Slime Sweets and Dungeon Treats - A Cozy LitRPG

My morning was off to a rough start so far. I'd not only woken up in a dungeon and chosen a grilled cheese for my weapon, but I was somehow expected to fight with it too. Against literal monsters.

This new world was so not my cup of tea.

"Look," Dave said softly, "I understand that you don't want to fight, but once you're inside the dungeon, that will change. You need to be prepared and realize that a sandwich won't help you."

"I know that," I said, staring at the perfectly golden-brown bread in my hands, "but there has to be another way for me to get home. I refuse to fight monsters for no real reason. That's ridiculous."

The fence keeping the round bouncy monster locked up suddenly disappeared, as if Dave was trying to force me into action. I'd have backed away, but something deep inside me knew that I shouldn't enter the fog surrounding the clearing.

So that only left one thing: defeat that monster. With a grilled cheese.

I scratched my head, eying the monster bouncing toward me. It reminded me of colorful pudding or blue jello as it hopped closer, body jiggling. It was honestly kind of cute, if I ignored the whole monster thing. Its eyes were a deeper blue than its body, shimmering like sapphires as it blinked curiously at me.

"Hey there," I said quietly as I knelt down, holding my hand out to it. "Are you hungry?"

"What?" Dave shook his head, his expression pained. "No, you can't feed the monsters."

"Why not?" I asked as the cute bouncy thing came closer. If I treated it like a puppy, maybe I could get through this with some sanity intact.

I ripped off the corner of the sandwich, melty cheese pulling away from it in a long string, and tossed it toward the monster. Its mouth opened wide as it gobbled the gooey cheese up, making an adorable glomp noise. Then it chittered gleefully and bounced faster.

"You liked that, huh?" I smiled, ripping off another piece for it. "Have some more."

Soon the creature was in my arms, crooning as I fed it by hand. Some monster it turned out to be. I wanted to mock Dave about that, but he looked like his head might explode as he paced the clearing, muttering to himself.

I dared to pet the creature, feeling its squishy body mold against my hand. Its skin was smooth and elastic, reminding me of bread dough. It leaned into my hand as its eyes changed to adorable greater than less than signs, making a squee noise like it was the happiest little jellybean ever.

My heart warmed as the little creature melted some of my worries away. Focusing on things I could do, like feed this hungry little monster, eased my mind far more than focusing on all the things I couldn't do. Like remembering my past or going home apparently. I swallowed hard, determined not to let any feelings of helplessness overtake me.

For right now, I just needed to focus on what I could do. Defeat this monster without hurting it, because that was the only hope I'd have of making it through the dungeon. The phrase monster tamer came to mind, so maybe something like that would work. I could feed them, befriend them, and form a bond.

Forming that bond might be easier if the monster had a name.

"What should I call you?" I asked the little blue creature. "Jellybean?"

It wiggled up and down, almost like it was nodding. Apparently it liked the name.

Another one of those weird message boxes popped up, looking like they were created by some kind of computer system.

[Slime defeated in a new and unique way. Congratulations. Reward: Starter gear]

I couldn't believe that worked, but I was so happy it did! This gave me a way to go through the dungeon without doing anything I'd regret. As long as it worked on other monsters too, I'd be set.

"So you're a slime, huh?" I whispered to the monster in my arms. "That's nice."

Pots and pans rained down from the sky along with bread and cheese. I ducked before seeing what else was there. Getting hit on the head was the last thing I needed right now, but all I heard was a soft chime instead of the clank of pots and pans. I dared to look up, gazing at a clear blue sky without any cooking equipment falling from it.

Where did it all go?

"No, she can't get pots and pans," Dave moaned. "She's supposed to get travel gear and potions! What kind of starter gear is that?"

He waved his hands in the air, frantically swiping through menus I couldn't see. When he paused, his face grew pale.

"She's a culinary mage?" He glared at the campfire as if it would have answers. "A culinary mage??"

[New Class: Culinary Mage]

[New Skills Available]

Whatever that was was apparently too much for the poor satyr because he collapsed on the ground beside me, muttering nonsense about how chefs didn't belong in the dungeon and culinary magic didn't even exist.

I felt a little bit bad for him, especially since I'd stolen his lunch too, so I handed him what was left of it. "Maybe you should eat something."

He nodded, gulping the sandwich down. Once it was gone, another sandwich appeared in my hand with the same original bite taken out of it.

"What the hell?" I asked, accidentally dropping it in shock. The slime gobbled it up heartily before another sandwich appeared in my hand.

That was so not normal. I guess I really was in another world...

"You'll always have access to your basic weapon," Dave said, his voice a bit calmer after the food. "If you lose other weapons, they won't come back though."

Okay, so this grilled cheese and I were stuck together then. I should probably at least taste it for myself to see what I was working with, right?

