The Mad Rat’s Lab

“Defeat a Calamity... Shit.”

The only mission I didn’t want was, of course, the one we got assigned. Is someone playing with my life, making it as miserable as possible?

“If you press there it opens a minimap with some markers. Do you think those are the Calamities?”

“Moooo, I’m sure of it.”

“T-this is good, we can use the markers to avoid them until we’re ready.”

 “Minimap…?”

My teammate’s comments awakened me from my depression. When I press the button they’re talking about a map appears in front of me. 

It’s… empty. Well, most of it is empty.

I’m not sure if it encompasses the whole Mystery Event or what, but the map shows an area that’s at least the size of a big city.

How do I know this? Because, as always, the only part that’s drawn is the parts we’ve visited, which in this case is just the square rock room we’ve spawned in. Compared to the black space surrounding it, the room looks tiny: not bigger than a grain of salt on top of a black table.

The rest of the map will fill in as we investigate the surroundings. No worries here.

The closest area of the black map contains star markers, with an arrow next to them. There are about ten of them. I don’t believe all Calamities are near us, located inside a perfect circle, it wouldn’t make any sense. So I’m sure it only shows the ones within a certain range of us.

But they aren’t moving. Why? Shouldn’t they be… I don’t know, chasing innocent players like us?

Ah, here it explains it. In the mission description, it says that the current position, as well as the general direction they’re moving in, of the closest Calamities will be updated every five minutes.

Balmy’s right. Ironically, the markers that tell us the location of our objective will be the most useful tool to avoid them.

Hah! I pity the other teams, unaware of the danger they’re in…

“...”

…I’d swap with them anytime.

I want to cry. Even if we know where they are, we can’t run away all the time. We must defeat one of them if we want to get the mission’s rewards. And the rewards are too juicy to ignore.

Man, how much I wish I don’t accidentally encounter my sister… After provoking her earlier, she must be fuming… I shiver.

“I should focus on the event for now.” I shake my head and start walking to the single entrance to this room “Should we go, team? We’ve wasted enough time.”

“Yeah! I’m ready for some action! Remember to leave me enough time to provoke the monsters we find and we’ll be fine. Mooohahaha!”

Muribelle and Balmy follow silently after us.

After a short passage made with the same stone as the room, we reach an underground tunnel. As soon as we come out, the entrance to the room disappears, turning into the same rock found on the outside.

“It was some kind of safe room as I thought… so that we could organize ourselves without danger…” I mutter, to make myself look smart. Truth is, I didn’t think about it at all. “Now we’re in danger. Take care, everyone.”

“Don’t worry, Evil Mastermind. Leave the front to Moooo!” Moo strikes his chest in enthusiasm.

“Didn’t we agree you wouldn’t call me like that?”

After so long, I don’t mind it anymore, but… I’d rather avoid people recognizing me because of that name. Especially people from a certain group of ‘totally normal’ players. Pay special attention to the sarcasm.

“Eh, ah… yeah. Sorry. Koala, then. Mooohahaha!”

It’s at this moment that Muribelle comes closer. She extends her hand towards Moo.

“Hey, hey. Moo. What do you think will happen if I touch you? Will I take damage? And will that damage be higher than the amount you take or lower?”

“Do you want to try?”

“Yes!”

When Muribelle touches Moo, a sizzling sound is produced. “Ouch!” She quickly retracts her hand, surprised. But then, she starts poking him repeatedly, producing a sizzling sound every time. “So I do take damage. Hehe, it’s kind of funny. Don’t you feel it, Moo?.”

“This pain is nothing. I’m used to it. You’ll need something stronger than this. Mooohaha!”

“Hee… something stronger…?” Her eyes lit up in anticipation.

I knew it! She’s as crazy as Ricard! I’m sure she’s thinking of using some crazy spell that will obliterate us all! I must stop it!

“Stop hurting yourselves!” I put myself between the two before they do something crazy. Pairing a masochist with a pyromaniac isn’t a great idea. “We’re a team. Even if we have a healer, we should avoid taking unnecessary damage. Don’t you agree?” I wait for them to nod before continuing. “Let’s move into the formation we talked about and start exploring.”

“Okay. Mooooonsters, come at me!”

“Just when it was getting interesting… *Sigh!*”

Interesting? INTERESTING!?

Hey, is there anyone who wants to swap teams? No, nobody? I knew it.

As we take formation, I move to the middle of the group and leave the others to take charge of the front and back. It’s the safest position, so it’s mine.

