The Impeccable Adventure of the Reluctant Dungeon

Upon arriving in the dark chamber, Theo found Avid, Amelia, and Ulf standing back-to-back, their weapons drawn. Even the annoying griffin was circling above them, keeping a sharp eye for anything suspicious. It was almost heartwarming how much the three had grown. There was no complaining, silliness, or posing. After the ballroom experience, the trio had become perfectly aware what a deathtrap the estate was and were ready to protect their lives.

The only reason that the dungeon wasn’t happier was that he had dropped the ball; more specifically, he had let the monocle escape. Somehow, the annoying entity had managed to melt through the block of ice while the avatar was engaged with the blood spider and had vanished somewhere in the dark corridors. Liandra and Theo had desperately tried to find any tracks or remains, but there were none—as if the entity had teleported out of existence.

“Baron!” Amelia said the moment she saw him. “You’re back.”

“Yes, yes.” The avatar waved a hand with indifference. The floating sphere of light made that more than clear, just as it assured him that none of the adventurers were injured. At least that was good.

Using his identification ability, Theo carefully examined all aspects of the floor and room. Fortunately, nothing appeared to be cursed. Unfortunately, there was no telling where they were. The corridor was assuredly a lot longer than the entire length of the castle and also at a barely noticeable angle. As a dungeon, Theo knew with absolute certainty that they were at least a mile and a quarter from the ballroom and likely three feet beneath the surface. From what he could guess, this had to be the edge of the cursed estate, forcing the corridor’s sharp turn. The main issue right now was that there was no telling where to go.

“Did anything happen while we were gone?” the avatar asked.

All three of the adventurers shook their heads.

With an internal grumble, the avatar looked around. There were three corridors in the room. One was from where he had come from, one continued onwards, and one went towards the castle again, as far as Theo could determine.

“We should continue onwards,” Liandra said, looking to the north.

“We can always go back to where we started,” Avid said.

Instantly, everyone turned his direction.

“And pick the other side of the corridor,” he quickly added.

The idea had some merit, but no one—least of all Theo—wanted to go all the way back. Strictly speaking, they didn’t have to pick any corridor. He could easily use his room creation method to walk through walls and continue any direction he wanted. Thinking further, maybe that wasn’t a bad idea at all. They were already on the edge of the estate. A bit more and they could safely escape, at which point the adventurers could return to Rosewind and Theo could focus on the quest without having to worry about them.

Without any explanation, he went to the only wall without a corridor and placed his hand on it. A wide empty room appeared, continuing further.

“Alright,” he began. “We continue this way until we get out of the—”

Blood red roots shot out from below and above, quickly splitting the newly created room in two. The abomination, whatever it was, clearly had no intention of letting them go so easily. Naturally, Theo could try to create more rooms—this time with reinforced walls—but something told him the outcome would be the same.

“On second thought, it’s better to deal with the abomination first,” he said in a firm voice. “If we don’t, it will keep on sending zombie letters and do untold damage to the kingdom and the world at large.”

No one said a word, still looking at the pulsing blood roots. In their mind they were picturing more blood roots shooting out and capturing the baron in their grip. Seeing that they were causing a distraction, the avatar quickly used his dungeon skill to erect a new wall in front of them.

“As I was saying,” he added with a note of annoyance, “our best option is towards a place we’re familiar with. It would be pointless if we were to stumble into a trap. As every adventurer knows, the key to success is—”

“Courage!” Amelia quickly said, then glanced at her two companions with a smug expression on her face.

“Being prepared,” Ulf said, crossing his arms.

“I think maybe having good gear and companions?” Avid guessed, at which point he and the other two adventurers looked at Liandra, waiting for her response.

“Planning,” the woman said, firmly. “The success of every mission is planning ahead.”

“That’s right.” The avatar forced a smile. He had been about to say scouting, but now that he heard the heroine’s version, he liked it more. It sounded a lot wiser—exactly something a veteran would say. “And in order to be able to plan, we need to scout a bit,” he said, adding his own two cents to the conversation.

Creating three dozen more spherical fireballs, Theo sent a group along each of the tunnels, leaving a single one to provide some light. He then used his dungeon skill to modify the room, causing a round table to appear with a large crystal ball in the middle of it.

“It’s the first time I’m using this,” he said as he activated his fire scrying skill. He had acquired the skill way back when consuming a demon lord heart. At the time, he hadn’t found it useful in the least. It was expensive, not to mention limiting for everyday use. Given the present circumstances, though, one could almost call it perfect for the situation.

A single image appeared in the crystal sphere, displaying what one of the fireballs was seeing.

