The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere

It was over.

We ended up at the same place we'd come in - the elaborate transposition chamber with no floor and a copy of the Gilgamesh mural on the walls. Once again, we were met by an attendant - this time a woman, who was even less talkative than the other guy - who led us back the way we came, through the great hall with the ancient statue and up the stairs to the abandoned part of the bastion. Then back into another carriage, up ramp after ramp (this time I heard what sounded like a stone door rolling open, which presumably was what stopped normal people from wandering down to the deserted level) until we'd returned to 'street' level, at least insofar as that concept even made sense for an entirely manufactured environment.

After that, we were just dumped out unceremoniously. It wasn't even the same spot as the first time, so we had to spend upwards of 15 minutes figuring out where the hell in the Empyrean Bastion we even were before trying to make our way back to the dock.

Though it'd only been a few days (even if you counted both versions of the weekend I'd experienced, still only six) it felt strikingly refreshing to be back here, maybe even somehow nostalgic. I finally felt as though I could let my guard down, and it was almost enough to have me smiling, in spite of everything. Despite not having slept much, I had the strange energy one sometimes gets late at night where it feels like the fog has finally cleared around your soul, and everything becomes almost simple.

The others, despite having experienced a very different weekend to me, also seemed to be in good spirits. The atmosphere was more laid-back than it had been at any point so far. Everyone was worn out and relieved to be going home, though some were more annoyed than others about how long this was taking.

"Okay, Ran, I'm certain now that we took a wrong turn there when we went up the stairs," Kam insisted, pointing up and to her right. "Look-- The Sibyl's college isn't even at the same angle as it was when we came in. We need to go back."

"Stop actin' like you know anything, Kam," Ptolema told her. "Ran actually went to school up here. You don't know anything, and you trying to get us to take some weird path under an apartment building because you like the vibes better or something."

"I am trying to get us to take the other path because it's obvious just with my eyes that we should have taken the other path!" She huffed. "At this rate, we're going to miss our slot! And it's the Monday after an international event, so you can be damn sure we won't get another for a group our size. We'll have to find a bloody boarding house in this gods-forsaken floating tomb."

"Ooh, it'd be really cool to spend the night here, actually," Ptolema mused, unconcerned. "I bet the university would pay for it and everything. I wonder if I could get a room with a window looking out at the Mimikos..."

"Um, when is our booking for the lift this time again, if it's not a nuisance for me to ask...?" Ophelia spoke up, frowning a little to herself. "I would like to visit this city properly sometime, but, well... I fell behind on some of my coursework getting my presentation ready, so I was hoping to have a chance to catch up on some of it before our weekly assessment with the coordinator."

I chimed in. "Uh, I never looked myself, but I remember Ran saying that it was 30 minutes later than the jump here, so that would mean 3:00 for boarding, I think?" I glanced to Ran. "Was that right?"

"Yeah," she confirmed. "Three on the dot."

"Of course you'll respond to her." Kam rolled her eyes.

Ophelia smiled, this seeming to hearten her. "Oh! We still have lots of time then, don't we? Actually, Lili, do you have the--"

"It's 12:29," Lilith interrupted her, staring down at her logic bridge as she fiddled with something as usual. The stone road we'd been walking down suddenly came to an abrupt terminus at the entrance to a seemingly newly-constructed brutalist tower bloc, the sign over the door displaying the phrase 'KAIO HOME CRAFTSMANSHIP STOREFRONT AND OFFICE/UNITED YSARAN BONE AND DENTAL CARE, EMPYREAN BASTION MEGACENTER/Coming Winter 1409! '. Ran turned right and led us into a narrow alley, overshadowed by arches from an even higher level of the hyper-dense cityscape.

"So more than two hours..." Ophelia sighed with relief. "Thank goodness. I can't imagine we could be lost for that long, even in a place like this."

"I'd attribute that to a scarcity of imagination," Kamrusepa said dryly. "We've been off the roads significant enough to allow carriage traffic practically since she took the lead, and we haven't seen another person for almost ten minutes.For all we know, this entire district could be abandoned." She gestured upwards, and my eyes followed, looking at the glass dome of the Bastion and the false stars beyond. "Look-- The damn walls are so high no one would even hear us scream if we got stuck here. They could find our shriveled, dehydrated corpses huddled in the husk of some dinky convenience store a month from now, dead in an attempt to suck the juices out from whatever was left of the preserved fruit. The press will have a field day about it; a cautionary tale against poor civic planning. They'll probably stuff us in a museum, like mummies."

