NOVEL FROG Ch. 7 Claws and Shadows
Ch. 7
“Claws and Shadows”
“Let me go.” I spat, but my voice was terrifyingly calm, even to me. They trained me well, and I was an excellent student. Trapped behind those walls, what else was there to do but study or stir up trouble, even if that said trouble was just me simply existing.
A tired body cannot be afraid, Devlyn would often say, her voice reflecting in my mind like a distant hymn as I push through exhaustion in our rigorous training sessions. I can almost see her, sweat-drenched and fierce, urging me to embrace the burn in my muscles, to turn fear into fuel.
But now, at this moment, my heart and lungs betray what I’m truly feeling, and he can fucking see — hear — all of it. The warmth of his hands against my frigid body makes me feel like I may detonate. Why am I so cold? What is happening? The chill sinks deeper, twisting with dread inside me. The opposite of the relentless persistence I once wielded with easy, carefree confidence.
The beast’s claws are tearing holes through my mental door, tearing jagged spaces that bleed in the blackness that lays behind the year-long closed door. I push back with every ounce of strength I possess, slamming down each mental block with a frantic intensity. The snarls reverberate through my mind, a chilling echo that seeps past the battered wooden planks of my defenses. Each scratch and scrape sends tremors through my psyche, amplifying my fear and urgency.
I can feel the walls of my control buckling under the relentless assault as if the very core of my being is on the brink of shattering. Outside my mind, the darkness inches closer as the vampire holds me in his grip, a suffocating presence that threatens to engulf me entirely. The suspense mounts as I struggle to hold the complexity of my mind, knowing that if I falter, everything I’ve fought to keep hidden will finally be unleashed.
Not now, come back later. Or better yet, never. I beg silently, my mind a whirlwind of fear and desperation. The dread is pushing down on my lungs, pressing the weight against my thoughts, an unstoppable tide of panic that threatens to pull me under.
Every part of me screams for reprieve, from the horror that is clawing at my mental door, at my stability. I clutch at the frayed edges of my resolve, asking for the beast to crumble and leave me in peace, but I know that will never happen. The anguish in my plea hits the boundaries of my skull, a hectic cry to keep the beast contained as terror gnaws at the very fabric of my sanity — of my mind. The thought of succumbing to the thing lurking just beyond my defenses is unbearable — a nightmare made of voices, screams, and fear — that I am desperate to keep at bay as I have done for so many years.
I cling to the hope that somehow, someway, the beast will relent and spare me from the brink of my mind collapsing to be lost forever. The weight of being examined pulls me out of the chaos stirring in my skull.
Shit. I curse, my voice barely audible against the rugged, abrasive screeches of claws scraping the wooden door that has shielded me for as long as I can remember.
I squirm in his grasp, and he smiles. His hold is firm, yet also unexpectedly gentle. I can feel his eyes penetrating, inspecting my face, my breath, my heart. He won’t let go, as if either he can’t or simply refuses to, the stubborn prick. My wings are pinned in his hand. A vibration hums through me, pure and primal. I slam against my mental door again, my teeth grinding together in frustration.
I can’t reach the satchel that is hanging by my side now — The vampire let it drop, leaving it caught on the corner of one joint in my wing. If I could only reach inside. Oh, Mother is going to be so pissed. Fucking good. Maybe, maybe not. I have not decided yet, mostly it depends on if I am about to be eaten or not.
I glare at the vampire fiercely, but my body shakes with a mixture of fear and anger. “Let me go, or you will fucking regret it.”
I weigh my options carefully. I could end this within seconds if I just shifted, or at least make it unpleasant, but it would be bloody — possibly deadly. I’m not sure if I can afford that risk. Shifting fully, or even into my beast form, in such an exposed area of the Endless Forest, specifically in front of a vampire who wields shadows, might draw even more unwanted attention. The beast is struggling to break free, and it is dangerously close to doing so, shifting isn’t a safe choice.
My mind races and my head spins. A bloodthirsty creature holds me in his grasp, surrounded by darkness he controls, and he’s even mentioned biting me. I need to stay calm, but it is so hard. The door in my mind is still pounding, strike after strike. I must remain focused. I need to consider all my options, even if it seems like there’s only one viable choice. I can’t shift now — not with the beast so close. However, I might be able to use my other powers. The ones that don’t risk burning me or sending me flying into another leaf pile or even to another island. Though that wouldn’t be so bad right now.
Shit. Concentration.
“Oh?” He says, drawing my unruly skull closer to his, the warmth from his skin a stark contrast to the chill that courses through me. “Intriguing little bat you are.”
His gaze holds mine with that intensity that unnerves me, like he is searching through me, and finding all the things I have buried so far that even I can’t find them. A chuckle escapes him, resonating in the depths of my mind, stirring echoes I can’t quite catch.
“You’re worried about your next move,” he continues, tilting his head with an almost teasing curiosity. “It’s written all over you. The fear, the dread — you can try to mask it, but I can see it.”
