The Mother of Monsters

Mack had been a gamer since he was small, he enjoyed games, he played them all the time and in particular he loved roleplaying games. Especially the lore in the games. He had escaped from a life of feeling distant from his family and other people into these worlds where it felt like other people could depend on him, that he mattered, that he could make a difference. Then he’d died. It was an accident, a pointless moment in what he felt like was a pointless life in many ways. A domestic dispute between two people who had barely paid him any mind his entire life, a gunshot, and the regret of not being able to finish the storyline he’d started that morning.

When he woke up in Orum, he felt like he’d been given another chance. A chance to be the hero and to live a life where he felt like his actions had an impact, consequences, that he mattered. He’d met Delilah and she’d quickly realized that he was a fair bit younger than her though he’d taken pains to hide that when he had made his character or new body. She became like a big sister to him in a matter of hours as they traveled with the rest of their small group and he’d felt a kinship with her that he couldn’t quite place. Maybe she had felt lost in her past life as well. He didn’t know.

He’d started his new life with the Aspect of Presence, the ability to control how people saw him to a degree. It wasn’t fancy and it certainly didn’t have any effect on the more important people in the world, but it made him feel cool. Up until the first swarm of manikins had descended on their lost and confused team. All he could do was hide and even then the manikins, those faceless nightmares, had shown no mercy when they found him. His first death had been painful, terrifying. It was even scarier when he came back and for a moment felt like there was no escape.

Ultimately, they’d survived and struggled their way to Katal where a few of them had been welcomed with open arms. Delilah was one of them, but when she realized that Mack would be left behind she had chosen to stay at his side. The guilt was unbearable. Yet they’d fought together, ate together, struggled together until they decided to flee to Osan, to the Queen that stood next to them. A queen that turned out to have once been a general associate at a small game shop in Chicago. Someone who had just died and was dragged here to play in someone elses game, just like him, just like everyone else.

The truth had taken away a bit of the shine of this world. The reality that he was like one of those high resolution characters on a screen and someone was watching through it. It made it feel like he wasn’t in control. But then Teyva had finished her story and explained that she had defied the Cycle and the implication that it was not only fallible but that they had free will brought him full circle. They had a choice, all of them had a choice. He remained silent when Delilah pressed the queen for what they should do now that they knew the truth. 

The truth, a lot of it was just flowery lore but he loved the lore in games and he felt it in his bones that she wasn’t lying about the background stuff. More importantly, as the story went along things began to add up in very uncomfortable ways. It fit together but also heavily contrasted with the narrative that the Katali had given them, had spoon fed them. Had spoon fed all of the others.

“I have a fairly straightforward goal,” The Queen said, walking down into the gardens with Delilah in tow. Mack had to force his legs to move to catch up, “I aim to get strong enough to challenge Cycle, win this game and push the bastard into a corner” She explained, “I want to force him to give up on continuing the Cycle and if I can, I want to kill him,” She ground out, clenching a taloned fist. 

Mack looked up at her, wide eyed. His ambitions felt so small in comparison. He just wanted to help where he could and make a difference, to feel like he mattered in someone elses life. She wanted to kill a literal god. He started to feel small again, just like he had felt back in Katal. The only difference was that this person wanted to support him. Was it really okay for him to get this reward? This chance? Weren’t there more worthy people out there who could make a difference with her help?

“Mack? Are you okay?” Delilah asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s a lot to take in, I know, I’m sorry for overwhelming you,” The Queen said with a motherly smile, turning towards him. He looked up into those four eyes and felt his stomach twist, he wanted her to be scarier. Conventionally speaking he should think she’s scary, frightening, ugly, but she just felt safe. Like the mother he should have had when he was little. She tilted her head, “I’m here to listen,” She added.

He looked down at his feet, his mind trying to figure out something to say but the only words that came out of his mouth were awkward and weird, “What about the others?”

“Mmm?” The Queen hummed, confused.

“You said you’re going to win, that means your going to fight Katal, right?” He asked.

“That’s right,” The Queen said with a nod.

“What about the others? The others who came here because of that Cycle thing?” He pressed, drawing up a bit of nerve to look up at her again, “There are some bad guys in the guild, yeah, but there are some good people too. Real good people! They’re just as bad off as we were!” He pointed at Delilah and himself, “If you fight Katal, you’ll have to kill them, right?” He looked down, “It’s not fair.”

The Queen regarded him for a moment and he waited for her to laugh at him, to tell him he was too young to be questioning her or thinking about important things like that. Just like the other adults in his life had. Instead, she lowered herself down a bit into a crouch and got to his eye level. She reached up and touched his cheek, her talons were cold, but it wasn’t bad. They didn’t even feel sharp. She turned his head and made him look her in the eyes, “What do you think I should do?” She asked, her voice quiet and soft. “What does that big heart of yours tell you?”

He bit his lip and tried to look away but she just tilted her head with a grin, “Don’t look away. You have the Aspect of Presence, don’t you? Embrace that confidence that’s a part of you now.”

He forced himself to look into those warm, glowing yellow eyes, “I… I want to help them. I want them to know the truth too. They should be here! With me- and- with Delilah. Not um…” He stammered and cleared his throat, she just waited patiently for him to try again. “If we can convince more of them, can they come here? Heroes for your side!” He declared finally.

She raised her eyebrows and looked at him with a bit of surprise. She stood up and her lips thinned, not with annoyance but with contemplation. “And how would we make that happen?” She finally asked.

“You could come and-” He froze and shook his head, “No that’s insane. You’re the um… sorry… Demon Lord,” He said the title with a bit of a low voice, “B-but Delilah and I could-” He scratched his head, “No, that won’t work either, nobodys going to believe us!” He let out a sigh, “You need clout for people to take you seriously in the guild and the people who are barely getting by don’t trust easily,” He let out a huge sigh and shook his head. “No it won’t work.”

“Mack…” Delilah said, shaking her head.

The Queen regarded him for a while longer, “You know, Mack, my father, the previous king of Orum, taught me a lot about how doing the right thing often means doing what’s hard or even seemingly impossible,” She said and smiled, “I bet many people told him that it was insane to try to find peace with Katal, that it wouldn’t work.”

Mack’s shoulders slumped, “But he failed.”

“He did,” The Queen said with a heavy nod, “But he changed the world while trying.”

He looked up at her wide eyed and she put her hands on her hips, grinning at him, “It’s a great idea. One that my father would approve of without a second thought. So let’s chase every option until there’s none left, there has to be a solution out there and I have some pretty smart people working for me,” The Queen said and winked, “If I can’t figure it out, I’m certain one of them can. If this works, if we figure something out, you’ll have saved a lot of lives Mack.”

Mack felt tears well up in his eyes, his lips trembled and he lowered his head, bringing his hands up to his eyes. He felt a knot in his chest that he had never truly realized was there begin to loosen a little as a wet stream went down his cheeks. He barely heard as the Queen began to fret and try to apologize for upsetting him somehow. He couldn’t make out the words, his head was a fuzzy buzz of warm thoughts and unfettered joy. He’d never felt like his word mattered to anyone before and now a Queen was not only taking his advice, but rolling with it.

He wept, with all the relief in the world as he realized he’d made the right choice in coming here. This was where he needed to be. “Thank you,” He croaked, “Even if it doesn’t work out, thank you ma’am.”

There was a small pause as the Queen realized the real reason for his tears and reached out to put a hand on his shoulder before pulling him into a hug and stroking the back of his head. “Call me Teyva,” She said gently and he nodded into her shoulder before glancing up at Delilah who positively beamed at him with pride.