Dungeon Champions

Chapter 19: Massie’s Emporium

Stepping from the Fae Lodgings cabin and into Massie’s Emporium was like leaving your house to walk directly into a modern—albeit magical—supermarket. It was also packed.

There were dozens of people around, walking through myriad aisles filled with goods. Everyone was accompanied by a blue-skinned goblin wearing a fantastic business suit. They seemed to be personal shoppers, pointing out items their clients might like and helping locate things on the floor-to-ceiling displays.

My companions seemed in awe. Everyone was wide eyed, looking in every direction and pointing different elements out. Best of all the reactions was probably Skullie; his skull swiveled on his spine like he was a child seeing an arcade for the first time.

Whatever we’d all expected walking through the doorway, this wasn’t it.

Dumbfounded, we walked up to a small counter located directly in the center of the entrance. There was a small button in the center of the counter that read “Push for Service.”

I pushed the button.

Pop!

A magical portal opened with an audible sound and a blue-skinned goblin stepped out of it. He was a man, about three and a half feet tall, with large, bushy eyebrows and a shock of black hair that was slicked back like he was an aging car salesman. His sharp, tapered ears flicked up as he regarded us.

He tugged the lapels of his dark blue sports jacket and cleared his throat. “Greetings, and welcome to Massie’s Emporium. My name is Basbro. Can I help you find anything?”

I looked the goblin over, a bit taken aback. Not only did Basbro have a European accent, but the little goblin’s diction was crisp and precise.

Was this even a goblin at all?

A notification on my Tablet saved me from making a social faux pas. Interestingly, when it appeared, the filigree and color were dimmer than usual. My inherited memories suggested there was a privacy spell in the area, keeping the true nature of my Tablet under wraps.

***

Supplemental Information (Adventure Historian Skill Benefit): Goblins are a diverse species who adapt to the local environments within a few generations. Given their proclivity to breed and mature quickly, this can take shockingly little time. You will encounter goblins of many types and capabilities in the wider world. This is increasingly so if you explore any of the adjacent magical realms.

***

“Hi Basbro. Nice to meet you.” I jerked a thumb over my shoulder, indicating my still awe-struck companions. “I’d like to see about getting some proper adventuring gear for my team. Also, if you’ve got someone on staff who can open this treasure chest, I’d appreciate that, too.”

Basbro looked my party members over, then leaned to the side to study the chest.

“We can help with the kit, but not the chest, sir. I’m afraid we do not offer lockpicking or magic dismantling services here. As a nexus of the powerful, I’m sure you can imagine how delicate our situation is. If we started opening sealed chests or magical items, we could create a situation with the creators of such items.”

I frowned, considering what he was saying. “That makes sense. Do you sell items that would be able to help me open it?”

Basbro smiled at me, a cheeky little grin. “Technically speaking, we do sell items that help with the dispel of powerful magics and also that could assist in the bypassing of many types of locks.” He leaned forward, a sparkle in his eye. “It is not in my best interests to not sell you things, nor to give out free advice. However,” he added, his voice dropping to a whisper, “I would suggest finding another option.”

Amused, I chuckled. “Let me guess—a little too difficult for DIY?”

Something almost mechanical flashed over his vision before he nodded. “Do-It-Yourself would be a dangerous endeavor. If you insist, I would gladly show you our selection.”

Skullie had some ability to detect magic, and with my gear and stats, I didn’t think of myself as a lightweight when it came to avoiding damage from magical effects. But something told me Basbro had an inkling about that, and was trying to protect me from myself.

“Hm… I don’t love the idea of dragging it around everywhere until I find someone strong enough.”

“We can explore personal storage options that might be able to contain it, as well as on-site lockbox solutions.” Basbro tilted his head back to look at me. “I do need to ask that you send the chest back through your portal, however. After that, I’d be glad to show you around.”

“Of course.”

Turning, I saw that our entrance had been through a generic wooden door lining a wall entirely composed of similar doors. Ours was marked with the word “Jordan” above the lintel, differentiating it from thirty or forty others, all with names listed above.

I slid the heavy chest across the floor until I had pushed it back through the door. With that done, Basbro motioned for us to follow.

The goblin’s tone took on a tour guide quality. “You’ve arrived at the common section of the store. This floor is open to anyone, regardless of status.” Basbro pointed, indicating several hanging signs that denoted specific areas. They were labeled things like “Dungeon Kit” and “Healing Tools” and “Weapons and Armor.”

“Is Massie’s Emporium only accessible through the Fae Lodging scrolls?” Merielle asked.

Basbro turned his head to look at the elf. “No, ma’am. We have several shops across multiple worlds in the Fae Wilds. The storefronts all have their own specialty items, in addition to connecting here.”

