The Other Side: A Second Chance

The commute back to my aunt and uncle's house was quiet and immensely stressful. Even Varis, my usually happy-go-lucky brother, knew something was up. Unlike me or my family, he wasn't aware of the consequences that my nonchalant use of magic could bring. I knew what I did was "wrong" in a practical sense. Morally, however, I felt justified in what I did. While I didn't see the man was going to croak if I hadn't healed him, I knew by simply looking at him that things weren't good. To have Kegan vindicate my assumptions was all I needed to know to conclude that what I did was right.

Of course, I'm coming at this from a biased angle, but surely, my family will go around. Yeah, the people I helped worship the same beings that the Master said are out to kill us all, but they're still people. That's not just the emotional kid brain in me speaking; even past me, I couldn't sit still knowing they could snap their fingers and fix this.

It's just a handful of people who know what I can do. I'm hedging my bets on these strangers, but I hope—I hope they keep this tiny bit to themselves. Isa asked them when we left, and they all seemed open to not mentioning it. So maybe, just maybe, this can all be swept under the rug.

Yet, who am I kidding? I'm sure the others outside praying knew something was up the moment I left and Marco was walking again. The faceless strangers who watched me come and go will probably spread the word of a little girl who cured the saint that had led them all to safety. Only time will tell what's to come.

I hope Mother and Father will be more open to speaking rather than getting angry. Why am I so scared? Mother and Father aren't going to go ballistic; they never do. I've only seen Mother lash out when Mr. Blaxen came to our home. She's gotten upset and disappointed before with Varis and me, yet she was never this vulgar and violent, being my crazed brain keeps imagining her as.

Goddamn paranoia. I keep thinking they're going to get mad like my old parents. I love them, my old folks, yet I could never stand how they treated me or my brothers. But my current family isn't them. I have to tell myself that. Momma has only slapped me once, and that was when I saved her. I'm still conflicted on that, but it's the only time.

Thankfully, or not, maybe this will just add more fire to the fire in my consciousness. When we returned to the house that evening, no one was home. Isa opened the door to the home and gestured for Varis and me to go inside. When I walked past Isa, she stopped me.

"Luna, I'd like you to sit in your room for a bit until your parents are home," she said as her eyes narrowed on me.

I gulped and nodded. "O-Okay," I sighed. Well, here we go again. Am I going to be grounded in my room? Forced to do chores? The one aspect of childhood I didn't miss.

Without putting up much of a fight, I went to my room. "Why is Luna in trouble?" I heard Varis ask. "She helped someone, didn't she?"

I sighed as I stopped outside the room and listened. "Luna broke a rule that your mother explicitly told her not to. "

"Helping people?" Varis said, sounding confused. "Why is that something we're not allowed to do?"

Isa audibly sighed as I heard her and my brother walk into the kitchen. "You know your sister, Varis," she said. "You've seen how special she is."

"Y-Yeah," he said clearly, not knowing where this was going.

"Luna can do things many people—no—most people cannot. Such people would be eager to receive your sister's aid; however, such attention also attracts a lot of bad people. People we don't want to help."

I heard my brother hum, and I could imagine him nodding his head. "So, Momma doesn't want Luna to attract bad people. Who are the bad people?"

I heard Isa sigh once again. "That's a jabber den I don't want to get into. Just know that Luna isn't supposed to be using magic right now."

"But who's going to teach me?" Varis exclaimed, and my heart froze for a second.

"Excuse me?" Isa said questioningly.

"I, uh, mean, who's going to show me cool stuff?" Varis said in a squeaky voice.

You rat bastard, I told you to keep it a secret! I gritted my teeth, opened the bedroom door, and stepped inside to await my punishment.

 

---

 

It felt like torture. Absolute, unbridled torture. Trapped in this dark, foreboding room. The ceiling fan above hummed softly as it spun; the small magrite light cast a faint blue glow in the room, aside from the sounds of the city outside the bedroom window. It was utterly silent. Faintly, I could hear Isa and Varis in the other room down the hall, yet their voices were muffled.

I was alone. All alone. A bookshelf sat in the corner. I skimmed over them, yet nothing stood out to me. All were either random history books or ones about works of artificery, which is somewhat interesting, yet there is nothing I want to read now.

