Here, Have a Cookie a Pokemon Fanfiction

If this was going to become the standard for our sleeping arrangements, then sheets were going to very quickly become not a necessity. My skin felt hot as I groggily opened my eyes and stared down at May, wincing as the morning sun bared down on my eyes.

We needed more rain. The sun being out all the time was driving me mad.

My sudden shift was enough to cause May to stir, as she groaned and turned away from me, and I sighed as I whipped my legs around and sat up at the edge of the bed.

“We don’t HAVE to get up, now,” May said, her voice still sleepy. “I was just moving around a bit.”

“I’m pretty sure the Alakazam Wayne and Jasmine booked for us gets here around noon, so I think we do, considering it’s-” I looked over at the clock and winced. “A little after ten. Considering we both need to take a shower, change, eat breakfast, say goodbye to people-”

“I get it, I get it. We don’t have time to snuggle.” May’s voice sounded whiny, and I felt the bed shift a bit as she got up. “I’m still annoyed that we got photo bombed by our families last night. How did they even know where we were staying?”

I blushed and looked away. “I might have shot Eve a status update text while I was doing laundry with Wally,” I admitted. “I might have also been really excited about the date we had last night.”

May giggled.

“So naturally, she told my parents, and we ended up adding another photo to the scrapbook Mom will pull out at some point.” May didn’t sound anywhere as annoyed as her words would imply. She quickly came into view in front of me and offered me a hand. I reached my hand out, winced when I realized I didn’t have my gloves on, pulled it back, and grabbed them off the nightstand.

May frowned.

“I know you said you don’t care, I just... don’t like looking at them,” I explained.

May sighed.

“I really had fun last night.” I was really hoping she’d go for the subject change as I grabbed her hand and pulled myself up.

She pulled me into an embrace, and I almost knocked the both of us over.

“I had a lot of fun too,” May whispered into my ear.

I shivered a bit before she pulled back, smiled, and sprinted into the bathroom.

“First dibs!”

And I just got played. Dammit all.

“Fine, just don’t take all the hot water,” I shouted. I looked around our room and sighed. I suppose I could pack, now. Probably the only way stuff would get put away in any kind of semblance of order. A weight appeared on my shoulder that I instinctively corrected for.

“So... how was your night?” Emilie asked in a teasing tone of voice, lifting her eyebrows up and down.

I tilted my head in confusion.

“You were there for most of it, how do you think it went?” I asked.

Emilie briefly tilted her head, before nodding and smiling at me. “I just wanted to get your opinion. I thought it went well.”

There was more to this than I was getting from this conversation. I knew there was.

“I think it went wonderful,” I said, a small smile pulling at my lips. “Thank you for your special effects in the glade. They really set the mood quite nicely. I’m surprised you and Suzy actually worked together on something though.” I smiled at my starter, who suddenly looked incredibly uncomfortable.

“The hot head has the occasional good idea, alright?” Emilie said.

I smiled at her. “Was that a compliment I heard just now?”

Emilie glared at me. “I guess I should just be happy you’re in a good mood and deal with the teasing,” Emilie said, sounding incredibly depressed.

I smiled as I reached out for a stack of folded up clothes that moved just out of reach.

“That would be boring, though,” Emilie said with a smirk.

“Fine, you and Suzy are heated enemies that sometimes complement each other, work really well together, and have a lot more in common than they’re willing to admit, happy now?” I asked as another pile of clothes moved across the table. “Dammit Emilie, let me pack.”

“I have nothing in common with that damn chicken. Take that back right now.” Emilie glared at me.

“What is it that Gawain would say here? Me thinks the lady doth protest too much? Admit that you might be on friendly terms with the damn bird already.”

The shirt I was trying to grab unfolded itself and threw itself at my face.

“Oh, real mature. We’re going to be late for the teleport if you keep this up.”

Emilie glared at me for a second longer without doing anything before sighing and lifting her arms into the air. The clothes neatly refolded themselves before they started floating.

“Open the damn backpack, you meanie,” Emilie huffed, a pout forming on her face.

“What are you, twelve?” I asked.

“Yes!” Emilie shouted.

“Oh, uh... huh.” I looked down at my bag and started undoing the zipper.