“Surprised I haven’t heard of it.”

This time, Basbro grinned. “There are many things I’m sure you haven’t heard of.” She blushed, and he shook his head. “There’s no shame in it. The Fae Wilds is as expansive as people have imagination. Even immortals cannot know everything there is to know about our realms.”

When no one else had any other questions, Basbro led us up to the shelves, following a silver line etched into the floor. There was no indicator as to what the line meant, only that we were following it. When we got to the front of the shelves, Basbro paused, motioning to the shelf next to him.

“You’ll find that prices are clearly labeled. They are also not negotiable.”

He pointed to a potion on a long rack of similar items. A piece of parchment tied around the stem listed it as a “Potion of Healing (Lesser) – 50GP; Standard Weight Only.”

“There is quite a large selection of items available here, from the mundane to the exceptionally enchanted. Massie’s Emporium prides itself on having not only a large quantity of options, but also the highest quality. This does mean you pay a slightly higher premium, but prices are normalized. And you always know what you’re getting is what you’ve paid for, instructions included.”

He gave us a professional look over. “Are there any questions?”

We shook our heads, and the goblin turned to lead us deeper in.

It was incredible to see the variety of goods, and some of the astronomical price tags that accompanied them. I quietly cautioned all of my party to look with their eyes, not their hands, especially as Nym reached out to touch some 4,000GP glass figurine.

The silver line led us down to an open, central area with an enormous circular desk. A veritable army of surprisingly curvaceous, lovely goblin women stood behind the desk, cashing out customers with a rapidity that would have done any store on Earth proud.

Having never seen goblin women before, I found myself amazed at just how unique they were. The women had flawless skin, expressive faces, and eye-popping measurements. Compared to the magma goblins and ones Zuri had turned to stone, these were basically supermodels.

Basbro pointed at a circular pillar that ran from the high-vaulted ceiling down, through the center of the checkout area. A map wrapped around the column. “Use that to navigate this floor. The colored lines on the ground will guide you. If you decide to go to the Tablet Holder areas, you’ll need to present your Tablets. The same applies for Core sections.”

“Core sections?” I asked.

The little goblin gave me a wry smile. “VIP sales for custom goods, sir. That’s where people who can work with Core magic operate. You’ll need an intact Core just to enter those spaces.”

Zuri looked up at the map, pointing at sections for clothing and specialized fighting equipment. “And what are the Tablet Holder spaces like?”

“They include Tablet translation interfaces. The gear there is intended specifically for people with Tablets.” Basbro hesitated, looking the rag-tag team over, but pausing as he took me in. “Do all of you have Tablets?”

“Oh yeah!” Nym bounced, moving to summon hers.

I motioned for her to stop. My instincts told me that trust should be earned, not given. The last thing we wanted was to have an entire world’s worth of adventurers knowing about our team.

“We all have Tablets,” I said to the goblin, whose expression had become positively predatory. “Ladies, let’s get the essentials here, then we can move on to the Tablet area together, okay? Just assume you’ve got a thousand gold each to spend. I’ll cash us out once you’re all done.”

“A thousand gold?” Nym’s eyes widened until they took up nearly half her face.

Merielle leaned forward, placing a hand on Nym’s shoulder as if to steady herself. “Did he say a thousand gold?”

“He did,” Britney said, giving me an approving look. “Like a proper leader, he’s investing in his team.”

Uncertain how to reply, I watched with bemusement as the group dispersed. Even Zuri, after a few composed steps, followed quickly once she realized the rest of the team was so far ahead.

I chuckled and looked down at myself. “I guess I’d better go after them. I need new clothes.”

Skullie, tucked away in my armor, wiggled its jaw in confirmation. “You do. Not to be mean, boss, but you kind of stink.”

“I do not.” I lifted my arm and took a whiff of my armpit, only to immediately regret my decision. “Ach, okay. I’ll admit I was wrong on that one. We’ll get something for that if they have it.” I might not have been a fastidious person in my previous life, but I’d be one now.

One did not walk around with a group of gorgeous women smelling like an unwashed goat.

I moved to follow my eager companions at a much more relaxed pace, and Basbro walked with me. The clothing and armor section followed a purple line as it wound around to a back section of the store. Here, clothing racks and armor stands were lined up, standing at attention and showcasing their wears.

Some of the mannequins changed poses, showing off different elements of the outfits after a set amount of time. There was no visible movement change, just a sudden and eye-watering difference.

I was surprised to discover an entire section of clothing labeled “Royal Quality.” There were several dresses on prominent display. Each of them had different patterns along the bodice and hem, with complex stitching and embellishments. They hung well on their mannequins, and I realized they’d show a shocking amount of skin on a real person.

