Here, Have a Cookie a Pokemon Fanfiction

“For the last time, Lea is not a fucking queen!” Emilie snarled.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Wayne come into the cafeteria in sleepwear and bunny slippers with a cup of coffee in hand. My eyes briefly met his as he took in the scene. He sighed, shook his head, and walked back out the door.

‘He thinks it’s too early to deal with this. I for one agree!’ Emilie shouted in my head.

Rude.

‘You’re just pissed someone’s getting treated like royalty and it isn’t you,’ Suzy jabbed.

“Emilie, I think you’re being far too rash, here.” I said before Emilie could throw an insult back Suzy’s way. “If Gawain wants to declare me the ruler of my own sovereign nation, who are we to stop him?” I asked, before eating the floating grape in front of me. “Fantastic selection, my loyal vassal. These are my fave.”

‘Your praise warms my pious heart, your excellency,’ Gawain said, his eyes glowing blue as the leaf he was controlling fanned cool air my way.

Wally was sitting across from me with his forehead in his hands, glaring down at a breakfast he’d barely touched.

“Why did I agree to those vows? You could have had a normal Pokémon, Wally. A little bit of patience and you would have been set,” he muttered.

May smiled sadly across the table before giving me a look. “The leaf fan is a bit much, Lea.”

“Fine, nix the fan. Killjoys...” I sighed as the leaf flew out the open window before eating another grape.

‘Is there anything else I can do for you, my liege?’ Gawain asked before being sucked back into his ball.

“Awww!” I complained. “Wally, I was having fun.”

“I was having a migraine. I need things to be sane for a bit, okay?” Wally begged.

May started laughing. “Wally, sanity checked out a long ass time ago when you agreed to travel with us again.”

I giggled before sighing as one of my balls opened on its own. Lucas stared, forlornly, at the muffin in front of me.

‘It’s not going to attack you, you know?’ Suzy said as she pecked at a piece of toast. ‘If you want it, eat the damn thing.’

‘I don’t know if you’ve noticed, my fine feathered friend, but I kind of lack a traditional digestive system,’ Lucas said. ‘At least I don’t think I have one. That one’s kind of hard to tell at a glance.’

“I... can he eat food?” I asked May, feeling lost. “Sergei never does. I don’t know if that’s a ghost thing, or a sentient piece of technology thing, or-”

“It... depends. Hang on,” May fished around in her bag for her Pokedex. “Let me see... kind of.”

‘Don’t have to tell me twice!’ Lucas shouted before inhaling the sacrificial baked good.

“Wait!” May shouted.

Lucas chewed a few times before his eyes widened and his face scrunched up. He spat out what remained, and I recoiled away from the smell. The muffin had decomposed, for lack of a better term. The bread had molded, the blueberries rotted, and the sugar on top had browned. What had once been a perfectly edible morning treat had been reduced to a half masticated, decayed, pile of trash.

‘Mistakes were made,’ Lucas muttered, a light green tint discolored the sides of his sheath. ‘That was foul. I thought I was going to die.’ Lucas glared down at the remains of the muffin. ‘Wait, I’m already dead. Oh, thank Arceus.’

“I tried to warn you. Preserved foods are your best bet, Lucas. Try to eat anything like that” May nodded towards the muffin. “And that’ll happen. Your body doesn’t process the food. It decomposes it. That’s how you get the energy from it.”

“So, a lot of salt and nothing that spoils easily,” I said, before sagging. “That means he can’t have any of my baked goods.”

Emilie perked up, and a pleased feeling passed through the bond.

“I’m sure there are a few recipes for cookies for ghost types somewhere out there. We’ll just have to look for them. There’s not much of a rush. Lucas doesn’t HAVE to eat anything. It’s just better for him if he has the occasional snack, as opposed to just subsisting off the ambient life energy in the area,” May explained with a cheery smile on her face.

Okay, that’s good at... wait what?

“I’m sorry, back up,” Wally muttered, suddenly looking very pale. “What exactly do you mean by life energy? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, May, but I don’t exactly have the healthiest of dispositions.” Wally waved his hand towards the black mask on his face.

May winced, and Lucas looked away.

‘I’m not-’

“It’s not something you would notice, Wally. It’s a very light pull. Most ghosts just pull on the life force of random plants and their trainers to persist in the world around them. The effects are minimal, because they’re unconsciously pulling from a lot of different sources. For example, we’ve all been around Sergei for weeks at this point. We’re all fine.” May smiled as her phone floated up at being summoned.

‘I’m slowly killing you,’ Sergei said. ‘But you’re liable to die of old age before it’d actually happen.’

