Soulforged Dungeoneer

Summarizing what went on after that is a little complicated, and I don't think I could describe it in an interesting way. I was freaking out, and we went to a private place and I cried, and we talked for a long time. Like with Merry at the time, having Louise there kept me from freaking out and rushing either into it or away from it. Because... really, that's how I entered the Dungeons the first time, and I ended up suicidal and murderous and all kinds of lost. It worked out for me in the end, but... well, not for two other people, my victims.

Anyway, I won't keep you waiting on the big question: I was pretty clear that I wanted to do the quest, get the rewards, and see what the hell this full clear thing was about. The real question was... what the fuck, right? I mean, Kalamitus was damn near psychotic, if that little show he put on was any indication. He had to know that he was intimidating me in order to crush my spirit and make me agree to whatever. I wouldn't believe for a moment that he was a good person at heart.

Merry was kind of troubled, and I thanked her profusely as soon as I realized how she'd helped, but we didn't talk deeply about it. I did my best to make sure she understood (not that I should have to--she was in my head) that she really was family to me and not a parasite or whatever. And after a bit, she came out and sought comfort from Cassie, which the little phoenix gladly gave, and that also gave Louise and I some space to be together.

Which we did.

After a bit, I got a message from Max asking if we were gonna be out soon, and I told him probably not. So his group, with an emoji-style farewell that was somehow both crass and overbearingly friendly, said they'd head off and wished us luck. That reminded me to send a note to Susie, who Louise said was elsewhere in the inn, giving her a summary and promising to meet up tomorrow to talk.

And that left Louise and I, and Merry and Cassie, alone for a while. I'm sure you're thinking it was all fun and no business, but far from it--since Louise and I had found that we could talk with the telepathy skill and be a little more ourselves and a little less anxious dummies, we kind of lay entangled for a while and I was completely honest with her and she was as earnest and frank in response as I could hope.

What would you do if you became Administrator, anyway? she asked, at one point.

And I had to admit I had no idea. Because for all the video games in the world, and tabletop games besides, I wasn't much of a creator myself. If you asked me to create a scene, a story... well, I just wasn't good at filling in the details, you know? My brain didn't work that way. Trying to create some kind of ideal training environment for mankind...

Maybe you're not the right person for the job.

I considered what she said; I really did. But at the same time, I couldn't help thinking that as bad as I was... I wouldn't want a Max Bean in that place, nor most of the people I'd seen at the government meeting with Ethanic. Certainly not High Priestess Cream. And... if nothing else, I needed to hear why the other Administrator, Xarz-whatever, thought I deserved the job. And I did want whatever help I could get to save Bo, if that was even really possible.

Enslaving a life in order to save them... to redeem them. It sounds like a shitty justification to take the easy way out, except the easy way out is just killing him. I don't like it. Louise shifted in my arms, and repeated quietly, "I don't like it." I nodded, because what could I say to that? I wished, again, that I'd never bought the skill, never exchanged lives for power that I didn't even want. But if I had it... if I could in any way redeem--

I stopped, because I'd said not too long ago that I didn't want to redeem myself, didn't think I needed to redeem myself. And, well, I didn't; not for the murder, not for that sin. But just having this stupid thing connected to me, just the suggestion that I should use it, that it was an acceptable path to being stronger...

If you use it on enemies from the Dungeon, it's not really a sin. They're not people, and they're going to die anyway. Louise shook her head, suddenly. No, you're right. You don't want to become the kind of person that thinks that way. But... it's just a skill, right? What happens if you get there and try to use it and your skill level isn't high enough? Or it needs to be unlocked with Skill Sage? What if you can't find a way to free Bo before Kalamitus insists you move on? There's so much we don't know.

She wasn't wrong, but even if I practiced on dungeon creatures... I grit my teeth. As much as I hated the possibility, I probably... needed to ask Kalamitus.

I didn't like how much leverage the fucker had over me, though. The way he was acting, I would not have been surprised if he blackmailed me after, especially about something like this. Louise nodded, not needing to say or even think that she agreed. You need some kind of contract. A fair contract, that protects you.

I considered that thought, and my mind slipped to the Non-Disclosure Agreement, and to the stupid Crused Truth Aura that came with--

--that suggested that someone could be watching me right now, didn't it? I felt a cold surge of fear in me. I mentally flipped up the Class Feature:

The System is constantly scanning you and other items in the area. Skills [ Appraise ], [ Analyze ], [ Skill Sage ], [ Class Sage ], [ Monster Sage ], [ Human Sage ], [ Forensics ], [ Psychometry ], [ Telepathy ] increased within the area of effect.

I grit my teeth and pulled back a bit from Louise. Was that how Kalamitus had been able to adjust the Quest he gave me earlier? Immediately after I said it had to be my next priority? Was he able to reach me even here, when I was considering working against him?

"My point," said Louise, as she sat up grumpily behind me, "was that you need a third party. Maybe... as much as it's painful to be around him, Herman?"

"It's not like I can just call on him," I answered. "Even if I asked Kamau, how long would we have to wait for him to get here?"