For some reason, the annoying fairy lands on my head and uses me as a free ride. “Don’t do this.” I slap her away, like one does with a fly.

“Fine… I’ll walk on my own.”

Yeah, act like a grown-up for once, Balmy.

 

---

 

The underground tunnel continues, branching off and connecting to others. But unlike what you’d expect in this kind of labyrinth, the path changes elevation, turning this into a 3D labyrinth. Some of the tunnels go up, some go down. They connect at different elevations or cross over others. It’s a true 3D labyrinth.

It’s similar to my dungeon in this regard. But these tunnels feel a lot more organized, are straighter and so far, we haven’t seen any dead ends.

This layout is perfect for ranged attacks. Not so much for flyers, though. Although flying is an easy and fast way to reach the elevated tunnels and platforms, the ceiling is too low to make a huge difference. Furthermore, to benefit from it, all members of the team must be able to fly, which isn’t feasible.

Unless you’re alone and can fly, both at the same time. Like a certain older sister of mine.

The tunnels we’ve found so far aren't natural phenomena. They aren’t completely artificial either.

I know, I know, it doesn’t make much sense, but it’s hard to describe.

Imagine… how do I explain it… Yes. Imagine a dwarven road constructed inside a narrow natural tunnel. Parts of it are excavated, widened, and flattened, to allow carriages to pass through it. Add columns to reinforce the structure, as well as some carvings on the walls. Stairs are carved to access other roads connecting to this one at different levels, next to amazing wooden structures, possibly elevators for the carriages themselves.

But everything looks old. Crumbling. Decrepit. As if abandoned for at least a thousand years.

Dust covers all the surfaces, the wooden platforms look as if they would collapse with a single touch, and the engravings are worn down. Furthermore, there are large battle signs everywhere.

I… I’m not sure I want to imagine what happened here. Well, according to the lore, you know what I mean.

“It’s quite an amazing atmosphere, don’t you agree?” I comment. “I wonder what’s the story behind this place.”

“Do you think it’s part of the Mystery Event? Will we receive bonus points if we clear the mystery?” Walking behind me, Muribelle asks a very logical question.

“I don’t know. But I wouldn’t be surprised if it were.” I shrug. I’m more worried about clearing our main mission than any other bonus we can get.

“Heeee. And I thought mister Koala would know everything because he was oh so smart.”

I glare at Balmy, who’s orbiting around my head. “Shut up, shorty.”

“Shorty? I’m not a shorty! I’m tall for a fairy, ok?”

“Heh.”

“Don’t laugh at meeeeeee! Kyaaah!”

And here we go, another session of fur-pulling. I’m used to it by now. I do it myself when I’m bored, stressed, or angry; so as long as she doesn’t start shaking my head around, it’s just a massage to me.

“Koala, when will we find the first monsters? It’s boring when the mooooooost interesting thing we’ve found is a rock.”

Are all melee players muscleheads? Hmm… no. Ricard is brain-dead after all. It isn’t exactly the same.

I’m sure he’d be happy if I told him this, though it isn’t exactly a compliment.

“Don’t complain. It’s the best when you can have an easy time.”

“But don’t we get points when defeating moooooonsters? At this rate, we won’t get any.”

Ah, he’s right! We receive bonus points when defeating monsters, according to their strength. I almost forgot about it!

“That’s right. We should defeat as many as possible.” I look around in excitement. “Monsters, where are you? Don’t worry, we just want to talk… Fufufu… Haha– Waaaaah! Save me!”

Suddenly, from the ceiling, a grey tentacle appears and grabs me, pulling me up.

A monster turns visible soon after, revealing a giant octopus. Its flesh is gray, and its eyes are an eerie blue, and parts of its body are missing. It’s extremely disgusting.

“An undead octopus? What the fuck?” I exclaim. “Undead octopuses shouldn’t exist!”

I struggle, but the octopus doesn’t let go of me, so I resort to casting Chaotic Beam. But the status effect it randomly applies ends up being Burning.

A fire film covers the octopus, making it even more terrifying.

“Shit! Aren’t you going to help me?”

When I look below, angry at my teammates, I discover three more of those octopuses attacking my teammates. It’s utter chaos, though the culprits aren’t the monsters but my teammates.

“It’s time for the Great Muribelle to show off her new skill! Tremble in fear, octopus, because I’m going to burn you into ashes!”

“Kyaaah! No! Leave me alooooone. Go attack Moo insteeeead.”

“Moooohahaha! Yes! Hit me moooooore!”