Admittedly, the urge to read all the books in this world faded a bit back when I lived in Oren. When I learned to read Maurich, I was eager to throw myself at the nearest book to gobble up all the lore I could, as if this were some video game world. In the first couple of years since then, coming up to just about last year, I had grown tired of reading. Just like in my past life on Earth, there's just so much.

There's so much to learn; it's overbearing, and thus, my mind reverted to how it was previously. I'd only grab whatever piques my interest rather than burn out on everything. All in all, I'm trying to say that nothing on this shelf interested me, and it was torture.

The grandfather clock said it was roughly eight in the evening. The sun was starting to set still, and it's only been thirty minutes since I'd been in this god-forsaken room. God, I'm so bored already. I whined and stretched my legs out.

I was currently lying on my bed. I had kicked off my boots, flopped onto my back, and stared at the fan above me. Usually, I would sleep during times like this. Yet, I couldn't. My mind was wired, and my thoughts were clear. I was nowhere close to being able to force myself into a nap.

There had to be something to do that could pass the time. So, I decided to roll off of bed with a little grunt. I smoothed out my dress and began to poke around the room. There were two beds here, one for Varis and the one I just hopped off of, which was mine. Technically, there was a third, but it was a bedroll on the floor for Isa. Most of her belongings were laid out beside the bedding, and part of me was curious to see what I'd find within her satchel, but better judgment kicked in, and I chose not to do so.

Let's not get into any more trouble, Luna. I thought to myself and glanced around some more until my eyes fell upon the box below the frame of my bed.

"What's this?" I muttered out loud. I hadn't seen this earlier when I first came in. I got on my knees and crawled over to the wooden box, pulled it out from under the bed, and noticed that it wasn't just a box but a chest.

My eyes widen with excitement, and I glance around all sides of this box. There were no signs or iconography to suggest what it was, and most of all, it had no visible lock. Curiosity was kicking in; I just had to open it. Lifting the latches, I lifted the lid and gasped at what I saw.

Clothes. That's a lot of colorful clothes!

They were not ordinary clothes either. They were small people-sized—like Varis and I were small. They were fresh, comfy clothes that I could swap into rather than wearing the same underwear or shirt for days on end. I never knew I'd be so happy to see extra garments. I wanted to cry a little.

But I didn't. I took a deep breath and smiled widely. There were socks, panties, boxers, shirts, and more skirts—pretty much enough here for Varis and me to have a few outfits to cycle through. Grabbing a cute blue shirt with frills, I lifted it and smiled widely before noticing something I hadn't seen beneath the pile I had tossed.

"Huh?" I blinked and reached into the box, and suddenly, my cheeks began to burn a bright red.

Grabbing it by its strings, I hoisted out of the box a tiny black bra. Clearly, it was meant for a girl a little older and more developed than me, but I think I knew why it was here. I glanced down at myself; obviously, my chest was still growing, and I still had the pains from time to time, but honestly, fighting for my life constantly these past few weeks had made me easily forget about it.

The tiny buds weren't even visible through my dress, at least not this one. I've worn thinner clothes back home, and they were somewhat noticeable. The cups on this thing, though, made it seem like they expected me to grow into something huge! Well, I'm exaggerating a little, and also… Mom is pretty big, so maybe. My intrusive thoughts butted in, and I shook my head and tossed the bra back into the box.

"Nope! Nope!" I shook my head. "Too young, too young for those kinds of thoughts!" I clapped my hands on my cheeks. "B-Besides," I said out loud to myself. "We probably got, like, another half a decade before we need to worry about wearing these things, right?" I asked myself and glanced at the vanity mirror in the room. My eyes met my own, and I gulped. "Right?" I laughed nervously.

Momma said elves mature pretty quickly, so maybe sooner… but…

I shook my head. "No, no, that was a nasty conversation." I crossed my arms into an X. "Never shall I return to that memory." I shuddered.

Taking a few moments to relax, I looked at myself in the mirror again as my thoughts began to wander. What will I look like in the future? I asked myself, though thankfully, the degenerate thoughts were kept at bay as I thought about how I'd probably look like my mother. Varis, for the most part, seemed to be a carbon copy of our father, save for the hair and multicolored eyes, whereas I seemed to be a copy of Mother.

If you're going to be a copy of Mom, you'll definitely need a bigger bra—

"Gaaah! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" I exclaimed, clamping my hands over my ears. "I thought I snuffed those thoughts out. No, no, no!"

