NOVEL FROG Chapter 22: Ballin’
Plotting against the emperor? That is very daring, but do we stand a chance? With all the resources from our... benefactors, we might stand a chance. That is of course, if what you say is true. There are also still plenty of obstacles to remove.
-<DATA EXPUNGED>
The last week passed in ease, there were a few more hiccups in the form of people wanting me dead or locked up. Some assassins sent by slavers, who very much did not appreciate me going around turning their employers into Christmas decorations. There was also a group of adventures who tried to apprehend me for 'piracy and connections with the black market'. Those complaints fell on deaf ears, as there is no proof of me having committed piracy in the Empire, and the mermaid in the black market was wearing a mask. They wanted to claim that it was obviously me, until I pointed out I am not the only mermaid with blue hair and blue eyes in the capital. They know it was me, but nobody cares enough when I can get away on a technicality rather easily.
Using magic, I 'swim' into the ball. This even will be the first time I will be trying out airswimming for an extended period of time. Before entering, I spot Cathy at the entrance, waiting for something. She is dressed in a fancy maid outfit, something no servant nor noble would wear.
"Привет Cathy, you didn't enter yet?" She shifts some eyes around, and blinks slowly before answering.
"No, is it fine if we enter [together/unionized/as one]?" Teaching Cathy about Russia was one of the more fun things to do. She can already speak the language fine, and seems very excited to hear of 'extradimensional space'.
"Of course it's fine comrade. Having you right behind me to scare all those pansies will be fun!" Showing our ID's to security gains us a quick entrance. The moment I enter with Cathy right on my tail, the attending nobles close to the door already flinch away, much to my entertainment.
Urist quickly spots me entering, he thunders over to me as quick as his legs can take him. What is real surprising is that he's in full metal plate, if I knew I was allowed to come in overt armor, I would have!
"Esstrey ya gotta save Eden!" Fancypants is in trouble? I reach for one of my hidden weapons, security didn't even check if we had these.
"Who? Where?" I quickly scan the room, and see the trouble Urist was talking about just as he says what the problem is.
"Vile creatures assault our boy! They are attempting ta capture and devour him before we can have a proppa drinkoff!" I spot Eden, surrounded by noblespawn vying for his attention. I should have known that medieval European politics would revolve around selling off your kids to the highest bidder, but Eden is my opponent to drink under the table. Thus, I refuse to surrender him to the piranha's.
Approaching Eden at a suspiciously quick pace, my prey don't notice me until it is too late.
"Hey Eddy! Who are your friends?" I lock arms around two of the girls harassing him, much to their horror, I am only getting started.
"By the Goddess Esstrey! You look like you killed an imperial admiral and redecorated his suit before promptly wearing it yourself!" Before I can continue my assault, he comments on my outfit. This is an admiral outfit? Looks more like something a British colonial-era captain would wear, tricorn included, of course.
"I mean, I might have killed an imperial admiral at one point, but all the meat kind of looks the same to me." Most of the creatures start backing off at my words, the rest soon follow as Cathy stalks right behind me. I release the horrified brats from my arms, and they quickly run off as well.
"Did you really?" I simply chuckle and shake my head. I'm pretty sure my memory is still good enough that I would remember doing something like that. He sighs in relief upon that.
"Come boy! Ya have been evadin me attempts at getting ye absolutely wasted long enough!" He scrunches his nose in displeasure for a bit, before looking back to his previous company, and feeling more certain.
"Alright, it would be bad if I went back on my word against a dwarf at this point." He says it like he is resigned, but a man of his status never needs to resign himself to anything.
Urist leads us to a table on the side, he somehow brought along a large keg of dwarven beer. Eden brought some bottles of whiskey, and I brought a few flasks of rum. "Alright boozelets, tha rules be simple. If I take a swig, ye take a swig. Ta make it more fair, I'll be takin bigga swigs."
As we start on the second swig, Kyla fast walks over to us, hounded by a surprisingly large amount of imperial nobles.
"And this is my good friend Esstrey! She is more commonly known as Esstrey the mad, because she has such interesting views on slavery." Kyla introduces me in a way she never introduces me.
"There ain't nothing interesting about my opinions on slavery. It is perfectly normal to want to nail them all to a cross. Now what do you shrimps want? I am in a drinking contest here with some rookie alcoholics." Eden may be a rookie alcoholic, but Urist scoffs and takes another swig.
"Weren't there a lot of slaver murdered lately in particularly gruesome ways? Like they were found nailed to a cross?" Eden says it like some very funny joke, but slavers dying horribly is my bread and butter, so who am I to judge?
"Yeah crazy right? I wonder who would be nuts enough to do that?" Kyla is trying to stop herself from giggling while saying it. The parasites clinging to her grow pale as they watch me. I simply give a smile that sends them running.
"Fuck was that about? I thought humans were more scared of the great demon lord." Kyla sits down next to me, looking as relieved as Eden did a moment ago.
