NOVEL FROG 1. The mission
Soooo...
I died. Simple as that? No, oh no.
Trust me on this one.
My day started well. I woke up at 10:00 with a little help from an alarm clock. It was a perfect autumn day, the second day of October 2068. I ate my breakfast and upon looking at the fridge, I found a little bleaked out note from my wife that I had to do a shopping run. So, after taking all the pills the good doctor prescribed me, I picked up my walking cane and headed toward the shop.
Yeah. I'm old. I lived a fulfilling, though unexciting, life.
I bought some vegetables in the grocery store then entered the bakery, enticed by freshly baked bread. Or more precisely, garlic bread.
And when I was heading out, BAM! I fucking fell and hit my head.
Only darkness...
Wait, what the fuck?
Haha, do you think that's it? Nope.
I 'woke up' on the way to the ambulance waiting across the street. However, I watched it in 3rd person. I heard the medics yelling and pointing. They tried to speed up but then they jumped away aaaand...
Seriously?
Truck-kun? For fuck's sake...
Yeah. That's how I knew something was up. No one does such overkill to kill a 79-year-old dude. But I have watched enough anime in my life so I know the rules.
Truck-kun was the harbinger of a new journey in fantasy land...
Hmmm... Okay?
I looked but saw only darkness around me. No light to lead me, no Saint Peter laughing at me and my naïve hopes about truck-kun’s rules. So I waited. And waited.
"I'm still waiting!"
"Then move your ass up here!" a powerful male voice sounded from above.
I looked up and sighed. When I finally figured out how to fly or whatever in my current state, I managed to stand before The Gates of Heaven.
Take the side entrance? Seriously?!
A male angel, trying to be as sneaky as a 10-year-old who thought he was a drug dealer, came to me quickly and spoke with a hushed voice.
"Listen! We don't have much time before Saint Peter gets an update on you," he stated while covering me with his huge wing.
"Ok..."
"So here is the deal. We’ll make sure your wife and kids go to heaven when they kick the bucket if you will help us."
"Ok. Wait... What?" I was dumbfounded.
"Excellent! So we have a deal! Now I'm gonna send you to the other guy and he will explain the details to you."
And then, just like that, a floor made from light itself opened under me.
And I discovered I can't fly anymore. Yeah. I fell down.
But contrary to my expectations, I was not falling towards Earth. I was crossing space itself, the darkness and light itself. I was falling for a few eternities or just a few seconds. I felt the passing of time and the tickings of aeons around me. I was the heart of the star and the power of the wind. I gained knowledge and lost it at the same time. And then...
And then I was sitting in a cosy room near the fireplace looking at a middle-aged man with a typical John Doe face number 2.
"Ummm ... Hello?" I started.
"You might be confused, mortal, but you have died..." the entity started with a calm voice full of compassion.
"Dude... I know. I was truck-kunned so hard that they even killed my groceries." I cut him off early. "Let's skip the intro. I died. Dying wasn't as bad as I was afraid it would be. I mean, you guys had enough decency to anaesthetize me with that fall before running truck-kun over me, so...yeah..."
The entity looked at me for a moment, and he was clearly unprepared for a soul like me. He tried one more time.
"You died..."
"Listen. I was 79 when the angels decided that I'm dying today. 79. I was already packing my proverbial bags for the other side, anyway."
The entity sighed, resigned.
"Fine! I also see you are not some kid, jumpy and scared, so that actually might work. I have a problem."
"I'm listening Mr...?"
"Eriar."
"Nice to meet you, Mr Eriar. I'm..."
"You will be called Theon."
I was looking at pop-ups mindlessly, so the afterlife was in an RPG setting. Fine by me.
"Ok. I can be called Theon. So what is the problem?" I looked at him with a soft smile.
"We run a little project on the side..." he started slowly, but stopped like he just lost his notes.
"Like you and the angels?"
"Well... Yeah. Anyway, let's call it my world, ok?"
"Sure." I agreed.
"Thank you. So my world is currently in dire need of help."
"You mean a hero?"
"No. Something more powerful. A dungeon."
I blinked a few times.
"A dungeon? Like in D&D? Are we essentially talking about a building?" I was lost. They got me good, since I had technically already agreed.
"Well, not really... You will be unique. Listen, you are a great dude with potential, so you can save my world. And its inhabitants. But there is a catch." He looked at me with a sour face.
"A catch?" I was sitting powerless in my chair, still wondering how exactly I was unique.
"I can't guide you. I can't help you besides cheating the system and giving you all the best skills possible. But after that, you’ll be all on your own."
"So you're sending me to your world without a clue of what the fuck I have to do there?"
"Just be yourself. All collateral damages are calculated in the risk."
"Hmmm..." I scratched my head and stopped. I looked around the room and I saw a little mirror in the corner. "Excuse me for a moment."
Eriar nodded. I slowly went to the mirror and looked at my reflection. Yup. Once again I was young, and buff like never before.
"Since I have already agreed, I guess I have no other choice than to dissolve into nothing and become a building..."
Eriar looked at me and smiled after waving his hand. Whatever I obtained was glitched to the point I couldn't decipher it. But I was wearing some comfy armour and robes.
"So I think you’re all set. Oh! As a dungeon, you will use your skills by just focusing on them."
"Okay..."
I tried to pick up something from my supposed inventory. I closed my eyes and envisioned garlic bread in my hand and haha! It was in my hand.
"Wow..." I simply stated. This could've been fun if I stayed human. But being a building would be interesting too. Maybe.
I lied to myself just now. However... No, this would suck.
"I see you are ready. Just be yourself. Be the good guy you were on Earth and everything will be alright."
"Ehhh... Thanks for the next life, I guess. I'll try my best. I hope." I bit the garlic bread as I started to dissolve into nothingness.
"Thank you, Theon."
The room vanished, and my vision started to blur. It was again dark.
And windy?
I opened my eyes and looked straight forward.
For God's sake... I was falling one more time.
But this time, with purpose and garlic bread in my hand.