The Castle in the middle of nowhere.

20. Being a dungeon is hard.



After breakfast, we went to the Magic Tower. It was still early and we had about three hours until the meeting I had scheduled would start in the guild hall. It was not mandatory to be at it, but I knew that most people would be there, anyway. But before that, I wanted to see what exactly Stella was planning to do about Avalon's magic defences.

Irene looked different today. She was much calmer than usual and I thought she would get better from now on. After last night's confession, she was afraid I or Amber would not acknowledge her choice to be my second Queen. She was afraid of being rejected just because she was raped by some scum.

At dawn, Amber was talking with Irene about that and I saw they were feeling much better now. Both of them. Which was excellent news, I thought. I was in the middle of my self-monologue when another explosion shook the ground.

"For fuck’s sake..." I sighed, looking at the blue smoke rising from one of Magic Tower's windows.

•••

The Magic Tower was able to withstand the blast this time. Stella was coughing blue smoke, but besides that everything looked fine. I entered one of the largest and highest-placed enchanting rooms in the Tower.

"Stella, what the fuck?" I asked the fundamental question.

"I failed the enchanting, my King." She replied with a sour face, but when she stood up, she brightened and corrected herself proudly. "No! I succeeded!"

"So moderate explosions are normal during the enchanting process?" I asked, raising a brow. Amber, who was hidden behind me, looked at Stella while using my right arm as a cover. Irene decided to stay a few steps behind.

"No... Yes.... but..." Stella couldn't decide, but she pursed her lips and cleared her throat. "On this occasion, it's the desired effect, my King."

"And why exactly?" I asked, looking around at the beams and walls. Nothing. Not even a single crack; the enchanted stone took that blast like a champ.

"This explosion means something was trying to break my enchantment while it was forming and failed,"Stella answered proudly, pointing at a series of shining runes engraved on a large sheet of metal formed to look like a shield.

"Okay... You already made that mental protection enchantment I asked for recently?" I asked, somewhat impressed.

"I... No. I just recently noticed that something is interfering with mana flow in Avalon," she stuttered but then got serious. "That first explosion in which Queen Amber and Queen Irene almost died was not an accident, my King."

At first, I lightly smiled at the thought that my Scions already accepted Irene as their Queen but then my mind processed what SteIIa just told me. I felt how the wave of cold anger was filling my veins. I was standing still and slowly I clenched my fists as I gritted my teeth and tensed my arms. So this is how it was.

Now it’s personal..

"Do you know who did that?" I softly asked with a voice full of bloodlust.

"No. I can't even detect their presence anymore." Stella shook her head in denial and looked right into my eyes. "As a Pixie, I was unable to perform such complicated enchanting. What's more, even if I were a Fairy I would never have found out about this interference. But as Faé... Well. Now I see and know things I have never considered before. Whoever they are, they are powerful, my King but now they can't sneak into Avalon. The entire Castle is under a detection spell."

Stella took a deep breath and coughed one more blue cloud. She waved her hand in front of her face to dispose of it and straightened again proudly.

"I'm rather proud of my work, my King. It blocks them, whoever they are, while at the same time, my enchantment will not interfere with the skills of regular adventurers who explore the lower levels." She smiled at me, obviously waiting for my praises.

"Excellent work, Stella. Do you need any help from us with the other protection types?" I asked, but I thought more about Amber and Irene since I was a useless bum in the magic department.

"I don't think so..." She started slowly and shrugged her arms. "But if I need anyone's help, I will ask for it at once."

I nodded my head and since we had nothing else to do there, we took a stroll towards the Town. I needed this walk to clear my head before the meeting. What Stella told me reminded me once more about how powerless and egocentric I was. Of course, I was not the only target of whoever our enemies are. I was impressed by how calmly Amber and Irene took the news.

I walked in silence while Amber and Irene followed a few steps behind me and talked. Their clear and happy laughter was brightening my mood and clearing my mind before the meeting. That is, until we stumbled upon Ian, who was very concerned.

"My King! We have a huge problem!"

"What's wrong?" I glanced over notifications but couldn't see any problems.

"We need more space for wheat and flour!"

"Oh..." I sigh in relief. These are the kinds of problems I like to hear about. But... "Ian, but our granary and wheat storages should hold tons of wheat. How did you manage to fill it so quickly?"

"I... Well, Verni and I managed to build a magitech harvester. It helps us gather crops at a much faster rate. The fields are now regrowing, my King, and if I'm right, we can harvest once per three months. This wheat is incredible!"

"Ian..." I had to stop my walk. "Are you telling me that we already have over one hundred and twenty tonnes of wheat?"

"Not exactly, my King. We have ninety tonnes of dry grain and a bit less than twenty-two and a half tonnes of flour, since we use it for our needs."