“I know that spell!” Amelia said proudly. “It’s scrying!”

“Yes, it’s a version of that.” Theo nodded.

“Why not use floating eyeballs?” Ulf asked.

The question was rather sensible. The truth was that the option had completely slipped the dungeon’s mind. Even in his previous life, he had been guilty of overcomplicating things when there wasn’t any need to. Floating eyeballs were a far easier spell, not to mention it required a lot less energy. Then again, agreeing with the adventurer would mean admitting that Theo had made a mistake.

“This way all of us could see what’s going on,” Amelia said with confidence rivaling that of a duke. “Think a bit before talking. Besides, what will the eyes see if there’s no light?”

“He’s a mage. He can see in the dark.” Ulf grumbled.

“Well, yeah, but these can also be used as a means of attack,” Amellia insisted.

“What did you say was the most important thing during a mission?” Liandra asked in a sharp tone, quickly putting an end to the arguments. “Good. Now pay attention! Theo shouldn’t be the only one exploring.”

As time went by, scrying quickly changed from an exciting, almost thrilling experience, to the boring experience everyone with a TV remote and no interesting channels had experienced. No matter how many times Theo switched from one fireball to the other, the view was exactly the same: dreary, dark tunnels with nothing of consequence inside. Occasionally a minor change would occur—a crack on the wall, a larger pile of ash on the floor, or some other difference—before everything would return to the standard monotony.

“That’s the ballroom opening,” Avid said with half a note of enthusiasm. “Maybe we’ll find something interesting later on.”

“Yeah,” Ulf grumbled. “Maybe there’ll be cobwebs on the walls.”

As unappreciated as the comment was, Theo couldn’t help but feel concerned. While the rest of them saw nothing but boring tunnels, he had been mapping the corridors and, so far, could only come to a single conclusion: there was no point to them.

While initially they had seemed like part of the original castle, that no longer seemed to be the case. Rather, it seemed that someone had made a perfect copy of a corridor and copied it to form a mass of pointless tunnels that formed a large square grid beneath the entire cursed estate.

“Liandra, can you take the ring out?” the avatar asked. “I think it’s time that we question her.”

Personally, he would have preferred to discuss the matter with Spok, but the spirit guide was still “on break” and he had promised not to disturb her during that time. Apparently, the council baroness had invited the “steward” and was having a long and boring conversation concerning all sorts of matters.

Cmyk was also nowhere to be seen. Theo had sent him to bring a few vital materials to Switches and had yet to see him return. For the first time in his existence, it could be said that the dungeon was left entirely to his own devices.

“Are you sure?” Her hesitation was palpable.

“We don’t have any choice. Besides, she won’t be going anywhere.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Liandra took the ruby ring out of the pouch.

Given the entity’s affinity to incessant chatter, it was expected that she would start threatening and complaining at the very first opportunity. Against the odds, the ring just remained there completely silent, pretending to be an inanimate object.

The avatar looked at Liandra—who looked back—then at the ring again. Just to be sure she hadn’t somehow escaped, leaving a fake ring in the process, he cast an identify spell on her again.

Lady Raffel Leevek (cursed)

Lady Raffel Leevek is a minor noble of no importance who has been cursed to take on the form of a ruby ring.

Creating a needle of ice, the avatar blessed the tip, then poked the ruby on the top of the ring.

“Ouch!” the ring said. “You brute! How dare you treat a lady in such fashion! I’ll tell my husband to—”

“Your man ran away the first chance he got,” Theo quickly interrupted.

“Oh…” If the ring was a balloon, she would have deflated halfway by now. “It’s all part of his plan to rescue me, I’m sure.”

“Mhm.” Theo had never married in his previous life, but he had become a specialist at spotting bullshit. The monocle had probably rushed off to hide in a corner of the tunnel maze, where he’d remain until the group was cursed, captured by the abomination, or died of hunger. “What’s the point of the tunnels?” he asked, completely ignoring her previous statement.

“What makes you think I’ll tell you anything? You ruined my beautiful collection. It would take ages to fill it up again. And I was so close to getting a full set of thieves, too. Some of them were notoriously difficult to find. True collector’s items.”

“You can always recapture the old ones,” Avid suggested from the background, before quickly getting hushed by Ulf and Amelia.

“Young man,” the ring said with a sigh. “It’s clear that you know very little about real collecting. It’s both a journey and a goal. A noble doesn’t just “fix” broken pieces, no matter how valuable they are. We aren’t savages, after all. Maybe if some of the unique ones are completely undamaged, I might consider keeping them, but for the most part, I’d have to rely on new visitors.”

