Unlimited Isekai and Other Unfortunate Magic

Dave shoved everything into Agility, his muscles tensing as time seemed to slow around him.

Stellaris's shadow blade whistled through the air, slicing through the topmost strands of his ginger hair as he ducked beneath it. The severed locks drifted slowly to the ground, evidence of how close he'd come to losing his head.

In the same instant, a long shadow-chain flew from Cedez's hands, cutting through the air with a sinister hiss. Stellaris, her movements fluid and graceful despite her rage, twisted mid-lunge to slice through Cedez's attack. The chain wrapped around the shadow blade and both weapons detonated in a dark, fading wisp.

Before Dave could even process what had happened, a blinding flash erupted from Bessie's stalked eyes. A deafening bolt of lightning flashed the room, finding purchase on Stellaris's ornate dress. The fabric ignited instantly, flames licking up her body as she let out an agonized cry.

Yet even as her dress burned, Stellaris's determination didn't waver. Her silver-blue eyes, now reflecting the dancing flames, locked onto Dave with murderous intent, intent on removing him from the hands of Cedez and Murdoc. She lunged forward again, a second shadow blade forming in both of her hands pointed squarely at his chest.

Dave swung his entire body sideways.

Stellaris, now a terrifying vision of flame, dancing electrical currents and boiling shadows, bore down on him. Her teeth, unnaturally sharp, snapped at his neck as she closed the distance. In that moment of desperation, Dave's survival instincts took over.

His hand moved of its own accord, the bone knife he'd been clutching finding its mark in Stellaris's side, all of his points switching to Strength. The blade sank deep before Dave’s mind even caught up with what his accelerated body had done.

Stellaris's eyes widened in shock, her mouth opening in a silent scream as Dave’s hand closed around her leather collar, pushing her away from biting him.

Uneven, dragon-like shadow jaws emerged from the sliced chest of Stellaris trying to chomp off his hand, but Dave activated Phantom Absorption, devouring the brilliant soul-shards burning within the shadow-beast's maw. Without the soul-shards to focus them, the teeth turned into wisps of decaying smoke.

Cedez closed in, grabbing onto Stellaris with more shadow chains, snapping more of the shadow-blades that Stellaris tried to produce.

Stellaris's struggles grew weaker, her once-fierce expression melting into one of fear and, finally, acceptance as her thrashing ceased.

More brilliant soul-shards, like fragments of starlight, began to flow from her deep wound into Dave's hand. Each shard brought with it a flash of memory, emotion, or knowledge - fleeting glimpses into the life and mind of the singer.

Finding the key to having permanent memory, the key to persistence within the dream. Stealing a purified gemstone by robbing and murdering an Alchemist who produced it. Murdering the City Watch guards that tried to hunt her down. Murdering a Scrutimancer who came to investigate the murders.

Robbing the Arx Bank and murdering the security guards with blades of shadows. Learning about the others. Learning about the death of the princess, dreaming about being her. Renting a reinforced room from Lord Burgundy’s rep to make more underworld connections through the Nightingale pub connected with the catacombs of Undertown below.

Learning about the Night Guilds, recruiting assassins to start to eliminate her competitors for the crown of Shandria. Irritation as they refused to die permanently. Learning about Necromancer Dave. Desiring to own him, to use him as the final solution to her problems.

As the last of the dark elf's essence drained away, her physical form began to crumble like ash, her innards spilling out into pouring black smoke that Cedez absorbed, not letting any of it get away. The gems adorning Stellaris's dress flickered and faded as the empty outfit fell to the floor.

Dave stumbled, overwhelmed by the influx of information. His mind reeled, trying to process the fractured fragments of Stellaris's horrid life of an unending carousel of betrayal, trickery and murder.

In another minute, the memories of being her faded away.

“See? What’d I tell you?” Cedez exhaled, panting beside Dave. “Too bloody determined… no room for cooperation.”

"Yeah,” Dave heaved. “I feel like I've been hit by a bus... a bus full of homicidal, angry princesses with a penchant for shadow puppetry. She really believed she was the rightful ruler of Shandria and that everyone else was just... an obstacle to be eliminated. I do hope that you ain’t like her.”