Wally slowly backed up from the possessed phone before glaring at May.

“Really old age if Agatha in Kanto is anything to go by,” May confirmed.

'Whatever, none of this is important. You’re telling me I can’t eat good food anymore?’ Lucas looked pleadingly at May. ‘I remember liking food. Eating was a beloved past time. It was right up there with drinking and sleep-’

“Technically speaking, you don’t have to do that anymore either,” May said, cutting Lucas off.

‘I...’ Lucas trailed off before floating backwards. He stared down dejectedly at the table. ‘What can I do?’

Suzy patted May’s arm and pointed at Lucas. ‘Maybe cool it with the nerd speak for a bit. Sword boy isn’t looking too hot.’

Lucas started chuckling. ‘Ah, a fellow lover of puns. How lovely!’

Suzy sighed and looked away. ‘That was unintentional.’

May winced before staring apologetically at the ghost type. “Sorry, Lucas. I... kind of forgot you’re a bit new to life as a ghost Pokémon. It’ll get easier, I promise.”

‘It’ll be fine. I just... need to adapt. Shouldn’t be too hard, I don’t remember much of what I’m adapting from.’ Lucas grinned back at May.

“You sure you’re good?” I asked worriedly.

‘I’m sure. Cut it out with the depressing talk, alright. It makes life a fair sight duller than it needs to be. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m all about the sharpness.’ Lucas bounced around a bit before turning to me. ‘Please tell me we get to go on an adventure. I’ve been bored out of my mind in that ball the last few days.’

“I... uh, well,” I muttered nervously, glancing away from the excited ghost type.

‘This wasn’t what I had in mind.’ Lucas deadpanned as we left the gym.

“Yeah, well, we had to re-register for the gym challenge. Be glad you didn’t have to wait in the Rustboro line,” I commented.

May and Wally both shivered. Suzy just shot me an unimpressed look.

‘At least you weren’t being carted around like a plushie for most of the day,’ Suzy muttered.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t miss being carted around like that,” Emilie pointed out with a grin.

Suzy blushed and looked away. “Stay out of my head, princess. I’m a rough and tumble fighting type, I don’t do cud-”

May cut her off with a hug. “Aw, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. We’ll have to figure something out later, you’re too big to cart around anymore.”

Suzy sputtered a few times before glaring back at the now laughing Emilie. ‘May, you’re ruining my image.’

“You don’t have an image,” Emilie said.

I brought up my fist and lightly bumped her forehead. “Says the person that lives on my shoulder. I’m half convinced the reason you don’t want to evolve is that you’d have to walk places again, lazy bones.”

Emilie glared at me. “As if, I don’t think a Kirlia would have any issues hanging out up here. We don’t exactly get that much bigger, and we sure as fuck don’t gain much weight.”

Suzy stared intently at Emilie, focusing on the pouch around her waist. I looked towards her, and she looked away from my gaze as May finally let her out of the hug.

“Just remember that I’m always down for hugs,” May said. “Your feathers make it feel like I’m holding a pillow, actually. It’s quite warm and cozy.”

Suzy blushed, shifting in tone from orange to red as she glanced away from her trainer.

‘Go hug your girlfriend instead, would you?’ Suzy complained.

I grinned down at the bird before freezing as May snaked her arm around mine.

“An excellent idea, Suzy.” May grinned at me. “You’ve been working overtime translating recently. Thanks for that. It means a lot.”

“Don’t mention it,” I said as a smile pulled at my lips.

“This is the fun police, remember that we have to train,” Wally said, looking pained at the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"Ugh, fine. I’m here for the grind and nothing else, let’s go train...” I muttered.

May glared at Wally and pulled me closer, before sighing and nodding. “Three days isn’t a ton of time, you’re right.”

“Either of you know where a good training field is?” Wally asked. “I don’t really know the area.”

I froze. I did know, but...

“I’m looking it up on Sergei now,” May said, her face scrunched up as she quickly swiped through Sergei’s nav functions.

Okay, good. May didn’t want to go back there either.

“We’re going to be walking for a bit,” May said with a wince. “Honestly, they need more of these. Dewford’s been a pain in the ass to do anything battle related in. I know it’s a resort town, but there’s a gym here too. You could throw the trainers a few more bones.”

Wally looked over May’s shoulder.

“What are you talking about, there’s one right here. It’s like a ten-minute walk,” Wally commented.

“We’re not using that one.” May’s tone was clipped.

“Why- Oh.” Wally stopped. “Right, let’s get to walking. We've got a lot of ground to cover.” Wally picked up the pace as May and I looked at each other.

A small blush dusted my cheeks. “I’d probably be able to-”

“I wouldn’t.” May deadpanned.

