Sword and Snow

“Stena? Where’d you go?” Stena heard Arek call around the corner. After breakfast, she had wandered over to the meditation pavilion after the younger kids had gone to play - and that’s where she was now. As she opened her eyes and rolled her neck, Stena tumbled backward onto her back to stretch out after the long meditation.

“I’m here, Arek.” she said, lazily waving a hand from the position on the floor. The pavilion was empty except for the two of them. Given it was a ‘day off’, Stena imagined everyone else was either playing with the younger kids on the playground, or relaxing in their own homes. Maybe Kord had taken a small group to the city, but that seemed unlikely.

As her brother came around the corner, Stena stretched her arms and legs as far as they would go, just trying to get the blood flowing. Then swung herself back into a seated position to smile at him. “What’s up, bud?”

Arek made a sour face at me as he came to sit down across from her. He looked like he was still dirty from playing in the playground. Sweaty too. He looked like he wanted to say or ask something, so she waited. After a few false starts and downcast looks, he finally got the words out.

“Stena, how do you deal with being so…weak?” He looked up at her, clearly upset. Stena was about to retort with a ‘how dare you call me weak?’ or something similar, but that clearly wasn’t what he meant, and his face was clearly serious.

Instead, she scooted a little closer. “You’re gonna need to be a little clearer than asking how to deal with being weak, Arek.”

“Ah…” He nodded, looking down at the ground again. “We were playing in the playground earlier, right?” He began. She nodded in response. “We were playing tag. Some of the older kids got involved, too - and it was really fun.” Stena nodded along quietly to keep him talking.

“Star got a little worried she wouldn’t be able to keep up with the big kids and ran to me for help.” As he continued, Stena was pretty sure she understood now where this was all headed. “I was trying to help keep her from getting tagged. Not that I thought I really could - I know that if any of the bigger kids really wanted to, there’s nothing I could do to stop them.”

He sighed. “But Enrik…man, it was like I wasn’t even there. I couldn’t react in time to him moving to even try to get tagged in Star’s place, let alone stop him from tagging either of us.” Stena felt for the boy, as he was clearly sulking. “Star was fine, of course. Mom got involved and kept things fun. But…I was just so useless, you know?”

Stena took a minute to gather her thoughts before she spoke. “Yeah, I get that. I won’t lie to you, Arek. Part of that is just hard baked into the way Cultivation works. The differences in strength between the Realms is near insurmountable for most people. And even then, those few special cases still require special circumstances or something. Beyond that, you’re still in the Core Formation stage, and the jump between there and the Human Realm is…well, let’s just say vast.” Stena chuckled, trying to keep the mood light.

She shuffled closer again, to put an arm around Arek’s shoulders to comfort him. “Getting used to people a stage or more above you easily beating you is something all Cultivators have to deal with. It’s not easy.” Stena took a deep breath. “Especially for those of us here. The vast majority of us have been in a position where someone had complete control over us, so we all know what it feels like to be truly helpless.”

Arek nodded solemnly. “I know that.”

“And I know you know that.” Stena said cheerily, and poked Arek’s cheek. “And I’m not saying that makes it easier. If anything, it makes it harder; to be reminded of those times.”

“So…how do you do it, Stena?” Arek said, his eyes coming back up to meet hers. “You’re usually so happy and fun. How do you stay that way all the time?”

Stena smiled, and patted him on the head. “Well, first, I’m not happy all the time. I’m happy a lot, sure, but not all the time. Expecting to find a way to be happy or in a good mood all the time is pointless. There’s always going to be something that crops up to get you down or make you upset, and pretending there’s not is just being silly.”

“But. One thing I think I’m really good at is not dwelling on bad things. Even in everyday life, there’s lots of things that I don’t like or that make me upset. The first bit of my advice for you, bud? Take what you can’t control in stride. There’s no point in wasting energy being upset about something you can’t control. Holding onto things will just make you more and more upset. It’s better to move on and look forward to whatever good thing is coming next.”

Arek nodded slowly, taking in Stena’s words, but she continued. “Second, though, is recognizing what things you can do something about - and doing it. That’s where you’re at right now. Yes, Enrik is much, much stronger than you. There’s pretty much nothing you can do right now to stop him from walking over you in a fight like he did today.”

The boy’s head fell further, as Stena hugged his shoulders. “Now, that said, you can take action to prevent that in the future. And even better, you already are.” She offered Arek a crooked smile when he looked up at her.