"Kalamitus could reach him, I bet."

I snorted. "Why would he do me that favor? Especially if he wanted to--"

Louise put a hand on my back, her fingers cool against my skin. "Jerry... as a Priestess, I can tell you that the Dungeon Gods are restricted, and painfully so. It sounds like right now, he's so eager to get out that he'll do almost anything, but he doesn't want you to have control over him. A fair contract as determined by a neutral third party is fair request, and if he won't grant you that, you should walk away. Even if you don't think the contract is unfair, you should really have someone look over it."

None of which was wrong. It also raised the very real possibility in my mind that Kalamitus might as upset by the appearance of Herman as everyone else was, which would be a sight to see. But asking him to do it willingly...

Don't ask. Demand. And walk away if he refuses.

I turned to look at Louise. The difference between her mental voice and her physical one was... well, they seemed nothing alike, except for the fact that they were clearly the same person. Where her physical voice was always artificially high and soft, a performance to calm and please people, her mental voice was grounded by the work she had always had to do behind the scenes and under the mask to maintain that façade. Her persona of being harmless and innocent...

I've lived long enough to have outgrown that lie once, she answered my unspoken thought. Falling back into the old habit was natural, but... I don't need it to survive. The people who matter most stay. She worked her mouth for a moment, as though trying to work up the courage to say something, and when she finally spoke, with a sullen look in her eyes, finally her mouth made the same sound as her thoughts: warm, low, and surprisingly vulnerable. "At least... I hope you will."

I pounced on her, and we held each other on the bed in silence for a while. After a while--too long, and not long enough--my thoughts fell back to the important matters of the day. And then, as they often do, they slid to the side, distracted by a thought.

"You said that the... the Dungeon God you worship isn't in any of our dungeons," I said, putting into words something that had been building for a while. "There are fourteen, he said. And we know of all fourteen."

"Yeah. All I really know is that he's out there." Louise turned in the bed to stare at her priestess' dress, slung over the back of a chair. "He's... close, I think. But not close enough."

"Do you think...?"

"I don't know where he's come from or what he wants," she admitted, her voice kind of halfway between the mask and the real thing. "But he's eager to help. That much I know. And... I don't think he's trying to... spy on us. If there was anything like an invasion or a subversive thing going on, I think I'd have an impression that he was trying to get information. It's not that, or else it's really really subtle."

There were a lot of possibilities that ran through my mind--our minds, together--as we lay there, but there was no way to do more than guess. Some kind of Fairy thing? A remnant from a previous world hiding somewhere in the Star? Another Star somewhere within reach? Or perhaps a different kind of god that had somehow figured out how the system worked and replicated it? We simply didn't know enough.

Eventually, Louise ran one hand through my hair and said, "We really do need a plan for dealing with Kalamitus."

So we went back to talking about it, and talking, and talking. And... some other things, but inevitably, we needed an answer. And in the morning we talked with Susie, and with Merry, and they gave us their opinions but... in the end, it was all on me.

And so, nervously, the next day I requested to speak, again with Kalamitus. And, though it didn't surprise me much, he found time relatively quickly.

His rooms were the same, of course, and so was his demeanor and his appearance. It was all very dramatic and poignant and made it clear that he was a god and I a mortal, and this time from the very start, Merry was there keeping me on an even keel. Which was good, because I wasn't confident in my ability to execute on the plan, even as we'd all agreed it was right.

"Jerry." The great wyrm's expression was hard to read, but I had trouble not thinking of him as impatient, not after last time. "You have come to a decision?"

My heartbeat wanted to race, but Merry kept me grounded. I took a deep breath, not wanting to... be quite this blunt. "You," I said, and finally forged ahead, "...were trying to manipulate me and force me into a situation without thinking, without being able to consent."

"I was--"

It went against every instinct, and no part of who I was wanted to talk over Kalamitus--a God in his own Temple, at that--but I forced myself. "I cannot trust you," I said, aware that there was a slightly manic edge to my voice, and that he continued talking, although I could tell he heard me. "And therefore I would like to request that an arbiter be present."

I was a little surprised that he was surprised. I thought for sure he had been spying on me, somehow, within his own temple, and with me having the Cursed Truth Aura. But he shut up and pulled back slightly, confused. "You what?"

"I request that an arbiter be present." I felt a little emboldened by his surprise, at least. "A neutral third party. I... know of one, if you are capable of--"

"I know what an Arbiter is, and I'm more than capable of finding and politely requesting anyone you please." Kalamitus' long snake body rolled behind him, as though agitated. "...Under the circumstances, your request is reasonable. Who exactly do you wish--"

"Herman."

Kalamitus' voice cut off. "I'm not familiar with this Herman."

"He is a Fairy, and I was told that he was an arbiter--"

"Oh." The great dragon's neck straightened, and then veered off to the side, in what might have been a slightly frustrated full-head version of an eye-roll. "Very well then, I will requ--"

And then, to my somewhat sadistic delight, somehow, he was there.