Right.

“Wally, wait up.” I shouted as I awkwardly shuffled forward, untangling myself from my girlfriend as I went. “I also stepped in it.”

“Both of you stop being idiots, I'm the one with the map.” May shouted as she ran to keep pace, slapping us both upside the head as she took the lead.

Suzy snickered at us before falling in line beside her trainer.

We walked in silence for what felt like a very awkward eternity.

‘Say something, stupid.’ Emilie whispered in my mind.

‘Like what?’ I asked.

‘I dunno, but this is awkward. Break the tension.’

‘You’ve got a voice now, you do it,’ I said.

‘Fine!’ Emilie huffed.

“Out of idle curiosity, Wally, has Gawain sworn you into the knights of valor sworn to uphold the truth and justice of Lady Lea’s reign yet?” Emilie asked.

I ran my hand down my face and groaned. “I regret teaching you how to talk.” I preempted Wally’s reply. “I thought having a talking Pokémon would be cool. It isn’t. It’s pain, suffering, and humiliation all tied together in a small, white and green package.”

'Have you considered a career in theatre? I know overacting isn’t really a hard skill set to master, but you do it in a way that’s quite entertaining,’ Lucas said with a grin.

I groaned louder this time. “Why are all of my teammates sarcastic ass hats?” I asked.

“They take after their trainer,” Wally answered.

“That was rhetorical.” I shouted at him.

Wally chuckled, the lighthearted laugh sounding dark and warbled through the machinery.

“Alright then, answer her question, dork lord. How many new henchmen do I have? I need more for my plans of global conquest to come to fruition. Right now, it’s just May and all of our Pokémon. I need my sith apprentice if I’m going to conquer the galaxy,” I said, making my voice raspier the further in I went.

“You’d do Papa Palpatine proud, but I serve no master. Thank you, very much,” Wally said.

“And excuse me?” May asked, glaring at me. “Let’s get one thing straight, you’re my henchman, got it?”

“But I did the thing! By divine right, I’m the queen now. Bow down before my queenly queenliness,” I ordered.

‘Technically speaking, I phased through the stone. You were just on the other end when it happened,’ Lucas supplied. ‘Besides, I’m no Excaliber. I’m quite content to be called Lucas now. Thank you very much.’

“Why is everyone picking on me?” I moaned.

“There, there. Hon.” May patted me on the back consolingly. “It’s going to be okay. I treat my subordinates with love and care.”

Suzy nodded along zenly.

“You better,” I muttered sadly.

“Whipped.”

Both May and I shot Emilie a vicious glare.

“Right, that was supposed to be a mental barb. Not a vocal one,” Emilie muttered.

I noted the lack of an apology and glared at her.

“Continuing on.” Wally talked over all of us. “I talked Gawain down a bit from his vows as one of your knights of honor while you two were trying and failing to get Wayne and Jasmine to hang out with us.”

“Aww....” I whined.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Emilie replied. “That idiot has one mode, and it’s a renaissance cosplay. Lea pulling Lucas from a pedestal in a dark cave is something out of his wildest fantasies. No way he calmed down on that yet.”

An explosion of white light erupted from Wally’s belt.

‘My lady.’ It really wasn’t helping his or Wally’s case that the first thing he did once he got out was kneel to me and say that. ‘My knightly oath shall not be reduced to that of a cosplayer.’ Gawain paused. ‘Whatever that is. You said it as though it were an insult, so I’m assuming it’s bad!’

“Only as bad as your grandstanding and ham brained pledges of unending loyalty. You leaving Wally behind to join Lea’s nonexistent crusade or are you dragging him along for the ride.” Emilie teleported down from my shoulder and got right up in Gawain’s face.

‘My loyalty will always be to my liege lord first, above all others, and I will thank you to not question it again!’ Gawain shouted back. ‘Honestly, you’ve only gotten wilder and more unruly in the past days. A far cry from the regal lady you once were.’

“You want to say that again, ass hat, because I'll kick your ass so hard you won’t be able to tell which one of us is your liege lord, evolution or no!” Emilie shouted.

‘Why you...’

“Alright, that’s enough.” I shouted as I grabbed Emilie and pulled her back. “Time out, starting now, going until you calm the fuck down.” I held her tightly as she struggled to get out of my hold.

A single red line shot out and pulled Gawain back in. Emilie stopped struggling as much once Gawain disappeared.

“What’s gotten into you lately?” Wally muttered into the ball. “The incident with Wayne yesterday was bad enough, but now you’re picking fights with our friends Pokémon over stupid shit. You’re also in time out. Calm the hell down.” Wally wheezed a bit after he finished.

