Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

I wish I could say that I had some time to catch up with my friends, but the days leading up to the Clan War were anything but relaxing. The state of Pandora was in such disrepair since, well, most of the population was kind of dead, that the core members of the Abyss guild were all busy trying to ensure that panic and pandemonium didn’t overtake the survivors. For what it was worth, the Regressor was quite skilled in that department, so all we had to do was follow easy-to-understand orders.

The first thing that he did was to solve the problem of the mysterious monster stalking the streets of Pandora, and while I would love to say that I managed to stage an epic fight with Jae-Hyun where he got to showcase the power of friendship and whatever else nonsense heroes did, the limited amount of time just didn’t allow it. I had to forsake a lot of my grand designs for something simple, and it ended up with just a showdown between Jae-Hyun and Dr. Walter.

Even the fight was half-assed. We certainly didn’t have the time to learn the choreography that I originally envisioned, but by the end of things, Jae-Hyun, with the help of some of the other guild members, was able to push back and banish Dr. Walter from the city, much to the relief and cheer of the non-combatants. He wasn’t gone forever, mind you, so I was hoping to do my original plan justice when we were less pressed for time.

With the monster dealt with decisively, the rest of Pandora’s populace followed the Regressor’s instructions naturally enough. It was also during this time that we all noticed the disappearance of Ryan and his guildmates. They hadn’t returned when we all came back. I knew that it was because of the Overseer, but that was the extent of my knowledge, and although I couldn’t tell the rest of the guild that little bit of info, my friends all knew that strange disappearances couldn’t be a good sign. Something was happening in the background, and the Regressor did instruct us to be on the lookout for other strange occurrences, but without anything else to go on, we simply couldn’t do much else.

And so the days passed one after the other and the long list of tasks whittled down until only a handful remained. The amount of things that we’ve accomplished in just a handful of days was impressive. The survivors of the Director’s Training finally understood how dangerous the Ascension process was, and whatever the Regressor did during his time there, he had clearly earned the respect of every individual. They fell in line naturally, and once everything was said and done, it could be said that the entirety of Pandora was essentially under the government of the Abyss guild. The few dissenters were quickly sentenced to a swift end via Noel. The complete control of the city was accomplished, albeit not in the way that we wanted.

The Regressor, Marcus, and Yoona were tasked with the last miscellaneous tasks, taking the twins with them, which meant that Vadeem, Noel, and I were the only ones completely finished. We sat in the lounge sofas, exhausted, but content with what we’ve managed to accomplish. A servant - newly hired apparently - came over with a fresh round of drinks, and I took a deep drink of my ice-cold lemonade before relaxing into the soft fabric.

“Say,” I whispered as a thought occurred to me, “I never did ask, but what Trial did you guys get after we got split up back on that floating island?”

“It’s not floating, little bro, it’s like a pointy rock,” Noel rolled her eyes, “We already went over this.”

“Whatever," I mumbled, "you know what I mean!”

“Ignore the idiot,” Vadeem sighed, “And our Trial was… it was awful.” He shuddered. “It’s a miracle that we made it back at all.”

“I’ve got to agree with Vadeem on that one,” Noel added before gagging, “Oh god… I don’t want to ever live through something like that again.”

I frowned. What kind of trial could have gotten Vadeem so riled up, let alone Noel? Those two went through the horrible corrupted second trial without any issue, so whatever they went through must have been rough.

“So, out with it then,” I said, “What’d you guys face?”

“I don’t want to recall it,” Vadeem muttered, “But I guess you should know. Our boss was right, the Third Trial wasn’t dangerous in the conventional sense; what we had to do was follow some strange set of rules, and we’d die if we broke any of them.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s basically what Jae-Hyun, Marcus, and I went through. I think you guys already know the details.”

“Yeah, I would have taken that horror hospital any day, little bro,” Noel chimed in, “We had to, like, pretend to play a certain role in some strange world.”

I nodded again, so far it seemed that the two of them went through something similar to me, but while I think the Hospital was rough, I couldn’t imagine something like that affecting those two so much. There had to be more.

“Right,” Vadeem added, “And if we screwed up, then we’d be done for. It was rough, that’s for sure. I thought I was going to die a few times.”

“Me too,” Noel muttered.

“Go on…” I said, curiosity getting the better of me.

“Don’t forget those stupid ghosts!” Noel interrupted, “Those didn’t help! I think a few of the other groups got offed because the ghosts got ‘em.”

Vadeem grunted. “I mean, the phantoms were annoying, especially for Yoona, but after the first day they were just more annoying than dangerous.”

“True that,” Noel agreed, “The real problem was our roles…” Another shudder. “That was true horror.”

“So what was it?” I said again, starting to get agitated since they were saying everything but what went on. Then again, if it was truly horrifying, I couldn’t blame them for not wanting to remember those traumas.

Noel looked over at Vadeem, her face pale, and the big man himself seemed reluctant to say anything either. I was about to just say that they didn’t have to tell if it was really that bad but Vadeem sighed before speaking first.

“It’s fine, Walter,” he conceded, “I’ll tell you. Yoona, Noel, the twins, and I were all sent to the same Trial. We had pretend to act as a family, as weird as that sounds.”

I frowned. “What?”

“Yeah,” the big man continued, “Strange, I know. We were sent to some kind of - I don't know how to describe it, but like a weird bizzarro Earth where we had to reenact the lives of a sitcom family or something. We’d have strange instructions we’d have to follow each day, like go to the grocers, or meet the new neighbors or some nonsense - simple stuff like that - and if we acted out of character, even a little, we’d be erased from existence.”

