So, I'm a witch, so what?

What had happened? I don't remember it well enough, yet judging by how I simply appeared before a new place I'd never seen, I think it was safe to assume I had died. My skin was green, and my parents looked like classic goblins from well-known stories.

Have I been isekaid? Perhaps. Yet, I still had no idea what killed me. I was simply taking the usual bike route to work when suddenly I felt a hard push from my sides, and that was it. I lost consciousness for a few seconds, and then I was here.

Did a car run me over? What killed me? I had no idea, but it sure was fast. Why I'm not freaked out is mainly because I still have a feeling I might just be in a coma somewhere, and I'm just in a dream right now, yet everything feels too real for me to take that at face value.

If I'm truly dead and I'm now a goblin, then my only wish is for someone to throw my computer into a bathtub filled with water. Please destroy my phones and my hard drives. Nobody can look at those. Please, whoever finds them, BREAK THEM! Destroy my GEAR!

I'm sure nobody knows I'm dead if that's true. My parent probably still have no idea. My friends? I was a shut-in from home to work from work to home. My boss is the only person who probably worries about my absence since I was his most productive employee.

I've got nothing about why I've reincarnated as a goblin. Personally, I've never been a goblin fan and don't remember having goblin-like behaviors or attitude. So why have I been reincarnated as a goblin? I don't know. My only clue is that I used to be an asshole in video game lobbies, but that's it.

Have I really been sent to another world as a representation of my internet personality? What kind of god runs this place if so? Someone who clearly is here for vendetta against specific individuals, that's for sure. It's not out of the question to think they might have actually been the ones that staged my death.

"Food eat you must," my goblin mother said as she tried to put more of that purple poison down my throat. That's right, I'm a little goblin, not a grown-up mature one, such a pain in the butt. The poison mentioned above is also disgusting! It tasted like piss and dirt!

Mama Goblin didn't have mercy on me, not even for being a brat. I was eventually forced to open my mouth wide to swallow more of that disgusting slurry of poison that tasted worse than shit, don't ask how I know what shit tastes like. It's not important!

My body tweaked once it swallowed the poison, and my entire stomach turned into a living nightmare. The explosiveness of it reminded me of Baco Bell's food. Yet, at least Baco Bell was somewhat tasty. This slurry was just disgusting! Please, oh god, all mighty, save me!

[Proficiency has reached the required level - acquired skill: "Poison resistance level 1."]

Uh? So the slurry really was poison. I had only been partially joking, but now that this voice says it, I... wait a minute. I've got a system voice? How do I summon you? Divine voice! [Temporary name] Hello? Konochiwa? Hola? Hablas Espanol? Parla portuges?

Well, the system voice of this world just sucked. it didn't understand English. How was I supposed to use it? Alright, calm down. It's not the end of the world. At least I can access some system that confirms the whole "I've been isekaid" argument.

I'm growing excited by the second; just think about it! I've been reincarnated and sent into a fantasy land where I can meet countless cute waifus and form my harem! Oh yes, please praise me! I'm the greatest! I can already see the fame lurking nearby.

There's just one problem with my plans, though. I'm a mother-ducking goblin! Why have I become one of the ugliest, most disgusting creatures to have walked the Earth?! Can I evolve out of this?! I better be able to leave this hideous class behind for all that's holy.

I promise I'll be a good boy from now on! {Sigh} At least I'm being cared for and have a good family, even if my mother's cooking is dreadful. I swear she always goes to cook some of the most disgusting things ever on purpose. Perhaps she is trying to get rid of me. LoL

"You how you doing been?" My father asks me in its garbled English way. Were both of my parents stupid or what?

"I've been doing fine. When will I be allowed to hunt with you, Father?" My father just looks at me and laughs at my question while I force myself to eat the poison down.

"Hunting not ready you are. Mother teach you needs to." Oh my goodness, I can barely understand a word of whatever comes from this guy's mouth. Can I get a redo? Maybe reincarnate me somewhere else where they can speak my language? Japanese would be excellent.

"Can I at least help you butcher the prey? I want to become like you, Dad!" My father didn't even answer with words. He just nudged my head and nodded in agreement. Ugh, another poison spoon down the hatch!

[Proficiency has reached the required level - Skill: "Poison resistance." Has increased from level one to level two.]

I wish I had never known that information. Thank you very much. At least this food is serving an extraordinary purpose. I'm at least gaining a possibly valuable skill with each spoonful, but man, is it dreadful. I wish there was a better way to introduce me to a world system, even if it's cool to have one.

Now I wonder what my power is. Every Isekai protagonist always comes with some super-overpowered ability, right? I'm one of those reincarnations, right? Now please tell me, divine voice! What is my power!? {Silence, Silence, Silence.}

I expected more from your divine voice; you've let me down. In all seriousness, how do I summon it? I doubt these stupid parents know how to summon it since they only say things like, "Divine voice, I heard!" They're actually the ones from which I copied its name.

"The divine voice" sounds like a cheap name if you ask me.