“Come on, me? A backstabbing princess? I can barely manage not to trip over my own tail half the time while delivering lattes,” Cedez joked.

With an exhale, she flopped onto the white couch, curling up into a dark ball. “Welp, that was way too much Shadowmancy for reasonability. I’ma rest now and recover my mana. Plz no bug the fox.”

Her eyes closed.

Dave looked at the lightning-torched empty dress. "So, what do we do with her gems?"

“Dunno,” Cedez opened a single blue eye. “Feel free to absorb any residual soul outta them. I don’t want anything to do with what she is. I like my life as myself, thank you very much.”

He sighed and leaned down, absorbing the sparks from the gemstones within the burned dress.

"There," he said after a few minutes. "Got all of them, I think."

A view of a gemstone encrusted hexagram flashed in Dave’s newly attained memories.

A backup, a way to come back if the dress was destroyed.

“She’s got another backup...” he muttered.

“Hrm?” The blue eye of the tired-looking foxgirl settled on him.

“I think we have to go into the room she rented at the pub,” Dave said. “Destroy the gemstone hexagram under the floorboards, make sure she doesn’t return.”

“Ugh, responsibilities,” Cedez said. “Really didn’t want more of them.”

[Phantomancy Level 5 reached!] Dave’s bracelet announced suddenly.

“Stats,” he thought.

Going over his stats he noticed the new affliction [Felislice Infection. State: Larvae growth] there and that he now had over [35.8956] soul-shard bits to move around.

He placed all of the new shards into Vitality, feeling that he pulled several of his muscles while fighting against Stellaris and sat next to Cedez on the couch.

Murdoc picked up the remnants of the dress and gave it to a snail tentacle. Bessie slipped the burned dress onto a hanger and shoved it into a closet.

The old wizard settled into a nearby armchair, his weathered hands clasped in his lap. "Hrm," he voiced, his voice gravelly as a transparent tentacle held a steaming cup of tea which he accepted. "I'm getting too damn old for all of this excitement. Thankfully ol' Bessie makes excellent chamomile tea."

Dave nodded wearily. "I definitely didn't plan on stabbing anyone today," he admitted.

"Few of us ever do. But sometimes, it's kill or be killed,” the old wizard pointed out.

Dave frowned.

"She's a good lass, you know," Murdoc said, waving a tea-free hand at Cedez. "Despite… the darkness she carries in her soul.”

"Darkness?" Dave thought, contemplating the insatiable madness he absorbed from Stellaris.

"Seems like," Murdoc began, his tone casual but with an undercurrent of seriousness. "You seem to have gotten yourself rather entangled in our little family's affairs."

"I suppose I have," Dave admitted, shifting slightly under the old man's steely-gray gaze.

"So, Sir Dave, what exactly are your intentions towards my granddaughter?" Murdoc asked.

"I... uh... intentions?"

"Yes, intentions,” Muroc nodded. “You've been spending quite a bit of time around her, haven't you? And now you've gone and killed two of her... cousins, for lack of a better word."

Dave fumbled for words, acutely aware of Cedez's curled up fluffy tail next to him. "I... we're just friends, I guess.”

The old wizard's eyes narrowed. "Just friends, hrm? And do you always stab people for your friends?"

"That was self-defense," Dave protested. “Stellaris tried to bite my head off!”

Murdoc leaned forward in his armchair. "Listen here, lad. Cedez might be... different from us, but she's still my granddaughter. I've watched her grow, taught her everything I know. If you're planning on sticking around, I need to know you're not going to hurt her."

"Pffff, leave him alone, Gramps," the Cedez-ball commented, large dark ears twitching in the direction of their conversation like a pair of radar dishes. "Dave's just a poor, confused Earth boy. He probably doesn't even know which end of a Kitlix to pet."

“What, Kitlix have specific petting ends?” Dave asked.

"See what I mean? Totally clueless. Besides, if anyone should be worried about intentions, it's me. I mean, have you seen how he looks at Remicra's forge?"