“Good riddance,” Emilie muttered.

“You want to go back in the ball, too?” I half yelled at her. “What the hell is up? You were nowhere NEAR this bad when we were together with them in Rustboro.”

“Yeah, well. He was slightly less obnoxious at that point,” Emilie replied.

My glare hardened and I started reaching for my belt.

“Alright, I’m sorry. I... didn’t handle that well.” she muttered.

“Understatement. Look, Wally’s our friend. Gawain’s his starter. They’re going to be with us for a good long while if I have anything to say about it. You don’t have to like it, but... find a way to coexist, please,” I ordered.

Emilie pouted but nodded.

‘I’ll... try.’ I smiled before looking over Wally’s way.

He was still staring at Gawain’s ball, silent. He turned my way and looked at both me and Emilie.

“You know... it suddenly occurs to me.” Wally started. “It feels like a lifetime ago, at this point, but before we charged into Petalburg Woods, you promised me something. Something I had forgotten about, honestly. I think now would be a good time to cash in on that. I think it’d be good for our Pokémon.”

“What did I- oh.” I grinned as the memory popped into my head. Guess we never got to it in Rustboro.

“Care for a battle?” Wally asked.

“Is a three on three fine?” I asked with a grin as we entered the clearing.

The ‘training field’ was a beach. It was just a damn beach with a few training dummies.

We could have stayed at the fucking center and had a better place to train! Ugh... It had been way too long since I got into a battle. I needed to get this aggression out of my system.

Wally frowned. “We can do a four on four, if you want. Maybe take your new member out for a spin?” Wally asked hopefully.

He had caught something else, then. Nice.

“I want to get some practice in with Lucas before I use him. My dex still returns an error when I try to scan him, and his response to us when we asked him what he can do is ‘I cut things.’ So...”

“Right, three on three it is,” Wally said with a grin.

‘Mind if I watch on the side, then?’ Lucas asked.

“Why would I mind? Having my own cheer section sounds great,” I said, grinning at the floating sword.

‘Right, you got this Wally. I believe in you,’ Lucas said with a grin.

I sagged and glared at my most recent capture.

‘I kid, I kid, calm the calamities that are your mammaries, woman. Geeze,’ Lucas said.

I started reaching down for his ball, when he faded down into the ground. I looked around for a second before seeing him pop up on the other side of the clearing.

‘Alright, Lea, kick his ass and make it look good. I want to take pride in being associated with you,’ Lucas shouted.

I sighed, before turning and wincing at May’s worried expression.

May looked between the two of us before glancing up at Emilie. “Are you sure this is a good idea after the blow up earlier?” May asked.

“I’m not going to turn into a murder hobo just because I’m annoyed at the idiot. I would have done that a long time ago if that was what sent me over the edge,” Emilie complained. She wilted away a bit at the glare I sent her way.

“I decided to do this because of the blow up.” Wally turned and smiled at me. “Maybe give our Pokémon a chance to blow off some steam.”

“It’s guy logic, May. I don’t really get it either. Everything’s always cool after they beat the crap out of each other.” I sighed before looking out across the beach. “I’ll be careful. Do you mind reffing for us?”

May nodded hesitantly. “Any other rules besides three on three and no maiming?” she asked, emphasizing the last two words in the sentence as she once again stared at my starter.

I thought for a moment before a grin pulled at my lips. “Want to make things interesting, Wally. No switches. Once you release your Pokémon, you’re locked in until he or she goes down, cage match style!” If he wanted a slug fest for Emilie and Gawain, this would be the best way to do it. Just good old fashioned, head empty, violence.

“Sounds good to me,” Wally confirmed.

May nodded once before smiling and pecking me on the cheek. She turned and started running to the side of the clearing. “Good luck,” she shouted behind her.

“Should I be a bit worried about the ref being biased?” Wally asked.

I grinned Mareepishly. “Maybe? Probably not though.” I walked to the side of the field that was closer and grinned cheekily at my opponent. “Well, get going, your spot is over there.”

“Nice, make the kid with breathing problems walk more. You truly are a sith lord,” Wally complained as he started walking.

“Give into your hatred, my apprentice,” I called after him with a giggle. “It’s the only way.”

Alright, so the safest bet would be to lead with Joern. He could set up rain and was either good or neutral against most of Wally’s known team. That was obvious though, and Wally wasn’t going to do something stupid like send Gwen or Gawain out into an unknown field. I also didn’t know who mon number four was, though I had an idea.

Wally was most likely to start with Nimue so he’d have an advantage against Joern, so the best bet for me would be...

