You must be this old to enter the Dungeon

9) Two out of three, and a tree



9) Two out of three, and a tree.

Setting the pup down at my feet, I braced myself on the table and stood up with only a little bit of dizziness and a hitch in one knee. The mother coyote looked up at me for a moment, then went back to trying to gnaw on the glass baking pan.

Heading over to the sink, I filled my tumbler back up and bent down a little bit to pour it into the dish I was using for a coyote water bowl. The one eyed pup wiggled free of the old dish rag to go lap at it.

I was hungry again.

Desperation time.

I had picked up the two boxes of multi grain mac and cheese a few years ago, figuring anything multi grain was all right, but half a box of it had shot my blood sugar up to a near dangerous level even after sleeping, or at least trying to sleep, overnight. So the other box had sat there on the back shelf ever since then as a reminder that for me, noodles are always bad.

Pouring it into a deep plastic bowl with some water, I popped it into the microwave for twenty and hoped it hadn’t been enough years for it to go stale.

I was still going to eat it regardless, but hoping didn’t cost anything.

The cheese packet felt like the fake cheese powder had turned into a solid lump, and I didn’t have any milk, but at least it seemed like I had a new way of burning off blood sugar. So I had that going for me.

Twisting at the cheese packet seemed to break it up, and I still had some margarine that claimed to be healthier than the others left. After draining the noodles and mixing in the fake butter, it still had enough heat left to it after melting the margarine to turn the fake cheese into a thin clumpy coating on the brownish colored noodles.

God dam they tasted good. For the first time in more years than I could count, I was able to fill up on something that wasn’t nutritious, low fat, or high fiber.

It was just something that tasted good and I had an excuse to eat it until I felt full.

Even then the mother coyote got nearly half of it spooned up and dropped down into the baking pan, while the soon to be fat pup got the bowl to lick as it pushed it around the kitchen floor with its tongue.

Hope the stuff doesn't give it, or me, the shits.

I held up my spoon for old blue eye to lick and gave it all the fallen noodles clinging to my shirt and pants as I noticed them. The mom had already gotten the ones that made it to the floor.

Damn it. Don’t look at me with your one eye like that Blue. I'm just feeding you scraps, you shouldn't look at me like I'm being nice… "I just don't want to waste my efforts."

As the mother coyote sniffed up at the table for anything else, I rested my hand on her neck.

[ Spirit Coyote can not hold any more Life ]

So it’s both of them that I healed that got changed. Getting up and reaching for the other pup, Chubby, I snagged him by the scruff of the neck as he saw me reaching for him and let out a yip as he tried to skitter away. Good luck pup, you’re on linoleum and it’s wet from when I missed trying to pour water into the dish.

[ Do you wish to channel Life into Coyote? ]

[ Yes / No ]

“So it is just the ones I healed… like the tree… Damn it.”

The coyotes that I healed up seemed to care about me, almost like dogs, smart dogs, while Chubby is still like a wild animal. What would that mean for a tree?

I peeked outside.

The sun was going down, but I wanted to know.

Heading to the front door, I snagged the putter leaning against the wall under the light switch that I had picked up at the thrift store to knock icicles off my gutters years ago. Now, on bad days, I would sometimes use it as a cane.

As I headed out the front door there was a clatter of claws on cement behind me as I made my way down the front steps. The mom, Wilyna, had pushed past the closing screen door and followed me out, with Chubby left behind standing on its hind legs to look out the screen door window after it closed behind her while Blue sounded like it was clawing at the metal panel below it.

Wilyna was looking back and forth but staying on the porch. “Clever girl.”

Looking around myself I didn’t see anything red. So I made my way over to the apple tree, held my hand up to press against the bald patch… and hesitated.

The small slender green hand that reached out of the wood at the end of a spindly little arm pressed up against mine, palm to palm.

[ Do you wish to channel Life into Honeycrisp Apple Tree Dryad ]

[ Yes / No ]

Do I?

As I thought it over the hand withdrew slightly, and a little girl's face pushed its way out of the barkless portion of the tree.

Her skin was as green as a leaf, and her hair was red streaked with yellow like the skin of the apples that grew from the tree at times. Her eyes were all one color, a creamy light jade, all the way across.

She seemed confused, and sleepy as she looked up at me.

What the hell? "Just a little bit kid, I'm pretty worn out already."

With a shy smile, she pressed her hand back up against mine. At least her teeth were the right color.

“Yeah. Feed her.”

I let the warmth flow out until I felt like I reaching the point I might not make it back to the house and all the way into my bed. Then I pulled my hand away.

The green gal just yawned without a sound, then vanished back into the tree.

“I should charge you rent kid, but I guess you can pay in apples.”

Or would that be like eating her kids? Maybe it would be like eating eggs? Note to self, don’t channel that Life stuff into any chickens.

Turning around, I wondered what I should do with the coyotes.

Kick them out and let them get tracked down and killed by the Lashers, or keep wild animals inside my house to shit and piss all over my floors?

Wilyna let out a whine. Looking up I could see her looking down the street, where three evil red monkeys were making their way toward me along the front lawns, their eyes locked on me.

“Crap, crap, crap.”

Moving at a near jog, the closest I could manage to a run, I headed for the steps as quickly as I could. I should have saved a bit more energy for me, dam me for being nice. A screech sounded across the neighborhood, and I could hear them coming with screams and high pitched barks.

Wilyna danced around me as I reached for the door, then nearly knocked me over as she rushed into the house. Chubby had almost fallen out the doorway when I pulled the screen door open and I had to “foot lift” it back into the house before pulling the screen door shut so the wind wouldn’t catch it and then I slammed the front door shut.

I got the deadbolt twisted shut and the wooden block inserted in the floor before somethings began tearing into my front screen door with the sound of shattering glass, tearing metal, and the howls of angry beasts.

Nope. Not letting anything else in tonight. The inn is full. Try the manger.

The bars on the window should keep them out, but looking out a window to check on that would just attract them over to where they would end up breaking the glass.

And… Monkeys, you know. I don’t want them throwing anything at me through a broken window.

What the coyotes are going to leave for me overnight is going to be enough to clean up.

Looking down at Wilyna, I reached out a hand to scrunch the fur at the back of her head.

“You got a place to stay tonight Mom. Let’s set up you three with somewhere to sleep.”

Reed's old Toy Story blanket, the padded kind, had gone up on the top shelf in the linen closet when he had gone to college, and he had never asked for it back. I had wanted to give it to Beatrice when she was little, but the wife had said she should have stuff for a girl.

Bah. Toy Story was for all kids. Even with a spaceman and a cowboy as the mains.

That woman never did know what she was talking about.

I folded up in half for the three of them in the living room, but by morning Wilyna had somehow managed to get both pups up on the bed with her while I was sleeping.

For once, very soundly, and for a good seven hours.

I guess magical exhaustion makes for a restful sleep. Good to know.

Also, Chubby would be a bed hog if he, let me check… I lifted one of his back legs, if he was any bigger. His, let me check... sister and mom are much more considerate. Even if Blue likes to cuddle up close.

So, time for the morning pee, pills, shot, and then it was time to check for puddles. Or solids.


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