Emilie neatly layered my clothes in the primary section of my bag, and I smiled as they all rested where they were supposed to go without issue. It looked nicer than when I did it.

“So, when’s your birthday, out of curiosity?” I asked.

Emilie looked at me, her brow arched at the new line of questions.

“Most Pokémon don’t make that big of a deal about stuff like that. We don’t really use a calendar,” Emilie explained.

I frowned.

“Mom said I was born as the leaves just start to turn, and the sunlight begins to fade.”

“So early fall,” I muttered. “Want to pick a day?”

Emilie leaned back.

“I thought it’d be a nice thing to celebrate, alright. You’ve loved-”

“Yes.” Emile cut me off as a smile pulled at her lips. “So early fall would be sometime in September, going by human standards, right?”

“Do you just want to claim the first?” I asked, smiling as Emilie’s head bobbed up and down so fast that I thought it was going to fall off.

“Sound’s good.” I don’t think it was possible for Emilie to smile any wider.

“Good, I’m glad,” I said, grabbing a Pecha Cookie before sealing up my bag. I passed it to Emilie who greedily inhaled the offering. “I didn’t know you were so young.”

“Oi, don’t compare me to human standards. I’m far more mentally developed than a twelve-year-old human child, thank you very much.” Emilie crossed her arms in front of her and pouted.

I patted her on the head.

“I will destroy you,” she muttered plaintively.

“And so much more mature, too,” I said.

“More so than you, at least, and way more than the Ralts on 102,” Emilie argued. “Honestly don’t know why I bothered visiting sometimes. I could barely hold a conversation with half of them.”

“At least you had Gawain,” I said with a consoling smile.

Emilie shivered.

“Don’t remind me about that moron. Ugh, we have to travel with that idiot again.” Emilie glared out the door. “Any chance we could sneak off to Dewford and leave him here?”

“Emilie, I want to hang out with Wally. I missed him,” I said.

Emilie looked at me with a quirked eyebrow.

“What do you mean? We’re taking Wally with us. We need to get him away from the hedge knight before he corrupts him further.” Emilie nodded along to herself like this was the most rational line of thought in the world.

“Uh huh. You want to share why you’re being extra moody about Gawain. You were getting better about this when Wally left the first time.”

Emilie blushed and looked away. “It’s-” Emilie stopped mid-sentence before gritting her teeth. “Stupid fucking fairy brain. I think he evolved too soon, okay,” Emilie growled out the words in frustration.

“Really?” I asked.

“Kirlia get a big boost in power, but that was never the idiot’s weak point.” Admitting this looked like it caused Emilie physical pain. “He’s never had a good handle on the fine points of our powers.”

“Emilie, I had you juggle rocks early on to get you started,” I said.

Emilie glared at me.

“Yes, and I juggled a few dozen of them by the end of the day. I also watched your head, maintained a multiway psychic dialogue, and teleported while doing it.” Emilie smirked at my widening eyes. “The idiot is doing good to talk to people while he lifts stuff in the air. To say nothing of the fact that the fairy half of his brain is probably driving him crazy, now-”

“It’s been a bit, I’m sure he’s improved,” I argued. “Besides, the big guy won’t have to worry about that last bit when he evolves again.”

“Lucky bastard.” It was whispered so softly that I barely heard it.

“Is... that why you don’t want to evolve?” I asked, glancing down at my starter.

Emilie bit her lip before sighing. “I am worried about that. I don’t want to have more blow ups like I had with May.”

She didn’t actually answer the question, so that’s probably a no.

“Look, can we change the subject,” Emilie said. Her glare locked me in place.

“I’m guessing you picked that thought up?” I asked.

Emilie sighed. “You’re getting better at picking out what I say and what I mean. It’s annoying.”

“I just want...” I trailed off, sighing. Emilie probably knew what I wanted already. She still didn’t feel like sharing.

“I trust you,” Emilie said.

“Then why-”

“It’s because I need to figure out stuff on my own first, okay,” Emilie said, looking away.

I opened my mouth, before sighing and nodding once. “I’ll trust you too, then. Just... know that you can talk to me, okay,” I urged. “I want-”

“Bathroom’s free,” May said from the doorway.

Emilie grinned up at me and I sighed before turning to see May in her travel ware. I smiled.

We were finally getting back on the road.