Ptolema burst out laughing, guffawing loudly to herself from the back of our single-file line. Everyone else except Lilith laughed a little, too, myself included. Even Mehit snickered subtly out of her nose.

"Oh, sure, act like I'm being hysterical," Kam continued in an affronted tone. "Obviously I'm being hyperbolic. But you know, I grew up in the country, and people always laughed whenever you tried to tell them not to go up to certain parts of the mountains. 'Oh, these simple provincials, thinking anything connected to their plebeian lives could possibly hurt us.' I'll tell you, they'd be laughing all the way to the bottom of some bear's stomach."

"Kam, you don't even live here," I reminded her.

"Well, I've certainly been in this situation!"

"If this is how you get when somebody else is leading you around some streets, I'd love to see how you act in an actual life-or-death situation," Ran spoke sarcastically.

I shifted uncomfortably.

"If you don't want me to act out, Ran, then bloody respond when I'm talking to you!" she protested. "I don't respond well to not having my concerns acknowledged!"

"Yeah, I can see that," she replied.

"I'm pretty sure this part of the Bastion isn't abandoned," I said. "That sign just a second ago said new businesses were opening this year. And even if they're a little grim, the apartments... Or houses, it's sort of hard to tell with how cramped everything is... All look like they're decorated. It's probably just quiet because we're wandering around a residential area in the middle of the day."

"An excellent observation, Su," Kam shot back. "We are wandering around a residential area in the middle of the day. Why, I wonder?"

"This is the fastest way to the dock," Ran explained again.

"We're going the wrong direction!" Kam yelled. "The wrong cardinal direction!"

"Oof, since we have so much leeway this time around, would you guys mind if we grabbed a bite to eat once we get there?" Ptolema asked. "I kinda under-ate at breakfast? Had a meeting with Lady Anna to do before we left."

"Oh, I saw what looked like a lovely Uana restaurant at the dock when we passed through the first time...!" Ophelia mentioned, smiling warmly. "The sign said that it was run by Duumvirate natives. I'd love to go there, if we could. I've always wanted to try their cuisine, but it's so hard to find on land, even in big cities like Old Yru... T-Though, only if no one else has a preference."

"Sounds good to me!" Ptolema said. "Uana stuff is all small fish, right? Clams and sardines or whatever."

For a second, it looked like Ophelia was suppressing the urge to say something, biting her lip. "Um, I think there's quite a lot more to it than that, but that sort of thing does feature prominently. I know that some of their dishes use very strange and complex combinations of ingredients, since it's the only way to replicate the old world flavors from their artificial reality... So they can be troublesome for allergies. I think they also said they serve Lluateci food, though."

"Whatever works," Ran said, as she led us out of the alley into a second, larger alley, with this one terminating at another set of upward stone stairs. "I'm not fussy."

"Yeah, I don't mind," I said, Ran giving me a funny look for a moment. I looked to the side. "What about you, Mehit?"

"Me?" She blinked. "Well, I've personally had Uana cuisine before, so it's not as exciting a prospect to me-- But I'm not even part of your group, so you needn't take me into account. It might be too much for Lili, but heaven knows I'll have to take her somewhere before we leave. With the way the city probably is after what happened, I expect traveling anywhere will be quite dreadful."

"I'm pretty sure I saw a Rhunbardic chain restaurant around there too. What d'ya think, Lili?" Ptolema asked the girl. "You feel like being adventurous today, or would you rather eat a grilled sausage and cheese sandwich or whatever?"

"I like clams," she said bluntly, not looking up. "If they have clam stew, it will be-- Be fine."

"Alright, we're set!" Ptolema exclaimed. She grinned at Ophelia enthusiastically, who smiled back in turn. "I hear the Uana make amazing ice cream. Maybe we can get you some of that, too."

"I am not seven, skull-cavity," Lilith said scornfully, side-eying her. "The prospect of stuffing my face with globs of processed sugar and fat isn't enough to set my heart aflutter."

