Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

I didn't know where May had dredged up all of her extra energy from, because she was like a whirlwind as we went from shop to shop, grabbed different colored dress pants, socks, and boxers. She had seen the nice shirts that Pepper had bought for me and she approved, so she coordinated the suit coats to match and not clash.

Because of all the excessive exercising and training I was doing, I had increased my calorie and protein intake appropriately, so that explained my own energy reserves being full. I kept up with her and did my best to not laugh as she piled clothes into my hands and then took me to the change room to have me try everything on. She even had me do twirls to make the suit coats flair out.

Needless to say, May and the sales clerks at each shop had a great time outfitting me. At one point, I managed to convince her to try something on herself, in the guise of me buying it for her as a Christmas present, and I sat down and used my cell phone to call Matt Murdock's office and left a message on his answering machine.

It was at this point that I learned he was just a lawyer and hadn't started his own law firm with Foggy Nelson, thanks to the answering machine's greeting. I wasn't sure why, until I started thinking about the timeline. It wasn't until after the alien invasion that things in Hell's Kitchen started getting bad as the mobs and criminal elements took advantage of the chaos that the attack had caused.

Maybe I can accelerate Matt's future a little? I asked myself.

Handling a company's creation and patent acquisitions wasn't a one lawyer job and he would need the help, especially because he was blind and not all of the books and references he would need to check would be in braille. That made me think about looking into a braille making machine, just so I could write a few things out about my plans for him to read and show that I was serious about hiring him.

May came out of the change room and she looked radiant in a fancy blue sequined dress. “What do you think, Ben?”

“I just gained another reason to kick myself because you keep refusing to be my girlfriend.” I said and she blushed before she whacked me on the back of the head.

“Stop joking about that.” May said without any real anger in her voice. In fact, she looked pleased.

“Sorry, sorry.” I said and rubbed the spot as I smiled at her. “You look gorgeous, like always.”

May shook her head at me. “I shouldn't be asking you such loaded questions because you never give a proper answer.” She looked over at the sales clerk. “What do you think?”

“If I batted for the other team, I wouldn't hesitate to ask you to dance on New Year's Eve.” The woman said, happily.

“Ha! There, you see? Even straight women think you're gorgeous.” I said and raised my arms in victory as I hopped a little. “Justification feels awesome!”

May laughed and whacked me again. “Calm down or she's going to kick us out!”

That made the sales clerk laugh and she didn't kick us out. When May was checking out the things at the counter, I slipped the dress into the pile of clothing and the sales clerk gave me a knowing smile as she scanned it in and tucked it between two folded suit coats.

“Make sure you hang those up as soon as you get them home.” She advised us and we nodded.

I paid the fairly expensive bill without blinking and May opened her mouth, probably to comment that it was too much money to spend at once, then she closed her mouth and turned away. I accepted the change and put the receipt into my wallet. I would deliver it to HR personally and fill out the form for reimbursement.

We left there and stopped at another store to grab more workout clothes for myself, because I had told May I started spending part of my lunch time working out in their gym. That set off another little spree and she had a lot of fun giving me ridiculous colors to try on.

May even convinced me to try on a pair of bright green bicycle shorts and a tank top for her. I assumed because she wanted a good laugh, so I hopped up to the ceiling in the change room and did dozens of chin ups as I flexed my muscles as hard as I could to really make them pop, then I dropped to the floor and stepped out of the change room.

“How do I look?” I asked and did what was becoming my patented double arm curl to show off my biceps. I turned around and wiggled my butt at her, then I turned back around. “Is it me or what?”

Both May and the sales girl stood there with stunned looks on their faces. Their eyes were wide, their mouths hung open, and their breathing was a bit laboured.

At least she's not laughing. I thought with a smile and went back into the change room. I think I'll get these, just for the shock value.

I changed back into my normal clothes and stepped out of the change room. May was facing the other way and looked a little embarrassed and the sales girl was trying to look very busy several feet away as she packed and repacked the same stack of t-shirts several times.

“Ready to get checked out?” I asked and May nodded without looking at me.

We went to the cash register and the sales girl had a blush on her face as she rang my purchases through. I paid and her hand lingered a bit more than it had to as she passed me the change. I gave her a smile and put the change in my pocket before I picked up the bag to add it to the other bags we had.

“Ben, we should head home. It's getting late.” May said when we left the store.

“Sure.” I said and checked my watch. “We have time to watch a movie or something before bed, too.”

“No, I... I'm tired and...”

“May.” I said in a stern voice and she winced. “Look at me.”

May turned and looked at my face.

“Did what I just did make you feel uncomfortable?” I asked.

“No, I... it was just...”

“I didn't want you to laugh at me, so I pumped my arms up to distract you. I'm sorry if it had the wrong effect.”

May looked like she wanted to say something and was conflicted.

“You can tell me anything, May. No matter what it is.” I said.

May's face went through several emotions and settled on indignation. “I was turned on, Ben! Your rippling muscles, your strong arms, and those tight shorts were too much for me!” She said in a rush. “My own nephew turned me on! Are you happy now?!?”