“Push most of your speech today,” Emilie said before I could reply. “I want you to practice a lot before we get to what I want to show you tonight.”

I nodded, before grinning over at May. ‘Thank you, please tell me you left me some hot water,’ I begged.

May laughed. “Of course, I always do.”

I groaned as I walked past her. Lovely.

Breakfast was bland and tasteless after the joys I had experienced on our cruise. I had glimpsed the upper echelons of fine cuisine and was finding it difficult to adapt. I suppose I should just be happy it was better than the hospital food, but that felt hollow. Anything was better than that slop.

Wally stood tall and strong to my left. He hadn’t coughed, wheezed or choked once as the mouthpiece receded upwards so he could eat. I wanted to know what his uncle did for a living, because this was an impressive bit of engineering for something that got thrown together in less than a week.

“We good to go, then?” May asked, carefully looking at the clock as she tapped her foot.

“Would you calm down?” Wally asked. “We have plenty of time. Alakazam isn’t picking you up till noon.” Wally froze for a moment. “That reminds me, here.” He passed May a Poke Ball. “Let him out once you get there. He’ll swing back and pick me up.”

'I’m still mad that you get to skip going back through the forest again,’ I complained.

“I’m more annoyed that it’s payment per person and not per teleport,” May said. “I’m still kind of annoyed that Wayne's paying for us. He didn’t have to do that.”

I laughed.

“Just remember how this feels when you insist on buying me crap,” I said.

May glared at me. “That’s different. You’re my girlfriend, I’m supposed to spoil you. How else am I going to clear my meal debt.” May’s eyes burned with determination, and worry started to creep into my soul.

Great, I gave her a complex.

“Regardless, we need to leave enough time to deal with family before we leave,” I said.

“What do you mean deal with?” Eve said from behind me.

I almost jumped out of my skin as she grabbed me and pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

“Lea, I’m hurt. We’re in the same city and as soon as you get out of the hospital, you spend all your free time with your new girlfriend.”

Yeah, not buying this routine, sis.

“Tauros-”

Eve hugged me even tighter, cutting off both my reply and my air supply.

“It’s okay. I get it. It’s not cool to hang out with your big sis anymore, huh? You went off on your journey and made all these friends and you left your poor older sister behind.”

That was the fakest sniffle I’ve ever heard in my life.

“I call and text you on Sergei more than May does her own parents. On her phone,” I complained, taking a deep breath of air as Eve eased up on the death grip. I put some distance between us once she let go completely. “Fucking hell, woman, you’re going to put me back in the hospital.”

Eve chuckled. “Yeah, well. You deserved it. You couldn’t hang out one more day?” she asked, looking genuinely depressed.

Dammit, now I felt bad.

“We aren’t the ones paying for our trip back. Some friends we made on the cruise are covering the bill for us,” I said.

Eve pouted, before sighing.

“I suppose I can forgive you. To be honest, I really should be getting back. Wesly has been manning the store for the last few days. I imagine Norman’s Slaking are driving him crazy,” Eve said. “Text me when you make it to Dewford, alright?”

I nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, you worry too much. We’ll walk with you to the teleporter.” I stood up and May and Wally quickly fell in line behind me.

‘You stopped pushing your words,’ Emilie complained, a frown etched into her face.

I groaned.

‘I’m sorry. Eve surprised me and I forgot,’ I said, sending my thoughts Emilie’s way without her help.

‘Surprise her real quick,’ Emilie suggested.

I grinned as I thought of a prank.

‘Hey Eve?’ I asked as we walked. ‘Want to see a magic trick?’

“Huh?” Eve looked my way. “What do you mean magic trick?” she asked.

“I didn’t say anything,” I said innocently.

Eve glared at me.

“May, Wally, did you hear anything?” I asked.

They both shook their heads, and Eve frowned.

“I... okay.” We went back to walking in silence.

‘You’re a terrible person,’ Emilie said.

‘Eeeevveee,’ I said again. Emilie’s reproach didn’t fool me for a second, I saw the smile on her face.

“What?” she asked. I feigned confusion. “Stop screwing around.”

“She didn’t say anything, Eve.” Thank you for going along with this May.

“You’re all trying to make me think I lost my marbles, aren’t you? Well, tough shit, the ship left the harbor on that one a long ass time ago, so quit it!” Eve said with a glare.

