The Mad Rat’s Lab

"Alright, kids, here we are.” I clap my hands to get their attention. “The dreaded tunnels, the place where most players’ lives, as well as the players themselves, get lost. Where dreams and hopes are forgotten.”

“Um… are you going to treat us as kids for the rest of the dungeon? We aren’t kids…”

“Well…“ I furrow my eyebrows in a thoughtful expression, acting as if I’m annoyed by Krut’s question. After a pause, I say in a stern tone. “Fine. Since you asked for this, I’ll stop acting like a guide. From now on, you’re on your own. I’ll follow after you and help you if I feel it’s required, but otherwise, you’re the ones making the decisions. I’ll only actively assist you during combat, to help you improve your skills. How about it? Huh, huh, huh!”

As I talk, Krut’s face turns to one of incredulity. Diq, on the other hand, looks afraid. The last one, Mhah, tries to make an indifferent face, but I can see his shining eyes, delighted at the chance to show off in front of me.

This is fun. Watching their expressions change as they realize the meaning of what I’m saying is amusing.

Ah, man. I was looking forward to this. The main reason I created the Green Gang was to help other players improve while boosting my reputation, and I’m going to do it, but this isn’t all. Asking me to stop treating them like kids was what I’ve been waiting for all along.

“Are you sure we can do it on our own? Players say awful things about this dungeon…” Asks Diq, his voice shaking slightly.

“You all read my guide, right?” The three of them nod. “Then it’ll be fine, huh, huh, huh!” Will it really be fine? Who knows, we’ll have to see. But I wouldn’t bet on it.

“Alright! We’ll do our best! Right, Mhah and Krut?”

“Yes!”

“Sure… Just don’t fall into a trap and die, Diq.”

“Ugh! Don’t treat me like a weakling just because you have the strongest champion. I’m strong too, just in a different way than you.”

The three kids continue their banter, entering the poorly illuminated tunnel. As usual, the light comes from nowhere in particular; ambient light, it’s called.

I leisurely follow after them, my arm lifted, and hands behind my head.

“Huh, huh, huh…” I mutter, low enough that they can’t hear me. “Yes, work for me, my minions… Do my job, explore everything inside this dungeon so that I don’t have to do it myself. Do everything you can so I can show off afterward.”

This is amazing!

Who could predict there would be a day I’d come to this dungeon without having to suffer at all? Leaving the difficult parts to the other players, using them as bait to catch my prey, and not having to worry about traps, ambushes, or the worst of them all: new stuff.

It’s almost like a dream come true!

How long it’s been? About twenty minutes at most, I believe, and I’ve already defeated the giant stone bear, the secret boss of the cave area. If we continue like this, I’m sure today I’ll be able to defeat a bunch more of the secret or dangerous monsters, like The Tunnels’ Nightmare or the Monster Train. The Minitaur Queen, too. Maybe, even the boss of the sealed area!

Can you imagine? Beating the unkillable monster? I believe nobody under level 15 has achieved it yet! I’ll be the first! And all this is thanks to the kids taking care of everything else!

“Aaah, my muscles are trembling in excitement… I’ll kill all the monsters in this damn dungeon today. Today... Today’s the day I’ll finally recover my lost orc pride! Huh, huh, huh!”

I kiss my biceps to try and calm down.

 

---

 

“Um… sir Orc, is that… t-the Nightmare? T-the mo-monster that inflicts f-f-fear…? H-how do w-w-we f-fight it…?”

I look ahead at Diq’s question. A tall wolf, dark as if absorbing all surrounding light, quickly catches my attention. Immediately after, taking advantage of being at the rear, I find the closest rock to hide behind. Once the forced look-at skill breaks, I immediately move away and get ready for the incoming howl.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes! We found it! The Tunnels’ Nightmare is here!

“S-sir Orc?”

“O-oh, yes. Khm!” I cough as I walk backward. “Umm… you should brace yourselves.”

“Brace ourselves?”

“Yes. To be more specific, prepare to be scattered. You’ll soon find yourselves alone, somewhere in the tunnels.” It’s hard to repress my smiling face. It’s all going according to the plan. They did bait The Tunnels’ Nightmare!

“But didn’t you say you’d save us!?”

“I did, but there’s nothing I can do about it, sorry. Good luck, Diq. I’ll go and look for you, so try to stay alive.”

“W-wait a moment! I didn’t sign up for this!”

Meanwhile, the other two kids decide to take action. “Krut, let’s strike first! We might be able to kill it before it howls.”

“Fine… we might as well try. If we’re lucky, we might save ourselves a lot of trouble…” I don’t think so. There’s almost no time before it howls.

“Diq, help us!”

