Soulforged Dungeoneer

You know, there are some people who would probably laugh about the idea of a solo diver who went on to learn just how important other people can be. Like, ooo, you thought you could do it all, huh? Assholes. Like I really wanted to be alone in the first place.

Point is, Herman was a godsend (though the god in the room might disagree). And before him... Merry and Louise had both kept me from probably screwing everything up, because I know i was gonna. He poked and prodded me until I got out a number of conditions I might have otherwise forgotten about, while ensuring that I didn't get out of control with my demands, either. Not that I was really likely to think I had the giant dragon-god over a barrel, but ignorance has its own kind of arrogance to it--some things were just not as simple as I might have thought.

It became more and more clear as time went on that some of my requests, at least the way I thought about them in my head, were not going to just be handed to me in any sense.

At one point I'd been trying to negotiate vis a vis getting specific skills up in their ranking, and Kalamitus just kind of rolled his eyes and finally broke in.

"Jerry, I know that this whole thing with promises from a God makes it sound like I can just give you things, but the kind of advice I have to give you with regards to skills is less about handing you things and more about relatively broad guidance. For example, you asked about getting your Telekinesis above S-rank." The dragon head moved off to one side and appraised me from a different angle, though I think it was more boredom than a need to actually get a look at me. "I could tell you some exercises, some medicines and equipment, tell you what stats need improvement, and I could tell you what it means for a skill to reach the lowest X-ranks, but I can't simply wave my hand," and he waved his claw as demonstration, in case I needed it, "and grant you a higher letter or more Growth Points. The system only measures your actual skill, and improving your own skill is required."

It's not as though I didn't sort of get that, but I thought there might have been, like, a secret training facility where he could provide me with the perfect everything-I-needed to become a demigod-level monster. I didn't say that, exactly, but the look on my face must have shown that I was frustrated, because Kalamitus' patience suddenly seemed to start wearing thin.

I know that because he placed one of his big clawed hands uncomfortably close to me as he reared up and looked almost straight down at me.

"Don't get testy with me, boy," he snarled, and held a clawed hand up to forestall an objection from Herman. "I'm negotiating in good faith, and ultimately, I am," and he put another clawed hand on his chest in a very theatrical, 'I'm innocent' gesture, "on your side, after all. But you humans," and his innocent-me claw turned to pointing right at me, "can only dream small, because you only have part of the picture. Until that changes--"

"Be aware what you're about to say could be considered a binding promise," interjected Herman, with a strange sort of edge to his words.

"--until you have a bit more understanding..." his momentum faltered, as happened whenever he started throwing it around in this discussion, "you'll just have to... accept that we have limitations that you don't know."

Which was true, of course. I'm sure he was going to try to say, 'Trust me', and I still didn't, especially at a time like this, but it didn't matter much.

Anyway, over the next half hour or so we tried to negotiate for my rewards, as awkward and confusing as the topic was for me. There were a bunch of little things on my list of benefits that were basically just information dumps about skills I already had, list of skills that might be of use, and similar, some more pointed things about what it took to get to the highest skill growth ranks with a skill like Telekinesis, and also how to get to the highest level with Skill Sage and Enhancement Sage, since those were things I genuinely had no idea about. He also promised to clarify a few things about my custom class and how to mess around with it better.

The next interesting piece happened when I brought up the trip through the Fairy Dungeon that Kalamitus had proscribed, because Herman had a keen interest in that discussion, and it was the kind of interest that suggested that maybe it was a more difficult task than Kalamitus had made it sound.

"A Fairy Dungeon? As part of your quest, at his level?" Herman's mask turned to meet the dragon's eye directly, and Kalamitus responded by rolling his head again in exasperation.

"He's a promising candidate," the god argued in return. "A solo diver with a fairy companion destined to become an Administrator. Certainly, you would agree--"

"If this was part of your instruction from the beginning, it should have been a part of your quest and your negotiations from the start. Your budget of--" and Herman said something I couldn't hear, which was presumably the same Kalamitus had said before, "--hardly seems like a fair trade for a task that dangerous."

Kalamitus, showing enough patience that it had to be a deliberate and premediated act, responded politely, "I'm happy to alter the budget if you believe it is too low, Arbiter."

The fairy arbiter and dragon god stared at each other for a good half minute. I thought for a minute that they were being silent, you know, having one of those cinematic stare-offs that was secretly some kind of battle of wills, where the camera would be bouncing between one face and another, focusing in on small tells on each face, until one broke... but Merry added after a bit that they seemed to be haggling, and I just couldn't hear it, as I couldn't hear the numbers and units they were using before.

