Weight of Worlds

They were a week into their first actual break from the academy, and Esmund wasn’t enjoying it as much as he should be. He was sitting with Kirs, Sansir, and Grev in the common room, enjoying the peace and quiet. Many students had left the academy for the break, since a majority of students came from the capital or one of the close lying cities.

Es was surprised by how much of his country’s population lay that close together. The further he got from the capital, the smaller the towns got and the more spread out they were, until you could travel for days without meeting another person on the road.

His eyes wandered to the door to their sleeping area, as Sansir and Grev bickered over a chess game. Grev wasn’t even playing. He’d just been critiquing a move Sansir made against Kirs, and they’d gone into full discussion mode.

Looking around the group, it felt smaller than it should, though he didn’t think the others noticed it like he did.

Kirs, who was sitting next to him on the couch, knocked against his leg with her knee and he realized he’d been anxiously twitching it. He glanced at her, or intended to, but her deep lake blue eyes trapped his own as surely. Her eyes had a different quality than Ranvir’s. His were piercing, detailing all the small details around him, to the point he sometimes missed the bigger ones. Kirs’ didn’t pierce to the heart of the matter, but let things come to them. Her eyes understood. He didn’t realize he was smiling until she returned it before breaking their eye contact.

It took conscious effort to stop his shaking, which had spread from his one leg to his entire body.

“What are you thinking about?” Kirs asked, quiet enough to not disturb the bickering chessmen.

“Ranvir.” He replied, though he was sure she already knew the answer. He looked at the windows again, the sunlight still streaming through it. It was just setting, the colors turning golden.

She exhaled slowly. “It’s a rough turn.”

Esmund gritted his teeth, feeling the tension in his jaw. “It’s hard.”

Ranvir had been with them not twenty minutes ago. Not participating much, but he wasn’t the loudest member of their group on his best days. Not even close. But despite him not being the most outgoing or energetic, he’d always had the stamina to stay up with them for as long as they could, if not longer.

Today, he’d been the last to get up from bed and he was already back in it. Esmund let out a slow breath, letting the feelings bleed out into his body. He shook his shoulders, forgetting himself.

Pain flared on the shoulder blade, where he’d been struck by the teacher who’d apprehended him. He was still sore after a week of rest, but he hadn’t taken a third of the beating Ranvir had. He understood why his friend was so lacking in energy, but he didn’t have to like it.

“Hey.” Kirs poked him in the side. “It’s going to be okay. The others should come back any day now. Master Stjarna should be with them and he’ll fix him right up.”

Gratitude welled up in Esmund as he smiled at Kirs. He briefly caught her fingers before nodding to her. She smiled at him sweetly, making his stomach go crazy. Then she drilled him in the side with that same finger. Kirs had many types of messages she would send out, Esmund had learned.

If she wanted people to learn something, but they were challenging her on the subject, she would respond to their arrogance with her own personal brand of anger and mockery that always left him having to stifle his own laughter. If she wanted to know what was wrong, she would talk to them to get their attention, or if she liked them—hopefully—she poked them. But if she thought you were getting too presumptuous, she would drill you with her finger.

Esmund jerked away from her with a yelp, his thoughts momentarily taken off Ranvir due to the sheer pain. He didn’t know what the smiths of Elusria had replaced Kirs’ finger bones with, but it had to be some kind of super metal.

He tried to tickle her back, but he was struck down with another drill from her death fingers. She tried attacking again, but this time, he caught her hand and pulled it away. She might have fingers of metal and death, but she had the muscles of a scholar. Catching her other hand, he pushed them behind her back.

The act inevitably brought their faces closer together. Esmund felt the smile on his face die as heat suffused it instead. She was very close. He swallowed nervously, gaze flickering from her eyes to her lips, to the raised eyebrow. Her finger nailed him in the side and if it didn’t draw blood, it was a miracle.

He recoiled, drawing away from her before she could stab him any further. He must’ve slackened his grip when he’d gotten distracted.