"I thought so too, but I guess they have some skewed expectations when they saw me. Thanks for the save Esstrey, you are really great at scaring annoying people away." She looks at Eden while she says that, like he's in on some inside joke. The fuck does she mean by that?
Urist takes out cards to enhance our alcohol competition. However, before he has even finished dealing our cards, Carmilla and Xygar show up.
"Hey guys! Mind if I sit here?" Carmilla says it with a clearly faked smile. Looks like she had a rough time as well.
"Sure lass, as long as ye don't mind the smell of booze." Carmilla looks around at Urists statement before answering, or more correctly venting.
"It beats the constant smell of arrogant noble blood. I far prefer the cattle back home that are bred to perfection, but my nation demands that as a vampire I get along with the rot of the Empire. No offense Eden." Eden lazily waves it away like he is used to people calling his vassals rot.
"Oh Xygar! Did you receive the resources for curing growths?" Kyla has actually managed to remember something for once, this being the cure for cancer expert being Xygar who is handling the practical area of what he insisted is my theory.
"Oh yes! They were quite cooperative, and Jalaha has been of great assistance to me. I should also be able to easily expand the research into curing the hardier parasitic diseases as well." Xygar can't smile because he's a skeleton, but from his voice I can certainly tell he's trying.
It doesn't take long for the next visitor to join us as well. Myrdria, princess of the city state Alnab, and one of the slaver scum twins, joins us, followed by an entourage of older nobles.
"And this is my class, they are the future, and I do recommend trying to build trade relations with these people. Lady Kyla'th is the sitting demon lord, and the only one so far to have decided to make contact with those outside Mazurio. Xygar is a death magic major, and will be able to tell you exactly how goods can expire. Urist is a mayor of a magic bomb factory, this all makes him a great contact if you have too much competition. There is also Esstrey, she is a leading expert in the trade of people." She introduces us in a very specific manner, Kyla gives a meek wave, Xygar is trying his hardest to blush at being called a death magic major, Urist is sending a death glare her way for exposing his business, and I simply send a big smile in the direction of the slaver scum.
Sadly, my smile misses, and hits the noble merchants behind her instead as they all quickly make excuses to leave. The entire table sends a look in the direction of Myrdria that screams 'you too, huh?'.
"Esstrey dear, lovely working with you, you make for perfect intimidation. I have to say, really picked the right job with your skill set." She says it like everything that just happened was a foregone conclusion.
"I can't be that scary, they are probably just running away from Cathy, who is always close to me. Besides, I would NEVER work for rat bastard slaver s-" Before I can finish, I am interrupted by Myrdria.
"One-hundred gold if you punch Urist in the face." I reach across the table, and sock one of the ale kegs present in the face. Specifically, the one that was still sending a death glare to my paycheck. The punch makes his helmet give off a gong-like noise, and he falls to the ground moaning, more from the fact he is now dizzy, and will have a hard time getting up. Since the booze numbed his sense.
"See? You didn't even hesitate. Cathy may look scary as a species, but anyone that looks for longer than five seconds will notice a diminutive servant. Whereas you represent a very real, and a very present threat. Someone that can and would kill for unperceived slights." She monologues it like she's saying some grand fact of life. I simply gesture for her to pay up.
"Esstrey! Why did you punch Urist? That's just cruel!" Kyla is fine with me killing solars in general, but it seems even she can't resist Urists... 'charms'.
"O relax! He barely felt it, and he's also now fifty gold richer! It was a team effort, after all." The real cruelty would be not sharing with a comrade after all.
Our banter is interrupted as Alicia stomps over, with her brother in tow. The nobles following them quickly taper off, as it becomes clear her destination is the faction of freaks.
"Thank the fucking Goddess, some company that isn't liable to poison me." I would correct her on that, as I have poisoned plenty of people during these occasions, but realize that I really wouldn't use poison to kill anyone here. I have a message that needs sending, after all.
"It ain't tha bad." Eden manages to barely slur in between sips of whiskey. Alicia simply scowls in return.
"Honestly, I'm surprised no one has fallen over dead yet. If my mother were here, we would be attending a funeral, rather than a ball." Considering her tone, she is most definitely annoyed at the cheery situation.
"Not to [worry/fret/anguish] Lady Alicia. Lady Esstrey has proven [invaluable/indispensable/undeterred] in finding things to kill." Coming from literally anyone else that might have been meant as an insult, however just this once I feel like proving Cathy right, and give Kyla a poke.
"Is there anyone where there isn't meant to be anyone right now?" Kyla narrows her eyes at me, but her focus lies elsewhere.
"There is someone in the rafters under cover of shad-" I spot the trespasser in question, and shoot him down with my crossbow, which I had hidden under my coat. The bolt lands in his neck, and he falls down in the middle of the dance hall, crossbow clattering next to him. People scream as a corpse lands, which quickly morphs into the realization that he was an assassin who was bad at his job.
"Damn, I wanted to prove dad wrong so badly." Eden pukes, and falls to the floor unconscious. It seems he lost the drinking game.