“S-sure! I’m coming!”

The three start fighting The Tunnel’s Nightmare. Instead of bracing for the fear status effect, they throw all caution away and start combat.

I shake my head. When you know something bad is coming, the worst you can do is waste time and resources on combat.

If the fear effect works on them in the middle of combat, especially a long fear effect like the one that the monster applies, it’ll make them lose track of what’s going on. Suddenly losing control of your Champion when you’re in the middle of a fight brings quite a bit of confusion. If they’re not used to it, it’ll take them a long time to recover from the surprise.

Instead, the ideal action is to stay put and try to memorize the surroundings, as well as the path they take when the fear makes them move randomly; so they can come back once the fear effect ends.

I know what I’m talking about. It happened to me… quite a few times. I had to learn the hard way.

“They have so much to learn, huh, huh, huh!”

*Awooooooo!*

The deafening wolf’s howl fills the tunnel. From here, I can see the three of the kids stiffening, a signal that it has worked on them. Although not all of them, most of the support mobs show signs of being affected too. The fear effect of the howl didn’t reach me, thanks to moving away as soon as I spotted it.

Then, all the kids, as well as the affected support units, start running around in random directions.

“S-sir Orc! Save us!” Shouts Diq, running past me.

“Try to stay alive! And don’t wander around too much once the fear disappears; who knows if I’ll be able to help you if you do!” I shout.

“S-sure. Ok! I’ll wait for you, sir Orc!”

“I’ll come back on my own, sir Orc.” Krut declares proudly, striking his chest with a closed fist. Though he doesn’t sound too reliable, walking diagonally against a wall. He then steps into a hole and drops to the passage below. He’ll have to find another path to come here, something I don’t expect him to be able to do.

Mhah doesn’t reply. Is he trying to show off again? Did he not learn anything from the fight against the secret boss? I’m grateful to him because I wouldn’t have had a reason to fight it otherwise, but I’m still supposed to teach him. I must scold him when he does stupid things.

I wait until the three of them disappear from my vision. I grip my battleaxe with strength and point it at The Tunnels’ Nightmare. “Alright! It’s time for some action! Huh, huh, huh!”

It’s the first time I’ve got a shot at this. Until now either The Tunnels’ Nightmare got me by surprise, forcing me to run away, or I didn’t encounter it. But today, the ones who had to flee were the kids, not me.

I won’t waste this chance.

“Hyaaah!” I swing my axe, striking the disgusting eye in the monster’s stomach. “You never fight, always making me run away. Let’s see how strong you are!”

The monster, which until now had always remained still, ignoring me as I ran away, retaliates. It swings its massive black claws at me. They twist and extend freely as if the monster had no joints. I’ve only seen this on slimes, which can manipulate their pseudopods as they wish.

“Tsk!” I take a step back to avoid the attack. “You’re trickier than I expected. But I’ll win! Huh, huh, huh!”

I duck to avoid the monster’s claw, and quickly strike back with a sweeping slash. The sticky substance it throws sticks to the arm I used to cover my face. I ignore the damage I take from that substance and continue attacking.

This is it! The exhilaration produced by a difficult fight!

The wolf slashes with its claws. I strike back with my battleaxe. It’s hard to avoid the monster’s unpredictable attacks, so instead of wasting time evading, I strike back.

The monster’s HP doesn’t seem to fall at the speed it should, it must have the same Eternal Pain as a lot of monsters in this dungeon do. If I don’t kill him fast, it might use the howl again, I must find a way, somehow…

“Huh, huh, huh! Let’s see how you evade this– What!?” Suddenly, my Champion starts to run away from the monster, making me miss my attack. “Why am I affected by fear? The monster didn’t howl! Nooooooo, it can’t end like this!”

My epic victory! It’s slipping away from me!

I check the status screen. As expected, it shows I’m affected by Fear. But the time is shorter than usual. “Aha! So the howl was working upon something else, I knew it! But the fight is over… N-no, don’t panic, don’t panic. I can still do it! I can run back and finish it off!”

As I run, I make sure to memorize every turn I take. I hope I don’t fall into a hole like Krut did, or I won’t be able to go back.

Three seconds, two seconds… It seems like a few seconds isn’t very long, but it is. A few seconds of running at maximum speed in a random direction is enough to make anyone lose track of the path they took, or where they are. I dare anyone to say the opposite.

“Come on… Now!” As soon as the fear effect ends, I activate my ultimate skill. My skin turns red and my speed increases, allowing me to backtrack in a short time. “I must reach it in time before the monster leaves the place… Faster!”

I turn the last corner just in time to see the black monster going inside a tunnel on the left. “I almost missed it… But I didn’t! Now, dieeeeeeee!”

