Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

The rest of the journey back to Bob’s headquarters and the subsequent train ride back to Site 1102 went in a blur. Q and Stanton left almost immediately after arrival, while Xalla and I stayed with Bob and Molly for a short while longer. Eventually, all of us realized that we’d neglected our duties for too long, and we all went our separate ways. Molly had split herself into a doll form and her main body remained behind with Bob for the time being, so at the very least that meant that I could see her more often than before.

I shook my head, that's not the proper way to look at things. I’m sure that I’ll see each of them before long, but it did feel kind of hollow seeing all of my friends leave one by one. That feeling stuck with me even when I was back in my familiar dormitory back in the Main Stage of the Trials. It was disconcerting going from Awakened superbeing back to normal Aspirant Walter, but that’s just the way of things. At least I still had Noe.

“As it shall always be, dear Walter.”

I smiled, that constant sense of support was what kept me going.

“Remember to be mindful interacting with Humans once more, my Host,” Noe continued, “You have been with Higher Beings for a significant amount of time, please do not have your point of view distorted.”

I recalled what happened when I overestimated mortals back in that screwed-up Alien dimension and nodded quickly. My personal growth was so lopsided and strange that it was starting to become hard to understand how I stacked up against the others, but it was obvious that between my strange title abilities and Noe’s powers, very few Aspirants could even hope to approach me.

“I just wish I could use my darn Prime Form soon…” I muttered as I looked at the Soul Title again.

 

Primary Soul Title: Level 21 Renowned Xollon Idol [Devourer of Truth]

Progress to next level: 8,788,382/10,000,000

Progression requirements: Have 10,000,000 individuals idolize you

 

Title Passives:

• Xollon Anatomy Stage 4: Your body has begun to incorporate more of a Xollon’s internal anatomy. Your Xollon mind will filter out all mental pollutants. You take 40% reduced damage from all sources and are unaffected by all mundane poisons.

• Xollon Physiology Stage 4: Your body has started to incorporate more of a Xollon’s external anatomy. You can utilize and extend your primary feelers through your human hands and feet and other minor appendages.

• Xollon Soul Stage 1: You are beginning to incorporate the soul of a Xollon.

 

So the only real difference was that strange Soul Stage 1 which I acquired at level 20, but I had no idea what it actually did. I mean, I didn’t feel any different, but the other passives had increased a few stages. At this point, I was more Xollon than Human, but given that I was never human originally, I wasn’t really sure how I felt about it. What I did know, however, was that I could now turn into a wiggling tentacle monster if I extended all of my feelers out at once, but I decided to never do that after looking at myself in the mirror. That was… disturbing, to say the least. No, the passives were great, but it was the new Active that I cared for, even if the cooldown for the skill was absolutely bonkers.

 

Title Actives:

• Secondary Form:

• Prime Form: You assume the physical appearance of a Xollon in its Prime Form for 10 minutes, although at a greatly diminished state. Please level up your title to unlock the true powers of a Xollon Idol!

Cooldown: 7.91 months/ 8 months.

 

Well, I think the original cooldown was at 10ish months when I first hit level 20, so bringing it down to 8 was a drastic improvement, but this also meant that I wasn’t going to be turning into a gargantuan eldritch horror anytime soon. Ah well, at least I made significant progress, so I can’t complain. However, what was a concern was that my level was still the same as it was since I exited the second stage, and after that hellish training that Abigail subjected Pandora to, I was most certainly the weakest combatant there. I’ll have to find a way to get caught up without anyone noticing the strange discrepancy, but that’s a problem for later.

The problem for now was to get fully caught up on Pandora’s situation ever since my absence. Several weeks had passed since that disaster that caused me to awaken early, and from the brief message that Molly was able to intercept from the Director, her training was about to be concluded at any time now. I had already swapped places with her, and the exit procedures wouldn’t take long so I was free to wait in my dorm for the others to leave. I hadn’t seen Jordan at all, and from the tense atmosphere in the command center, it was clear that the Site hadn’t completely recovered from what I did.

As for how many Aspirants survived to the end… It was bad. Disastrously bad, but at least the scheduled fight with the Restus was canceled and some other half-assed Aspirant species would take its place. Given how defeated the Overseer’s staff looked, I could guess that the substitute foe was woefully lacking. That meant that Pandora would survive, but how it would rebuild its strength after everything was said and done was anyone’s guess.

“Your doppelganger will arrive at any moment now, my Host,” Noe interrupted, “Please gather your thoughts, it is time to take over the identity of Aspirant Walter once more.”

I nodded, and not a few seconds later the Walter Clone blinked into existence in my room.

“Salutations, Arbiter W!” the creature said with his usual cheer. It was still damned weird seeing my own face staring at me like that. “I have successfully accomplished my assigned task without further problems!”

“Uh, great work.”

“Thank you!” he said again, “I have great news as well!”

I nodded. “Explain.”

“Your human minions from your party have made exceptional progress during the Training, and have exceeded almost all previous records for Aspirants in this Universe! As I surmised, your ability to choose peons is unmatched, as are your training methods!" He gave me a solemn bow. "I will strive to match your excellence.”

There was no surprise there. Knowing Jae-Hyun and the rest of those freaks, I couldn’t imagine that they’d have much trouble with Abigail’s trials no matter how challenging she made them. I was curious about just how much stronger they were though.

“Additionally,” the doppelganger continued, “I have taken extensive notes about my interactions with the humans.” He took out a thick book from seemingly nowhere and placed it on the table. Then he took out eight more massive volumes.