“Trainers, poke balls at the ready,” May shouted. “Begin!”

Legends above she was taking this so seriously, that’s adorable. I released my favorite waterfowl at the call out.

Wally released a Pineco and my eyes lit up.

“Oh, you did manage to find them! How was the trip?” I asked happily.

The Pineco gave me a long-suffering look. ‘Moving through the forest was simple enough, but mobility once I escaped the dense tree line was... not fun,’ Pineco explained.

I nodded. “Yeah, I was a bit worried about that. Still, were you happy to spend time with Nimue again? I know you really missed her.”

Pinco visibly brightened. ‘I’m not used to the names yet, but yes. Nimue actually gave me mine. She really wanted to name me Ogier.’ Ogier froze and looked away bashfully. ‘He was one of her favorite knights, and-’

“Are we going to fight or not?” Emilie shouted impatiently.

‘Aye, I’d like to take out a bit of aggression on this bagworm. I’m still a bit miffed about how we left things in the forest,’ Apollo complained.

“Neither of you have any chill. At all,” I said, glaring at my team. “Fine, we’ll catch up later. Air cutter.” I raised my hand at the somewhat lazy command.

“String shot to evade,” Wally countered. “Didn’t realize you two had history.”

Ogier lifted into the air above the shot of sharpened air as his string latched onto a pine tree. Apollo had already fired a second shot without my command at the webbing that was pulling him up, and I laughed as Ogier was sent flying.

“Like shooting Magikarp in a barrel. Wing attack.”

Apollo’s wings glowed white as he flew after the Pineco.

“Iron Defense,” Wally ordered.

Holy, damn that’s an annoying trick. Apollo slammed into what may as well have been a steel ball. A rather colorful collection of words came out of Apollo’s mouth as Ogier slammed into the sand with a heavy thud.

“Now, Ogier. Spikes,” Wally ordered.

Yay, hazards. Those weren’t annoying at all.

‘Would you focus on the fight already!?’ Emilie shouted in my mind.

‘What? I’m having fun,’ I countered as Ogier started to spin. “Harass him with Air Cutter, Apollo. Don’t let him get up off the ground again either.”

Apollo’s eyes focused on the spinning insect and three different wind sickles shot forth as he beat his wings.

“Iron defense while you spin,” Wally called out.

I groaned as the attack slammed into Ogier to minimal effect. At least he winced, so he had to be feeling something.

“Is your plan with Ogier to just be as annoying as possible until they give up in frustration?” I asked.

Wally didn’t respond. He just stared at me. He was probably smiling smugly at me, I just couldn’t tell.

“Just keep up the assault, Apollo. He can’t keep this up forever, don’t get close again no matter how much you want to. I don’t want you getting blown up.”

Wally winced. “Was kind of hoping you forgot about that.”

Was he serious? That was the thing Pineco were notorious for doing! I’m not that dumb.

I don’t like that Emilie was whistling now.

“Keep up your defenses and put more spikes out when you can.”

I sighed as Ogier all but ignored Apollo's assault as layers upon layers of spikes covered the field. Small pieces of chitin flecked off with each hit, so I was at least getting somewhere, but this nightmare of a field was going to be hell to navigate for Joern and Emilie.

“Now, Faith Dive.” Wally shouted.

What the fuck was a Faith Dive?

Ogier launched a single String Shot and launched himself towards Apollo. He started to glow white.

“Aerial Ace away! Now!” I shouted.

Apollo disappeared and...

Nothing happened.

“Psyche!” Wally shouted. “One last round of spikes for the road, Ogier. I’m so sorry you got this match up.”

My eye twitched. Legends above, this was miserable. Who enjoyed fighting like this?

“Air Cutter, Water gun, I don’t care. Pelt the little guy and end this.”

Apollo complied and unleashed a veritable onslaught of long ranged frustration, his attacks slamming into Ogier and the ground around him as yet another layer of spikes was launched out into the field.

Ogier fell over and rotated to show that his eyes were closed. He didn’t move, and May raised her hand towards me.

“Lea wins the first round. Wally, please send out your next Pokémon.” May shout casted with a flourish of motion.

“Are you having fun, babe? You look like you’re having fun,” I said with a grin.

May winked at me and Suzy face palmed from her spot behind her trainer.

Wally returned his fallen knight and sighed. “Yeah, that’s about how I thought that would go. Ogier did his job, at least. You’re up, Gwen!”

Alright, sweet we get to see what Mari-

“Azumaril.” Rang out across the field like a war cry.

“You were busy, huh? Didn’t Azurill just evolve?” I asked.

Wally blushed. “Well, apparently, the Azurill line evolves really fast. I was surprised too, honestly. Aqua Jet.”