“She didn’t say anything, Eve, honest,” Emilie said. “Fairies can’t lie.”

Eve’s glare turned into a look of fear, and I decided that this was enough fun for me.

‘I can, however, think it. Really loudly.’ Eve’s eyes became dinner plates as I pushed that thought out to everyone. ‘Tada!’

“How in the, oh, right, psychic starter. Funny. Real funny,” Eve glared at us as we all started laughing.

“Actually, this is all Lea,” Emilie said.

Eve froze.

“Cool, huh? We’ve been working on it a lot,” I said proudly.

“My sister has psychic powers,” Eve whispered. “Maybe I should check myself into the psyche ward for a bit. I’ve clearly lost whatever marbles I had left.”

“Now I see where Lea gets it,” Wally said.

‘What the hell is that supposed to mean.’ My thought echoed in my ears, and I realized that Eve said the exact same thing in time with me.

Wally raised both of his hands in front of him and backed away slowly. “Nothing,” he said quickly.

“Whatever,” Eve muttered, before turning the corner.

“He means you’re both drama queens,” Caroline said as we entered the foyer.

I looked around the room and frowned. Norman was nowhere to be seen.

“I was starting to think you got lost,” Caroline muttered.

“The gremlins were being mean to me.” Eve pouted as she finished.

“How old are you again?” Caroline asked.

“Fuck you,” Eve said.

Both May and I froze as we carefully watched Caroline... Laugh?

“You’ll have to take that up with Norman first, dear.” Holy shit, Eve gave Caroline the baker’s brain rot. Score!

“That takes all the fun out of it though,” Eve said, pouting again. “Where is he, anyway?”

Caroline sighed.

“Gym emergency that couldn’t wait, unfortunately. He wishes you all the best, though, and he’s sorry that he can’t see you off,” Caroline smiled at us with closed eyes and a charming disposition.

I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Er... actually, before we do that.” May cut into the conversation, looking thoroughly weirded out. “Mom, do you have any of your Pokémon with you?”

Wait, Caroline had Pokémon?

“I’ve got Winston with me. Cassius and Star are both at the bakery though.”

Eve whipped around and looked oddly at Caroline. “Wait, those are yours?” Eve asked. “I thought they were Norman’s.”

Caroline laughed. “Honey, Norman’s doing good to get his lazy morons to do anything unless the opponent looks skilled. Mine are far more well behaved,” Caroline said with a grin.

Imagining what she did to make them behave sent a shiver down my spine.

“Why, did you need something, hon?” Caroline asked, looking eagerly at her daughter.

“At some point during the chaos, a Pokémon decided one of Lea’s Poke Balls looked cozy,” May explained. “Whatever it was didn’t show up in the registry when she scanned it with her Pokedex.”

“Ah, got it. We can go outside for this,” Caroline said.

I shot May a look.

‘I thought we were just going to do this when we got to Dewford?’ I asked.

Caroline looked at me with wide eyes and a dropped mouth.

“This is safer. Trust me. Mom can handle whatever you ‘caught’ if it’s anything less than friendly,” May said, smiling up at her mom. “My girlfriend has super powers. Cool, huh?”

“I... uh.” The poised matriarch of the Maple family, the picture of grace and elegance, brought up short by psychic parlor tricks.

Yesterday was the best day ever, this one was a close second though.

“Yes, my sister’s a telepath. Can we hurry this up? I want to get home,” Eve said, pointing to a watch that didn’t exist on her wrist.

Caroline sighed before leading the charge to the center’s training ground. “She’s your boss now, Caroline. Don’t say anything.”

Caroline dug into her purse and pulled out an oddly designed ball. I didn’t really recognize the pattern, but I imagined this was more potent than the average ball when it came to captures. Once we cleared the posts and made it to the miniature arena the center kept, a massive white light enveloped the area and shaped into something positively massive.

“Snor.”

To him, it was probably a simple greeting, but to us, it felt like a roar as the hulking mass of Pokémon looked down at us in greeting. I had seen larger Pokémon before. Onix had this thing beat in size by a mile. But this felt different. His size was backed up by a presence that I couldn’t quite quantify.

“Did you and Norman bond over a love of lazy Normal types?” Wally asked.