I looked on in disbelief, I’d only been gone for a few weeks, how could he have made so many notes, not to mention when the guy would have had the time to even do so.

He pointed at them with a bright smile and obvious pride. “I understand that look of disappointment, Lord Arbiter, but no worries, those are just the first volumes I wrote detailing Week 1. I will have the rest delivered to your room as soon as possible!”

“Uh…” I muttered, “Great work. I’ll take a look at them when I’m free.”

“Please do! I have documented every social interaction to the best of my ability, but please let me know if there are any faults!”

Out of curiosity, I picked up one of the massive manuscripts and took a cursory read.

Day 4 of Arbiter W Training:

Awoke at 08:00 sharp, as per Arbiter W Document 1703 Section B: Daily Habits, and after waiting 7.33 minutes, went to eat with Vadeem and Yoona.

As per Human Social Norms Subsection 32, I engaged in small talk about the Trial, waiting for proper Human Nonverbal Social Queues (Aspirant Edition) before giving my opinions on the subject. Subject Vadeem was most receptive of the interactions found on Dad Jokes: A Scientific Study, but it had adverse effects on Noel. I will study why this is the case at the earliest chance.

As per Arbiter W Document 702 Section E: Friends and Acquaintances, I then made several Human jokes and engaged in self-deprecating humor at the expense of Noel after she disagreed with the prior Dad Jokes (See Appendix for full nature of the jokes told).

What the hell was this? I flipped through several more pages and saw that it was all filled with similar notes. Every detail was written, from important daily activities to the times he spent writing these journal entries. I was… honestly if it wasn’t so creepy and clinically written, I’d have been impressed with the man’s devotion to detail. Also, what the hell was up with all those Arbiter W Documents? I flipped through a few more pages.

11:00: Training began. Utilizing Arbiter W Document 108 subsection B, I have ensured that I grew sufficiently with the party. Arbiter W Document subsection C states that the Lord Arbiter wishes to remain inconspicuous, thus I limited what I did so as to not receive undue scrutiny.

11:30: Helped Yoona with combat tactics as per Arbiter W Document 88, while simultaneously using Human Social Norms Subsection 30 to engage in proper small talk during periods of calm.

11:45...

“How is the work, my Lord?” He asked with evident glee.

“Uh, it’s great,” I said, pushing away the hefty volume, “I’ll make sure to check out the rest of it later.”

“Of course, sir!”

“Is there anything else to note?”

He nodded again before he reached into his damned chest cavity to take something out. The ribs parted ways while the skin split open to show a long wooden object hidden within. The skin mended almost immediately, and remarkably, it wasn’t covered in blood or gore as he offered it to me. You know, after thinking about everything I’ve seen in just the last 24 hours, seeing an exact clone of myself casually rip a foreign object out of his own chest wasn’t even that weird.

I took the offered object and frowned. It was… a walking cane? An expertly carved one at that, with intricate patterns and images carved into its surface, but what was I supposed to do with this thing?

“It is your new weapon, my Lord!” the clone explained, “I had to find a way to fight in the same way you did without being able to use your exalted feelers, so I returned to using a weapon you had early on in the Trials!”

Wait, this was one of those whip sword things? I scanned it closer and saw that there was a small groove near the head of the cane, and with care, I pulled on it. A slim, beautiful blade emerged from its wooden sheath.

“And it hides as a cane!” the doppelganger added, “I had it specially made that way.”

It was beautiful, but… “Why a cane sword?”

“Because, from my research using the Human Internet, I have determined that this is what the Humans deem as the coolest weapon! It is only fitting that you use a blade that befits your status. See, it is hidden like you are when you act as an Aspirant, and it is deadly! It’s also able to extend out like your feelers can!”

I saw that there was a small button near my thumb, which I assume was how the thing extended out, but I didn’t want to test that out in my own bedroom. Instead, I sheathed the weapon and placed it beside my bed.

“I see…”

He continued to smile. “Aspirant Noel also agrees with my assertion, so I am sure that this is the correct choice!”

“I’ll trust you on this,” I muttered, “You are… very well-versed in Human culture.”

An almost comically large smile erupted from his face at the praise. “I have doubled the amount of research I have done on this subject matter! I do my best, Lord Arbiter!”

“Excellent,” I sighed, “Is that all?”

The man thought for a moment before nodding slowly. “Ah, yes, I had almost forgotten, but your minion Jae-Hyun has scheduled a Guild meeting, and from his tone, this is an important one, at least for dull mortal standards.”

I frowned. “When is this scheduled for?”

The clone thought for a moment before smiling again. “Four minutes from now, Lord Arbiter!”

I stifled a frown and immediately got up from my seat. Well, there goes my plan to get caught up on what happened in the mini-trial! I’d just have to wing it… again.

“Thanks for letting me know so far in advance," I muttered.

“Not a problem, sir!” he said with the same enthusiasm I’ve come to expect.

“Now please go back to Central, I’ll take it from here,” I paused. “Did Jae-Hyun mention anything about the nature of the meeting?”

“No, sir.”

I sighed. “Then you’re dismissed."

I grabbed the cane, quickly washed my face, and headed out the door. I guess it’s time for me to play my part as Aspirant Walter once more, hopefully, nothing’s changed too much since my departure, but who am I kidding? Knowing my luck, there was bound to be a new set of bullshit ready for me to deal with, but the only difference was, I was ready for anything Central could throw at me this time.

 

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