Isekai Speedrun

In the anime, Thiefmaster learned about the existence of Starfish Mansion from Ivorythief and then infiltrated the mansion in disguise.

In this timeline, Ivorythief didn’t travel alone to the east coast and we’ve kept the location of the mansion secret from pretty much everyone who might talk too much. It’s practically impossible for Thiefmaster to have accurate information about Starfish Mansion’s location.

Still, if Thiefmaster is really coming to Löonois, random wind blasts from Winter Forest do not matter.

Maybe Kurdt’s prophetic dream wasn’t completely off. Or maybe this is one of those random coincidences that aren’t linked despite appearing so.

“How sure are we it was Thiefmaster? They didn’t see him up close, right?”
“As instructed, they observed from far away and sent a message on autopalanquin relay immediately. They say his appearance matched the drawings, except for the beard.” (Dancing Bow)

I had placed strict restrictions on all forward observers: they must treat Thiefmaster and other high-level enemies like giant monsters passing by. Hide & report. Only pro-hunter groups are allowed to attempt assassination, ambush or entrapment.

“Someone who looks exactly like Thiefmaster’s poster actually makes me suspect it’s not Thiefmaster... Or could he be in such a desperate situation that he doesn’t have time to shave or prepare disguises? Or does he not care anymore? Has he finally lost his mind completely? Second opinions, anyone?”

The members around the table were silent. This is how it usually was. They expected me to have all the answers and give direct orders.

“Bowster, you’ve already forwarded this info for bounty hunters and the twins?”
“Yes, Seer. I sent a letter to the Cursed Forest mailbox.” (Dancing Bow)
“Okay, maybe the twins get lucky this time and encounter him. Send a reminder to all observers on the east side and tell them to keep telescope distance. If it’s really him, the bounty hunters – wait a second, when was this report actually sent?”
“It arrived last night. Sent yesterday at midday.” (Dancing Bow)
“Okay. Pearl Town yesterday, memo sent via pony express, traveling on foot as expected… If he’s really coming this way, ceteris paribus, he’ll be at moorlands in three to four days, assuming he’s heading directly this way instead of zigzagging randomly to lose his tails...”

Thiefmaster has proven yet again that he’s the most unpredictable and annoying boss character in the game.

Well, this could well be another dummy tank to gauge our reaction to surprise enemy spawn.

I’m probably overthinking. Thiefmaster prefers direct confrontations – or at least that’s how he was in the OG timeline when his identity was still unknown.

In the anime, taking huge risks and taunting enemies by showing his back was the whole point of battles for that adrenaline junkie. Showing himself on enemy territory without any disguise is perilous enough that it should be expected from Thiefmaster.

Habitual sociopaths get addicted to the thrill of crime itself, or they simply don’t have enough self-awareness or social awareness to understand what they are doing. They get involved in massive frauds on a whim, run for government offices while on trial for rape or murder, audition for movie roles while on FBI’s most wanted list, and so on. They keep pushing the boundaries of acceptable behavior and keep raising the risk of getting caught higher and higher until they finally cross the line and destroy themselves – or end up failing upwards and becoming CEO’s, governors or presidents.

Thiefmaster was an extreme example of this self-destructive risk-taking behavior. Yet unlike most habitual criminals who kept taking stupid risks until they died around the time they reached adulthood, Thiefmaster had high base stats and pesky special skills that kept him alive from one risky click to the next. His continuous chain of lucky shots and narrow escapes had probably lead him to believe he was the ultimate S-level rogue who can do whatever he wants, no matter how great the risk, and get away with it.

When we exposed Thiefmaster’s true identity as count Renaud “Arnaud” Kizaha, the gentleman thief of Sylvania, his noble privileges were thrown away and his luxurious mansions were seized by the local governor. A large reward was offered for his capture by Sylvanian court, and even larger reward was offered by us for his head on a plate.

Yet despite the best efforts of the most skilled bounty hunters and hired assassins on Ur continent, Thiefmaster had managed to avoid his pursuers for two full years now.

On my suggestion, the twins had previously followed rumors and tracked Thiefmaster’s movements, but even they had become frustrated by misunderstandings, fakes and false alarms. Traveling weeks into a location where Thiefmaster was “absolutely 100% spotted in action” and catching nothing but a random low-level burglar who doesn’t even look like Thiefmaster eats motivation.

Yeah. The twins might just ignore this report. I can’t rely on them to take out every boss.

On the other hand, Thiefmaster so far hasn’t bothered Revolution Movement directly. I speculated to Crys that running away from bounty hunters was probably enough to satisfy his danger addiction. As long as he’s on the run and in constant danger, that lucky bastard is certainly enjoying his life to the fullest.

On the third hand, at this point there are very few open paths left for him. He’s been driven into a corner like a wild animal, so there’s no telling what he does next. The longer this hunt goes on, the more problematic and unpredictable he gets. If this level of danger becomes routine, he starts craving for even bigger doses of new thrills.

He might do something incredibly direct, dangerous and stupid.

