felt like stone instead of wood. I wonder what’s it made of.

But the important part wasn’t this. The important part is that only half of the door remained. The other half was smashed to bits on the ground.

At first, we found it weird because there were no other signs of battle nearby. But then we realized what was going on.

The door was smashed… but it was smashed from the inside.

Yeah, the door was smashed from the inside instead of the outside. It’s similar to the door in my Sealed Area, but on a completely different scale. At least twice the difference in size. Which leaves me wondering what kind of monster did this.

After all, in my dungeon, there’s the Overgorger, the monster who smashed the door. Why shouldn’t there be an equivalent monster here?

…I don’t want to fight that monster if possible.

Once we came inside, what we found was another dark room covered in metal parts and remnants of machines. Here and there, you can see body parts made out of metal, stone, or wood.

“This must be a Golem Foundry or something similar…” I mutter. “This must be where the dwarves built their war machines. Maybe they were deployed when they fought whatever consumed their civilization. Is this why the door was smashed, because they were in a hurry? But it makes no sense…”

I spout some random bullshit, trying my best to sound intelligent. If they believe I’m the Evil Mastermind, I must play my part, don’t you agree?

“You think so too? As expected, similar minds think alike.”

“W-whaaa…?” I exclaim, surprised at the voice suddenly interrupting my thoughts.

When I turn around, I see Thunder Thighs observing me with excitement. Where did she pop up from? I didn’t see her approaching, nor did I hear her footsteps.

Oh, right! She doesn’t have legs! She has a snake tail! Of course, there won’t be footsteps, hahaha…!

“...You scared me. Umm… Do you need anything?”

“No, I just wanted to talk. What do you think? What do you expect to find here?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug my shoulders. “But it’s weird there were no golems in the pictures. Is it because they were a secret weapon? The ones that came after the disaster were the ones who built that room. Maybe they didn’t know about the golems…?”

My monologue gets interrupted by Balmy’s shouts.

“What is this, Koala?” She’s curiously pointing at a cylindrical-shaped rock. “Is it a giant worm? It looks disgusting… Ugh, my trauma comes back…”

That shape… it must be… “Nah, don’t worry. That’s just a finger.”

“A finger!?” She opens her eyes wide open. “But it’s bigger than me! …not the fairy me, but the actual me.”

“It seems the golems were quite big, hahaha!”

“Heee… I’m scared now. Can I ride your head as usual?”

As usual? USUAL!? What USUAL!? I never gave you permission. “No! Absolutely no!”

“Hee… This isn’t fair!” She pulls the fur on my head. “Eat this! Revenge! Kyaaaah!”

“Okay, I’ll leave you two and go take a look on my own.” Thunder Thighs smiles and turns around.

Nooooo! Don’t leave me alone with Balmy! I’m tired of working as a nanny!

“Sure, go ahead.” I wave her goodbye. I try to put on a serious expression, but my mouth twitches uncontrollably. “Good luck.”

“Good luck to you too!”

“Good luck, Thunder Thighs! Don’t get eaten by a golem. I know how it feels, and it’s awful… And it’s all your fault! Kyaaaah!”

“Stop it!”

Aaaaarhg! I’m going to explode at this rate! Out of rage, I mean.

 

---

 

After calming down Balmy and convincing Muribelle and Moo to stop fooling around, we scatter to inspect the golem forge.

I walk alone, observing my surroundings.

“This is so fascinating…”

In this single room, you can find everything that comes to mind when you imagine how a golem foundry would be. From the forges, to the assembly line, to the storage area. There is normal-sized equipment for things like bolts and screws, but what obviously catches your attention is the golem-sized equipment.

“Wow, look at the size of that smelting pot. I could swim in it.” And die a horrible death, too. One thing doesn’t deny the other.

Although the equipment is fascinating, what interests me the most is the story behind this place.

Everything is too chaotic.

Tools are strewn everywhere, the equipment is smashed, some of the columns lay shattered on the ground, the metal from the smelting pots has poured onto the ground and solidified… And this is without talking about the golem fragments you can find everywhere.

But weirdly enough, it doesn’t look like a battle took place. It’s more like… like the workers hurriedly left, running away.

As if something huge was moving randomly, smashing everything in its path, and they had to evacuate for safety reasons.

“I’m pretty sure that’s what happened here.” I nod to myself. “Calaban! Can you hear me? Do you want to spend more time here or do we leave?”

I wait for an answer, but I don’t hear any.

“...did he not hear me?”

“Koala?” Calaban’s voice sounds very far. “I think we can leave, but let me ask my teammates first.”

This place is huge. It takes a while for the sound to reach one end from the other. Understandably, I didn’t hear his reply immediately.

“Okay. Let’s meet near the entrance. Moo, Muribelle, Balmy! Go to the entrance!”

What are they doing? I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. I just hope they didn’t kill each other… or somehow got themselves killed.

I calmly walk to the entrance.

On the way, I notice the largest golem assembly place I’ve ever seen. Just the remnants of the structure to hold it in place while being built are bigger than a house.

“How ominous…” I shiver, imagining the worst.

Something has destroyed this place. Something huge. I don’t know the size of that something, so I can’t discard the possibility of it being this particular golem.

“Maybe the Calamities aren’t the worst in this labyrinth after all…”

When I reach the entrance, everyone is waiting for me.

“I’m the last one? Then, let’s quickly leave this place. It gives me shivers.”

Balmy looks at me with contempt and a grin on her face. “Why? Are you scared of some random metal parts?

Hah! Talks the one who was scared of a finger. She’s so brave now that she knows there’s no danger.

“Are you stupid?” I counter. “Didn’t you realize there are no battle signs in this place?” Everyone but Thunder Thighs looks at me with a dumbfounded face. They didn’t notice!? “Sigh… I expected this from Balmy, but not from the others…”

“Hey! Don’t s– Ouch!”

I flick her forehead to shut her up and start my explanation.

“Everywhere we’ve been so far, we could see battle signs. Explosions, claw marks, cracks in the rocks… but here, where everything is broken, there aren’t any. Just here. Don’t you understand? Don’t you find it weird? Whatever or whoever did this was so strong they didn’t even consider fighting it. They just ran away. Maybe the Calamities aren’t the only thing we need to be wary of.”

Gulping sounds fill the silence that follows my words.

Hahaha! This atmosphere is amazing. Now, it’s time to break it. I’ve enjoyed myself enough. Yeah, it was all a stratagem to put them on edge. Maybe now my teammates will behave.

*Clap, clap!*

I clap my hands to snap them out of their delusions. “What are you all doing? Let’s go! The third objective is waiting for us!”

 

“Let the pain and fear seep into you. Let them soak your body. Let them fill your soul. Only when you become one with despair will you achieve enlightenment.”

- Fragment of the ‘Dark Scriptures’. Forbidden texts for normal people, holy texts for some others.