There's nothing wrong with being excited about how you'll look! It's awesome—

"Nope, nuh uh, no. This time, I'm going to be wholesome, lovable, and cute." I stated this to no one but myself. "No, horny, no creepiness, nothing." I crossed my arms and nodded my head.

Yet, something clawed away at the back of my mind—a small, creeping voice of a mind goblin that's always been there. Hiding. Waiting. A small aperture deep within my consciousness has ever so slowly reared its ugly head, and whenever it does, it says,

"Stop lying to yourself."

"Gyaaah! No!" I buried my face into the side of my bedding. "No, no!" I sat back on my rear, pulled my legs up to my chest, and hugged them. "I made it very clear, me. We are not doing anything weird or fucked up—"

"Until—"

"Err, no. Well…" I sighed. "Why am I even thinking out loud?"

Because you're bored, I thought to myself.

I groaned. "I'm not a creep. I'm not a creep."

Then why do I have such weird thoughts now and again?

I whined. "Because I'm young, dumb, and got all that hormone shit momma said, it's normal for humans, elves, and pretty much mammals in general to go through this!" I explained to myself. "I'm not a creep."

Mentally, you're not young and dumb, though, and you know that. My thoughts raced.

I bit my lower lip. "Th-that's true, bu-but I didn't ask for that; I'm a kid again, and thus I experience everything else that a kid gets to experience."

But that sounds like an elaborate excuse, isn't it? How old would I be right now if I were still alive in another life? Thirty four? A thirty-four-year-old man was trapped in a little girl's body.

I gripped my long, pointed ears, yanked them down, and shook my head. "No! No! It's only weird if I put it like that," I said. "I'm not him anymore. I'm not. He's gone—dead. I'm Luna now; I'm seven years old; I'm going through what every little kid goes through," I said to myself, but still, inside that dark crevice in the back of my mind where that voice sat within my subconscious remained.

Just keep telling yourself that. It would mutter. No matter what you do in this life, you'll be nothing but a creep.

I shook my head again. "No, I won't."

Remember how you felt when you realized who you were in this life? What sex are you?

I was about to scream when I suddenly heard a knock on my door. I jolted right and turned, relieved to have a distraction from my ruminations. "H-Hello?" I said.

"Luna," I heard my mother on the other side. "May I come in?"

I bit my lower lip as my heart began to race. She's going to realize you've been wrong. That little goblin in my mind chuckled.

"Yes," I said, still sitting among the clothes and chest.

When my mother opened the door, I was surprised to see she was wearing something unexpected. She was wearing a delicate, form-fitting suit, skirt, and red tie, and to my shock, she even had makeup such as fine red lipstick and liner that made her sharp blue eyes pop.

"Oh… wow…" I couldn't help but mutter as my mother closed the door gently behind her.

She turned to look at me, blushed when she realized I was looking her over, and smiled. "Your aunt forced me to doll up before going to the office today, not something I'd normally wear." She chuckled.

"You look really pretty!" I said, smiling widely.

My mother awed softly and said, "Thank you. I haven't done myself up like this since back at the Concodrium." She chuckled and crossed her arms gently as she looked down at me. "And I see you're trying to doll yourself up too." She nodded towards her chest of clothes.

I blushed and said, "I-I found these and was just… looking through them."

My mother chuckled and walked over to my bed, where she sat on the edge of it. "Your aunt and I went through them earlier this morning before we went off to work after you left," she said. "Both you and Varis should have enough clothes to make it through a week." She smiled.

I nodded and glanced back down at the chest, which lazily tossed on it was the bra that was still visible. My mother snickered upon seeing me burn a bright red upon seeing it again. "Give or take a year; you'll be wearing that." My mother giggled.

"N-No I won't!" I blurted out as my anxieties began to rear their heads again.

My mother laughed even louder and nodded. "Oh yes, you are. I know this because you come from me." She winked.

I opened my mouth to object but stopped when I realized how stupid I was about to sound. Seeing this, my mother giggled and patted me on the head. "Oooh, is someone afraid of growing up?" She smirked.

I wiggled my way out from under her hand and shook my head. "N-no… I just… feel weird."

My mother's smile faded slightly, and she said, "There's nothing to worry about. It's like I said back then: I had to go through this—we've all had to. It's all part of becoming a woman."

