The Mad Rat’s Lab

I have a bad feeling.

Don’t ask me why, it’s just one of those things you can’t explain… The thing is I have a bad feeling, but I don’t know why.

I shake my head to dispel the doubts and refocus on my surroundings.

We’ve been investigating a peculiar domed room we found ten minutes ago. The walls are filled with drawings, as well as inscriptions that look like text, though none of us can understand them.

I’m unsure if this is from a real language or an invented one, though.

The drawings are in an ancient style and have parts that have deteriorated over time or because of the battles that occurred in the labyrinth. In them, we can see a bunch of dwarves doing several things.

How do I know they’re dwarves? They look like burly humans with long beards. If not dwarves, what else could they be?

So, as I was saying, the pictures show what I can only assume to be the story of this place. I’m not sure if this is the correct order or not, but after discussing it between ourselves for a while, we’ve all agreed that the pictures, and thus the story, must go like this.

First, a bunch of dwarves are prostrated in front of a king. The king is pointing to the ground. He looks excited. In the second picture, the dwarves are excavating a tunnel.

The next one shows the king holding something shiny. What it is, I have no idea, but there’s something dark and blurred behind him. Something that looks ominous.

In the fourth drawing, the dwarves are surrounded by weird creatures. They wield weapons and are covered by full metal armor, but it’s clear they’re losing the battle. After all, more than half of the dwarves lay on the ground, dead. The perturbing part of this drawing is that some of the dwarves that are still alive, as well as some of the dead, have deformed parts that look too similar to the creatures surrounding them.

What's even more perturbing is that those creatures don’t look like any of DMA’s units, but some of them do look like the creatures we’ve found during the Mystery Event. Like the slime with a skeleton that we found a while ago.

There’s a fifth drawing where other humanoids, this time not dwarves, discover what happened. They’re depicted building this room and sealing the entrance while battling against the hordes of monsters.

And in the middle, in the ceiling, there’s one last picture. But this one has a large gash splitting it in half. Most of the remaining parts have fallen off. From what remains, it’s only possible to identify something glowing, possibly what the king was holding, and what seems to be humanoid figures.

By the way, in case you’re curious. The pictures, starting with the one with the throne, go from left to right. So yeah, it didn’t take long to figure out their order unlike I was pretending.

I’m sorry, I was kidding, hahaha!

“So a dwarf king gets obsessed with digging deeper and discovers something that should have remained hidden. Furthermore, that something brings doom to the whole dwarven empire…” I mutter.

Is it just me or does this plot sound familiar? I could swear I’ve seen this before somewhere.

“...furthermore, the surrounding nations are forced to invest troops to seal the disaster.” Well, at least this part is new. “Then, does this mean we’re tomb robbers? Tomb robbers who came into a place they shouldn’t be?”

Haha, as if tomb robbers ever go into places they should go into. That’s why they never find traps, monsters, curses, illnesses, or angry ghosts when they go inside.

“Balmy!” I shout towards the ceiling, where our annoying Fairy is closely observing the last missing clue of the puzzle. “Did you get anything else from up close?”

“No, not really. The only difference is…”

Balmy’s voice is muffled by Muribelle, who suddenly starts shouting. “Who are you? Don’t get any closer or I’ll attack. We got here first, so scram!”

“Huh? More players? What are they doing here?”

Curious, I look at the single entrance to this room. There, I can see the figures of four players. They’re all ready for combat.

The one in front, which I can only assume to be their leader, looks at Muribelle with a wary gaze because she’s blocking the path forward. “Please, move. We aren’t here to fight.”

“And how do I know you aren’t lying, huh?” Muribelle insists.

Isn’t she afraid of dying? Balmy can resurrect her if she dies, but this is a last-resort type of skill. It reduces the stats after each use. We should avoid using it if possible.

The number of players has been dwindling since the start of the Mystery Event. They might have died because of other players or because of the monsters… or maybe they got tired and disconnected.

But I’m sure most of them were defeated by the Calamities.

Anyway, any team that has died must be because of one of the following reasons: either they were extremely unlucky, stupid, or unskilled. Maybe the three. I know because I’ve been facing the same obstacles as them, and the only justifiable reason for having died so far is if they encountered a Calamity and were unable to run away. There shouldn’t be anyone who ran out of MP or EP and died because of it unless they’re bad at this game.

The thing is that at the start we found another team every one or two minutes, but the rate at which we find them has decreased steadily.