Basbro smiled up at me, a thin and polite expression. “Do you like our royal selection, sir?”

I scanned the clothing on display. “Yeah, I think I do. They kind of remind me of clothing on Earth, like a fusion between an old European style, but sexier.”

The goblin gave me a toothy grin. “Every country and culture has different aesthetics, obviously. Recent trends have gone in a slightly more revealing direction. I’m told the logic is that the more powerful a person is, the less they have to conceal. Or something like that.”

“If we’re going to help Brittney with her problems, we might want to consider getting outfits for the team, boss.” Skullie wiggled his jaw at me. “I haven’t been out for long, but just overhearing her describe her situation, it sounds like we may want to be ready to fit in.” He squinted over at the price tag. “I think we can afford a few for the team.”

I regarded the lich. Prior to becoming my familiar, he had shown an almost desperate eagerness to convince me that it was my friend. Now, it seemed the undead had truly thrown in to help.

What’s the term? I thought. Enlightened self-interest, right?

“Thanks, Skullie. That’s a good idea.” To Basbro, I said, “Whatever needs to happen to get my party members dressed in that style, let’s make it happen. Say, two outfits each? They might need to be adjusted to make them look as regal as possible.”

The goblin’s smile ticked up. “Oh, yes, sir. We have magical tailoring services available for just such an…ambitious order. Would you like two for yourself as well?”

“Yeah. Although, honestly, I kind of like your style, Basbro. Can we do something that’s appropriate for visiting celestial royalty, but with your vibe?”

“My style, sir?” He looked down at his blue suit jacket and tailored pants. “This is the standard uniform for a Massie’s employee. It’s a bit dated. I believe it does originate from your Earth, however. It might be a good statement.”

“Sure. Modernize it if that’s what it takes.”

“Will do, sir. I'll coordinate that now. Let your friends know my assistants will be magically scanning for their measurements, please?”

“No problem.”

I wandered around to find the rest of my party.

Zuri haggled at a service desk while holding a piece of multicolored cloth and pointing at her covered head. There seemed to be some confusion over why she’d want to hide her hair, but she was insistent.

Merielle stood next to a rack of clothes similar to the gorgon’s vaguely Arabian garb, pulling lengths of fabric out from rolls and running them across her hands. She had a frown of concentration on her face as she bent forward, looking closely at the material. It looked to me like she was trying to determine how transparent it was.

Britney and Nym stood off to one side, engaged in a discussion with another celestial. The woman was taller and older than Britney, and had a mature, although still captivating radiance about her. Her hair was a light mixture of gold and blue, and her wings and wardrobe both matched the motif.

I made sure to tell Zuri and Merielle about the measurements before I wandered over to Britney and Nym.

“That’s when Leah declared that she was the head of the so-called Celestial Sisterhood. She—ah.”

The woman stopped talking when she noticed me walking over.

Britney frowned, looking back. “Oh, Jasmine, this is Jordan. He’s my party leader. Remember? I just told you about him.” Britney motioned to Jasmine with a clipped wave. “Jasmine has been telling me about what Leah, my illustrious stepmother, has been up to. Apparently, she’s broken away from the main Sisterhood and formed her own sect.”

Nym grinned. “It’s been really interesting.”

Jasmine looked up at me with a frank, weighing look. “Ah. Yes. Jordan. Pleased to meet you.”

I returned her expression blandly. “Nice to meet you,” I said.

We all stood around awkwardly for a moment before Britney nudged Jasmine.

“Go on, continue. I trust him. We all do. He’s got no reason to report anything to anyone, do you, Jordan?”

Jasmine hesitated, looking at me with an expression of blatant distrust. I realized it was because Skullie was poking out of my armor.

“Oh. It’s fine,” I said, pointing at Skullie. “This is Skullie. He’s my familiar, and won’t cause any problems.”

“An undead…familiar?” The celestial woman sounded aghast. “How is that even possible?”

“Long story,” I said, waving the question away. “Please, continue. I’m very curious about the whole situation.”

“Yes. Well.” Clearing her throat, Jasmine leaned forward, pitching her voice to barely above a whisper. “Your father has agreed to support Leah in this. All celestial women who are considering adventuring are being brought to the new Sisterhood and enrolled, whether they want to or not. She’s also taken control over the army protecting the Celestial Dungeon. A lot of us think something bad is going on. Whispers are that maybe mind control is involved.”

Britney gasped. “Are you serious?”

Jasmine nodded. “She is half-lunafel. It is said she inherited most of their skills, which you must know include mind manipulation.”

Britney chewed on her bottom lip in stunned silence.