I lifted my face to the sky with closed eyes. Once again, I did something stupid. I sighed.

"Ian, for now, we have to focus on other matters."

"I was thinking how to resolve this problem, my Lord. For example, you can sell what we can't use to the outside world." Ian always had his ideas about resolving problems he found and I must admit most of them were excellent.

"And tell me, do you think the people outside have enough funds to pay for that food?" I asked, resuming my march towards the Town.

"Probably. But if I'm not wrong you need their mana more than money, my King. So why not trade directly?"

"You have my attention, Ian. Carry on." I smiled.

"The simplest course of action would be promising nearby settlements food for sending here people to explore or as a reward in quest your Majesty can post for entire villages," Ian proposed.

Once again, I had to stop and look at Ian. His solution was not only simple but also brilliant, as it potentially can resolve two of my problems at once. Now it's on me to implement this. One problem might be troublesome to resolve but often multiple problems resolve each other.

•••

Ian's idea drastically improved my mood and helped me to enter the guild hall with a smile rather than my previous bloodlust. Most of the people were already gathered and sitting near tables rearranged to face the direction where a single table with three chairs was waiting. Yeh... They mostly nailed that boring vibe of meeting rooms I remembered from my previous life.

Which makes me believe that whoever is meddling with my memories is a monster of a very dark sort. To leave someone with untouched memories of corporate meetings... Brrrr...

In the front row was sitting Uvar Knys, who had on his left side his best friend and guild vice-leader Ikki Steelshield. On his right was sitting Lady Lanka the Saving Grace, behind whom I saw the Slime Maid... Oh. 'That's good' crossed my mind when I smiled and looked at the next faces. Most of the adults were present as well as the adolescent kids over twelve years old. My residents were sitting near the right side of the wall and Sigismund's people were near the left side with some filling in the back rows.

"I'm sorry I asked you to join this meeting on this very short notice. However, there are a few things I have to learn about the world outside," I started with an enthusiastic voice.

"My King, how can we help?" Knys asked.

"I need to learn if anyone knows when or what happened to make this world so grim. Why do other dungeons act so bloodthirsty? I need to know as much as possible to forge any plan to help this world."

They looked surprised and a little overwhelmed. But I didn't want to beat around the bush and I wanted all the new people to know what my plans were. But so far no one could tell me anything of value or more than ‘a long time ago the world got messed up and everything started crumbling to ruins'. I looked at them with little hope, but to my surprise, Sigismund stood up.

"King, there is an old tale passed down in my family. In its essence, it says that about three thousand years ago, an evil lord rose to power in northeastern lands beyond the grand ocean. He called himself a Great Emperor and started a war against everything. All the gods of this world except one had summoned their champions. For a long time, the heroes repelled the armies of the Dark Emperor but... Ultimately they failed. Some of them died in battles, some died of old age, and some managed to return to the worlds from which they hailed. But the tale also talks about some who joined the Dark Emperor. His Empire spanned over the entire world, but after a few decades of his dark rule, his armies retreated from our continent. However, the stigma of his dark reign has lasted since that day. That's all I know."

"Thank you, Lord Sigismund." I was holding my hand on the blank book which I had brought exactly for this reason and was saving everything I heard now.

His story gave me at least a timeframe. Dark Empires tend to see themselves in much brighter colours than anyone they conquered, so I would take that with a grain of salt. However, the vibe of all the attacks on me so far matched most items on the checklist 'What evil empire would do.' I would be lying if I said I didn't want to have an easily targetable enemy.

"Which god didn't send his champion back then?" I asked and put my mental bet on Eriar.

"Nalau. The god of the southern sea," a Dwarf responded without a shadow of a doubt.

"What about Eriar?" I asked in confusion. Good thing I rarely made bets for money...

"I have never heard about him before" Sigismund replied and everyone gathered started either nodding or confirming aloud.

"Thank you. I also want to know if the nearby settlements would be willing to accept quests on my grounds if I offered them grain or flour amongst regular loot as a reward. Would that work?" I asked with high hopes. Obtaining large quantities of food for some easy work should appeal to almost everyone.

"Depending on how much you can offer, my Lord, but even a few days' worths of grains or wheat would be worth the risk to most. People are starving, my Lord," Knys said. "This year was rough..."

I blinked a few times and tilted my head. I think someone was telling me something about food problems but... For fuck’s sake, Theon, stop assuming things work similarly to Earth...

"Arani?" I asked Eagle Scion through our link.

"My King?" Asked Scion.

"Do you have any reports about nearby settlements?" I asked.

"Nothing concerning, my King."

"And what about their food reserves?"

"What about them...?" My Scion sounded almost panicked.

"Do they have enough food to survive the winter?" I asked with the voice equivalent of me looking at my fingertips.

