The Nature of Predators

Memory Transcription Subject: Taylor Trench, Human Colonist

Date [standardized human time]: February 9, 2161

It was a goofy suburban one-story home, with baby blue shutters and a few garden gnomes scattered about—like something out of a television sitcom instead of reality. After exiting the vehicle with Gress and double checking that this was the right one, I began the long walk down the driveway. It was nothing compared to crossing the entirety of the Tellus cavern to get to the elevator to the surface, yet I felt like I was moving in slow motion. The lump in my throat expanded, while my stomach felt like Smiglis were crawling around and burrowing into its lining. Fear coated my palms in sweat, more palpable than even when I’d lifted my helmet to show the Krev a human face for the first time.

I can’t do this. I’m going to just turn around, and they’ll never know I was here; Gress will have no way of knowing if I say that it’s the wrong address. I want to get as far away from here as possible—back to Tellus, forget being an ambassador.

The Krev grabbed my shoulder as I spun on my heel, and tugged me toward the door. “No way am I going to let you leave them wondering what happened to you. I know you’re scared, but we’ve talked about this: about not letting fear control you. About doing hard things to grow. We’re seeing this through.”

Tears rolled down my face, while I dragged my feet being pushed up to the front porch. I could imagine growing up here under the blue sky, running around on this proper lawn with real, freshly-mown grass; I remembered that feeling of the sun first hitting my exposed face on Tellus, now contrasted with Sol’s radiant glow burning my scalp. After nearly dying of heat exhaustion in the desert, after Mafani snatched me, I knew the downside of living in this warm climate—and didn’t care. Actual fun and happiness, with people who cared about me and were there for me. This could have been my life. They sent me away so long ago, what did it matter now? Should I be…angry, just like I always was?!

“I’ll knock,” Gress sighed, as I stood staring at my shoes; the arch-supporting attire that the Consortium military provided didn’t have a human design, with it looking like a toe glove by the ends of our feet. I was just some random, ratty man showing up on their doorstep, who looked like he was doing his best imitation of Tarzan. I’d be embarrassed to have a son that turned out like me. “It’ll all be okay, sweetheart. I promise.”

I squeezed my eyes shut with shame, unable to look as he rapped his claws against the door. The waiting felt eternal, as I hoped that they weren’t home; maybe they were both still at work, or otherwise occupied. I distinctly remembered my parents had both worked from home, like most Terran specialists—life on Earth was awfully cozy—but that might’ve changed. I cringed as I heard footsteps hustling toward the door, followed by another confused voice asking, “Who is it?” Gress jabbed his claws into my hip, forcing me to look. It peeked open a crack, before swinging ajar fully.

A silver-haired man’s eyes had gone wide, perhaps recognizing what a Krev was. His gray irises watered when he looked at me, before his voice spoke with hope. “Taylor?”

I nodded, still unable to speak; I felt disgusted within my own skin. My father rushed forward without any hesitation, swarming me with a hug. His hand pressed against the back of my skull, the hair that I’d grown out quite a bit in recent months, and brought me into the warmth of his chest. His sobbing like a baby only made my weeping worse. The affection and comfort—seeing that my parents loved me in spite of what I was…they didn’t know. I didn’t want this to end, to be ruined! My legs gave out, and I fell to my knees. My mother had limped outside at the sound of my name, pressing a wrinkled hand to my cheek.

“Taylor,” Mom whispered. “We’re sorry. We are so sorry for letting you go. We thought we’d never see you again, and it broke our hearts; the guilt of leaving you all alone, God knows where. Please, come inside, tell us everything that happened to you.”

I looked up at my parents, shaking my head. “No. I’m a horrible person! I’m a vindictive, stupid, emotional mess.”

“Don’t say that,” Gress interjected. “You’ve been through so much; it’s okay to be emotional. You’ve grown a lot since we first met, and I know I haven’t seen your full potential. You’re a good person that deserves a better upbringing.”

My dad stared at the alien. “I agree with what you said, but I’m sorry—who are you?!”

“I’m Gress. Taylor’s boyfriend.”

“Oh. Okay then…”

“Yeah.” My cheeks burned with self-consciousness, coming home with—no, I wasn’t ashamed of Gress. It was the thought that something was wrong with me, wasn’t it? “W-we’re together.”

“I wouldn’t think you’d go for someone so…green—”

“But what matters is that he’s happy and that he’s home,” Mom finished, pulling me to my feet. “Come inside, both of you. I’ll make lasagne: it was your favorite, Taylor. Your squishy little face would light up when I said the word.”

“I..I don’t remember. It’s all fuzzy.” I noticed how Gress’ eyes twinkled at the thought of me with a child’s squishy cheeks, and realized then that he was going to see baby pictures and hear embarrassing stories. “I mostly remember the day I was sent off, and a few random things. I know most humans love their moms’ cooking, so, um, I’d love to try it.”