“Yes.” I said and she caught her breath. “Turnabout is fair play, after all.”

“B-Ben...”

“I've lost count of how many erections you've given me and I won't ever do anything to make you uncomfortable, May. Being aroused is a normal body's function to stimuli, after all. You told me that.” I said and smirked at her. “You know, I was this close to playing with myself a bit to really show off how tight those clothes were.”

“BEN!” May gasped.

I burst out laughing and put down some of the bags to wave for a taxi. “You are so easy to tease!”

“Ben, you... you didn't actually think about doing that?” May asked, hesitatingly.

“No, I wouldn't embarrass you in front of other people like that.” I said as a taxi came to a stop on the street. I picked up the bags and walked over to it. “What happened with Doris that time was an accident.”

“At least it wasn't in public.” May whispered as we climbed into the cab.

“Going shopping with you is fun and I enjoy it a lot more than a guy should.” I said and told the driver the address to the apartment building. “I get to spend time with you, engage in playful banter with someone that plays right back, and I get to see your smile all the time. I win all over.”

May looked thoughtful for several moments before she spoke. “It... it's not right to...” She reduced her voice to a whisper. “...we shouldn't let each other turn the other on.”

I took her hand and held it. “Would you ever try to cross that line and do something?”

“No.” May whispered, barely above a breath. “You're the only family I have left. I don't want to ruin what we have by... by...”

“You don't have to say it.” I whispered back. “We both know what you mean, because if I wasn't your nephew, I think we both would have done something about it long before now.”

“B-Ben... god. Stop saying...”

“May, it's okay. We already declared our love for each other and nothing else needs to be done about it.” I said and leaned close to kiss her cheek. “You're my aunt and I'm your nephew. We're family and that's that.”

May sighed and nodded. “I really wish you would stop bringing it up.”

I gave her a cheeky grin. “When you come up with something else I can tease you with, let me know.”

May shook her head. “You don't need any more ammunition than you already have.”

I chuckled. “That's so true.” I said and we sat in silence for the rest of the ride home. I took the bags of clothes upstairs and did as the sales clerk said and hug everything up, even May's dress, hidden under a suit coat.

I changed for bed and went back downstairs and May was already there with her robe on. “Flannel again?” I asked and she opened her robe to show it off. I chuckled and sat down beside her and held my arm up for her.

May gave me a pointed look, then she sighed and cuddled into my side as she turned on the television.

“I love you too much to hurt you like that.” I said out of the blue.

May turned her head to look into my eyes. “I feel the same way. I don't want to lose you, too.”

I nodded, because I knew she was referring to Peter. She had raised him since he was a baby and looking at him as a sexual object was just too drastic of a change for her.

“I promise to stop teasing you.” I said and she looked surprised. “I know what I said before and I take it back. From now on, I'll show you the proper respect and I'll become someone you can be proud of.”

May gave me a smile and kissed my cheek. “I am already proud of you.”

My cell phone beeped and I took it out and smiled as I answered. “Mr. Murdock! It's so nice of you to call.”

“I'm sorry for calling so late. I just received your message and I wanted to confirm if it was a prank or not.” Matt said.

I chuckled. “No, it's not a prank. In fact, I'd like to come by for a visit tomorrow and we can discuss things in person, because I have a few other things that you might be interested in as well.”

“I am surprisingly free tomorrow morning.” Matt said. “Do you know where I live?”

“I can get there easily.” I said. “Would you mind if I brought my aunt with me? She's going to be involved as well.”

“That's not a problem. Would around eight be good for you?”

“It would. Thanks, Mr. Murdock.”

“Depending on how this goes, I'll be the one thanking you.” Matt said. “See you in the morning.”

“Goodnight.” I said and hung up.

“What was that all about?” May asked me and her eyes demanded an answer.

“I talked to someone at work and they mentioned hiring a lawyer to handle the patent filing and then I remembered your idea about the Iron Man name. I did some research and guess what? The only name I could find that had any kind of trademark or patent was Captain America and it expired over fifteen years ago.”

May gave me a concerned look. “You bought it, didn't you?”

“It was a steal at only $300 bucks, because it gave me all the rights as well.” I said with a grin. “The best part is that the government didn't patent War Machine or Iron Patriot and they've owned them for years.”

May shook her head. “They fell into the same trap as Iron Man.”

“You got it.” I said and hugged her close. “We have an appointment with Matt Murdock at eight in the morning at his place.”

“Is he interested in taking such an odd case as patent filing and trademarking?” May asked.

I barked a laugh. “He's interested enough to meet us on a Sunday morning. What do you think?”

“I think he wants the retainer and booking time as he works.” May responded.

“Bingo!” I said and kissed her cheek. “The only thing better than an eager lawyer is an eager lawyer that knows he's going to get paid upfront.”

May softly laughed and we cuddled together on the couch and watched television for the rest of the evening.