His voice weaves through my turmoil, almost tangible, sparking something deep within, an instinctive awareness that leaves me momentarily breathless.
“I have a feeling you’re not an ordinary bat or not a bat at all,” he muses, a knowing glimmer in his eyes.
His face is sharply defined, and I catch sight of a scar that traces along his jawline, a subtle reminder of something lost… The sight sends a flicker of warmth through me, and inexplicable tugging at my heart, as if I have traced that line before.
The scar feels familiar, like an old melody or tune that can’t quite remember, a fleeting sound of laughter moves through the edge of my memory. The wave flits through my mind, and I am caught between something profound and the fear that is slipping away.
In the tension hanging between us, I sense something, that pulls at the edge of my consciousness. He studies me, not the same as the wizards, now it feels almost protective, as there is more than either of us is letting on. A part of me instinctively yearns to learn, to figure out that connection, despite the unknown fear of what it might mean.
But just as quickly, the warmth of his hands clashes with the coldness in my veins, and I am reminded of the walls that have always confined me. I push the thoughts away, caught between the disarray of my present and the echo of a past I can’t remember, yet feel so deeply.
“You’re afraid of losing control, aren’t you?” He says, revealing his elongated fangs with a predatory grin. Cerulean eyes inspect me, their gaze is profound as his eyebrows knit together in concentration. His hickory- dark brown hair flows gently in the breeze.
“Let me go!” I yell, my voice dripping with a toxic fury that slices through the air, cutting at the edges of his darkness. For a fleeting instant, I see him flinch slightly, and his shadows seem to pull back, retreating closer to their master as my words pass by.
Even my words can be weapons, I realize, a bitter taste lingers in my mouth. I am reminded of how the sharpness of my voice can wound as deeply as any blade. I have spent so long learning to wield my powers, but the sting of my words feels just as potent, slicing through the veil of both our uncertainty.
“Vicious…” His cerulean eyes narrow. “Keeping a chaotic mind in check is difficult,” he says. But it’s the look he is giving me, that feels all too familiar.
That same analytical focus of a wizard examining a new discovery. I can sense my heart quicken, each beating with the same life as the shadows around us. I force myself to hold his gaze, but the weight of his attention pulls at something deep within me.
“Tell me, little bat,” he continues, a hint of amusement threading through his voice, “what will happen if I don’t let you and keep you right here — forever?”
His words hang in the air, a haunting echo that stirs something in my chest, a warmth that feels so distant. I almost reach for it, but the thought is immediately eclipsed by the sharp reminder of the wizards, who analyzed my every word and motion. I am not an experiment, I remind myself, fighting the urge to fidget under his scrutiny.
“Chaos has its own rhythm,” he muses, his tone shifting to something softer, almost conspiratorial. “I can sense it. You know what it feels like, don’t you?” His eyes hold mine, a glimmer of understanding flickering between us, but he masks it with a nonchalance that feels practiced.
The familiarity of his presence is disarming, yet I can’t shake the memory of hands examining, questions firing like arrows, each one an attempt to pin me down. I blink, forcing the unease aside, but the feeling of enjoyment — light and cheerful — teases at the edges of my mind, slipping away just as quickly as it comes.
Suddenly, the shadows around us thicken, wrapping around my wings with a warmth that flows tenderly down them, tracing the thin membrane that stretches across my shoulders. I feel the urge to recoil, but instead, I’m rigid, caught between flight and fight. I have found the creature that dared to challenge me.
Abruptly, I sense a change in him — something crackles in the air, like a distant thunderstorm, a moment of vulnerability beneath his calm exterior. There is a flicker of realization in his cerulean eyes, and for a heartbeat, the facade he wears slips.
Shit. And here I am, in a bat form, hurling venomous words, with a beast trying to escape my skull and powers that are becoming so unmanageable.
That is it. I could shift, as I have done countless times before, but the pounding in my head is deafening, making it nearly impossible to control the beast within, and my shifting a direct link to him, a power we share through a bond. But he is raw, animalistic, and feral. Distress signals are coursing through me, and they’ve only stirred the beast more. It was already restless from years of being contained and regulated. I understand the anger, but I can’t let it out.
I try to focus on the quiet corners of my mind, where other powers simmer beneath the surface. But with the restless beast, perhaps I could draw on my other powers — something more subtle, more taboo, more spoken in hushed voices, but equally dangerous.
As I wrestle with my turmoil, I feel the vampire’s hand twitch near my wings, his fingers lingering with an almost magnetic pull, a touch that sends a shiver down my spine. I can feel his curiosity wrapping around my thoughts like tendrils of darkness, but he holds back, as if afraid of what he might uncover. What is he sensing?
Meeting this vampire, who wields darkness like a pet, has set my inner beast into a frenzy. I can’t afford to take the risk of shifting alone with a raging beast in the Endless Forest, so far from the familiarity of the castle — from my friends. I need to rely on a different power, one I’ve only practiced within the castle walls, in one special room — a power that if anyone found out I had, could doom me forever, but death could do the same. Hopefully, this time will fare better than before during practices. Mother will be furious, but that is nothing new.
