Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

I wasn't surprised to discover that Matt Murdock lived in an apartment building similar to my own. It was just unfortunate that it was in what people considered a bad part of town. On the plus side, the rent was probably a lot cheaper and he was blind. No one with any kind of morals would have messed with him.

May had held my hand while we rode on the bus and kept hold of it as we rode the elevator up to the right floor. I had given her a smile occasionally and she smiled back each time. Our new understanding that it was okay to actually like each other, even though we already admitted that we loved each other, seemed to have made her completely relax around me.

She had even walked around in her underwear this morning while I made breakfast, which made me laugh, because she was being so outrageously bold. When I told her that, she smacked me good and laughed, too. It really was nice to be back to a comfortable relationship again, because the tension between us had been building for a while and I hadn't been sure how to diffuse it.

Who knew that making her admit I turned her on would have done it? I knew I sure didn't.

I knocked on the apartment door and Matt opened it up and smiled at us. “Matt! Old buddy, old pal, old chum! It's me, Ben Parker! Your new client! I see you're still blind! That sucks. Can I and my beautiful Aunt May come in?”

“Ben!” May gasped and slapped me upside the head.

“Ow!” I said and rubbed said spot, even though it didn't hurt.

Matt looked shocked for about three seconds, then he barked a laugh. “I'll rate that as an eight out of ten on the first introduction scale for originality, Mr. Parker.” He said and stepped back. “Come on in.”

“Thank you.” May said and dragged me inside. “You'll have to forgive my nephew. He thinks he's funny.”

“Hey, it's not like he doesn't know he's blind.” I said.

“You're not supposed to point it out.” May sighed.

“You're kidding, right? Only cool guys and blind people wear sunglasses all the time.” I said. “Unless you're a cool guy and blind. I'm not sure someone could pull off wearing two pairs of sunglasses at the same time, though.”

Matt smiled as he waved us forward and towards his kitchen table. “Please step into my office.”

“Joking aside, thank you for taking the time on a Sunday to meet with us.” I said and sat down and May sat beside me. “We're on the right side of the table at your two and three o'clock, Matt.”

Matt paused walking toward us and nodded. “Thank you for letting me know.”

“No problem.” I said and opened my backpack. “I brought some breakfast burritos if you would like some.”

Matt sat down across from us and looked surprised. “You brought breakfast to a business meeting.”

“I figured why not, since this is a breakfast meeting.” I corrected and opened the thermal bag. “I had to fight May off so she would only eat two of them to tide her over before coming here.”

“He didn't need to know that.” May said and gave me a pointed look.

“It lends credence to the evidence that they are delicious.” I said and took out the wax paper covered burritos. “Matt, they are one foot directly in front of you. It's a stack of wax paper rolls.”

Matt smiled and took one, looked a little surprised that it was still hot, and unwrapped it. “It does smell good.”

“I try.” I said and bit into one. “Oh, that's the stuff.”

May lost the pointed look and started eating one, too.

The three of us sat there and ate in silence, which let me look around the apartment. It was a nice one and everything was well spaced for a blind person to walk around safely.

“I think three is my limit.” Matt said and put the wax paper pieces to the side.

“I made a lot, just because we save so much money buying bulk and they are cheap and easy to make.” I said. Both May and I had eaten two each, besides the two we had eaten back home. “Would you like to keep the rest for later?”

Matt looked surprised. “That's generous of you.”

“Kind of. It's part of the bribe I want to tempt you with because of how much work I want you to do.” I admitted.

“Ben, you were supposed to be subtle about it.” May said.

“Why? It's not like he can't see through the gesture anyway.” I joked and May groaned.

Matt chuckled. “You've prepared a bunch of blind jokes, haven't you?”

“Only a few. May got angry when I tried some of them on her.” I said. “I mean, making a joke every second sentence isn't too much, right?”

“It is when you're trying to stay on someone's good side.” May said.

“And that's why I'm not doing it, because my aunt is brilliant and I always take her advice.” I said and pulled out several sheets of paper. “Shall we get to the reason for this visit?”

“You mentioned filing patents and trademarks.” Matt said.

“I've written out the main part of what I want to do.” I said and put the two sheets in front of him, side by side. “Go ahead and have a look at them.”

“Ben.” May said with a voice full of admonishment.

“I meant with his fingers.” I chuckled and tapped the top of the sheet on the left. “It starts here, standard paper size, one sided single pages... or leafs, if you want to be technical.”