Thiefmaster has been temporarily promoted to the position of new Big Bad. We need to pin him down and get rid of him before he starts making desperate moves on our backyard.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves and panic for nothing. It could be just another copycat disguised as Thiefmaster, or someone hired by the real Thiefmaster to impersonate him and throw us off his real trail. He might be heading to Corelands as we speak, who knows.”
“Is that a real possibility?” (Dancing Bow)
“That’s exactly the kind of move Thiefmaster would pull. For now, let’s move the purple-red Thiefmaster block from its previous semi-confirmed blip location at southern No-Lands to Pearl Town. And that’s all about that. Moving on: next report?”
“Yes, Seer. We received a report yesterday from Riverboat Gang at Mandarin River regarding a large group of Caliph’s followers that were spotted marching west, maybe heading to the previously destroyed fort at the eastern edge of Black Forest. They think these soldiers are remnants of the Caliphate fort at northern No-Lands.” (Dancing Bow)
“Yeah, that sounds like the kind of decision lokhagi Kailaritai would make... Send a second message to the Cursed Forest mailbox for the twins. If the soldiers are stupid enough to settle in the Black Forest fort, the twins can take care of them.”

When Caliph Tze and Suleiman died, war of succession was inevitable. The High Hats and warlords started collecting followers under their respective factions and tried to establish their own little kingdoms and dukedoms. The large carpets of the empires had unraveled and the loosened threads were hastily knitted into a patchworks of small city states. Lokhagi Kailaritai was one of these small frogs trying to desperately collect followers in his shallow well.

“Speaking of nobles, what’s the situation with count Lamprecht? Has he answered the previous letter?”
“No answer yet.” (Dancing Bow)
“I see. Still too proud to negotiate the terms of surrender. Tell the team to keep raiding his warehouses until he’s ready to talk. Send another reminder that count and countess Lamprecht are wanted alive, not dead. We don’t want another batch of accidents.”
“Yes, Seer.” (Dancing Bow)

I was getting pretty good at playing the boss of a semi-evil organization.

“What’s with so many reports from the east side today? Months go by without any action, and suddenly it’s straight from freezer to the frying pan. Anything happening on the west side?”
”Ah, regarding west side, there’s been a recent development on the list of wanted persons.” (Dancing Bow)
”Who did we find? Doki doki, don’t stretch the reveal.”
”It’s not a named person on the list, so it might be nothing... But, that is, you wanted to find a person who is skilled at... uh... sewing wounds and removing teeth.” (Dancing Bow)
”Yes?”
”Leopold Rope’s group returned from their mission night before, and they think they may have found one.” (Dancing Bow)
”They found a healer candidate?”

My quest for adding a skilled, trustworthy healer slash combat medic into our adventuring party has been on the wanted list for a long time now, but actual real applicants for the position have been rare and low in quality. My expectations and hopes have dropped.

The only noteworthy candidate so far has been the ship surgeon of captain Drue’s crew. And she’s not letting him go.

Healer is still high on my list of priorities. I can’t say for sure if the gamified self-repair factor present in the people of this world applies to my outsider body or not. I can’t test it without getting seriously sick or injured.

I can only count myself lucky that my old head wound hasn’t been acting funny and I haven’t had any major health problems. My hearing is still relatively fine and my teeth aren’t rotting away in the complete absence of dental regen and modern toothpaste formulas. At least avoiding sugary drinks is pretty easy in this world.

We need a talented individual who understands basic hygiene, anatomy and chemistry to start building a medical support team in case plan B is needed. We need doctors with syringes in a cleanrooms, not street dealers rolling dream sticks in a backyard sheds. We need general anesthesia and surgeons with scalpels, not butchers with a bottle of moonshine, a bonesaw and an amputation fetish.

We need a medlab, not a methlab.

Abolition of suffering in our lifetime through biotechnology!

Well, that project is pretty far-fetched in this world. Unless I find some rare magitech item left by Strangers.

Don’t mind me, just silently shouting my frustration due to the slow rate of technological progress...

At minimum, I want to avoid the nightmare scenario where I end up in such severe pain that I’m forced to take tainted Mu-Ur drugs to suppress the pain. I've been hoping to find some plant with effects similar to cannabis, but it seems that this world simply doesn’t have a convenient plant like that.

Some of the plants here which are used to make rope and clothing seem similar to hemp, but they are fibrous variants without psychoactive effects. Surely I would see more flower-smokers here if any these plants had such effects, but nope – it’s deviant’s poppy tears burning in smokers long pipes, or High Hats using some pseudo-opium in their private chambers while hiding the physical side effects, or poor mothers in slums blowing smoke at their babies faces to calm down their crying.

Still, Crys keeps collecting drug samples and experimenting with some trusted alchemist associates. And to keep myself ready for the worst, I keep exactly one black pill of purest Mu-Ur pseudo-opium hidden in my sleeve for an emergency situation, knowing full well that even one hit might turn me into an addict.

Continuous pain or opiate addiction? That’s a choice I might be forced to eventually make in this crapsack world if I get seriously wounded and the rudimentary drug alchemy program we are funding doesn’t go anywhere.

Drug use leads to addiction. Addiction leads to slavery. Slavery leads to suffering. User becomes dealer’s slave. And here at Revolution Movement we hate slavery.

”Seer Speedrun?” (Dancing Bow)
”Bowster, your priorities are messed up. Out of all these reports, finding a promising healer candidate should be the leading story, not Thiefmaster. Leopold’s still here? Take me to Leopold.”
“Yes, I believe Leopold would gladly report in person.” (Dancing Bow)