I will ask again, just in case. Does somebody want to swap teams? No…? Shit.

 

---

 

After defeating the rotten octopuses, we got 10 points for each one.

The points are accumulated as a team, each player will receive the same amount of rewards once the Mystery Event ends. This means that splitting can lead to a higher reward, but that only stands true if the whole team survives. With Calamities roaming everywhere, I don’t think it’s a good idea.

“Why don’t we go investigate one of the Calamities? If we find one that looks weak we can defeat it, don’t you agree?” Asks Muribelle.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I shake my head. “We should discover more parts of the map before. In case we need to run away we’ll need an escape route.”

“B-but look at this one. It hasn’t moved since the last update. There’s no arrow displaying where it’s going.”

“Hm? Let’s see…”

In response to the voice sounding right above my head, I open the map. The map, now with a few tunnels filled, has changed since the last time. The position of all the markers around us has changed, to be more specific. All of them but one.

“You’re right. How weird…”

Why isn’t that Calamity chasing after players? Shouldn’t it be looking for us?

“Ah!” I suddenly exclaim, remembering a part of the rules I read. “It must be settling its domain.”

In the rules, it explained that Calamities can alter the labyrinth and create a zone that works to their advantage. Since the Mystery Event is still in its beginning phase, they may be still working on it. This gives us an advantage. If the Calamity is distracted by modifying the surroundings, it’ll make it easier for us to take a look.

“This might be our chance to investigate without much risk. What do we do? Shall we take a look?”

Nobody disagrees, so we decide to go in the direction of that marker.

“By the way… when are you going to leave my head, Balmy?”

“B-but I’m scared...” She buries her face into my fur.

“Sigh… fine. Do as you please.”

As we advance in the direction of the star marker, we reach a tunnel that’s larger than any we’ve seen before. At about ten meters wide and five meters tall, this one must be one of the main roads of these old ruins.

On our way, we find other bizarre creatures. Monsters like goblins resistant to elemental damage; a pack of wolves that could use the fairy’s Trickster skill; or an abyss-like troll, with its characteristic Regeneration skill but with lots of tentacles and eyes covering its body.

It’s clear the DMA developers created skins for some of the most iconic monsters of the game.

It must be to prevent players from quickly identifying the monsters. Or maybe, it has to do with the ‘background story’ of this place. I don’t know.

“Can you feel it? It’s getting hotter.” Says Moo, as soon as we’re at about a hundred meters from the marker.

How do I know the exact distance? I don’t. I’m just guessing according to the speed we’re moving through the map.

“Now that you say it…” I thought it was my imagination, as I got nervous about the possible fight against a pro player. But it turns out it’s real. “...it indeed is getting hot.”

“Is that so?” I hear Muribelle from behind. “This is nothing. Allow me to demonstrate my skills and you will know what true heat means!”

“No, stop. We’re here to investigate, not to fight.”

“Okay.” She happily answers.

We continue walking in silence. Finally, in silence. It’s the first time the three of them have stayed quiet for more than five seconds.

The previously neutral ambient light starts taking a reddish tone, and the heat keeps increasing. Since this is a game, only the feel of heat is felt. There is no sweating or health problems caused by it.

The tunnel takes a sharp turn to the right.

Still in silence, we stick to the wall and pop our heads out, taking a peek into a large room a few meters away. This is the largest room we’ve seen so far.

Inside, there’s a massive magma waterfall dropping into a red lake. The ground, walls, and ceiling are black.

Right in the middle of the lake, there's a majestic throne, upon which a male humanoid figure is sitting. Black wings on its back, horns on its head. I can’t see it properly from this distance, but it must be a dragonborn or a demon lord.

Is he reading the dungeon menu…?

As if to answer my question, the man turns his head and looks straight at my eyes.

No way! Can it read my mind!?

…hahaha. I know, I know. That’s impossible. It must have been a coincidence.

I believe I’ve seen that guy before, fighting on equal grounds with my older sister. If we fight here, where the terrain favors him, we have no chance.

And I thought we would be able to sneak inside, undetected…

Without standing up, the man points at us and a red circle appears next to him. He’s about to cast a spell.

“Retreat!” I command. “Quickly. We’re making a strategic retreat!”

I want to leave this clear: we aren’t running away, we’re retreating. They’re two very different things.

 

Most players didn’t know yet because the Mystery Event rules didn’t explain it in detail on purpose. The Calamities who settled down to create their domains didn’t do so because they wanted to, but because they were requested to. They had a different role from the other Calamities. The players would discover this soon.