Before I could even process the fact that he snuck a command into our conversation, a torrent of water appeared under Gwen and shot her toward Apollo. Apollo zipped out of the way with a low hum, and I breathed a sigh of relief that my pirate had better reflexes than I did.

“Wally, I didn’t start you guys yet!” May shouted, fixing Wally with an annoyed glare.

He rubbed the back of his head and shrunk away. “Sor-"

“Steel Wing!” I shouted.

Apollo’s wings glowed silver as he swung down low, and he slammed them both into Gwen when he got close. The Azumaril winced slightly before glaring down at my Pokémon. Uh oh.

“Ugh, whatever. You’re both ruining this for me, do whatever you want,” May complained.

“Play Rough while it’s close.” Wally shouted, ignoring May’s disappointed mumblings.

“Aerial Ace, get behind her,” I countered.

Apollo disappeared as Gwen lashed out, hitting the ground and...

“Whoa!” I shouted as the entire ground shook.

Sand exploded from the spot Gwen had struck, catching Apollo as he tried to approach from behind and sending him back. He rolled a few times as he crashed into the ground, and Gwen pounced; delivering a glowing pink fist into Apollo’s side and sending him flying across the field.

He didn’t get back up.

May didn’t say anything and we both looked at her as I lifted up my Poke ball.

“Oh, now you want a ref,” May said with a huff before chuckling and lifting her hand towards Wally. “Winner, Gwen. Lea, please send out your next Pokémon!”

“What the hell was that!?” I shouted. “You been feeding Gwen steroids or something? How the hell did that adorable blue mouse do... THAT!” I waved my hand towards the crater.

“Huge Power. It’s a nasty ability, I have to admit. Gwen’s muscles are a bit more efficient in how they use what they have.”

'I'm sorry that you stood no chance.' Gwen said, flexing at me. If it wasn’t for the massive crater in the middle of the arena, I’d think it was the most adorable thing I’d ever seen.

‘Oi.’ Emilie cried out, sounding moderately offended.

I patted her on the head and gave her a cookie.

‘I will not be bribed.’ She still took the cookie though.

“Lea...” May was waving her hand as though to tell me to get on with it, and I blushed.

“Right. Joern. Let’s have some fun.” I said, happy to be going into this with an advantage.

That joy died as the entire battlefield came to life under Joern’s feet. Every single spike erupted from the sand and shot towards Joern the second his feet touched the ground. I stared, wide eyed, as dozens of tiny spiky balls dug into my grass type.

“Lom...” Joern grunted in pain before shaking, knocking most of the spikes off before taking a step towards the grinning water type. He winced backwards as he stepped on a few he had knocked off.

That was probably going to make dancing a no go, wasn’t it?

Emilie glared at me.

“Okay, maybe I should have paid more attention last round. In my defense I didn’t think they were going to do that much damage!” I frantically explained. “I just thought they were going to be like Roxanne’s Stealth Rock. Annoying, but not debilitating. I was wrong.”

“Begin!” May shouted.

“Aqua Jet to get in close, then Power Up Punch.” Wally ordered the second the word left May’s mouth.

Like hell was I going to let you make this monster even stronger.

“Water Pulse!” I shouted. A giant ring of water pushed out from Joern and slammed into the jet stream that was Gwen.

She powered through. How the hell did she power through that? I knew she was a water type too, but the force from that should have at least given her pause!

The Aqua Jet cut through the shockwave like a cake knife through a wedding cake and rushed forward towards Joern with violent intent.

Joern... two stepped out of the way?

‘Huh, Waltzing is useful in real life. Who’d have thought?’ Joern commented as he carefully stepped around the spikes and out of the way of Gwen’s attack.

Gwen huffed as her other fist glowed. She took another swing, and Joern sidestepped again.

Punch. Sidestep. Punch. Sidestep.

It took me a second, but I started to realize this was happening in a rhythm. A rhythm that Joern was encouraging, though I couldn’t help but notice the occasional wince as he misjudged and stepped on a spike.

Clouds started to form above us, and my eyes widened. Did my Pokémon just figure out how to Rain Dance defensively?

Fuck I should probably be doing something, shouldn’t I?

“Try and hit it with Leech Seed.” I ordered.

“Disengage!” Wally shouted, a bit too late.

Joern rotated his head and launched the seed as Gwen tried to backstep away. It slowly started to blossom, and vines wrapped themselves around the blue mouse. She winced as the vines got to work.

“Now Absorb.” I ordered, smiling widely at having finally set up shop. Now I just needed to stall the round out for a bit and-

“...Perish Song,” Wally ordered reluctantly.