“The biggest point that I want to make to you is that putting both of the previous bits into practice together is how I manage. Especially when it comes to your strength with Cultivation - you need time. Being as ‘weak’ as you are now isn’t a problem that needs fixing. It’s just where you’re at, and developing strength takes time. I’m sure you’ve heard it enough from our moms, but Cultivation is a long distance run, not a sprint. Rushing will get you nowhere. It may even be bad for you.”

“Instead, take heart knowing that you’re trying to improve, and when you’re training or meditating, make sure you give it your all. Or at least 80%. Sometimes, even the greatest warrior can get distracted by thoughts about what’s for dinner, yeah?” She said and nudged him.

Arek, thankfully, finally let a grin slip as Stena continued. “In addition - and this is maybe even more important, so listen to me here - you shouldn’t worry so much about stuff you can’t directly affect right now. While you’re doing what you can to be happy with yourself in the future, there’s no reason you can’t also be happy now..”

Stena smiled wide then. “I want to say first, that this next bit doesn’t apply to everyone. But. I do think that there are a lot of people out there that are totally stuck in their own heads, and don’t realize that being happy, or being satisfied, is a choice.”

“I don’t think anyone in the world has ever been truly, 100% happy or satisfied. No matter who you are or what’s going on around you, there will always be something that you can worry about or obsess over. Taking those things in stride and choosing to be happy or satisfied anyway. That is how I ‘stay happy all the time’, as you put it.”

Stena thought for a moment, to be sure she had said everything she wanted to before finally nodding. “It takes some work to be sure, but I think you’re on the right track, Arek. Don’t focus so much on Enrik beating you. You’re working to improve, and there’s nothing meaningful you can do about it now. So!” Stena declared loudly, and stood up, offering Arek a hand. When he took it, she pulled him up to his feet, and then up off his feet to hold him by his arm, so their faces were level with one another.

“For now, just go have fun and be a kid.” She said unceremoniously, and dropped Arek to his feet.

He stood there a moment, mulling over her words. Eventually, it seemed to click into place and he nodded, then darted in to give Stena a hug around her waist. At nine, Arek still only came up to about her chest when they stood by one another.

“Thanks, Sis.”

Stena smiled and ruffled his hair. “You’re welcome. Now get out of here and go play with the others. I can hear them still roughhousing out there.”

With a nod, Arek trotted off, looking much better than he had when he arrived.

After staring after him for a moment, Stena turned back toward the rest of the room, opposite where Arek had left. “So?”

“So, what?” Emery said, as she slipped out from behind one of the pavilion walls.

“You’ve been watching for a while. Why?” Stena asked.

Emery smiled warmly, looking toward where Arek ran off. “I saw him leave the playground earlier after Ri broke up our little game,” she said, running fingers through her damp hair. “I wanted to be sure he was alright; and it looks like you took care of him wonderfully, Stena.” And then Emery turned back toward her with a wolfish grin on her face. “Even if many of those words sounded awfully familiar.” She teased.

Stena could feel her ears and cheeks go hot as she flushed. “Shut up, Mom. You just give good advice, okay?” She retorted petulantly.

Emery laughed as she walked up and gave her daughter a quick hug. Stena was taller than Emery’s 5’4”, and she struggled not to laugh when the shorter woman hugged her. She very nearly patted her mother’s head as a joke.

“I’m glad you could help him.” Emery said, seriously. “I bet that same advice sounds much better coming from a sister than a mom.”

“I dunno.” Stena said, thinking back to her own childhood when Emery had given her a much similar pep talk. “I think who it came from mattered less than when we got it. I was still fresh out of hell when I freaked out on you and we had our talk.”

Stena looked off toward the playground, where Arek was reinstating himself. “He’s already done a good portion of his healing and could process what I was saying.”

“As opposed to you, bawling your eyes out and carrying on for hours.” Emery said bluntly.

Stena narrowed her eyes on her mother. “Hey. I was a kid. And seriously traumatized.”

“I know. I was only teasing, Stena.” Emery said, reaching up to muss her daughter’s hair. Stena went a bit more red around the ears, and knocked Emery’s hand away.

“Stop that.”

Emery just laughed in response. “Why? I know you like it, even if you get embarrassed so easily.”

“I don’t like it!”

“Uh huh. Of course you don’t!” Emery teased again.

That was when Stena threw a punch, which Emery ducked with ease. Her mother laughed loudly again, her hand still firmly planted on her head.

“Oh, you little shit!”

Avuri heard shouting and laughter suddenly erupt from the meditation pavilion. She turned back to look, but couldn’t see anything from where she stood on the playground. Still, she could easily recognize Emery’s voice and Stena’s tortured laughter.

She just shook her head with a smile. “Poor girl.”