*

Matt Murdock couldn't believe his luck. He had a client call him up out of the blue and offer a thousand dollars as a retainer to file patents and trademarks, of all things. He wasn't specifically a patent lawyer; but, he did know the proper procedures for filing a patent pending document and then the actual patent, so the content is never revealed until after it's registered.

Even then, you could pay a little extra under the table and have it shunted into the archives and then it would cost money for others to retrieve it to look at it. Not a lot of people knew that certain clerks would do that, though.

The best part was that he would get paid a hundred dollars per form that he filled out and also a hundred and fifty dollars an hour. If he was lucky, his new client had a dozen or more patents and trademarks to file and that was really going to make his day... no, week... no, month.

Matt laughed softly and walked over to his bed and sat down. He was definitely in his lawyer mindset if he was already billing hours before he even met the client. The retainer alone was going to pay his rent for the month, for new sunglasses, and groceries.

Yes, things were definitely looking up for Matt Murdock, Blind Attorney At Law.

*

Val was finally released from the hospital and her parents were not happy at all with the hospital bill. Even with the best medical plan available, they still had to pay almost fifteen hundred dollars for the extras and incidentals that weren't covered. The only reason she knew how much it was, was because her mother wouldn't let her hear the end of how much her stupidity had cost them.

She climbed into bed, her face covered in tear streaks, and she took out her cell phone. She ignored the texts from her friends asking if she was okay and if she wanted visitors, or if she wanted to talk. No, she did not want to talk about it. No, she did not need to see the sympathy on their faces.

Val sighed as she scanned through them all and didn't see any from her savior. At least he understands to not bug me. She thought and opened a new text window. She didn't know why she was doing what she was doing, considering she just wanted to be left alone for a while.

She sent a quick text to let him know she was finally home and to see what was going on. She fully expected to wait until the morning for a response and was surprised when her phone beeped and a message appeared immediately.

'Hey, Val. Just cuddling on the couch with my aunt and watching tv. Heading to bed soon. You?' Ben sent.

'In bed now.' Val sent back.

'How are the parents?'

'Insufferable. They got the medical bill on the way out of the hospital.'

'Ouch. My short stay was just over two grand. How was yours?' Ben asked.

Val didn't even hesitate. 'Best med plan on the market and it was still close to fifteen hundred.'

'For how long you stayed there, that's not bad at all. I was there for only part of an afternoon.'

Oh, god. Val thought, because she was getting ribbed by her parents for her measly bill and she could only imagine what Ben was going through because of his. 'Ben, I'm so sorry.'

'For what? Not giving me a better medical plan? Ha ha!' Ben sent. 'We'll be upgrading soon, so don't worry about it.'

Val sighed and let it go. 'How's work?'

'Temporarily laid off from construction and got another job for the holidays.' Ben sent. 'Full time data entry clerk at an office downtown. It's great!'

'Wow.' Val sent back. 'You'll have to tell me how you stumbled into that later. It's getting late.'

'Kicking me to the curb already? You're so mean! (sad crying face)'

Val chuckled. 'You'd enjoy it if I did kick you. I have soft feet.'

'Ha ha! You do.' Ben sent. 'You're right, though. Bedtime. I've got an early morning and then I'm meeting Max after lunch.'

'Don't do anything I wouldn't do.' Val sent back before she realized what she had sent. She felt dread as the dots appeared to show typing and she wondered what he was going to say.

'I could make so many jokes about that, it's not funny. Like seriously. A humongous loads of jokes. Jokes the likes even Jokey Smurf wouldn't be able to laugh at and he laughs at everything.'

Val had to smile. 'Jokey Smurf? Really? How old are you?'

'I am old enough to know a whole lot of crap and a whole lot of nothing.' Ben sent and Val laughed. 'I better go. Aunt May is giving me the 'get your ass to bed' look.'

'Okay. It was nice talking to you.' Val typed. 'Goodnight, Ben.'

'Goodnight, Val.' Ben sent. 'Oh, before you go to sleep, look under your pillow. Bye!'

Val stared at her phone as Ben ended the text chat. What did he mean by that? She asked herself, even as she put the phone down and slid a hand under her pillow. Her fingers touched something made of paper and she grabbed it and pulled it out. It was an envelope that was surprisingly thick and she flipped it over to look at the front.

To be used when your parents demand you pay for the medical deductible. Val read in her head and she flipped the envelope back over and opened it. She caught her breath at the pile of money inside. It was a mix of crisp new bills and crumpled ones that had been straightened out. They were of all different denominations and she quickly counted it all out.

It came to two thousand dollars.

Ben had given her two thousand dollars.

Two THOUSAND dollars!

Tears came to Val's eyes as she clutched the money to her chest. She knew Ben didn't have a lot of money. She knew he struggled to buy groceries. She knew he wore the same clothes every few days because he didn't have a lot to chose from. She knew all these things and she knew she wouldn't try to give the money back, because he was right. Her parents were going to demand she pay them back.

I'll make this up to you, Ben. I really, really will. Val promised and laid down with the money still clutched in her hands. She eventually fell asleep with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.