The Dungeon Child

I sit on one of the plastic chairs surrounding the short tables, utterly and entirely ignoring the wide man speaking animatedly at his blackboard, writing indecipherable nonsense on it with a small white stick. "Charlie, do you have any spiders?"

Charlie, wildly scribbling with a short green rod on a piece of paper, looks up curiously. "What?"

"Spiders. Do you have any? I think mine is broken."

She frowns, temporarily putting her masterpiece artwork on hold. "What do you mean?"

I'm wearing a small green shirt that does little to cover the majority of my girth, but there's a small space underneath the top of my arm, and it's from there that I produce Thesis, holding her underneath the table so as to avoid any unnecessary attention. "See?" I whisper, proudly stroking her back. "Spiders. Mine isn't making any more."

Charlie's eyes widen when she sees the spider, and she leans in closer. "Whoa, how did you train her? I've never seen a spider that tame."

I snort loudly, and the fat man at the board glares at me. I ignore him even further. "She is the best spider in the world. Her name is Thesis." I'm not lying when I say that, either. The amount of mana I've condensed in this spider, while still small, is nothing to sneeze at. A cough, perhaps, but no pitiful sneeze. Either way, she could probably take a decent hit from a war hammer and come out of it fine, not that I have a convenient war hammer to test the theory. I've elected to condense the mana rather than continue expanding in size.

She looks closer at Thesis, and then up to me. "Can I pet her?"

I consider it for a full four seconds before giving my response. "Fine. Don't touch her eyes, they're sensitive." After all, if she loses her eyesight, who will defend my domain?

Carefully stroking my spider along the spine, Charlie's face splits into a wide smile.

My attention is instantly disrupted by a sudden dysregulation in my blood flow, my core suddenly skipping one of its cycles. A mere moment later, it's back to normal, if not a little faster. My forehead furrows in spite of myself. What was that? I hadn't detected any mana flow or curse residue, so why did my heart stop for a moment? It's not something that makes sense unless of course it's something that happens to humans every now and then.

Hm. I can think about it later.

With a sigh, the fat man puts down his white stick and ambles over to us, putting his hands on his considerable hips. "What's going on?"

I look up at him, increasing the dilation of my eyes in an attempt to make myself appear either more threatening or more innocent, whichever one works to diffuse the situation. He doesn't so much as flinch, which leads me to believe he's received some sort of precognition regarding my unique condition, or at least information to prepare him for my glorious visage.

Holding up Thesis, I tell him solemnly, "We're looking at my spider." At least I didn't stutter in front of Charlie. I don't think I'd survive the embarrassment.

His eyes bug out, for lack of a better term, when he sees my spider, but regains self-control quickly. "You're not allowed to bring pets to kindergarten."

I frown. "I don't have any pets."

Indicating Thesis, he asks pointedly, "Then what's that?"

Looking down at Thesis, I raise my sight to his face, my own face contorted in confusion. "My minion."

Eyes narrowing, he asks strangely, "So you're a wise guy, huh?"

I nod appreciatively. "I am indud-ind-indeed wise." I wince in spite of myself. So much for not stuttering.

Sighing, he reaches for my hand. "All right, let's go."

I yank my hand away, covering Thesis. "I don't want to!"

Rolling his eyes, he asks, "Then keep your spider still and focus on the schoolwork."

As he turns his back to leave, I stick my tongue out at him. I don't know why - it just feels right. Charlie makes a strange chuckly sort of noise next to me, and I divert my attention away from him, setting Thesis on the underside of the table. I can feel her instantly begin constructing a web.

Turning my view upon the sheet of paper before me, I frown deeply. "What's this?"

She snorts for some reason, then says in a trembly voice, "You're approaching me?"

I gaze at her in absolute awe. How in the System's teeth did she pronounce a word that long on her first try!? Shaking my head away from the thought, I return my meager attention span to the 'schoolwork', indicating it. "What does this mean?"

Charlie looks over, then frowns. "That's just math. Easy math."

Staring at it, mind racing, I say, "Huh."

I may have a problem.

Not a math problem.