Gah, fuck, I wish I could just tell her why I feel weird! My mind screamed. But obviously, that'd be stupid. 'Hey, Mom, did you know I'm actually some grown loser inhabiting your daughter's body?' How the hell could I explain that to her? It's not the puberty stuff that's bothering me; it's the fact that I'm just me who's going to experience this!

Stop… calm down… Take a deep breath.

So I did. I took a deep breath and said, "I know, Momma, it's just… I was surprised." I smiled at her.

My mother giggled and said, "I get that." She leaned back and crossed her arms under her chest, and I gasped when she propped her covered breasts up with them. "If you'd like, I could show you how to put it on."

"Ah-ah-ah…uh….geh…" These were the only sounds I could muster before shaking my head. "I think I'll pass on that." I looked away.

My mother laughed again. "Oh, you're adorable when flustered; okay, we can try later…" She sighed and said, "Well, let's change the topic."

For the love of all that is holy, please. Please change the topic, Mother.

"Isa told me what happened today," she said, and I bit my lower lip. "I want to hear from you," she said as I put all the new clothes back into the chest. "Tell me everything."

 

---

 

I told her everything. Down to the tiniest details I could remember. I had nothing to hide, and she surprisingly came off as approachable. Unlike past instances, telling my parents anything, for the most part, led to me getting into deeper trouble. However, my mother remained calm and listened. She never interrupted me; her eyes remained soft yet focused. She never even changed positions; her arms were still crossed beneath her chest, and her legs crossed over each other as she sat on the edge of the bed.

I was across from her, on Varis's bed, my heart hammering in my chest as I spilled the beans all over the floor for her. "And I ran back to Kegan, told him what I did, and he said that he feared the guy was going to die that night anyway. So, uh, I think I did a good thing."

"And the priest Marco and his family came to thank you?" my mother asked as the story ended.

I nodded. "Yes, he, the other priest, Kaleb, and some others I didn't know." I gripped the bedding tighter.

My mother nodded slowly before eventually letting off a deep groan, and to my surprise, she flopped back on my bed with her arms outstretched. "Darn it!" She audibly whined, and I blinked with surprise. "Gaaah, why couldn't you just listen to me?" My mother whined again, like a pouty teenager.

I blinked again with shock as my mother sat back up, uncrossed her legs, and leaned forward. "Gaah, why did I have to give birth to such a beautiful, loving, and empathetic daughter?" she said before getting up and coming over to me.

"Wait… a-are you not mad?" I asked as my mother sat beside me. Without warning, she draped her arms around me and yanked me into a hug.

I gasped and tried to scream but was smothered by her breast going directly into my face as she cuddled me. "Of course not!" She said, "At least I'm not mad at you for saving another person. I could never be angry at you for doing something nice." She said this as she smothered me with her body. "I am disappointed that you didn't listen, but…" She trailed off. "After hearing what Isa said and then what you just told me… that did sound like the right call, but…" She bit her lower lip. "This could have unintended side effects."

Finally, my mother pulled away, freeing me from her bosom of smothering and allowing me to breathe. Taking a couple of breaths, I said, "I-I know…" I took a deep breath and recomposed myself. "I-I'll try not to do it anymore."

My mother said nothing at first, so she got up off the bed and walked around me as she went towards the door to the room. "You know why I said not to use your magic, right?"

"To not attract unneeded attention?" I said, and she nodded slowly.

"Exactly," she said softly and then took a deep breath. "I knew I wouldn't be able to stop you from using your powers. You really are a little angel, Luna." She looked back at me. "There aren't many people, aside from your father, who can show such empathy."

I blushed faintly and said, "I just don't like seeing hurt people, that's all."

My mother nodded slowly. "The rule is still set though, Luna, but… I'll amend it. Only use your magic when necessary—and I mean, necessary. If someone is dying and you can stop it, sure, but no willy nilly use. Got it?"

My eyes lit up, and I smiled widely. "Got it!" I beamed.

My mother turned to leave but stopped once more and said, "And one more thing, Luna."

"Yes, Momma?" I said.

"You have a heart of gold," she said, and my eyes widened as she side-eyed me from over her shoulder. "Don't let anyone ever take it from you."

With that, she opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, leaving me alone with my heart fluttering. After a few moments, I shook my head and recomposed myself.

"D-Does this mean I can leave the room now?"