"While I appreciate that you are attempting to arbitrate," Kalamitus said as the haggling wore down, "my only intent in using the Fairy Dungeon was expediency, for both our sakes. I'm equally fine with this taking longer--"

"As Arbiter, I can't ignore the fact that you had previously set it out as the plan, while then failing to include it in the negotiations, especially given the trusting nature of Mr. Applebee." Herman made some kind of dismissive gesture with one hand. "If he had followed your directions--"

"I'm also not without responsibilities, and my budget is not limitless." Kalamitus reared up a bit, imperiously, as though straightening in his chair, except for the fact that he was a giant flying snake and not sitting on anything. His eyes, for once, were pouring out some kind of intense magical pressure that I was very glad wasn't directed at me, because even looking in his direction suddenly became painful. "I always intended to assure that he succeeds at his task--"

"Cease." Herman, with the wave of one hand, summoned from the sky above Kalamitus one giant black hairy spider leg that connected with the back of the Dragon God's head and, as though Kalamitus were only a worm, pushed through whatever resistance he might have had and pinned him to the floor. "You will not--"

The god's body flailed for a moment, and after only a second of that, with a surge of rage that I didn't need to be a telepath to sense or understand, suddenly in my mind I felt a crystal clear picture of something that resembled the engine Merry had mentally pictured, the one at the center of my Dungeoneer body--except that, I realized, it was really dozens or hundreds of those engines chained together and acting as one, and they were starting to kick into gear after having been idle--indeed, most of those engines had been off, but were no longer.

Kalamitus' body rose, and Herman's summoned suppressing spider leg tore apart with a purity of violence that left me with a new high bar for what that concept felt like, magically... though, the fairy himself didn't look impressed.

"You will NOT threaten me in my own temple, fairy." Kalamitus' words might as well have been delivered by a wave of energy shaking the entire tower itself. "Do not presume--"

Herman's quiet voice didn't need to compete with Kalamitus'. "Are you going to interfere with my job as Arbiter, Dungeon God Kalamitus?"

The dragon stared at the fairy, and this time there was clearly a contest of wills going on. Kalamitus, clearly refusing to be on the losing side of that fight, bared his teeth and simply said, "Yes."

"Then I call upon the Lord Beneath to mediate our dispute."

I wish that I knew what happened after that, I really do. It's no spoiler to say that, later on, I was told what happened--in a paraphrased sense. But I had already seen, already known, that whatever magic there was to the system, was capable of simply changing things that had seemed set in stone, and that included thought, memory, and understanding. Merry, too, did not escape notice here; while (from what we could tell) none of her earlier memories were affected, including knowledge "stolen" by her fairy trickery, she simply knew nothing of what happened in that interval.

We simply weren't allowed to know what happened, and every trace of it was removed, save for the result. All I really knew was that time had passed, and that Herman, on my behalf, had succeeded. In addition to the increased budget Kalamitus had asked for, there was some kind of penalty against him, and that was all I needed to know. Kalamitus, for his part, didn't look different, except that he seemed pissed off, and had lowered his "engine level" back down again--though, I think, it was still a little higher than it had been at the start.

"So!" Herman turned to me, and though I could tell he was still a little pissed off from having just come from an argument--and that was a scary proposition given I had no idea what had just happened--he seemed otherwise unaffected and professional. "Mr. Applebee, with that increase in budget, and knowing a bit more about the circumstances, I'd like to offer you suggestions. First, though, I'd like to make sure that we're firmly and completely on the same page. Are there any other things Mr. Kalamitus has asked of you? Ongoing quests, perhaps?"

"Well, now that you mention it--" before the words were even out of my mouth, the Quest that I'd gotten to visit this tower, which had never officially concluded, did--there was no reward, because the 'reward' had been given when I accepted it. I considered the window in front of me, and told Herman about it all anyway.

"Hm." Herman looked back at the wyrm, who stared back, as though challenging the fairy to take offense. "Well, we can't do anything about what was already agreed to and concluded, but I'd advise you not to take those kinds of deals in the future without consulting someone." He turned back to me, and his mask somehow forced me to hold my gaze on him, which wasn't comfortable. "Anything else? What exactly has been asked of you, so far?"

I took a deep breath and started talking, starting all the way from the beginning--the first mention of Kalamitus, when the Devil told me his 'Full Clear Quest' would involve delivering a message to the Dungeon God.

And Herman, insane, serious, astute little Herman, listened intently, and this time I was sure he was paying close attention.