"Lili, I'm always happy when you decide to eat well, but you should really be kinder to your classmates," Mehit told her.

"It's okay," Ptolema said, then laughed awkwardly. "I guess I probably shouldn't be encouraging her to eat junk food in front of her mom, huh..."

Mehit gave a weary smile. "It's alright, miss Rheeds."

Mehit was surprisingly laid back today compared to all the other times I'd seen her. Maybe I misspoke a moment ago. For her, too, it seemed like a weight had almost been lifted from her shoulders.

My eyes flicked between her and Lilith for a moment. I had to wonder. If what we'd learned about Lilith and what she'd said about Hamilcar had been true, then... What did that mean, in this new reality? He'd apparently grooming her - an assimilation failure - for his plan, or as we'd later learned, the Order's collective plan. And she'd told us that Hamilcar was a puppet of the rest of the organization, installed after murdering his family. Had they forced him to go along with it? To bring her into it? Had Mehit suspected?

And what would happen, in this world where it had somehow never occurred? You didn't just stop being an indoctrinated cultist. Unless that had all been an act.

Just let it go, I thought to myself. You don't even know for sure if any of that was real.

Lilith seemed completely unconcerned with, or outright oblivious to, this conversation about lunch. I'd never had time to consider it when everything had been increasingly turning to chaos in the sanctuary, I wondered for a moment what it was like for her. There were a lot of things that had been shocking and existentially twisted about the experience of my mind being merged with Shiko's, so much so that it was easy to forget that what I had gone through had been, at least in terms of assimilation failures, relatively mild. We'd been almost the same age, even lived a large chunk of our lives in the same place.

What would it be like to be an adult suddenly born into a completely foreign civilization, in the underdeveloped body and mind of a literal child? One whom of very possibly different gender and ethnicity, at that. What would it be like to be that child, having such a person suddenly stuffed inside your brain? I couldn't imagine what the hell that would do to someone's sense of self. Trying to put adult patterns of thought into an immature, developing brain had to be like trying to run a modern echo maze on decades old hardware. Surely it would break, the question was just how.

...but then, it could have been like that for my grandfather, or Samium, too. I'd never really thought about it, but I didn't know anything of the circumstances of their respective assimilation failures. I'd so preoccupied by the circumstance we were all part of together, I never tried to imagine who they could have been outside of that context.

Kam clicked her tongue. "You're all putting the cart miles before the horse. I'm not even going to think about food until we're where we're supposed to be." She shook her head. "I suppose it would be only fitting for the weekend to end like this, if we are actually lost. One last exercise in being led around by my nose."

"C'mon, Kam, it wasn't that bad," Ptolema said. "Like, I get that you're upset about how they took your presentation--"

"How they took it in front of an audience of thousands of people," Kam cut in.

"--but they didn't even really dislike it, y'know? Other than Zeno, Grandmaster Kane said it was a promising proof of concept that just needed to be retooled so it could be mass-produced or whatever, and Neferuaten said you were obviously super passionate about your work. They were really nice! And anyway, other than that, all we had to do was hang out and eat!"

"I wouldn't expect you to be able to read between the lines, Ptolema," Kam rebuffed her. "Let me spell it out for you: In lingua academia, 'Promising proof of concept' and 'you're obviously very passionate' are polite ways of saying they think your work is crap. Now, compare that to the phrase they lavished on Ophelia's creature."

She pointed to its cage, still resting on top of Ophelia's luggage. Ophelia blushed.

"You are sort of taking this in an over-the-top way, Kam," I said. "Even for you."

"It's just such a disappointment," she spoke melodramatically. "Between that, the moralizing, all their bizarre rituals, and fact they seemed eager to suppress whatever piece of technology Fang had brought in to show them on behalf of your grandfather - pardon for poking the scab - and of course the behavior of Professor Zeno, that ridiculous puppet he was intent on cavorting around as his avatar whenever the cameras were off..." She clicked her tongue. "I really had thought they were a serious and intellectual organization."

"They do say you should never meet your heroes, miss Tuon," Mehit said, with surprisingly flatness. "That's one piece of old wisdom I find consistently reliable."