Why am I saying this?

It’s because it’s weird that, now that there are fewer players, we find a team and they want to go into this room filled with pictures and words written in an unknown language. It can’t be a coincidence. They must be interested in this room and are ready to fight for it if needed.

“Hey, hey! Calm down, Muribelle.” I intervene before the situation escalates. “I’m sure they’re telling the truth. Is perhaps… is your mission related to this room?” I guess. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

The leader opens its eyes wide. “See? I knew it! You’re waiting here to ambush us!”

Hey! Don’t spout bullshit so suddenly! If we wanted to ambush you, why would we be standing in plain sight? And why would Muribelle shout?

“If we wanted to ambush you, why didn’t we hide? Can’t you see it makes no sense?” I shake my head. “Tsk, tsk, tsk!”

Please, don’t be like him. Be like me and use your brain before talking. Like I absolutely always do.

“We don’t want to fight,” I say, walking closer. “In fact, we might need some help… but anyway. Why are you here?”

We’ll need the help of at least another team to defeat a Calamity… unless we take an all-or-nothing approach, ready to die trying.

But you can’t go asking ‘Hey, do you want to risk your life with me?’ to someone you’ve just met, can you? First, we need to curry their favor, making them feel indebted, and then we can ‘force’ it upon them.

It’s an infallible plan! Fufufu! Hahaha!

“I have no reason to answer you.” The leader crosses his arms in a defiant mode. “Now, can you let us pass?”

A tough nut to crack, I see… Then, it leaves me no option but to–

My thoughts get interrupted when another member of their team suddenly steps forward, grabs the leader, and pulls him in. His reaction looks like he just realized something important.

They then hurriedly whisper to each other while the two other members nod.

When they finish, the leader takes his previous position and looks in my direction. “Khm! We’ve talked about this and… Um, how do I say this? Is it true that you’re the Evil Maste– Mmfh, mmph!”

I jump to reach him, making us fall to the ground, and then cover his mouth. Luckily, the rest of his team doesn’t take this as an attack, but they show surprise.

Is he fucking crazy!? Does he want to invoke them to this place!?

“Shht! Don’t you dare say this name in the presence of other players! What would you do if they heard you? You never know when there’s one of them camouflaged as a normal player.”

I look around for… looking around just in case they heard it. Luckily, there’s no one around other than the members of our two teams.

“Read here,” I say, pointing above my head, where my nickname is displayed. “Call me Koala and forget about that name.” When I stand up, I extend a hand to help him stand up. “Uh… sorry about that. I lost my composure.”

“...it’s fine. I… I don’t mind it.”

He’s too bewildered to get angry. As you know, it happens sometimes: you get so surprised at something that you forget you should get angry.

So, before he remembers, it’s up to me to keep him focused on something else.

“There’s a reason why I don’t want you to use that name, so please use Koala instead, hahaha…” I awkwardly scratch my head. “Anyway. Yes, you’re right. It is me! The great ME! Me, and the ragtag following after me.”

“Grrr…. Don’t call us that…!” Furious, Balmy starts biting my ear. When did she come so close? Did it happen while distracted by the other team?

“Stop it!” I automatically react, slapping her away like one swats a fly.

“Kyaaaah!”

“Ugh… this is one of the things I hate the most. Don’t do it again, you hear me?”

Balmy, having been slapped away, glares at me but doesn’t dare say anything. Yeah, glare as much as you can, but keep your mouth away from me and my ear. Her actions are a bit over the top, but I guess it’s understandable that she got angry after being called a ragtag.

…I have a conscience, okay? It sometimes doesn’t look like I do, but I do.

“Khm! ...so, as I was saying… These are Muribelle, Moo, and the annoying Balmy.” I point at them when saying their name. “Oh, right! Before you introduce yourselves, come inside. I welcome you into our humble abode.”

They all send me weird gazes – and yes, this ‘all’ includes my own companions – but nobody says anything. Their gazes hurt.

“...aren’t you going to introduce yourselves?”

“Oh, uh… yeah…!”

The leader snaps out of it and starts the introductions. Of course, we can read the nicknames on top of their heads, but being able to read them doesn’t mean they want to be called like that.

“My name’s Calaban. And these are Navigator, Warpoke, and Thunder Thighs.”

Thunder Thighs!? Are you kidding me!? Why would anybody want to be called like that!? Well, I know someone with an even more lame nickname than that… Khm, Ricard, khm!