"Ummm... I don't know..."

"Thank you, Arani. That's all for now, but I will later change my orders. You did well." I said. Our exchange of thoughts didn't last even half a minute.

I sighed. Sending Eagles alone on such missions backfired. Theon... They are living beings, not XXI-century drones with thermal vision or any other sensor you like. No matter how I look at it, I should have expected this outcome. One more example of my lack of basic knowledge about the world.

"We can try something different then. I will ask you, Iris, Rose and Lilly, to convey my Quest requests." The Flower girls nodded their heads with big smiles.

"But success in the long term depends on your reserves, my King, and while I wish to help those people, we will need food as well to survive winter..." Ikki said very slowly, and I saw they were afraid of hunger.

"Ian?" I pointed at my Farmer-Engineer.

"Yes, your Highness." Ian stood up and turned towards people. I saw Sally grinning at him. "We have ninety tonnes of dry grain and twenty-two and half tonnes of flour."

Sudden silence befell the room and even my newest residents looked at me with dropped jaws. Ian, however, continued."The farms of Avalon are massive fields in a zone which has only two seasons, late spring and early summer. Our King has assured me this will last all year long so we can harvest crops four times a year. I will repeat. Four times."

He looked around, and everyone except me was in shock. Even Amber and Irene. I was not in shock, thanks to my ignorance. I mean, somewhere back on Earth they harvested wheat a few times a year and usually two times a year… it was a no sweat outcome, right? I realised it took much more effort back there but people managed to do that, right? However, right here in this world, this was breathtaking.

"And how much grain do you get from a single harvest, Sir Ian?" Sigismund asked, appearing a little pale.

"I'm not a noble, sir. This time we managed to obtain only one hundred and twenty tonnes of dry grain, Lord Sigismund. In three months Verni and I plan to beat that."

I saw how nervous they were and frankly, I couldn't understand the reason. Amber must have seen that on my face, so she moved her face close to my ear and whispered.

"I never told you because I never saw the point, but here if you manage to harvest two or three hundred kilograms of wheat per year you are considered an incredible farmer." She then sighed. "I’ve told you many times before that for us, Avalon is a place of never-ending wonders."

I nodded and hoped my ignorance would be soon corrected by someone from the audience who could talk about why I should be concerned with my little farming empire.

"So you... I mean, Avalon can't run out of food?" someone asked in absolute shock.

"That's correct." Confirmed Ian while I shortly nodded. "We are also producing flour of unbelievable quality. But you have already found out about this."

"My King... In that case, we make preparations in case Queen Josla finds out about this. Your scions are powerful, but she has an army that is one hundred thousand strong. She could lay siege to Avalon!" Knys gripped his bald head tightly.

All of my original residents started laughing, even Ian and Sally, who were my least combat-oriented people. However, I would rather not take that statement lightly.

"Avalon is not defenceless. Sooner or later, Queen Josla will try to attack us, but for now, we can safely assume that winter will hold her army. I would happily avoid a quarrel with the local ruler for now, but I won't give up without putting up a fight." I started with a soft smile. At the same time, Marie jumped out from my shadow.

Most people tend to forget about Marie because their brains simply can't process the ratio of her child cuteness to the destructive power she wielded and they simply always classified her as not a threat. But seeing her jumping from my shadow reminded them all about the slaughter of goblins she casually performed only because she was in a hurry at the time. Marie hadn't even considered that a goblin warband is a threat, let alone considered taking them on earnestly. And this made all the adventurers in the guild take a closer look at my residents and they paled when they managed to appraise them.

"My King! There are new children in Avalon!" Marie went straight to me, ignoring everyone around. She was so excited she barely found time to breathe. "Can Fiona and Nicole and I play with them?!"

"Yes, Marie. But don't take them to the hunting grounds. They are still tired after the travel." I smiled and then continued with a more serious face. "However, I am sure you already asked your mom for permission. Is that right, Marie?"

I saw her smile change into panic when she realised her mother was sitting nearby, smiling brightly at her. I cleared my throat, still smiling lightly.

"As I said. Avalon is not easy prey. They can try to lay a siege, but even with their numbers, they will bleed out before reaching the centre of the Righteous Dungeon. And that's only if I don't do anything about them before they get there." I assured them confidently. I was still waiting for a report from my spies about nearby kingdoms and their forces. The Cridia Kingdom was a priority, but I started coming to terms with the thought I would have to send a resident or gather intel in another way. "Do you have any questions?"

They looked at each other but they were afraid to ask or had no idea how to proceed. However, Knys lifted his hand and spoke up.

"My King, we have a favour to ask. Can Great Priestess Irene help Lanka to look for anyone who could be a healer? Besides Lanka, our guild has no real healer."