"I do not look at her forge!" Dave protested, his face reddening.

"Oh please," Cedez teased. "I've seen you eyeing those steamin' bellows. It's indecent, I tell you!"

Murdoc's stern expression cracked slightly, a hint of amusement creeping into his eyes as Dave tried to come up with an effective comeback and failed at it.

"You're too easy to tease,” the dark fox giggled. “But seriously, Gramps, Dave's a good guy. He didn't have to bring Stellaris all bagged up in here, you know. He could have just..." She made a distinctive slurping noise, sticking her pink tongue out.

“I do not slurp souls like that,” Dave complained.

“Yes, you’re the Mister strong and silent soul-crunchin’ type,” Cedez grinned, without opening her eyes. “Oh, how does it feel to be a certified princess hitman? Should we get you a tiara or something?”

“Yeaaah,” Dave replied. “I’m going to pass on the tiara.”

“Right, that’d ruin your manly image,” Cedez commented. “Maybe a t-shirt that says ‘I had a Quest to slay a dragon, but I’m more into princess-slayin’.”

Dave's stomach suddenly let out a loud growl, interrupting her banter. He realized that he skipped breakfast on the account of kidnapping Stellaris.

“Oh no,” Cedez commented. "I can't have my hero starving to death! What kind of quest-giver would I be if I let that happen?" She turned to Murdoc. "Gramps, can Bess' feed the poor, famished Earth boy before he wastes away in our living room?"

Per request, a pearlescent tentacle emerged from a hidden compartment in the snail's shell. It glided smoothly across the room, opened a coldbox featuring a silver Kitlix curled up inside, its crystalline body glistening with frost. As the tentacle reached in, the Kitlix chirped softly, its eyes blinking open to reveal swirling patterns of blue and white. Dave watched in fascination as the tentacle carefully maneuvered around the living refrigeration unit, selecting various items with surprising dexterity.

"That's Frizz," Cedez commented. "She keeps our food fresh and cools the entire place during summer."

"You have summer?" Dave blinked. "How is there even a summer on an inverted world that doesn't have an axis?"

The tentacle withdrew from the coldbox, laden with an assortment of ingredients. It glided over to a nearby counter where more tentacles grabbed several knives, slicing and arranging the food with precision.

"Ah," Cedez said languidly, "our sun orbits around the black hole, rotating along with it. There's a period when the sun's light reaches us constantly, creating what we call our 'summer.' It's a season of eternal sunshine."

Dave tried to visualize what she described. "So, during this 'summer,' the sun never sets?"

Cedez nodded. "Exactly. It's always daylight then.”

“Soooo… there’s no night in Shandria during summer?” Dave asked.

“No night in the wilds outside of Shandria,” Cedez clarified. “In Shandria, Nightningale makes sure that nights happen like clockwork. The cloud covers the entire city, creating artificial twilight. It’s still warm, but it’s darker and spookier.”

“That’s nice of them,” Dave commented.

“Uh-huh. Nightey is our city's extra-diligent protector," Cedez explained, her tail swishing lazily. "Keeps the bad stuff out, you know?"

Bessie's tentacles deposited a plate of beautifully arranged sandwiches made from sliced salmon, fresh bread, and capers on the table. The plate slid smoothly across the surface, coming to rest perfectly between Dave and Cedez.

The foxgirl uncurled from the couch and grabbed herself a sandwich. Dave did the same, watching her eat.

“What?” She asked.

"You eat stuff? Not very ghost-like of you," he pointed out.

“I function like people during the day," she commented, her mouth full of salmon sandwich. A caper fell from her lips, bouncing off her chest and rolling across the floor. She watched it go with a mournful expression.

“And at night?” Dave asked.

"At night, I probably turn into a terrifying shadow dragon-centipede that feasts on the hopes and dreams of innocent puppies. One minute I'm a sophisticated cafe maid, the next I'm just a hungry monster that noms things. Nom nom nom.”

Cedez nommed her salmon with sharp fox-chompers, making Dave shudder ever so slightly.