That was a scary thought. Even after the series of minor victories, there remained a large number of cursed letters out there, each with the power to bring a person to the estate. The clock, as the saying went, was still ticking.

“The tunnels.” The avatar moved the ice needle closer to the ruby again.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Lady Leevek said with an indignant voice that was reserved for theatrical performances. Unfortunately, it did her little good, as a sharp poke quickly made it clear how little Theo cared. “Ouch! Alright! I’ll tell you!” she quickly responded. “It’s obvious that there isn’t a single chivalrous bone in your entire body. I pity your ancestors and your entire family tree!”

“They’ll get over it.”

“I’m sure,” she countered in the most snobbish tone she could muster. “The tunnels are a maze.”

“Amazing,” the avatar said, earning himself a few chuckles from the adventurers.

“Oh, but it is. My ancestors created it generations ago for the sole purpose of guarding the family treasures. It is said that at one point, the vault held a treasure that could rival the king’s.”

Finally! Theo said to himself. This was the first bit of good news he’d had since setting off on this cursed quest. If there was a treasure, it was very likely that there was a mana gem or two among the valuables. As long as he got that, he’d be able to get rid of his curse. Maybe all this effort wouldn’t get wasted after all.

Unfortunately, there was one small problem: Liandra. There was no way she’d agree for them to go treasure hunting. Apart from the moral implications, it didn’t help resolve their immediate predicament. Then again…

“How do we get to the vault?” the avatar asked.

“You can’t be falling for this,” Liandra said sharply. “I bet there hasn’t been a treasure for generations.”

“Oh, there’s a treasure. Maybe not as much as before, but—”

Before the ring could finish, the heroine had quickly put it back into the pouch.

“What did you do that for?” The avatar looked at her.

“She wasn’t helping. Even if what she said was true, there’s no time for treasure hunting. In a few days, the kids will start dropping off. We need to find a way to get out of here before that. Not to mention—”

“I asked for the vault,” Theo interrupted. “Not the treasure.”

“What’s the difference?”

“What’s the difference?” The avatar crossed his arms, giving himself time to think. “Sometimes you surprise me. You saw the castle, right? It’s a chaotic mess of cursed items and rooms and hallways arranged in random fashion. There’s no way an abomination would stay there. If it’s anywhere, it will be below ground, hiding in what used to be the core chamber of the previous occupant of the estate.”

Liandra paused for a moment, then paused some more. There was just enough logic in what the baron was saying for her to find what she wanted to hear.

“You’re saying the tunnels were created by a dungeon?” she asked.

“This whole estate is built on the corpse of a dungeon,” the avatar said with absolute conviction. “The vault doesn’t lead to a treasure room. It’s—”

“The way to the core of the dungeon,” Liandra finished the sentence for him. “Are you sure?”

“Well, I can’t be sure about anything.” As anyone experienced in office culture, Theo was quick to instill some conditions he could later use as excuses. “But it’s better than wandering aimlessly about. As you said, we have a limited amount of time. A few days and the kids will be useless. But if we find the abomination’s lair by then, we have a chance of doing something about it. After all, I have a few spells just for such an occasion,” he lied.

Now came another moment of truth. Had the dungeon managed to convince the heroine, or had he gone over the top?

For several long seconds, Liandra kept staring into his eyes without budging a muscle. Then, her right hand moved to the pouch.

“I hope you’re right about this.” She took the ring out. “So, where’s the vault?” she asked.

“Interested, are you?” The ring asked smugly. “You can’t seriously think I’ll just tell you that? Before that, we must come to some sort of arrangement. It’s only fair that you promise to let me go in exchange for that information. As a heroine, your word will suffice. I wouldn’t dream of you accusing me of lying, after all.”

“Here’s the arrangement,” Liandra said unceremoniously. “You tell us how to get to the vault and my friend won’t use his ice needles on you. And believe me, with his skills, he can create a lot more than needles.”

With this, the negotiations came to a quick resolution. The ring promised that she would lead them to the vault in exchange for a pain-free journey. Naturally, it was stipulated that all traps and guardians—should such appear—were entirely the responsibility of the group.

Since Theo was eager to get to the treasure, he quickly agreed. On their part, since everyone else was certain that the baron had a well-thought-out plan, they agreed as well. In less than a minute, the group was already making its way through the maze of tunnels, following the directions of the ring.

Every now and again the dungeon’s avatar would instruct the group to step on a certain spot on the floor, or push a conspicuous-looking tile on the wall. It was “pure coincidence” three times out of five a trap would be triggered, causing steel spikes to pierce through the avatar, or release a small group of skeletal guardians. The first was ruinous for the attire, but not a big deal. The second was an excuse for the trio of adventurers to gain a bit of actual training. Theo found the idea wasteful, but Liandra kept insisting that he stop looking after the trio and let them experience the real world for a change. Given that the only potential core points were negligible, the baron agreed. Reaching the vault was far more important, even if it was clear that the ring had no intention of keeping her end of the bargain.