I took a small bite and immediately spit it out. "Ugh, that's awful. It tastes like cardboard."

"What's cardboard?" Dave asked.

"It's...," I paused, unable to picture it. "How do I know a word but not know what it means?"

That was very unsettling, probably the most unsettling thing that had happened since I'd gotten here. Not only did I not remember my own life, but the things I did remember were fading away too, like smoke dissipating in the air.

Dave patted me on the shoulder. "It happens to every newcomer. Memories are hard to hold onto in the dungeon."

I didn't like that feeling, like my mind was empty when it used to be full. I knew the basics, sure, but the meaning behind what I was saying was lost to me. Would that keep happening even with new memories I made? Was I doomed to be a blank slate?

The slime pressed against my hand, as if trying to comfort me. I took a deep breath, reminding myself to focus on what I could do: feed the slime, level up, and get the hell out of here.

"I'm sorry I fed you such terrible food," I said, patting its head. "I'll make something better for you, I promise."

Its eyes lit up and it made a chittering noise, bouncing up and down in my lap. I couldn't help but smile at its excitement.

More message boxes appeared in the air.

[Title Granted: Slime Friend]

[It's the very first title of its kind. You keep getting more and more interesting, Hazel]

Hazel. Seeing my name, so solid and real on that message box, made me happy. That was one thing I could feel sure of, but did those message boxes seem...chattier than before? Almost like somebody was talking to me.

"Slime friend? Slime friend??" Dave shook his head, groaning loudly. "That's it. I'm done. You're not normal."

[New Skills Available]

I had a feeling asking about those skills might push the poor satyr over the edge, so I'd figure that out later. Right now I had to focus on the slime. Focus on the slime. I repeated it over and over like a mantra to keep me grounded.

One thing at a time. If feeding monsters was the key to me getting out of here, then that's what I'd do.

"So, where do I get ingredients?" I asked, forcing a grin on my face.

"You can find food as you explore the dungeon," Dave said, "or you can buy ingredients at the town on the fifth floor. It's a safe zone where adventurers often stay until they're high enough level to delve deeper."

The fifth floor sounded like a long way away and there was no way I was eating that bland sandwich again, let alone feeding it to anyone else. I shifted the slime onto the ground so I could stand, wondering where all that bread and cheese had gone.

A grid appeared in front of me labeled [Item Box]. Tiny versions of not only the bread and cheese were inside, but the pots and pans too. Along with knives, spoons, spatulas, a portable stove, water, and a few other odds and ends. Everything I'd need to start cooking.

If I could get them out of this menu. Maybe if I touched one of the boxes, they'd appear like in a video game. I hovered over the bread, feeling a bit strange. This wasn't how life was supposed to work, but I had a feeling this item box was only the beginning. This world was full of new and strange things. I'd have to get used to them if I wanted to succeed.

I tapped the box and bread appeared in my hands like magic. I jumped back a bit, gasping as I touched the bread against the grid and it disappeared inside again.

"Oh, that is so cool," I said, grinning as I took the cheese in and out next. "I could get used to this item box."

"Great, glad you're having fun," Dave said. "Since you're a culinary mage, whatever that is, I should probably show you how to cook."

I shook my head. "I think that's something I already know how to do."

And I wanted to hold onto those few solid memories. Rolling pastry, kneading dough, drizzling chocolate, all of that felt natural to me. Easy, like something I'd done so many times it was ground into my mind.

If I really couldn't go back home without going through a dungeon, then I'd just have to make it work somehow. Who brought me here and why would have to wait, because it sure didn't seem like Dave would be giving me any real answers. It felt like he wanted to shoo me along and pretend like he'd never met me actually.

A faint glow pulled my attention to the mountain as the door opened. Inside that dungeon would be all sorts of ingredients I could cook with. Maybe I'd even remember more of my life if I kept doing familiar things.

I turned back to Dave. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Yes, but you can learn it as you go like everyone else. You need to be careful though," he said, worry tightening his voice. "Your class and title aren't normal. It's like the dungeon's been creating things on the fly ever since you stubbornly chose my lunch as your weapon. I'm not sure what'll happen to you now or where that will lead you."

Maybe I'd have been better off sticking with the magic books, but then I wouldn't have this cute new slime friend bouncing next to me. If I had to be here, then cooking my way through the dungeon felt like the right path.

So I'd go in there, find whatever ingredients were available, and make the most delicious baked goods I could. Somebody had to show the people here that real food didn't taste like cardboard and it might as well be me.

Then I'd beat all 100 floors and finally be free of this nightmare.

"You coming?" I asked the little blue slime as I moved toward the dungeon's entrance. "You can stay here if you want."

Jellybean chittered and followed me, bouncing into the dungeon without a care in the world.

If only I could be as carefree as that slime.