“Okay…” I muttered, still unsure how to process that information, “And where do the ghosts come into play?”

“That’s the strangest thing,” Vadeem answered, “There’d be these… I dunno, transparent ghosts or demon things trying to jump-scare you everywhere you go. They’d fling stuff around, pop up when you’re on the toilet-”

“They love doing that,” Noel interrupted, “Perverts, all of them!”

Vadeem ignored her and continued, “But anyway, if you acknowledge their existence or show too much fear, then, you guessed it, you’d be erased from existence as well.”

I nodded slowly. “So… was that why the trial was so hard? Cause of all the jump scare ghosts?”

Noel gave me a dubious look as if I wasn’t right in the head. “What, of course not. Why would Vadumb and I be afraid of stupid ghosts? They can’t even hurt you.”

“Still annoying though,” Vadeem added, “One of those fuckers stole my keys, took me forever to find it.”

Noel laughed. “That was a fun sight!”

"We almost died because we were late for that neighborhood BBQ though!" the big man retorted, "I don't recall you enjoying that!"

Noel just shrugged. "But it was good BBQ, even if half the families didn't make it back 'cause of that weird gremlin thing."

Now it was my turn to be confused. If it wasn’t the ghosts, then what part of the trial was difficult? I looked at the two in clear confusion. “That’s it?”

“Don’t you get it, little bro?” Noel muttered again, “I had to act as Vadeem’s wife!”

“But…” I muttered, “You played that role once before when we first came to Pandora. You didn’t even complain over much.”

The redhead shook her head. “Yeah, but that was like, pretend, and I didn’t have to act like that for long. Plus, I never had to touch his gross muscles.”

“Wait a second…” Another, more disturbing thought came to mind, “Did you have to-”

“Oh god no!” Vadeem screamed, “The sitcom setting was PG 13, thank all that’s good.”

Noel shuddered. “But I did have to…” She squirmed. “I had to kiss Vadeem on his dumb muscled lips. I… I honestly contemplated ending myself right there and then, but I realized that the rest of you would be devastated, and no one should be deprived of my awesome presence. I endured that for you, little bro, for you! Never forget that sacrifice.”

“Er… thanks?”

“You’re welcome,” she answered in all seriousness, “But if I had to go any further then I don’t think I’d still be here. You guys are great, don’t get me wrong, but nothing’s worth that." She paused as if remembering something. "Er, no offense to your wife, Vadeem.”

I blinked a few times. That was what made them so traumatized? Once again, I was taken aback by the way that my friends thought.

“Wait,” I said, “I can understand Yoona making it out fine, but what about the twins? How’d they survive?”

Vadeem shrugged. “They just got to play the role of modern-day kids. I mean, they enjoyed themselves easily enough, what with all the new stuff available on Earth, so I guess they didn’t really have to act much.”

“And the ghosts?”

The big man chuckled. “Walter, my friend, Ana and Eva grew up in that hellhole of an alternate Earth. Do you think some creepy phantoms and poltergeists would bother those two? They barely even noticed even before we got the instructions to avoid being startled.”

“Pity so many of our neighbors couldn’t do that,” Noel added, “We had like, 8 groups living in that neighborhood, and only 2 of ‘em survived. Could have used them now, what with only 1800 people left.”

Vadeem shook his head. “I doubt they’d have made it if they couldn’t even ignore a few scary faces and floating furniture.”

“Okay, fair enough,” I conceded, “And uh, that must have been tough for you two.”

“You have no idea!” Noel said with another shudder, “Anyway, let’s please move on to something else. I need to fully cleanse my brain of that awful memory.”

“Agreed!” Vadeem grunted.

“Well,” I said, “We still have a few hours before the Clan War thing, you guys ready?”

Noel shrugged. “Eh, it’s not us that should be worried, it’s those other dudes and dudettes. If our Timelord boss is right, and he usually is, we can’t afford to lose any more of ‘em.”

“Which means we have to do our best to end this fight as soon as possible,” Vadeem added, “But we’re practically going in blind, we’ve got no idea what kind of alien we’re fighting, or even the terrain." He thought for a while but ultimately shrugged. "Eh, We have our instructions, and I’ll trust Jae-Hyun to figure out the rest. The three of us just aren't any good at managing armies. Well, maybe Walter's alright at it.”

Well, what we had to do was easy enough. We’d go as far into enemy territory as we could and cause as much chaos and destruction as possible. The others would stay back and try their best to protect the noncombatants and Marcus was there to keep casualties to a minimum. Of course, if we had to fight the Restus as planned, this strategy would have been worthless. Vadeem and Noel got a lot stronger, there’s no denying that, but could they survive against an army of those Restus freaks? I doubted it.

But just because the enemy had changed doesn’t mean that we’d be out of the woods. Sure, by the expressions on Central’s staff, the replacement species looked like a letdown, but I couldn’t be sure that was 100% the case. However, unless they were especially weak, there’d still be casualties on our side. Let’s hope that Jae-Hyun’s plans can keep those casualties to the minimum because I’ve done all that I could to salvage this situation. It’s time to place our trust in our so-called “Timelord”.

Noel, Vadeem, and I did our best to pass the time, and before long, we all heard the call from the Regressor to meet up, followed by an announcement from the Trash Matrix about the imminent Clan War. It was time to go.

 

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