Kam looked surprised too, but went along with it happily, sticking her nose up. "Quite right, Ms. Eshkalon."

"Aren't you judging them based on largely superficial traits?" I asked her, falling back into my role of playing devil's advocate even though I had the most reason to think of the Order as a creepy organization under probably-malevolent interests. "They still put out longevity research. Isn't that what should be important to you?"

"Frankly, Su? If we dispense with pretense?" We reached the stairs, heading upwards. "They haven't put a serious paper since the reinterpretation of the Covenant. I'm starting to wonder if the only reason they looked good in the first place was the absence of competition, and I've mistaken bravery - they were brave, to give credit where it's due - for competence."

"You're just using a lot of words to justify being a baby, Kam," Ptolema said.

"That's ad hominem, Ptolema," Kam said flatly.

"It is kind of funny, Kam," I told her. "Like, last time you were here, you were decrying the stuff that Alexandros of Myrh said at the press conference... But now you're basically the exact same argument he did. Down to his characterization of them being unprofessional based on their quirks."

It felt ridiculous, in a way. Just going back to this old dynamic like nothing had happened. Like these weren't people I'd watched die, that I'd supposedly murdered repeatedly.

Kam frowned. "That was different, Su. For one thing, he was focused on the secrecy of their research, and I've said nothing to suggest--"

Ran finished leading us up the stairs, and the view hit our group like a brick wall. We were suddenly at the uppermost level of the Bastion, with the tops of the stone buildings - all but the high-rises uniformly flat, I was now noticing - linked by a series of bridges. It was like we'd climbed the wall of the maze. and suddenly the whole thing was ridiculously simple, the fundamental smallness of the space made nakedly obvious by the absence of features.

Ran, without so much as a trace of smugness in her face, turned to us and gestured in the direction of the dock. There was an elevator leading directly down to it in a straight line from us, maybe 5-10 minutes walk.

"...oh," Kamrusepa said.

𒊹

When we arrived at the dock - that familiar round square, with the fountain Ptolema had played in at the center - the others were already waiting for us. Fang waved enthusiastically as soon as we turned the corner, having just come out of a gift shop and carrying a wooden display box with what looked like a scale model of the Empyrean Bastion inside. We reconvened, complained collectively about what jerks the Order had been to force us to walk here instead of just dropping us off properly, then (except for Ezekiel, who had opted to brood in the waiting lounge) went for lunch at the place everyone had discussed - a surprisingly large restaurant built right into the steelwood walls that separated us from the vacuum of the Empyrean.

The place was even decorated in pseudo-Uana style, with gracefully curved utilitarian silver furniture and logic engines that overlaid various forms of augmented reality over the room at the customer's discretion. We wouldn't be staying the night, but we did get a couple of big tables right next to a window overlooking outer space, as Ptolema had hoped for. Suffice it to say, it was a much more comfortable angle than the ones from which we'd viewed it on the Aetherbridge and especially the transposition chamber.

Of course, I'd been so in my own head that I hadn't processed that I'd agreed to go to what was essentially a seafood restaurant despite hating seafood. No wonder Ran had been confused. Fortunately, Uana was a little more fleshed-out than Ptolema seemed to be aware of, and I ended up with some sort of bean, pistachio and meat (llama?) soup, which was fine. I slurped it quietly to myself, listening to the others talk.

"Seth, you said you'd pay for my lunch when we got back, right?" Ptolema asked, despite having already suggested the university could pay for it.

"Hey, I said when we get back," he said, with a smirk. "As in to the city. I ain't taking on whatever obscene luxury debt they foist tourists with up here."

"You're so cheap," she said, looking at him with disgust. "I bet you're just gonna take me to some crappy street stand again."

"No way!" He denied, and winked. "Only the finest street stands for you, my lady."

Ptolema rolled her eyes, looking to her left. "How are you liking it, Ophelia? Meeting your expectations?"

"It's, ah, interesting!" she said, pausing her fork as it pierced an oca wrapped in leaves and some strange fish pate/sauce. "The flavor is different to anything they serve in the Mimikos... But it's not like anything from the Diakos, either. I'm glad to experience it."

"But do you like it, though?" Ptolema asked.