A memory, a dark echo from my past, whispers through the chaos of my mind. The day I accidentally used this power, and took a life in that dimly lit chamber, surrounded by the stern faces of wizards and Mother’s unwavering gaze. I had been nervous, trembling, my heart pounding as I reached for the power swirling within me, the way they had taught me to harness it. But, I was unprepared for what it could do.
The memory hits me like a jolt, I had reached out instinctively, driven by fear and desperation, as if my very existence depended on it. In an instant, I had drawn in the life force of another, a young man who had stood before me, his eyes wide with confusion and a flicker of trust. But that trust turned to terror when he realized what was happening.
The feeling of his spirit flowing into me had been intoxicating, overwhelming — and then, just like that, he was gone. A silence followed, heavy and suffocating, and all I could do was stare at the ink that appeared on my skin — a permanent mark of my killing, a testament to the bond forged in death. Tears swelled in my eyes as I watched Mother walk over to the man. Her finger gently touched his shoulder, and small raging jealous boils in my chest — but it quickly faded as the man began to move… Mother had the gift of life, and I had the gift of death…
“Have it your way,” I say, then bite down on the finger closest to me, watching — waiting for his reaction.
A thousand thoughts crash into my mind, swirling in a dizzying storm. I never wanted to kill. I don’t want to be a monster. But, I am tired — so tired of being trapped, and thrown to the side. My whole life, I have been shackled, to the whispers of the beast inside, the echos in the castle walls, and the control Mother held her like a noose. Always suppressing, always denying. But for what? To survive another day, to be trapped by another?
Like venom, I feel my power trickle through my core into his freshly punctured skin. This will be the first time I have done this to anyone outside of Mother’s protection, if I can even call it that. As blood moves in past my fangs, I realize this — this is the cost of taking control of my fate. I am going to live, truly live, it won’t come without blood.
But as my fangs sink deeper into his flesh, an unexpected flutter ignites in my stomach, a sensation similar to the thrill of a secret infatuation, or the weightlessness that follows a stolen smoorich. I can’t place it, but it feels strangely familiar, an echo from a past I can’t quite grasp.
Panic grips me, urging me to release him, and I jerk back, breathless, hoping it isn’t too late. But why? The vampire drops me, blinking as if I am a bat with the madness, but then a smile spreads across his face, his fangs gleaming in the darkness…
The vampire’s presence was a tempest within me — a tantalizing mix of terror and exhilaration. I both loath and crave the disarray he represents, a reflection of my own struggle to contain the beast inside. Maybe that is why I can’t bring myself to end him. There is something deeper. It wasn’t just the fear of what I may become if I killed him. No, it is something else — something I can’t name. The though of his death stirred a primal sense of loss, a sharp, unbearable void that I can’t explain. Why do I care? I don’t even know him?
I flop to the ground after he lets me go, feeling every ache in my body with each passing breath. My life energy feels so drained. It needs time to come back, to be replenished.
Images flash in my mind, chaotic and fragmented — a room filled with wizards, their eyes wide with curiosity, and Mother’s cool touch on another’s skin, an ethereal glow pulsing between them. Confusion clouds my thoughts. Why do I have to take? Why do I have to hurt? Why do I have to kill? I looked between their expectant faces, tears spilling down my hot cheeks. I remember swaying, my vision blurring, the world tilting as I passed out. I shake my head to dispel the memory, but the weight of it clings to me.
I hope my power didn’t take too much from me... or him. My breath is shaky, and my heart beats slowly. I lick the slim trace of red liquid from my lips, the blood causing the beast inside to shake my mental door.
“Who’s a nice bite now?” I say with a heavy breath, each inhale a struggle.
Each heartbeat echoes the turmoil within me, the remnants of fear intertwining with the thrill of freedom. If I couldn’t rein in the beast now, I feared what may lie ahead — both for myself and the ones I left behind to protect.
The vampire looks back at me with a devious grin, and those fangs grab my attention as he speaks. “You know, I was curious about you when I smelt you.” A dark smile played on his lips. “There is something I can’t quite place,” he adds, leaning closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. “But I am figuring it out and can’t wait to sink my teeth into you. and uncover all your secrets soon enough.” He raises his finger and we both watch as blood drips down to the earth.
Doubtful, vampire man. Not before you tell me all your secrets if we survive this. That finger is definitely getting infected. I don’t even remember the last time I brushed my teeth. My voice echoes through my mind and the vampire smiles in my direction, his fangs white—shining. My fear is temporarily replaced with a grin on my own face.
As the vampire’s grin widens with my own, the surrounding shadows seem to pulse alive, hinting at secrets I am too unprepared to face. I can almost hear the beast within whispering its impatience, a reminder that this encounter was only the beginning.