Sword and Snow

Emery opened her eyes slowly. It was still early, judging by the relative lack of light in the bedroom, and she blinked blearily trying to get her vision straight.

“Morning, love.” Avuri said from her right. Emery turned toward her wife and blinked the sleep from her eyes. Avuri was propped up against her pillows and had been reading a book quietly before Emery awoke. Emery offered a goofy, half-lidded smile in her still sleepy state. She wiggled a bit to sit up more normally against her pillows, then scooted closer to Avuri.

Avuri placed her book on the small bedside table to resettle herself and she put an arm around Emery’s shoulders, pulling her further in so that she rested more fully against Avuri. Avuri kissed Emery’s head and then leaned her cheek against Emery.

Emery sighed, fully content to spend all day right there. She leaned into the cuddle, laying her head against Avuri’s collarbone. She delighted in the feeling of Avuri running her fingers through her hair and massaging her scalp. Avuri would often do this, her fingers tracing the faint lines of the scars hidden under her hair.

Emery smiled happily. “You know, I had a dream about the night I told you about my scars.” She shivered slightly under the gentle scratching. “Never would I have thought then that we’d be in this position now.”

Avuri laughed. “No, I suppose not. I knew I was interested in you, but I’m pretty sure at the time I thought it was more related to your interesting fighting skills.” She paused. “Well, maybe. I do recall thinking you were attractive but that’s just a Cultivator thing.”

With a nod, Emery considered the line of thought. “Same here, I think. I feel like Cultivator bodies make being attractive kinda cheap. I don’t want to say something like ‘when everyone is attractive, no one is,’ but it feels that way a little bit.”

Avuri moved to more fully embrace Emery in a hug as they cuddled, pulling Emery nearly into her lap. “I see what you’re saying though. When everyone around you is gorgeous, you take note of physical beauty less. Unless someone is to your particular taste, I suppose.”

“Yeah, that’s more or less the idea. I do think you are beautiful, Ri. But so are so many other Cultivators, that the impact was a little lost on me when we first met.” Emery chuckled, lost in thought. “Honestly, I kinda regret it now. That we didn’t have a moment where our eyes met at that tournament and we both were just stopped dead by each other.”

Avuri snickered. “Maybe not, but I will say that our second meeting left one hell of an impression on me. Seeing you completely covered in blood and crying over a dying child…It was like a tragic painting. Beautiful but so forlorn and sad. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.”

Emery thumped the back of her head against Avuri’s chest playfully. “You know, I barely even remember that day? It’s all in snippets and flashes, despite being one of the most pivotal moments of my whole life.”

“No, I can see how that’s the case. You were really shaken up when I found you, and we barely ever talk about any of those days.” Avuri responded. “I’m still not sure if talking about their memories with the kids would be better or worse than not.”

“I’m not sure. I think we’ve been taking the right approach by varying it for each kid. I don’t want to force anyone to relive the hell they went through and talk about it if they seem like they’re adjusting well. And if they aren’t adjusting well…well, everyone is different. We can only do our best to help everywhere we can.”

“I know.” Avuri said. “I think we’ve had a pretty good record so far. Everyone in the family at the moment is at least doing well.”

“Yeah. I’m really proud of what we’ve managed to do so far.” Emery murmured quietly, still relaxed. “Imagine what we could do with the hundreds or thousands of years of a Cultivator’s lifetime.”

They both went quiet at that, seemingly content to think about it as they cuddled together in bed in the dim light before sunrise.

A few minutes passed before Avuri spoke. “Where do you think we’d be if I chose not to come and see you after I got your letter?” Her voice carried the distinct lilt of someone curious and deep in thought.

“You’d probably still be a member of the Frozen Mountain Sect, I imagine. And I would probably be doing this, just far less well without you.” Emery said, matter-of-factly.

Avuri chuckled. “Ever the pragmatic one, you. I meant it though; where do you think we’d be?”

Emery snorted. “You say I’m just being pragmatic, but it’s true. If you hadn’t come to visit, I’d probably still be running this place. Maybe leaning on Uncle Vale and my brothers and sisters more, though. And you didn’t have any real tangible plans to leave the Frozen Mountain until my letter, so there’s no reason to expect you’d be anywhere else but there. Maybe even on your way to be a Master or an Elder.” She paused for just a moment before adding, “Well, even you aren’t that old yet,” with a snicker.

Avuri swatted her shoulder in retaliation. “Jerk. Be serious.”

Emery smiled and settled into Avuri’s hug again. “Okay, okay.” She said, trying to settle Avuri down a little. Then she thought about it. “I really don’t know. Obviously, I would be living here. I was before I sent you the letter after all.” She made a face after that. “I don’t think…” She took a breath. “I don’t think I’d have the same kids here. I can’t speak to the number either way. But I…Well, we made it to Stena because of you, so…”

Avuri gave Emery a comforting caress, turning her wife’s head toward her. “I’m sure even without me around, you still would save any and all you could. But of course you’d have different leads without me around.” Avuri said as she bumped their foreheads together.