“Oh dear,” she said in the fakest tone possible. “I think I might have gotten lost again.”

This was probably the tenth time she had come up with the excuse, and it was starting to get old.

“I think we have to start from the beginning.”

A rather large ice needle emerged in the avatar’s hand.

“I’m being honest!” she almost shrieked in fear. “Maybe I was a bit careless on occasion, but one can’t just reach the vault by pressing a simple switch. The place would have been robbed centuries ago, if it were so simple. A specific number of switches must be activated in a specific order, at which point the true path will be revealed.”

“She’s just making it up,” Liandra said.

No doubt there was a lot of truth to that, but deep down, Theo was convinced that the vault existed. Furthermore, he had never counted on the ring’s truthfulness to begin with. The hours spent walking—and quite often flying—through the corridors had allowed him to make a perfect image of the maze in his head. If initially his fire scrying had provided a basic layout, the secret tunnels had filled in most of the empty spaces in between. Currently, there were only three large sections unaccounted for with the potential of holding the vault. One was on the south-east corner of the estate, the second—half-a-mile north. As for the third, they were standing right in front of it. What looked like a dead-end tunnel was actually a potential doorway to Theo’s goal.

“Honestly, I’ll get it next time, I promise,” the ring insisted.

Ignoring her, the avatar made his way to the wall in question and placed his hand on it.

Instantly, a new corridor formed, connecting to an empty chamber further in.

“I knew it!” the baron said triumphantly.

Thanks to the light provided by the bubbled fireballs, he could see outlines of several finely crafted statues.

“Start from the beginning, eh?” He glanced at the ring which was firmly held by Liandra. “Excuse me if I skip all that.” The avatar hurried forward, followed by a pair of floating spheres.

As more light filled the chamber, a lot more became visible. The area was indeed a large stone door with two warriors sculpted out of stone on either side. To be more precise, one of them appeared to be a typical warrior clad in full plate armor, with a two-handed sword and massive shield. The other, although muscular, was unmistakably a wizard gripping a once impressive spell staff.

“A mage and a warrior,” Ulf noted. “Just like you two.”

“Do you think it’s an ancient prophecy?” Amelia asked, with sparkles in her eyes. “The two of you must have been chosen to—”

“It’s just two chunks of stone next to a door,” the avatar grumbled.

Ever since his experience with the elves, he didn’t like prophecies. Of course, he took special care to cast a few identify spells on the statues to be sure that they weren't cursed. Somewhat surprisingly, they weren’t. In fact, nothing in the entire chamber was cursed or alive, just very old.

The stone door itself was as high as a two-story building, with hundreds of elements carved into it. Every one of them could serve as a trigger to the opening mechanism, or just another trap.

“Any idea how to open it?” The avatar turned to the ring.

“This isn’t supposed to be here,” it replied, seemingly terrified.

Theo didn’t believe her performance for one bit. Even without all the recent “accidents” the ring was a two-faced, scheming, abomination-inflicted, vicious liar.

“Never mind. I’ll open it myself.” He stepped in front of the door, placing his hand on the stone surface.

“No, you don’t understand! This isn’t the entrance to the vault! If you open it, there’s no telling—”

It was already too late. An entrance sized hallway had emerged in the stone.

You have destroyed the memories of Legendary Archmage Gregord and World Hero Leopold Ygreil.

Memoria’s Tomb is now unsealed!

Both Theo and his avatar froze. Having surprise notifications appear was never a good sign. Destroying memories of legendary figures was even worse. Very slowly, the baron took a step back and looked at Liandra.

“Say, you didn’t happen to feel anything strange, did you?” he asked in the faint hope that the message was more a warning than anything ominous.

“Memoria’s tomb…” Liandra muttered. “Why didn’t you say that your castle was built on Memoria’s tomb!” she yelled at the ruby ring.

“I told him not to touch it!” Lady Leevek shrieked, more terrified of what had happened than Liandra herself. “How should I know that anything of the sort was actually here? I definitely didn’t expect some idiot baron to unseal it!”

“Hey!” the avatar shouted. “What the heck is Memoria’s tomb?”

Before anyone could answer, the floor, ceiling, and all four walls retreated in their respective directions, building a catacomb of structures, corridors, and stairwells. Suddenly, Theo felt right in the middle of an M.C. Escher painting.