“That’s quite alright, my sweet boy. Then you get to experience your favorite food for the first time!”

“Can Krev even eat lasagne?” Dad asked. “I read that they’re herbivores.”

Gress raised a paw. “We eat meat sometimes. I’ve tried human food before. If the dish has dairy, that might make me a little sick, but it does that to many of you too! It’s worth it, and it’s really adorable that you love milk so much as babies that you keep drinking it as adults. Don’t worry about me. I’m here for Taylor.”

“You’re a guest in my house, I’m not going to leave Taylor’s significant other with slim pickings. I’ll make you something special. Why don’t we get you both in the nice AC?”

I nodded, draping my arms across their shoulders as if I had a broken leg; it felt like a symbolic moment, crossing the threshold into the cozy home of two old predators. While the Krev bestowed lavish dwellings upon us, that hadn’t been most of the Tellus experience. I remembered it taking years to even install air conditioning, despite how hot it was. The priorities had been to secure a deep-underground water supply, to stabilize our crops, and to drill a living space where we could hide from Krev eyes. The ark ship had its comforts and amenities, and was a temporary place to stay, but it offered little concealment. While building lodgings, we also had to get the mines up and running to pay the rent. Heat exhaustion was a common death.

I don’t think Terrans appreciate how quickly the comforts of modern life can slip away, and it all goes to hell: the stone ages are always just one disaster away. There’s a false security in this idyllic life, but it’s not an illusion I got to have.

The Krev bubbled with excitement to look inside an actual, human-built home and see how we really lived, back on Earth; he contained himself, but I could see it in his reflective eyes. I supposed, all in all, this homecoming had gone well so far. My parents had taken me in and embraced me like I was never gone, and there hadn’t been that much of a reaction to Gress’ closeness to me. At least the objection seemed more to be a bit of judgment over choosing an alien, rather than my orientation. Most Terrans probably thought it was weird to develop feelings for a green-scaled mammal, though at least they were less overt with the stares than the Tellish. I didn’t know what people on Earth thought of the Krev, after the attacks that had transpired.

“So…” I ventured, clinging to the both of them as if my life depended on it; my mind was of a small child, desperate for his parents not to leave him. “The Krev were fighting the United Nations. How do you feel about them?”

“The Krev abused humans—abused my son—for twenty-four years,” Dad grumbled. “I know enough to be pissed about that.”

Gress bowed his head in shame. “I was appalled to learn we were exploiting primate refugees who had nothing. It’s the Consortium’s greatest mistake, more so than attacking Talsk and Aafa: these were entirely innocent victims who had already been abused, and who are the very creatures we love inherently! I couldn’t be more sorry for my part in causing pain and suffering, and all I can offer now is my sincerity to help the Tellish; I want them to have everything they can dream of. Including Earth.”

Mom cleared her throat. “Without the Krev, ah, launching their attack, we would’ve never known our son survived…and they did try to help when they learned the truth about who our people were. I don’t think they intended to fight or hurt humans at any point.”

“The Krev public? Certainly not. But our government won’t appreciate any attempts humanity makes to curtail their surveillance or their natural tendency to…ball up and find a threat. When the Fed remnants are gone, then what can they point at?”

“C’mon, aren’t you exaggerating how bad the KC is?” I asked. “They crossed lines, they’re a surveillance state, but they were created under extreme circumstances. They helped and protected the Tellish.”

“If they hurt cute, baby-faced primates with no fur, there would’ve been mass chaos from the Krev people. You were useful anyway. Humans showed how terrible the Federation were and drew a ton of sympathy—galvanized everyone to the cause!”

“You think General Radai was insincere about wanting to protect us and keep us safe? He tried to expose the corrupt part of your government, and he’s at the top: he directed the war, and I know he wasn’t using us for sympathy.”

“I take it you two have this debate a lot?” Dad chuckled. “I don’t know a lot about the Consortium, but I want to know about you personally, Taylor. We’ve missed so much of your life.”

Mom bit her lip. “The United Nations wouldn’t even look for you; they said it’d be impossible to find you. I thought we could’ve at least…sent out a message. When we heard they found your ark, there was no way to send a message for weeks—then you weren’t even on Tellus. All we could learn was that you were on the captured ship, and that it was a massacre. We thought you were dead…”

“I’m not. I think…I was the only survivor,” I muttered with a hint of guilt. “I surrendered when I realized there were humans on the other side. You don’t understand, I thought I was protecting the kids—the only hope of rebooting humanity.”

“That’s very noble and brave to risk your life for the future generation, Taylor. That’s not something a ‘horrible person’ would do.”