Quickly consulting my Tablet, I accessed a summary of the Lunafel.

***

Information (Adventure Historian): Lunafel are also known as Moonshadow Tigers. They are humanoid tigers, with silver and white fur. They are tied tightly to the moon and are known to manipulate lunar energy, including the Web of Dreams. This grants them access to a variety of unique powers, including mind manipulation through sleep. It is worth noting that Lunafel are considered incredibly captivating and beautiful, even in comparison to other humanoid species such as catgirls.

***

“That’s not good,” I said. “Jasmine’s right. Lunafel can be dangerous.”

Jasmine looked at me and gave me a tight, approving nod. “Anyway, if you’re out of the Sisterhood and adventuring with a man now, you should be very careful about your return. Leah has only gotten worse. It’s infected the courts and local politics, too.”

Britney gave her a sour look. “I’m not just ‘adventuring with a man’—there’s a catgirl, an elf, and a…medusa-kin,” she said, distastefully chewing on Zuri’s description.”

“‘A catgirl?’” Nym clicked her tongue at Britney. “I’m right here you know!”

Britney wrinkled her nose up. “Exactly. So I’m not just ‘adventuring with a man.’”

“Thanks for giving us the heads up,” I said. Then I reached out and touched Nym’s arm and nodded at Britney. “We need to finish shopping, and then get some rest. It’s been a long day.” I paused. “Oh, and there will be someone coming by to do measurements.”

Nym nodded and then gently tugged Britney’s arm. The celestial followed Nym back into the aisles, although she didn’t look very happy about being dismissed. I remained with the other celestial woman, but I just watched my party members walk away in silence.

Jasmine took a small step closer to me. “Watch out for her,” she said, in a soft voice that I could barely hear. “Once her stepmom learns Britnayel is alive and traveling with you, there’s a very good chance there will be trouble. It’s the sort of thing even a Tablet Wielder won’t be able to confront easily. Not unless you’re a much higher level than I think.”

I frowned. “What kind of trouble?”

“Leah’s got the King well and truly hooked. The celestial nation isn’t the largest or the wealthiest, but it is not without means. If they put a bounty on your capture or try to take their daughter back from you, expect mercenaries on your tail. After that?” She shrugged. “Other adventurers, potentially. And if they’re involved, that means local governments are, too.”

“That…wouldn’t be good.”

Skullie rattled his jaw. “An incredible understatement. The safest place in the world for us would be dungeons, and unless you’re planning on taking me up on my offer and joining the liches…”

I ignored my familiar. “Thanks for the information, Jasmine. We’ll have to prepare for war. I’m not letting anyone take a member of my team who doesn’t want to go.” I said it matter-of-factly, and as clearly as I could.

Something in my delivery earned a shiver from Jasmine. She took a step back. “That’s very noble of you. I wish you the best, truly I do. Britney’s late mother was a great woman. It’s a shame what happened to her.”

With that, Jasmine walked away, moving quickly as if concerned about lingering in my presence.

“Well, that wasn’t ominous at all,” I commented.

“That was sarcasm, right?” Skullie said. “Sometimes I can’t tell with you. Your voice is always so flat.”

“Yeah. It was.”

“Okay, good. If not, I was going to point out that you sounded crazy. Perhaps in the future you can let me know when you’re being sarcastic?”

Chuckling, I walked to the men’s section of the store. Halfway through checking on new clothes for myself, a collective squeal of joy rose from nearby. Holding a hefty looking wool shirt up, I glanced over as Basbro walked up.

“How are the measurements going?” I asked my goblin shopper.

“Fine, sir. We’ll need to charge a little extra to accommodate the gorgon’s hair, but it won’t be too much considering the amount of gold you’re about to spend in the common area.”

“That sounds good.”

The goblin held a hand up, revealing a black rectangle. “Do you mind if I take your measurements, sir?”

I glanced at Skullie, who nodded. “It’s totally safe. Common magic.”

When I gestured for the goblin to continue, I felt a wave of magic similar to the medusa’s near-constant stone effect wave down my body. It was different from Zuri’s, though. This felt detached and mechanical. It was far less pleasant than the faint tingle of her serpents, even if I knew they were probably trying to kill me just because of my gender.

“All taken care of. It’ll be an hour and we’ll have your suits ready for you. Unless you wish to request specific colors or cuts?”

I regarded the goblin. “I’m a fan of black and blue. Not purple, mind. Or dark green with a little pink or lavender.”

“We can work with that.” The goblin gave me a little bow, then turned, and walked away again.

Once we’d all gotten clothes picked out, along with heaps of simple magical gear, adventuring equipment, and ingredients for Zuri, we made our way to the Tablet Holder Area, one level up from the main floor.