‘Wally, this thing could turn you into a pancake without sitting on you. Maybe don’t piss him off,’ I said.

Caroline chuckled. “Something like that,” she said.

“Snor!” Snorlax complained, sounding angry.

“Yes, yes. I know. You were napping. You’re always napping. You can help me for a few minutes. I’ll get you a few donuts from the bakery if you do.” Snorlax perked right up at hearing that, his glare being replaced by a look of hunger, before falling back and sitting down.

The entire training field shook. Caroline turned and looked at me.

“Well, let’s see him, then.” she said with a smile.

I quickly scrambled to grab the ball from my backpack. I looked at the giant Snorlax then down at my poke ball. I flipped the unlock switch.

The ball burst open on its own.

The same red sword I had freed from its sealed home floated harmlessly in midair before slamming itself into the ground, burying the tip of the blade in the earth below. Its single red eye stared back at me, and for a single moment, it felt like I was back in the cave, preparing to pull it out of the ground. The eye shifted in color from red to black, and the spell was broken as his body started to change.

It’s tassel moved on its own, floating in front of its body as something began to manifest. It looked like an ornate sheathe, but I leaned back as the pattern started to form. Two eyes opened and a wail sounded out through the clearing as a mouth opened.

‘Ohhhh, one thousand yearssss’ A new voice I had never heard before echoed out inside my skull.

The reverb gave me a slight headache as I pushed the new thoughts out to everyone else in the clearing. May held my arm in a vice grip.

‘Will give you such a crick in the neck.’ And just like that, the voice changed.

Gone was the overwhelming sense of dread and spectral echo. In its place was the voice of a tired old man. May’s grip didn’t relax, and Winston glared down at the sword.

“If he breaks out into song, I’m not translating,” Emilie said, her tone of voice flat as she took in our new teammate.

‘You uh, don’t have a neck,’ I cautiously pointed out.

The sheath whipped around and looked at his blade before turning back around and smiling at me.

‘It would appear that you are right. Thanks for that, I feel much better!’ the sheath said.

I massaged the bridge of my nose as he started to laugh, and the sounds echoed in the clearing. Through it all, though, I actually managed to hear a single word.

“Honedge,” I said aloud.

Emilie frowned at me, and I blushed.

‘That’s what you are, right?’ I asked.

‘Huh, I think so. To be completely honest, I don’t really know. It sounds right,’ Honedge said as he bounced around a bit.

‘How do you not know what you are?’ I asked.

Honedge moved up and down in what I think was a shrug.

“Honedege, the phantom blade.” I heard a mechanical voice say behind me.

I turned to see May had her dex out. Apparently, hers had the low down on our new friend, because of course it did. Me having an older model was really starting to chafe.

“This Pokémon forms when the soul of the blade’s wielder persists. The eye contains the spirit of his fallen master.” May looked up from her dex and stared at the ghost Pokémon.

“It’s significantly more common in Galar and Kalos, for somewhat obvious reasons,” May said, her eyes narrowed. “What’s the first thing you remember?”

‘What I remember?’ The sword put quite a bit of emphasis on the I in that statement.

“Who else would we be talking about?” Wally asked, looking at the sword with crossed arms.

‘Well, I seem to have two sets of memories right now. The first thing I remember is Lea pulling me out of the stone. Thank you for that, by the way, I think you helped me come into being by doing that,’ Honedge said.

“And for the other set of memories?” Eve asked, her gaze never leaving the bright red blade.

‘Hmm... I think it’s Lea flushing the toilet and looking really pleased with herself. She was really small,’ Honedge replied.

My entire face blushed bright red as May looked at me oddly.

“What did he say? You stopped translating half way through that,” May complained.

Emilie was currently dying. She leaned forward and clutched my shirt desperately as she violently shook, peals of laughter coming out of her mouth so quickly that I’m not entirely sure how she’s still breathing.

“Nobody ever needs to know!” I shouted, completely mortified beyond reason. “How the hell do you remember that? Why do you remember that? Nobody else should remember that but me and Eve!”

‘Your whole life flashed before my eyes,’ Honedge explained. ‘It was quite jarring, honestly,’ Honedge said.

May and Wally still both looked confused, but my eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as Eve had her aha moment.