Fuck you, Wally.

Joern glowed green as Gwen started to sing the most depressing song I've ever heard. The tones were discordant and hollow, and I winced as a dark aura overtook both Pokémon. Gwen went down immediately after finishing her song, and Joern looked fit as a fiddle.I idly wondered how long that would last.

“Sorry, I-”

“Send Gawain out.” I cut him off, slightly annoyed. This would be the second time someone’s used a kamikaze move against Joern. I supposed I should be flattered that people thought they needed to resort to these tactics, but it just annoyed me. Let my tank be tanky, dammit!

Wally recalled Gwen and tossed Gawain out before May could even announce the result.

‘Ah, a worthy opponent, our battle-’

“Water pulse!” I felt bad cutting off his quote, but I was on a timer. The attack radiated out before being swallowed up by a sand bank being pulled up in front of it.

“Pull the sand around you and turtle up, we just have to wait this out.” Sand shifted so that it formed a protective ball around Gawain.

“Get in close and slam Water Pulse at point blank range. Break his shield.”

Joern ran through the field as he brought his hands together. A single concentrated ball of water formed, and Joern followed my orders and brought his attack down on the sand orb. Water exploded against the shell. Joern maintained his assault and the sand started to collapse in on itself from the force.

“Teleport out.” Wally ordered. Aloud. Again. Could they... not just talk mentally. The dome caved fully as the psychic type supporting it disappeared. Gawain landed elegantly on his feet behind Joern...

Directly into a launched Leech Seed.

‘You psychics... always like to teleport... to our blind spot...’ Joern sounded woozy and was swaying from side to side. ‘It’s... predictable...’ Joern fell forward and passed out, his body glowing black as Perish Song took hold fully.

“Joern is unable to battle. Lea, send out your final Pokémon.” May shouted.

Emilie had already teleported into the arena before May had finished talking. Sand rose up from the ground around her as the spikes came to life. They dug harmlessly into the shell as she looked back at me nervously.

‘Lea. I...’ Emilie started before looking across the field at Gawain. ‘Would you mind if I tried to do this fight on my own?’

I leaned back, surprised.'I-'

‘This is just... something I feel like I need to do.’ Emilie muttered.

I hesitated.

‘I need to prove something to myself, alright?’ Emilie asked. ‘Please.’

I sighed before shooting my starter a smile. ‘Kick his ass,’ I said with a grin.

Relief and determination flooded through the bond as Emilie sagged in place. She focused her eyes forward at the challenge in front of us.

“Begin!” May shouted.

“Hmm... I’ve never used a flail before.” Emilie commented. “Let’s try something new!”

Emilie brought her hands together and the sand wall around condensed down into a spiky ball about a foot wide. Emilie shoved forward, and the attack sailed across the arena. Gawain eyes glowed blue and a wall of sand rose up between them. The attack slammed into the shield, deforming as it made contact.

“Good, now-”

Gawain raised both of his hands before Wally could finish, and the beach under Emilie came to life. Several tendrils of sand rose up from the ground as her feet sunk into the ground.

Emilie teleported out the second they moved inward. The writhing sands collapsing in clumps into a single mound of wet muck.

I wonder how good of a sandcastle we could make if we all worked together?

Emilie reappeared at the top of one of the palm trees, her eyes shining ethereally in the pouring rain as the downpour started to pool around her into a single, azure sphere.

“Gawain?” Wally asked, looking at his partner with a knitted brow.

Gawain made no sign of acknowledging his partner as he raised his arms even higher into the air, and the entire arena came to life.

‘Gawain’s acting on his own too?’ I asked.

Emilie didn’t respond as the water lifted her into the air. She dived down the tree and glided along the field, dragging a bit of sand up with her as she went, and staying ahead of the shifting dunes beneath her. She turned on a dime as walls rose up to block her path, ripped through tendrils that attempted to trip her up, and teleported both herself and the ball whenever she became surrounded.

My eyes widened as I very quickly imagined the possibilities, and I grinned down at my starter. I didn’t really understand how she was using the water to move, but it was a brilliant idea now that I was seeing it work in front of me.

Gawain’s fists clenched, and sand rose up from the ground, before condensing down into tightly packed balls of muck. He opened his hands, and the attacks launched forward, blistering across the battlefield. The balls broke apart halfway across the field, and Emilie’s blue orb easily beat the sand back.

“See, you’ve got to focus on the balls while they’re moving, otherwise they just do that,” Emilie chastised.

Seven more balls rose up from the ground.

“Fuck.” Emilie muttered as she urged her orb to move faster.