Ophelia made a complicated expression, biting her lip. "It's not bad!"

It was only after I'd almost finished that it suddenly occurred to me that this recent series of events, too, didn't really make sense. After all, it had been confirmed multiple times that the boy's group hadn't traveled to the Empyrean Bastion at all, but by some other entrance. We had left simultaneously this time around, so - on the off-chance that Linos's technobabble about planar alignment had any grounding in reality - it wasn't inconceivable that there really was a second entrance for them up here which they'd left from this time, but...

Perhaps this was another change, and in this world their claim they'd gone through the Empyrean Bastion was honest-- Seth had still looked like he'd been in a fight upon our arrival in the sanctuary, but that wasn't definitive. Or maybe they'd gone up the Aetherbridge before we'd arrived to create the illusion they'd been here for longer.

Or perhaps Fang traveling with them on the way back had changed things...? They'd casually said they'd go with the boys for the same reason they'd offered with the seating at the conclave; because it was the smaller group.

Later, after everything was over, I looked into it and asked someone I knew who worked on the Old Yru city council to skim the registry of Aetherbridge passengers for me, but they discovered that the data for the entire weekend had been locked down by the government. What was peculiar, though, was that this had been initiated prior to the bombing, on the evening of the day we'd first arrived. With the bicentennial parade and everything else going on, there was no telling if it was even related, yet someone with power had for some reason held a keen interest in obfuscating who exactly had visited the Aetherbridge during that time.

When I heard that, I suddenly recalled an observation Ophelia had made on our first visit to the transposition chamber, when we'd been discussing how they'd been expending the eris on keeping the barrier which kept out the vacuum of space active regularly.

"They're not," Ran said. "This hasn't been in effect for long. Someone only activated the runes about an hour ago."

She raised an eyebrow. "Only an hour?"

"That, um, would make sense, would it not...?" Ophelia said hesitantly. "The members of the order have to travel to the sanctuary too, after all. Perhaps they left it active just for our sake."

"Y'think they use the same entrance?" Ptolema asked. "I would figure they'd have some secret way in that they wouldn't share with a bunch of random idiots like us."

Regardless of whether the boy's group had been there or not, no matter which world, we weren't the only group connected to the Order that had been in the bastion that day. Someone - an arcanist - had been in the transposition chamber an hour before we'd left.

And for it to be active again on our way out... Someone had returned first, too.

We had time enough to spare after the meal for everyone to goof off for a while and Ptolema to eat a large bowl of pistachio ice cream, but then it was time to make our way to the lift. We passed through the booking and security checks, and once again got seats on the top floor, this time all together, though our group was so large that we couldn't even hold a conversation collectively with the way the seats were laid out, so it didn't make much difference.

I ended up seated near Ran, Ophelia, Fang and Theo. Ophelia had been determined to overcome her fears and watch through the actual moment of transpositioning this time, and I was worried that I'd end up having to tell another joke. But instead, Fang regaled her with a weird story about how they'd got a free pass to ride the Aetherbridge whenever they wanted by virtue of having saved the life of one of the Aetheromancers after a crate of bees in the storage compartment had broken free during transit.

I couldn't tell if it was something that actually happened or just some kind of esoteric bit they were doing, but regardless, Ophelia seemed really invested.

"So the guy, I've managed to get him out of shock, right? But he's still out cold, and by this point, the lower levels are just swarming with the things, and they are going hog wild, and we're only two minutes out from the transposition. And y'know, it's just mass-hysteria. Everyone screaming for the stairs, one lady's dog has got loose and is barking like crazy 'cause it got stung in the butt, one other dude's in the corner having a panic attack or maybe a seizure--"

"Oh no!" Ophelia said, putting her hand to her mouth with surreal sincerity. "Were they okay?"

"Yeah, of course!" Fang said quickly, with an affirming nod. "The dog was totally fine, just a little sore. Anyway, my point is that most people are getting the hell out of there. But the lady I mentioned earlier? The one who somehow got a dueling sabre on board? Hoo, boy, she is a different breed, 'cause she's standing her ground. She's up on one of the chairs, waving her sword around like a giant flyswatter, shouting that if anything comes close - and at this stage, I'm pretty sure she doesn't care if that's man or insect - it's getting merced. She's got that last-stand-at-Xattusa look where you can tell she just does not give a fuck. So y'know, I try to play it cool, edge in close with my hands up in the air..."