Matt nodded and his fingers started feeling the bumps and spaces of the braille print. “You didn't have to go this far to get my attention, Mr. Parker.”

“Please call me Ben, because I'm hoping you'll agree to this and you and I will be exchanging calls about everything I want to do.”

Matt nodded again and his fingers ran over the first sheet that had my main ideas. When he went to the second sheet and read the list of names I wanted to trademark and possibly patent, his eyebrows rose higher and higher.

“Are you serious about all of this?” Matt asked when he reached the bottom of the page. It was a very long list of names.

“Completely. I want to own all of those names. May and I stopped at the library and asked about a braille making machine, just so I didn't have to tell you all of them and have you try to remember them all.” I said and Matt smiled. “If anyone wants to use those names in any capacity, they will have to pay me to do it... and yes, I'm aware of your rates and what it's going to cost.”

“You were right, Ben. This is going to be a lot of work.” Matt said and sounded happy about it.

“I had an idea about that, if you're willing to listen.” I said and he nodded. “I went through a list of lawyers looking for a good one to hire for this. A lot of them were high class and high priced, so most of them I discarded. I want to keep things quiet, you know?”

Matt nodded again and looked like he understood what I meant.

“I saw two names near the bottom of that list and thought they would be perfect. I had heard your name being mentioned during my commute downtown to work and knew you were the best pick of the two, just because of your unassuming nature and because you're blind and people tend to ignore you.”

“Ben!” May gasped.

“What? It's the truth. Blind people are given a huge leeway in everything, just because they're blind. It doesn't matter what their personality is like, either. They can be real assholes and people will forgive them for it, just because they are visually impaired.”

“Although I shouldn't, I can confirm that theory.” Matt said. He had been a bit of a terror right after the accident that had robbed him of his sight.

“I knew it.” I said, smugly. “Anyways, long story short, the other name I saw was Franklin Nelson.”

“M comes before N in the alphabet.” Matt said and nodded once more.

“It does and I thought that if one lawyer can get what I wanted done, maybe two could get it done twice as fast, because I want this done before Christmas day.” I said and Matt looked thoughtful. “Would you mind terribly if I contacted him as well? I know there are probably going to be reference books and things that won't be in braille and having someone else helping you get this done couldn't hurt.”

“Another set of hands would lessen the workload and speed things up.” Matt said. “Would it surprise you if I told you that I know Foggy?”

I chuckled. “The only thing that would surprise me is if you hopped up onto the table and did the Macarena. That's a hard dance to pull off, even with working eyes.”

Matt chuckled and May let out a long suffering sigh.

“I'll leave contacting Mr. Nelson to you.” I said and took out another sheet to place beside the others and tapped the top of it to show him where it was. “I also want to do this before Christmas, if possible.”

Matt quickly ran his fingers over the new sheet and his eyebrows rose again. “You're kidding.”

“After I have those names under my control, I'll need a company to keep track of them and to provide the licensing rights of the names to other companies.” I said and May looked surprised at the depth of my ideas. “Don't be surprised yet, May. There's a reason I wanted you here today.”

“Maybelle Parker will be the CEO and interim owner of Parker Incorporated, until Ben is of legal age and can assume control of the company.” Matt read from the sheet.

“BEN!” May gasped and looked shocked.

“Merry Christmas, May.” I said and leaned close to kiss her cheek.

“Ben, you... you are insane! I don't know the first thing about running a company!” May exclaimed.

“I know, which is why we're going to hire the law firm of Murdock And Nelson and keep them on retainer.” I said and it was Matt's turn to let out a gasp sound. “I was thinking three percent of the company's profits should keep you solvent for a while.”

“I think I have to agree with your aunt. You're insane to give part of your company away before it's even incorporated.” Matt said.

“Maybe.” I said and grinned. “Or it's a huge motivation to get this done as soon as possible, so the company can start licensing the names out to everything under the sun.”

“Oh, my god.” May whispered and looked stunned, because she understood what I meant.

“Who wouldn't buy Iron Man tires? Incredible Hulk brand Weight Gain Powder? The Mighty Thor's household cleaner? Or Captain America's Home Insurance?” I asked and now the both of them looked shocked. “I'll keep the merchandising and televisions rights separate, just so we can have something to diversify with, not to mention action figures, board games, video games, comic books, posters, and underwear.”

That last one made May give me a confused look. “Underwear?”