The spheres were a fair sight slower this time, but they were controlled, and more importantly, staying together as they moved through the air. Emilie was barely able to stay ahead of the orbs that were following her as two broke off from the pack, trying to flank her as she turned the corner at the edge of the makeshift sand arena.

She teleported as the attacks converged next to the sea.

I half wondered if her water orb could just glide across the ocean.

The giant wad of wet sand pulled itself apart and started to condense back into separate projectiles. More sand rose up from behind Gawain, and at first, I thought it was a second volley.

The sand slammed into Gawain, sending him forward into the writhing ground beneath him. Tendrils shot up, wrapping themselves around Gawain's arms and legs, pulling him into the ground. Gawain teleported back, causing all the sand he was currently controlling to fall to the ground.

“All of that extra power, just bursting from your fingertips...” Emilie glared across the field. “And you still can’t split your focus worth a damn!”

Gawain glared back as his eyes glowed blue. Sand wrapped itself around him before expanding out into a ball.

He was copying Emilie. Rude.

A small hole opened up towards the front of the sand orb, and his eyes focused on Emilie as the orb started to move.

Still completely silent.

I frowned. Beyond the opening line that I had cut off, Gawain hadn’t said anything the whole fight. That was... extremely out of character. Wally looked just as lost as I was at the display in front of him as Gawain chased Emilie down.

He attempted too, at least.

By all rights, Gawain should probably be moving faster than Emilie. He had evolved and could put more power into his control of the world around him, but he was actually falling behind, and even getting slower the longer things went. I had an epiphany.

“The sand is getting heavier...” I said in awe. It was picking up more and more water as the rain pelted down into the sphere of earth. Emilie was light, and the only thing that was moving her around was the water around her body.

Emilie brought her hand up in front of her as she moved, and a wall of sand came up directly in front of Gawain’s sphere. He slammed full force into what may as well have been a solid brick wall, and both constructs collapsed into each other before collapsing against the ground.

“Gawain!” Wally shouted.

Gawain appeared in front of Wally, leaning down and panting hard. Sweat dripped from his head as the vines dug deeper into his skin. I watched him wince before rising up to his full height.

‘Okay, as a heads up, we need to switch into seeded mons more. This feels incredible!’ Emilie gushed. ‘I don’t feel tired at all! No wonder Joern’s so hard to deal with.’

‘Wait, you’re actually getting something back? How the hell does that work?’ I asked.

Emilie shrugged. ‘Don’t know. Don’t care. This is lovely.’

“Gawain, I know you’re mad at Emilie, but I need you to listen to me! We aren’t going to win if we don’t work together.” Wally didn’t get a response back, at least, I assumed he didn’t.

‘He’s not,’ Emilie confirmed. ‘Gawain’s gone radio silent. I can’t get in his head, either.’ Emilie frowned before throwing herself forward. She glided across the field and pulled her fist back. An aquatic fist started to form just outside of the sphere.

Gawain threw his hand out, and a single column of sand shot up, slamming into Emilie’s aqua sphere with an audible crack and launching her backwards into the air.

“Emilie!” I shouted.

She caught herself in midair with a small platform of sand and quickly moved herself away from Gawain as she got her bearings back. Gawain shifted his gaze and Emilie stopped moving. Emilie stood, and it looked like she was shaking.

‘If he wants it, let him have it.’ I couldn’t help but suggest.

Emilie grinned at the thought, leaned back, and kicked off of the floating piece of earth, sending it towards Gawain as she did so. Gawain stopped it just a few inches away from his face.

“Teleport!” Wally shouted, and Gawain finally listened and disappeared as another patch of earth shot towards Gawain from his blind spot.

‘Behi-’ I didn’t even need to give the warning. Emilie had already turned and launched another wall of sand behind her. Gawain hit the ground and tumbled a few times, wet sand caking to his body as he moved.

“Didn’t learn the first time, huh?” Emilie taunted with a grin.

I waited with bated breath as the battlefield stilled.

“Gawa-” May stopped mid announcement as a hand rose from the ground and wrapped itself around Emilie.

‘TELEPORT NOW!’ I don’t know if shouting in your mind actually translated all that well, but I'd seen more than enough anime to know all the different ways this could go wrong.

Emilie disappeared and the sand fell harmlessly to the ground as Gawain pulled himself out from under the dirt, his eyes regaining focus as he looked around him.

‘I...’ That was about as far as he got before another pillar shot forward and slammed into his back. He shot forward and rolled a few times before coming to rest, completely still.

“Gawain is unable to battle!” May shouted with confidence this time and waved her hand my way. “The winner is my fabulous girlfriend, Lea!”