Before she could launch into her next strike, the door opened again. They all paused, only at this time did Esmund realize that Sansir and Grev had stopped what they were doing to watch them and snicker at each other.

A student stepped through the door to the common room. He looked vaguely familiar to Esmund. His brown hair was the color of absolute normal, blue eyes that leaned slightly towards gray. He was taller than Esmund, but that wasn’t news to anybody.

But why is he so familiar, then? Esmund’s eyes widened. Skufi, the obsidian student.

In the time it had taken him to place Skufi, the student in question had crossed much of the distance towards them. Half of his face was showing late stage discoloration from a heavy impact to the jaw, something Esmund couldn’t place with the duel, so it must’ve come from the test.

“Hi.” Skufi sounded awkward and from the flush on his face, he felt it, too.

Esmund felt the gateway to tether-space slither open, almost on its own. He started getting up from his seat until Kirs wrapped a hand around his wrist.

“Hello.” She sounded reserved, but firm. Like when she was lecturing. It was a lot more welcoming than the worm deserved. Esmund grit his teeth and forced the gateway shut again.

“Hi…” He looked at them, clearly seeing that he wasn’t welcome. “I was wondering if I could talk with Ranvir. I’d like to apologize to him properly and explain myself.”

“Ranvir’s tired and has gone to bed.” Esmund replied, his voice barely controlled. “Thanks to the injuries you gave him.”

Skufi looked sick. He stepped back raising his good hand as if to protect himself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to go like that. I didn’t know Master Grimar would take away the healers.”

“We believe you.” Grev said, taking the wind out of Esmund’s sails. “I could tell you weren’t comfortable with the duel at all.”

“Yeah… Can I sit?” He gestured to a chair next to Sansir, who seemed the calmest of them all. Slowly, the ice tethered nodded as Grev suggested for him to do just that. “I… I didn’t want to fight for Master Grimar, none of us did. But…” He sniffed. “You should’ve seen my dad’s face when I brought half a year’s worth of salary for the shop. And then again, when I told him it was only the first of twenty. It was my family’s chance to move up in the world. To change things. How we lived.” He shrugged. “I can’t say that I made the wrong choice, I would do it again to see that look in mom and dad’s eyes.”

Esmund felt himself, despite his best attempts, start to soften. He wanted to remain hard, to protect his brother. But he could tell Skufi was coming from a genuine place.

“I say that now.” Skufi continued. He was picking at the table with a nail, avoiding eye contact. “But getting into the arena opposite Ranvir… I wasn’t so sure then. I have no combat training and even if I had, Master Grimar needed me to use what he’d taught. When you revealed the shield and he put it on. My aim isn’t the best on a good day, but that was too much. The determination in his eyes. I swear, for a few moments in that fight, they looked to be glowing. He didn’t use a speck of his power, but staring down the same student who’d stared down Master Grimar…” He shook his head, before shivering.

“And you could tell, you know? Every second the fight went on was a second that I got closer to losing.” Esmund noticed a slight shiver run through Sansir and Grev, causing him to frown slightly. “You could see it in his eyes, putting you together. Like he was solving a puzzle. It was clear in his eyes when he won. Before he even threw the shield. I knew it already. I could see the results in his eyes. And the look on his face, Cold-front is right. Still and calm as a snowstorm running over the land. Before it arrives, you already know you’ve lost, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Esmund felt a shiver run over him at Skufi’s words. He hadn’t realized people thought of Ranvir like that. He’d known his friend had developed a bit of reputation, but that was much more than he’d ever thought.

“Thank you for telling us.” Sansir said. “We’ll make sure to tell Ranvir that you apologized and explain the situation to him. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

In fact, Esmund already knew he understood. Ranvir had been the one to explain it to Esmund during the break, and while he’d been guessing from what Esmund could tell, he hadn’t been far off. And he hadn’t even blamed Ayvir for blinding him. He’d protected his students as was his purpose.