Emmy And Me

After workout that Saturday, Kim and Stacey asked me if I wanted to go for coffee.

“Sure!” I replied. “Coffee is my one weakness.”

“What, the only one?” Stacey asked, laughing.

“Yeah, pretty much. Well, and kryptonite,” I replied, laughing along with her as we walked out of the gym. I was in a good mood, because every day seemed to bring Emmy back a little closer to me.

Outside in the parking lot I had to laugh again when I saw the bumper sticker on the back of Kim’s pale green VW Beetle. It said, “Pirate girl, looking for booty.”

“Like that, huh?” asked Stacey, her voice a bit sharp.

“Well, sure. It’s funny,” I replied.

“Yeah, I guess it is, but I still wish she’d get rid of it,” grumbled Stacey as I climbed into the back seat.

“Oh, baby- you know yours is the only booty for me,” Kim said as she leaned over to the passenger seat and kissed Stacey on the lips. I have to admit, the sight shocked me. I mean, I hadn’t had any idea they were gay, much less a couple. This whole gaydar thing just wasn’t working for me at all. It’s not as if it bothered me, seeing them kiss like that. How could I complain? I mean, I kiss girls, too. Still, it was a surprise.

When we got our coffee and took a table at Starbucks both Kim and Stacey looked at each other, waiting for the other to talk.

“So, Leah, we weren’t sure, but after last few days, we got to thinking that you probably were family after all,” Kim said, somewhat awkwardly, and Stacey nodded.

“Um, ‘family’?” I asked, unsure of what they were getting at.

“Uh, you know. Um, on our team,” Stacey added.

“Well, sure I’m on your team. We just got done with a workout, didn’t we? I mean, it sure seemed to me that we were on the same team the other night against U Dub.” I had an idea of what they were getting at, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for them.

They both looked at me for a moment, unsure what to say next, when Stacey broke out in a laugh. “Jeeze, Leah. You had me going there for a minute.” Kim laughed, too, figuring out I was pulling their legs.

I smirked, pleased with myself. Once they settled down I said “I’d never heard that term ‘family’ before. I mean, I figured out what you meant, but…”

“Really?” Kim asked. “How long have you been out? Like, I knew that term from the time I was, I don’t know, ten maybe?”

“Yeah, but you grew up in San Francisco, babe. You were a little baby dyke from way back,” Stacey said.

“Emmy and me, we were outed right after Christmas,” I explained. “Neither of us had ever even thought about other girls like that until we hooked up. We’re, I don’t know, just sort of new at this whole thing, I guess.”

“Um, let me get this straight. Emmy is the girl that’s been coming to watch the workouts, right?” Stacey asked, puzzled. I noticed that she’d avoided any mention of Emmy’s unusual looks, for which I was grateful.

“Yeah.”

“So who was the hottie that came with you back at the camp this summer? The one with the brown hair?”

“It’s a long story,” I sighed.

“If you don’t want to...” said Kim.

“No, it’s fine. The short version is that Emmy and I fell in love a year ago,” I explained. “She was new to my school and we spent a lot of time together, and I just sort of realized I was attracted to her. I’d never been attracted to girls before, so it was a weird feeling,” I said, thinking back. “She stayed over at my house one weekend and we started cuddling, then kissing, and one thing led to another. Thinking about it afterwards, I recognized that I loved her more than I’d ever loved my old boyfriend, and just thought it was all about Emmy. Then, right after spring break, her parents took her back to France and I thought I was never gonna see her ever again. For months I was completely screwed up emotionally, and one of my friends was there, helping me cope. Finally I just sort of gave up, and decided it was time to move on.”

My eyes felt uncomfortably moist, so I took a sip of coffee to calm myself down. “When I finally opened my eyes I realized that my friend, Stephanie, was open to much more than just being friends. In fact, she just plain told me she had a crush on me. It’s funny,” I chuckled, thinking about it. “She never had thought of herself as gay, either. So we hooked up, and things were O.K. but then when fall term started we just kind of argued a lot, and it seemed like we wanted different things.”

“So, um, Emmy was gay? I mean, before you met her? When she came to your school?” Stacey asked, for clarification.

“No, I don’t really think so,” I answered, thinking about it. “She’d led a really sheltered life and hadn’t ever even had a date before, but I think she was more geared towards guys when we first met. In fact, she briefly dated one of the football players before we…”

“So- getting back on track. You and- what was her name? Stephanie, right? Were fighting, and the long distance thing wasn’t working,” Kim interrupted, clearly wanting to hear the rest of the story.

“Uh, yeah. So we had a big argument-”

“What about?” Stacey asked.

“It’s stupid, really, but she didn’t want to tell her parents that she was seeing another girl. And I wanted a relationship like I’d had with Emmy, where we didn’t have to hide anything. On top of that, well…” I said, not sure how to continue.

Exasperated, Kim said “So you had a big argument about being in or out, I can understand that. It’s tough for some people. But get back to your story. And you,” she said, turning to Stacey, “Quit interrupting.”

Stacey stuck her tongue out at Kim, making me chuckle. “So, anyway, I was thinking that me and Steph were done, and was feeling bad about it, but kinda relieved, too, if that makes sense.” They both nodded that they understood, so I continued.

“Then one day I spotted Emmy walking to class. We’d planned on going to Stanford together, so in some ways it wasn’t too much of a surprise to see her here. But she hadn’t called me, sent me a single email or anything while she was gone, so I had no idea she was here.”

“So she was happy to see you?” Asked Stacey.

“Well, no, not at first. She told me she’d come back to Fallbrook and seen me with Stephanie, and thought that I didn’t love her anymore. I had a hard time convincing her that it was always about her, and Steph only happened because I thought she was gone forever.”

“So you’re back together now?” Kim asked.

“Well, I hope so. It’s been pretty rough the last few days, but I’m not going to let her slip away again,” I said, and I knew it was true. I was going to do anything I had to, to make things work with Emmy and me. Anything.

“Wow. That’s some story, all right,” said Stacey. Leaning back in her chair. “So, you’re saying that both Emmy and Stephanie were straight before you hooked up?”

“Um, yeah, I guess so,” I agreed.

Turning to Kim, Stacey said “She definitely gets a toaster!” making Kim laugh.

Seeing the puzzled look on my face, Kim said “Don’t worry about it.”

We finished our coffee, talking about various things. I asked if any of the other girls on the team were gay, and confessed that I had no idea who was and who wasn’t.

“You know what?” Stacey said. “It doesn’t matter. Nobody cares. The only reason we,” she said, pointing to herself and Kim, “keep it under wraps around the team is because we don’t want our relationship to affect-”

“Or be affected by,” interrupted Kim.

“-Or be affected by the team. That’s all. Off-court, we’re out and proud, and that’s how it should be. Don’t worry if you can’t tell who’s family and who’s not.”