“Thunder Thighs!? Are you kidding!? Puhahaha!”

“Muribelle…” I warn her. I don’t want to start this relationship on the wrong foot.

“Pfft…! Sorry, sorry! I’ll stop laughing!”

The one called Thunder Thighs, which by the way is a woman, waves her hand to dismiss my worries. “Don’t worry, I’m used to it. Most people react like that, but I like it anyway.”

I thought so. It’d be weird not to laugh.

Before the conversation continues into something weird, I decide to return to the important topic.

“Calaban and the rest of the team. What brings you here? We found this room by chance when evading one of the Calamities, but it seems like you were headed this way. Is there anything of interest in this room?”

“We… Well, we came here because…” Calaban hesitates. He must be thinking if he should tell us the truth or not.

He observes the reactions of the rest of his team. Thunder Thighs, the single woman in their team, who is using a Lamia Champion, the famous woman with a snake tail instead of legs, doesn’t react. She’s too busy inspecting the pictures.

Yeah, you’re right. I think so too. She wants to be called Thunder Thighs but she doesn’t even have thighs. It makes no sense.

It’s one of the mysteries of life, I guess.

The typical orc, Navigator, grunts and shrugs his shoulders when Caliban looks at him. And Warpoke, the one who recognized me, one of the stupidly handsome elves, nods enthusiastically.

By the way, Calaban is an undead. Which kind, I’m not sure yet because he hides his body and head with a dark robe. But the glowing eerie blue fires in the eye sockets are unmistakable.

“Alright, I’ll tell you,” Calaban says. “It’s because of our mission. It says to investigate the areas marked on the map. This room is the first one we reached.”

My reputation as the Evil Mastermind precedes me, hahaha! This is why Warpoke quickly agreed to share such vital information. Heh, it’s a good thing that everyone believes I’m such an uptight and intelligent man. Someone who can plan everything ahead of time and foresee my enemy’s actions.

And with this I mean it’s good… as long as it doesn’t come back to bite me, I mean.

You might ask why this is vital information. Well, if they had any other mission, it would be completely irrelevant. But a mission that asks to ‘investigate the ancient texts’ can’t be irrelevant.

There must be something hidden in this labyrinth! The secret to the Mystery Event! And I’m sure there’s a prize for who solves this mystery!

And now we not only have one of the clues to reveal it, but we also met a team that can help us find the others.

We hit the FUCKING JACKPOT!

“Fufufu! Hahaha!” I start laughing. “This is perfect! Come here, Calaban, my buddy.” I grab him by the shoulder and pull him closer.

“What are you doing…?”

“You see… it just happens that we got what might be the most difficult mission, which is to kill a Calamity.” He makes a surprised face but I ignore him and continue talking. “The thing is that, thanks to it, we can know the location of the closest ones. What do you say? Do you want to team up? With our help, you’ll be able to avoid them. 

“Well, you’re right they were our biggest concern…” I can imagine it. I’m sure we would, too, if we didn’t have the star markers on our map. “...but first, I need to talk with my team.”

“Oh, sure, sure. Talk it with your teammates.”

Hahaha! We’ll soon have our ticket to victory! I’m sure they’ll accept.

“Hey Koala. Why didn’t you ask us? We all need to agree to this.” I hear a nagging voice from next to my ear.

How did she get here again!? Didn’t I just send her flying? And I mean literally.

“Yeah, I’m sure you have a plan and all that. But why didn’t you ask for our opinion? This deserves punishment. Burning punishment. Fuhahaha!”

“I don’t mind. The mooooooooore the merrier! Mooooohahaha!”

Sigh… it seems I’ll have to convince my foolish teammates about my plan. The amazing plan of allowing the others to do all the work and then leech off of their success.

“Although you should build your Champion to your strengths, never forget to have your weaknesses covered. This applies even if you plan on playing in multiplayer exclusively. The reason is simple: you don’t want to be incapable of doing something if your teammates or support mobs aren’t there. 

Allow me to give you an easy example. Not all of you need healing skills that can recover your or your teammates’ HP, but you should have at least one skill that helps you stay alive for a longer time. Dodge, damage reduction, attacks that trigger when you take damage, invulnerability shield… Whatever you choose, you should be able to stand your ground when the need arises. Otherwise, the healer will be forced to waste lots of resources on you, harming the chances your team will survive in the long run.”

- Excerpt of an interview with a top DMA player.