The monster’s HP is lower than when I left. But I don’t have any damage over time skills…

Ah! I know! I finally understand what’s going on! The skill that reduces the damage the monsters take doesn’t actually reduce the damage but instead delays it.

Everything makes sense now!

I can’t count the number of times nothing made sense in this dungeon, but this thing in particular was particularly bothersome. Until now, I’ve fought every monster in a do-or-die fashion, which made it difficult to perceive. I knew something was going on, like when the monsters died right before my axe hit them, but never actually understood how it worked. I thought it was a bug.

And no, I’ll never inspect the monsters after they’re dead because it takes away the fun of battle.

I only do it under extreme circumstances that require me to do it. Like when I inspected those Bombers, to see if I could kill them safely. The answer is no, they can’t be killed safely unless you use ranged attacks. They’re the bane of my existence.

Although they aren’t as annoying as the Goblimps. Fucking Goblimps, I wished they all disappeared once and for all.

My HP is taking a hit from the Frenzy skill, but it’s worth it. As long as I defeat it, nothing else matters.

“Huh, huh, huh! Is this all? Don’t you have more hidden tricks!?”

In a last-ditch effort, the monster starts to inhale air, getting ready for another howl. But before it can use the skill, I activate one of my skills to increase the damage of my next attack The Tunnels’ Nightmare HP reaches zero and it falls to the ground, dead.

“Huh, I… I did it. I… I did it! Finally, I killed this monster!” I make a victory pose by flexing my muscles. “I knew today was the day I could achieve everything! I knew it! Huh, huh, huh!” I laugh, standing alone next to the monster’s corpse for a while.

I still can’t believe I defeated my nemesis. Due to my bad luck, the fear effect always worked on me. It’s not that I couldn’t defeat it, but that I couldn’t fight it at all.

“Yes, yes, yes! Oh, fucking yes! I’m going to boast so much in the forums after this… Eat this, Evil Mastermind! I defeated the monster you created to make sure I never recovered my orc pride. Now, I’m this close to getting it back. Huh, huh, huh!”

It’s a dream come true! I can’t believe I achieved it! It’s… it’s amazing!

It takes a while for me to calm down. When I do, the first thing that comes to my mind, are my companions. “Oh, yeah… I was supposed to go and find the kids that got scattered everywhere…” I awkwardly scratch my head. “I don’t regret anything. I’ll do it a hundred times over if I could, but now, I should go searching for them.”

I should be responsible and do what I said I would do. But how am I supposed to find them in these labyrinthic tunnels?

“I can only hope for the best…” I shrug and start walking in the direction I last saw Diq when he was afflicted by the fear effect. “I’ll try to find him first. I might need his help against the Monster Train, if I do happen to encounter it.”

The problem with the Monster Train, like the Tunnels’ Nightmare, is that it can appear at any moment. But unlike the latter, it can move anywhere inside the dungeon except the entrance area. Maybe the laboratory areas too? I’m not sure. Anyway, the important part is that it’s harder to find. As for the danger they pose… Now that I’ve defeated The Tunnels’ Nightmare, I can safely proclaim that The Monster Train is may worse.

I have to deviate from my path to avoid an Eternal Resting Area.

“Did he continue moving after the fear effect ended? If so, who knows where he is right now…”

My thoughts are interrupted when I turn around a corner and find a monster right in front of me. It’s a dark wolf, standing on two legs, with a glowing orange eye in the stomach area.

I blink, not wanting to believe what I see. Just in case, I try to turn around, pretending nothing happened, but as expected, the game prevents me from looking in any direction other than the monster.

“Nooooooooooooooo! It can’t be, I just killed it! I’m sure of it.” I shout, staring incredulously at the monster in front of me. “I must be dreaming! Yes, this is the only possible option.”

*Awooooooo!*

I start running again, affected by Fear. Fuck this damn dungeon!

 

“So you read this guide and think you know everything you need to know, right? That everything will go smoothly once you dive into this damned dungeon, right?

WRONG! YOU’RE WRONG!

I can’t express how WRONG you are. There’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in this damn dungeon that stays the same for a long time. Expect things to change. That passage you knew was safe? Now has a deadly trap. That single, powerful monster? Now there are a few more of them. Those monsters were weak? Bad luck, not anymore!

Believe me when I say: YOU’LL. NEVER. KNOW. WHAT’S. TO. COME. If you take this into account, you MIGHT survive.

Good luck surviving in this DAMN DUNGEON.”

- Last words written in ‘How to Stay Sane in The Mad Rat’s Lab’. Some players blamed the author for discouraging players from going inside, while others praised him for the same fact. Regardless, the dungeon’s popularity never stopped growing.