"Guild Master Knys, you are not aware of it, but ‘Great Priestess’ is no longer the proper title of Queen Irene va'Theon, the Saintess of Avalon." The mesmerising voice of Amber resounded throughout the hall. They all needed a few moments to process what she just said, but when they comprehended the new title of Irene. to say they were in shock would have been an understatement.

"I will gladly help you, Guild Master Knys," Irene answered with a bright smile and melodic voice, not giving them a single chance to recover.

•••

The meeting lasted for a few hours. I decided there were too many important matters to discuss haphazardly. For the next meeting, everyone would prepare questions. However my basic two points, for now, were satisfied. I would prepare quests for nearby towns and with luck, the people from poor villages would be interested in grabbing some almost free food. But this was questionably the easiest way to bait people here.

What Sigismund told me made me think. If some other entities called gods in this world summoned their heroes here, then why didn't Eriar tell me about them… Fuck, right. Because I didn't listen. Skip the fucking intro. Great idea you moron. Okay... So for reasons unknown, Eriar kept a low profile up until now and it was safe to say I was his chosen hero. Arguably, Eriar might as well be the god of dungeons, and people of this world had no idea about it. Dunno. Being a dungeon is hard. But being an arrogant moron dungeon is another level of making the world hard for yourself. I sighed again.

We moved to the Town's church because I wanted to see the procedure of looking for a healer. But apparently, the process itself is kind of... Easy? Like those frauds with healing hands back home. With a great deal of interest, Amber and I watched in confused silence how Lanka and then Irene were putting their hands on every candidate Knys managed to herd into the church. Knys and Ikki watched the ceremony from the side.

"My King?" Irene came closer to me and whispered softly so only I and Amber could hear her.

"Yes? And you know you can call me Theon, Right?" I asked back with my mind still occupied by my internal train of thoughts.

"According to a very old scripture, a long time ago the Dungeons could grant people advanced classes or in some cases, they could give a reward pre-determined by the Dungeon Quest. Can you try to give someone here a quest to be a Cleric? Or another healer class? Because no one here has even an aptitude for healing."

"I can try, but isn't it a bad idea to give someone an occupation that conflicts with their aptitudes?" I asked after a brief pause to think.

"Normally yes. But I never had aptitude either. Lanka as well. We are what churches in this world call unsanctioned or godless clerics. We have chosen to be clerics, but we never learned which god gave us powers," Irene explained, making me re-evaluate all my previous thoughts.

I looked at her confused."Wait... I thought you were in the service of Eriar."

"Well… technically. Eriar doesn't speak directly to me or Lanka, but he granted us new powerful skills. It's complicated. On one hand, he gives us new incredible skills but on the other, he doesn't speak to us. Other clerics or priests I met before claimed their patron god sometimes speaks to them."

"Mhm. Eriar told me he can't guide me. Maybe that's why he doesn't speak with you or Lanka. That would explain his silence. Or the other priests you had met previously just hear voices after some heavy intoxication. Or they simply made that up. Dunno." I thoughtfully answered. I shrugged after a moment and added this piece of information to my ever-growing pile of things I fucked up. Because yeah. Fuck the intro. "How many healers do they want?"

"For now let's just check if this works. As... What did you call that? A proof of concept?" Irene smiled brightly. She shrugged off my remark about other priests.

"Sure. There you goooo... What the?!" I looked at a piece of paper with the quest.

It cost me one hundred thousand mana to create this quest and, looking at its content, it is the worst kind of chain quest you can get in any mmo-rpg. Get x item drops from one kind of monster. Then make some shit from them, and after that get even more item drops from another monster in the same zone, like that couldn't be done at the same time as the previous looting. It was the worst and the laziest kind of quest that has at least ten steps.

"Irene... I'm sorry. It took a great deal of my mana but this quest is... Ugh..." I gave her this embarrassing display of the worst quest design but instead of her disapproval, or even resignation, I saw excitement.

"I never, ever heard about such a class! It sounds incredible!" She nearly screamed and then turned towards Knys and with a serious face that I could swear was achievable only for me by using my poker face, she inquired. "Guild Master Knys. No one you brought here is able to be a healer naturally. However, we were able to help. But it's up to you to choose which one of your young adventurers will try to complete this quest. But remember! Only someone who is classless can accept this job."

Knys took the sheet of office paper like some holy relic and read its contents, his brow in astonishment at first, but after seeing the reward, his jaw dropped and he moved his free hand to cover it.

"Thank you, my Queen. We will make good use of it," he bowed so deeply he almost fell on his face. But Irene smiled and spoke.

"If this will work, we can promise you some more class-granting quests."

I pondered on that thought for a moment. If I gain even a little mana from it, then why not? Anyway, one thing was still for sure. Being a dungeon is hard.


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