So the journey went smoothly. What happened when we arrived, on the other hand, was considerably less pleasant. The dock was packed to the absolute brim with people, both from tourists trying to return to the Empyrean, and as a result of an absolutely massive backlog of inbound travelers being subject to heightened, awkwardly-implemented security protocols. Mehit, as it turned out, had been right. We were stuck there for almost two and a half hours.

When we finally left the building, the skyline of Old Yru laid out before us, the Great Lamp was already setting over the horizon. The city looked a bigger mess than it probably had since the revolution. The streets were covered in litter, and were still security cordoned-off areas all around downtown where the police and the Censors were milling about en-masse. I wondered what exactly had happened in the aftermath of the attack - I saw what must have been thousands of discarded placards lining the massive bridge that connected the two central mountains of the city, suggesting a protest had been broken up - but was sure I'd hear about it eventually.

For now, as we arrived at the busy tram opposite the Aetherbridge, it was time to go our separate ways.

"Well, that was a bloody nightmare," Kamrusepa said, her tone resigned.

"No kidding," Ptolema said, lifting a leg. "It feels like my feet are gonna fall off at our ankles."

"I imagine we made out better than some," Bardiya said, glancing around. "Well then, we're well past hours for our class, so I suppose this is it."

"Guess so," Seth said, stretching his arms. "Phew! Any of you guys up for some drinks before we call it a night?"

"I, er, think Ezekiel already left," Theo said worriedly, looking towards the horizon.

"Eh, fuck that guy," Seth said, with a dismissive wave of the hand. He looked to the side. "You up for it, Ema?"

"Sure!" she replied with a shrug. "I think Ophelia said she has to be getting back, though...?"

"Oh, ah, yes," Ophelia replied, looking regretful. "My apologies..."

"Nah, it's cool," he said, shaking his head. "I'll catch you tomorrow then."

"Hey, count me in!" Fang said, sticking up a hand. "Feel like I need to get some stuff outta my system after that shit. Maybe punch a guy."

Seth blinked, looking surprised. "You wanna come, Fang?"

"Yeah!" they replied. "Is that weird? I don't like. Have to."

"No, you're invited!" he told them. "I just. I dunno. I didn't really think you thought we were cool, I guess."

Fang made a 'pfft' noise. "You kidding? You guys are great! I just hate wasting my time doing crap in class."

"Well, Ms. Eshkalon, thank you for coming," Kamrusepa said politely, now having approached Mehit. "It was lovely to meet you."

"Thank you, miss Tuon," the woman replied with a nod. "It's been... Enlightening, to meet you and the rest of Lili's class. I suppose the two of us will be heading back to our lodgings, now."

"Mm-hmm, take care," Kamrusepa said, then looked towards Ran. "You planning on joining Seth and the others on their little escapade, Ran?"

"I'm not sure," she said, looking towards me. "Su?"

I hesitated, then smiled at her weakly. "I... think I'm gonna head back, actually."

"...alright," she replied, frowning slightly. "Well, take care of yourself, okay?"

"Yeah," I said, my voice growing quiet. "You too."

I boarded one of the trams, then crossed the city, heading back to my apartment building - an old, partly-wooden affair converted from a manor. As soon as I was away from the others, it felt like something in my mind that had been propping me up relaxed, and the journey became a blur. Strangely, my mind seemed to filter out the dense crowds I was traveling alongside, until it was as if I was alone in a world filled with nothing but dancing shadows.

When I made it home, I checked my built-up mail and messages on my logic engine - one from my mother, one from a friend I'd made in Mekhi, one from Iwa wondering what the hell was happening after our brief exchange yesterday morning. I composed replies. I went to the kitchen automatically, intending to eat something before getting some studying done.

...but suddenly, a switch flicked in me. It felt as though there was no point.

I went to my bed. I laid down, thrusting my head into my pillow, and cried halfway through the night.

And so it came to an end. The weekend of April the 28th, of the final Conclave of the Universal Panacea, and the massacre which never was.

And with it, my futile quest to repair that which could never be repaired.