“Oh, he remembered you finishing your potty training,” Eve said loudly, a fond expression on her face. “You were so proud of yourself, it was so adorable.”

May and Wally both froze and looked at me for a second before they joined Emilie in laughing at me. I glared hatefully at both of them as my face burned.

“Oh, that’s quite the memory, Lea. You would’ve been what, two? Three maybe?” Caroline asked. “May didn’t get it down until she turned three. She always seemed to have an issue with staying put on the-”

“STOP!” May screamed. Any and all laughter dissipated in an instant as she glared at her mother.

I smiled vindictively at my girlfriend.

“It only seems fair, May. Besides, I’m your mother, it’s my job to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend,” Caroline said, a poised grin gracing her lips as she stared at the ghost type. “So just to confirm, Lea had a hold of you for a while, right?”

Honedge nodded.

Caroline lifted up Winston’s ball and recalled the hulking titan. “He’s fine.”

Emilie took a deep breath as she finally managed to get a hold of herself. She tilted her head at Caroline.

“How on earth are you so sure of that? This idiot is hyper sus, and you’re fine recalling the Snorlax because Lea was able to grab him?” Emilie said.

‘Oy, I’d like to point out that I caught myself. Do you really think I’m going to cause trouble?’ Honedge said. ‘I would’ve just cut and run if I didn’t want to deal with you lot.’

“That was two different sword puns in two sentences. I already hate your sense of humor,” Emilie said in a dead tone of voice.

‘I had you dying a couple of minutes ago. Lea’s memory actually goes back much further, honestly. It’s rather impressive. I just picked the thing that looked the funniest,’ Honedge explained.

Emilie’s eyes narrowed as I turned to glare at my new capture.

“Regardless, my statement stands. We found you in a giant chamber that was sealed by the void, locked behind massive stone doors in a hidden chamber built into a mountain,” Emilie deadpanned. “Excuse me for being a little suspicious, considering the only reason we found you in the first place was that a pair of psychic psychopaths wanted to use you for their own ends. Ends that you seemed decently happy to help them achieve in the cave!” Emilie’s voice got louder the more she talked.

‘Well, when you put it like that, it does paint me in a rather dim light. Though light usually goes right through me, so it’s usually always dim,’ Honedge said.

“Stop joking around and explain yourself!” Emilie snarled.

‘I was barely cognizant of the world around me when she was swinging me around. All the memories in her head around that time were a jumbled up mess, and it made it really hard to differentiate friend from foe,’ Honedge complained. ‘The only thing I really knew was that the girl was in danger, and she needed help. I don’t even know how I did what I did, I just knew you were attacking us.’ Honedge looked down to the ground and frowned. ‘When the lass stopped mid swing, I knew who the real enemies were. I acted according to my wielder’s will, nothing more and nothing less. That is the duty of a blade.’

“And that’s why I said he was fine. May might’ve needed a Pokedex for this one, but I’ve seen these things before. They don’t like to be touched. At all,” Caroline explained. “The fact that Lea was able to grab the hilt and not be affected... It’s a sign of trust, only gifted to those the Honedge deem worthy.”

I gazed upon the blade in shock. Honedge looked down at my scrutiny.

‘Why?’ I asked.

‘Your memories. I saw your whole life play out before me. It was a brief moment, but it felt like far longer.’ Honedge looked up at me and smiled. ‘You’re a good person.’ He looked away. ‘I’d like to join your team. If you’ll have me, that is. I know I probably don’t invoke the most pleasant of memories, but I’m a riot at parties, have a lovely singing voice, and can even juggle.’

I turned to look at my friends, and they were all smiling at my new capture. Emilie still had narrowed eyes.

‘Please?’ His tone was pleading now. ‘I want to explore this bright new world, and I’d love to do it with you.’

Guilt gnawed at me as I stared into his eyes. A few bad jokes wouldn’t kill me, and I’d be dealing with my issues even if he wasn’t with us.

Who was I to turn him down?

‘It’d be my pleasure,’ I said.

Honedge smiled wide. ‘In that case, I think I’d like to choose my name, if you don’t mind. I promise you’ll approve, but the ability to choose... it’s something I seem to value quite highly,’ Honedge explained.

‘Of course,’ I agreed.

‘In that case,’ Honedge said with a grin. ‘You can call me Lucas.’