“Of course! Who wouldn't want to feel the cottony softness of Captain Marvel wrapped around their tender bits?”

May let out a groan and Matt's shocked look disappeared as he chuckled.

“I'm sorry, I couldn't resist that last joke. The setup was too good!” I said and that made May roll her eyes as she shook her head.

Matt ran his fingers across the papers once more and nodded. “Mr. Parker... Ben, I think you're insane to do it this way, because it's a deal that's too good for me to pass up.” He held a hand across the table for me. “You have yourself a lawyer and possible law firm for the foreseeable future.”

“Awesome!” I exclaimed and shook his hand before I took out an envelope and placed it into that hand. “This is the thousand dollars for the retainer and an extra two hundred for your time this morning.”

Matt looked surprised and opened it to quickly rifle through it with his fingertips to count it. “I'll contact Foggy right away and...”

“I'll need a couple of days to get his retainer. I can't cash my last paycheck from my construction job until tomorrow and my first paycheck from my job downtown won't be until the end of this week.”

Matt shook his head. “You don't have to worry about a second retainer for now. Once we get this going and get the contracts signed to incorporate like you want, Foggy and I can handle the licensing paperwork as well and we'll pad your bill appropriately.”

I chuckled and shook his hand again. “That's fair. Thanks, Matt.”

“No, Ben. Thank you.” Matt said and stood. “I'll walk you out.”

“Now I wish one of us was a blonde.” I said as he led us across the apartment.

“Why is that?” Matt asked and looked curious.

“So I could make a joke about the blind leading the blonde! Ha ha!”

“Oh, god.” May groaned loudly. “You're going to get it when we get home!”

Matt chuckled again. “I think I prefer the jokes when someone deals with me instead of the usual sombre attitude.”

“That's what I tried to explain to her. You're a good guy and would understand that I'm not making fun of you. There's a huge difference between someone laughing with you and someone laughing at you.”

“You are quite wise for someone so young.” Matt said.

“Ha ha! That's hilarious! I hit my head last month and can't remember anything about my life here before that.”

Matt stopped walking and his eyebrows rose again. “You're not joking.”

“Nope! Metal railing to the side of the noggin.” I said and tapped the spot. “I've been doing my best to build a new life for myself since then. There have been some hiccups and setbacks; but, I'm working through them.” I took his hand again and shook it. “Thanks again for accepting us as a client.”

“You're welcome.” Matt said and opened his door. “If you have any questions, don't hesitate to call. My answering machine is available all day and night.”

I laughed and took May's hand. “I'll remember that. Goodbye, Matt.”

“Goodbye, Ben. May.” Matt said and closed the door.

May didn't say anything until we were downstairs and waited for the bus. “Ben, do you realize what you're doing?”

“Not a clue.” I said and grinned at her.

“Ben...” May started to say.

“I'm joking, May. I know what I need to do and we have two of the most underrated lawyers in the city on our side now.”

“For three percent of your future company's profits.” May said.

“Says the CEO of said company.” I said and made my grin wider. “You do realize you get paid a ridiculous salary when things get going, right?”

“Wh-what?” May asked as the bus came to a stop in front of us.

I led her on and we sat in the back and out of the way, because it was a long ride back to our apartment. “I might put myself down as your assistant VP, just so I can get part of it myself.”

“Ben...” May started to say again.

“I promised you that we were going to be rich, May. My first try didn't work out so well and I'll fix that when I can. Despite that, I'm going to keep my promise.” I said and looked into her eyes. “You deserve nothing less.”

May put her arm around my shoulders and hugged me. “What am I going to do with you?”

I gave her another grin. “You know, you still haven't said no to being my girlfriend.”

May laughed and shook her head. “Just for that, no cuddling on the couch tonight.”

I chuckled. “You're just hurting yourself saying that. I'm a cuddling master.”

“No cooking?” May asked.

“Still hurting you.”

May opened her mouth and closed it, then she looked thoughtful and smiled. “No texting.”

“No!” I fake gasped. “No, please! I'll do anything! Please don't take that away from me!”

“All right.” May said. “Even though it's Sunday, you're prepping my bath for me instead.”

“Done!” I exclaimed. “I'll even rub your feet when I get back from Max's place.”

May nodded and we rode the bus back to the apartment. I had a date to prepare for and I would need to stop at a pharmacy for some condoms. My dry spell of no sex all week was about to end, hopefully spectacularly.

That reminded me I also needed to pick up a ball gag or something to muffle Max's screams.