“I don’t think you’re right about me, though.” Avuri said thoughtfully. “When your letter arrived, I think I was looking for an excuse to travel. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know that I would’ve left the Mountain so permanently, but I do think I would’ve taken a long trip. Who knows who I could’ve met if I went East instead of West.”

Emery smiled, a little bit of danger glinted in her eyes. “You think you would’ve settled with someone else?”

“I don’t think anyone else out there could have captivated me quite the way you did,” Avuri said without missing a beat.

“Good answer.” Emery returned, laughter clear in her tone. “Even though I’m sure you would’ve found someone. You’re wonderful and very easy to love, Ri.”

Avuri gave her wife a kiss in response. “So are you. I was shocked at how easily you told me all of that stuff when we first met. You barely knew me, and there you were, just putting it all out there.”

Emery nodded. “It was exactly like I told you then. I like being an open book when it comes to the core of who I am. I’m not ashamed, and I’m not particularly secretive - at least to friends. But more than anything else, all of the stuff I told you that night is so critical to who I am as a person. It’s never sat right with me, holding that stuff back from people who are even remotely close to me.”

She snickered. “Hell, I don’t really hide it from anyone except those I might consider enemies. I’ve told watered down versions of it all to kids on the streets of cities if they ask about my scars.”

Avuri looked down at her with mild disapproval. “I hope you -”

“I’ve never told any kid any version of it that would be even a little scary. Or at least nothing more so than ‘I was kidnapped when I was little, so be good and listen to your parents,’ anyway.”

Avuri took that in and considered it. “I hope you didn’t accidentally scar anyone’s children by putting thoughts in their heads that they could just randomly be kidnapped.”

“You know as well as I do that it’s a very unfortunate and very real possibility, Ri. But I do agree. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone in a way that would be scarring.” She paused, thinking about it a bit more. “This world is kinda shit, isn’t it? With all the demonic bullshit.”

Avuri muttered an affirmative. “If nothing else, whoever developed the techniques to influence and harm children should be well and truly punished. Though I imagine they probably weren’t.”

“Not sure anyone really knows. Most demonic techniques don’t have their histories tracked the way most regular Cultivator techniques do. And when they can be traced back to someone or somewhere specific, it’s usually either a random beast or some old asshole who’s still out there being evil and bragging about it.”

“Even knowing that, it would really be nice to have someone to direct all the disgust and anger at.” Avuri said, with a bit of an edge to her voice. “Hunting demonic Cultivators is great, but it doesn't really change anything. Not really.”

“You don't need to tell me.” Emery said with a heavy sigh. “I know we're doing what we can. But there's too many demonic Cultivators out there that are way too strong for us to deal with. We'd need to get a lot stronger before we could deal with them. And that also means leaving their underlings alone.”

Avuri hugged Emery a bit tighter. “We'll keep doing what we can. And it's not like we've been slacking on our own Cultivation. We'll get there.”

“I know. We can still do plenty while we're in the Sky Realm. We'll keep working on our Domain control and work toward the Heavenly Realm.” Emery said, letting her Qi flow just a bit to reinforce her intent. Avuri’s fingers trailing through her hair calmed Emery quickly, lulling her back into relaxation.

“Follow your own advice, Merri. Do what you can to improve. Don't let what you can't affect get you down. Don't get caught up in negativity. Choose happiness.” Avuri said, repeating some of Emery's favorite little adages.

Emery burst out laughing then. Avuri looked down at her, confused, as Emery got her giggles under control. Once she did so, one of her hands reached up to tangle in Avuri's as of yet uncombed locks. With a big smile on her face, Emery pulled her wife down into a kiss.

“You're exactly right. And I just recently overheard Stena giving the exact same advice to Arek.” She said, by way of explanation. “It's so easy to give that sort of advice, and even to see the wisdom of it. It’s so much harder to actually live it.”

“You've done well so far, love.” Avuri chuckled. “I think you're maybe the best of us when it comes to living out that advice. Well, maybe except for Vale and Stena. Stena in particular. That girl is something else.”

“I know.” Emery said. “One of the things about myself that I take the most pride in is my ability to endure a lot of bullshit and keep smiling and being happy. But Stena is such a ray of sunshine, there's just no way for me to compete.”

They both smiled for a moment before Emery suddenly flinched. It seemed the sun had risen, and a bright ray of sunshine had made its way into their room and was currently landing squarely in Emery’s eyes. With a grunt, she put an arm up to shield herself from the sudden brightness.

This all just made Avuri laugh. “Speaking of sunshine. I suppose we should get up.”

“Nah.” Emery said, leaning back and looking straight up at Avuri. “We can spare ten…twenty minutes.” She grinned deviously.

“And just what do you plan to do for those twenty or so minutes?” Avuri asked, smiling back playfully.

“I'm gonna make you shine brighter than the sun.” She said coolly.

Avuri’s face went deadpan so fast that Emery could have sworn she heard the sound barrier break. “No. Just…no. That was bad, even for you.”

“Sorry…” Emery apologized. “I was just trying to keep the whole sun theme going.”

“I know. Still wasn't good.” Avuri said, playfully shoving Emery away.

And then Emery tackled her to the bed.