“You don’t understand. I was Mayor Hathaway’s lapdog, and I was a kiss-ass that did whatever it took to stay out of the mines. I caused a drilling accident by pushing the production…to try to get a damn promotion. People died because of me not listening to engineers and common fucking sense. Then I attacked Gress for wanting us gone, which could’ve made the Krev slaughter us all! I would’ve gotten the last humans, for all I knew, killed over a fit of rage. Over my failure.”

“The drill was an accident; I pressured and threatened you. You had a concussion because of that, and anyone could’ve exploded under that kind of pressure,” Gress placated. “At the time, I thought you were greedy squatters taking advantage of us—how laughable that is, looking back. We were angry that we didn’t know who or what you were.”

“I know that, but I didn’t trust you.”

“Why would you? It was a case of mistaken identity on both sides, where we both could’ve verified more. You wouldn’t budge on opening up, so I was…done with you. I thought so lowly of you and just wanted you gone; who wouldn’t be angry that everyone in the universe wanted them gone?”

“I hated being human. I hated the Krev. Nothing out there was EVER kind to us!”

“It’s understandable. Your pain is valid, and I’m so sorry for my part in it. You’re not a horrible person.”

Mom squeezed my torso. “I agree with Gress; it sounds like these things just happened. You’re a kind person. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Yeah, but I…wanted to attack the Sivkits when they came to Tellus. I wanted blood; that’s why I joined the military!” I shouted.

“You and every other human who thought the Federation destroyed Earth and finally had a chance to protect themselves,” Gress countered.

Dad rolled his eyes. “I wanted to kill the Feddies after what they did to Earth: a billion humans dead isn’t like we got away scot-free on a picnic. We rebuilt inch by inch, and it’ll never be the same. Someone has to pay for that. It’d be weird if that didn’t piss you off.”

“What Bill means is that wanting revenge for humanity’s extinction is natural, and that you weren’t alone. Maybe it’s not right, but that doesn’t make you horrible, sweetheart,” Mom said. “The fact that you think it’s wrong says a lot. I’m sure you just didn’t want to let Tellus be killed off too.”

“Yeah.” I sniffled, thinking back to the panic I’d felt on the bridge over the thought of the Federation finding us—of them coming to stomp us out like the last embers of a fire. “I wanted what was best for humanity. I didn’t mean to hurt or sabotage us, I just…bungled everything.”

“Nobody would’ve been perfect in your shoes, whatever they might think. No one but Mr. Elias Meier himself is a robot.”

Gress’ eyes narrowed. “That’s what they want you to think.”

“Nobody wants me to think,” I mumbled.

“Enough of this mopey talk, Taylor. You’re a Trench, and we’re made of sterner stuff than all that. I would’ve taught you better—and I still will,” Dad announced with certainty. “You’re home. You’re going to stay here as long as you want; we’ll take care of everything, and make up for lost time.”

Mom smiled. “Absolutely! Your place is here, Taylor, and you’ll always have that. You’re a part of this family. We never stopped loving or thinking about you; nothing will ever change that. I’ll help you get settled back here on Earth.”

“What? No, I’m only staying here while we need someone to broker a peace with the SC and talk shit through in the immediate future.” I leaned back on the couch, taken aback by how quickly this had been thrust upon me. “As soon as I fulfill my agreement with the UN, I’m going back to Tellus.”

“What? Why would you want that?!”

“I know it doesn’t mean anything to you, but my whole life is there; all of that bullshit can’t have been for nothing! Everyone I know is there. My life with Gress is there, and I won’t just leave him—that’s his home, and where his daughter is.”

“Don’t stay for me. I want you to be happy, Taylor,” the Krev said, eyes glistening with sorrow.

“I am happy with you! It’s the only time in my life I’ve been loved.”

“Your parents love you too, and they’re right. I told you as much when we first landed, that you should live under this sky and that you shouldn’t worry about fitting in. You belong on Earth; it’s all you ever wanted, to go home and have human civilization back. It was your overarching dream, the loss that haunted you. I wouldn’t keep you from that. You should stay.”

“It’s all too little too late, Gress. I’m a fish out of water. I can’t just move back to Earth like it never happened and forget about you, about Tellus! It’s not that simple.”

My mom shared a look with my father, before holding my hand and giving me a pleading look. “Just think about it, will you? At least stay with your poor old parents for a few days to think it over.”

I stared around at the living room, and finally let my eyes wander to the pictures on the wall and the mantle; Gress had definitely been looking at them when he implored me to stay. The emotions hit like an uppercut as I saw a young me in a soccer jersey and bright cleats, while a much-less-wrinkly version of my father crouched behind me—with windswept hair and dark sunglasses over his binocular eyes. I could see a photo of my mother holding me as a baby, while I suckled from a bottle with my little hands. Earth might not have felt like my home for a long time, but this was my family. I could be…a part of something again.

Would it be foolish not to stay, when my flesh and blood was here, welcoming me home?

I gave a shaky nod. “Alright. I’ll think about it.”