Saints in a Chip

“Mind Alignment: Calibrating neural pathways… Progress: 100% complete.”

When Jude opened his eyes, he saw nothing but pitch black. He couldn’t even see his hands or feet. No sound could be heard, and the only thing he could think of was that he might be dead.

Then footsteps echoed softly in the void. “Good morning, Jude.”

He recognized the voice—he had heard it too many times before. “Barbara?”

A figure emerged from the darkness, a tall woman dressed in white like a nurse, her blonde hair tightly pulled into a bun. She smiled at him, the warmth of her expression cutting through the overwhelming darkness.

"It's me."

Barbara was the latest model of the Cognitive Artificial Intelligence Network, more commonly known as C.A.I.N. One of the most stable AIs in the market since 2190, she worked perfectly offline, able to collect daily information from her users to provide tailored analyses and support.

“Are you ready?” she asked, her tone bright but stoic.

“Ready?”

“We’ll need to prepare you before you step into the Phantom Zone.”

Suddenly, a swirl of icons appeared around him, displaying all sorts of items—gear, weapons, and gadgets—floating in the darkness like stars in a digital sky. Barbara walked around him, pointing at the selections as they materialized.

“All weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the course of the simulation. You’ll have a total of five slots that you may fill by choosing from all items available in the catalogue,” she explained, her voice smooth but still stoic.

Jude’s eyes widened as he surveyed the options. “As I understood it, weapons are not my priority in this mission,” he replied, trying to keep his focus. "I was not instructed to kill anyone."

“Correct,” Barbara confirmed, nodding. “Your primary objective is to gather intelligence from the participants of the Phantom Zone. However, the ability to defend yourself is crucial. You may encounter unforeseen challenges, and having options can be invaluable.”

He considered her words, glancing at the various items floating before him. There were weapons that glimmered with high-tech designs, tools that promised utility, and other gadgets that seemed almost whimsical. Still, he felt a strong urge to prioritize knowledge over firepower.

“What if I choose non-combat items?” Jude asked, curious about the flexibility of his options.

“Absolutely! You can customize your layout to fit your strategy. Items that enhance your abilities, provide information or aid in stealth will be just as important as weapons,” Barbara encouraged, her demeanour unchanged. "But once the slot is locked, there will be no possibility to modify, delete, restore or replace your choice. They will be perpetual."

Jude nodded, taking a moment to think. “Can I see the catalogue?” he asked.

With a wave of her hand, the swirling icons began to coalesce into a more structured display, revealing an extensive catalogue of items—scanners, communication devices, cloaking technology, and more. Each item was labelled and included descriptions and stats.

“Take your time to review your options,” Barbara said. “But please remember, once you’ve made your selections, they will be final.”

Jude suddenly realized that Barbara knew the details of his mission, if not more. “Any advice?” he asked.

Barbara stopped her pacing, an empty, thoughtful expression crossing her face. “Yes.” With a flick of her wrist, all the icons on display disappeared, replaced by a single icon—a chip with lines extending outward, one pointing forward, one upward, and one downward.

“What is it?” Jude asked, intrigued.

“UTD, Universal Translation Device,” Barbara explained, her tone matter-of-fact. “Ninety-nine per cent of the participants use one.”

“Why?”

“As per the UGS official reports from 2198, the Earth has a total of 3,846 known languages,” she explained. “The participants of the Phantom Zone are made up of Watchers from all over the globe. The UTD grants perfect communication between all participants, allowing for seamless interaction regardless of language barriers.”

“So, if I take this device, I can speak with anyone without worrying about misunderstandings?”

“Exactly,” Barbara confirmed.

“Even with Eidolons?”

“I would need to analyse the data to provide a proper answer. It might take some time,” she said, and she ready herself by making a long pause to initiate research, but Jude interrupted her.

“Okay, okay, I’ll take the UTD.”

"UTD locked to slot number 1."

“Next... I’ll need perhaps a weapon. Something small, something I can hide,” Jude said, trailing off.

“May I recommend a Glock 43 or a Smith & Wesson M&P Shield?” Barbara suggested.

“I’d be depending on ammo... and I don’t want the risk of running out,” Jude replied, shaking his head. “Could you recommend something else?”

Barbara paused for a moment, her eyes scanning the available options before brightening. “May I recommend a Ka-Bar? Specifically, the USMC Fighting Knife. It’s discreet, doesn’t look like a weapon at first glance, and it can be used for various utility tasks.”

“Lock it!”

“Ka-Bar locked in slot 2,” she confirmed, and the icon appeared next to his chosen item.

“What would be your next choice?” Barbara asked as she looked at the three empty slots on Jude’s display.

“Is there any sort of cheat?” Jude asked, half-joking.

“No cheat is available at this moment,” she replied, her expression serious. "Cheats are only available for homemade simulations."

Jude chuckled, a grin spreading across his face as he recalled how his homemade pod was completely modded, thanks to Barbara’s help.

“I have three slots available. What would you recommend?”

“Perhaps some enhancers,” Barbara suggested, and with a flick of her wrist, a new circular row of cryptic icons appeared before him, each representing various enhancements.

“If I may suggest, you might want to consider an AI Guidance Module,” she continued, pointing to one of the icons glowed with a subtle light.

“Which type?”

“A C.A.I.N.,” Barbara answered, stoically. " To be more precise, a Barbara C.A.I.N. model."

Jude smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you trying to come with me, Barbara? You know I'm married, right?”

Barbara ignored the comment and proceeded: “I’m simply suggesting the best AI model available,” she replied, forcing a playful smile. "Your C.A.I.N. will provide real-time data analysis, strategic recommendations, and situational awareness,” she explained. "It can also assist with navigation and communication.”

“Sounds like a game-changer, fine, lock it to slot 3,” Jude said.

“Slot 3 locked,” she confirmed, and the icon for the C.A.I.N. solidified in his selection.

“What else could I use?” Jude pondered aloud. “I’m just there to gather intel... recording seems useless, as I guess they’ll be able to record everything through my chip.”

“May I—” Barbara began, but Jude interrupted her.

“I see you’re like Marta, choosing my clothing, choosing my meals, choosing even my shampoo,” he said humorously.

“I will take that as a compliment,” Barbara replied, her expression stoic. “I would invest in Expanded Vision Skills. If you’re going to spy, it’s better if no one notices.”

“Lock slot 4,” Jude instructed, recognizing she was right.

“Slot 4 locked,” Barbara confirmed, the icon for Expanded Vision Skills appearing alongside his other selections. “A last slot is available.”

Jude took a moment to consider his options. He needed something that would complement his existing tools, something that could provide him an edge in the field. “What about a stealth enhancer? Something to help me blend in?”

Barbara shook her head thoughtfully. “If I may?”

Jude smirked, “Tell me, so far, you did a good job.”

“Augmentation Experience Boost.”

“Why would I need that? It’s not a game...” Jude’s mind raced, but then he had the sudden realization that it could be anything.

“Maybe, but most cells are locked by level,” Barbara explained.

“The fuck... is this really a game?”

“I would need to analyse the data to provide a proper answer,” she said, and she was ready to make a long pause and initiate her research.

Jude slumped his shoulders, defeated. If this was structured like a game, it changed everything about how he would navigate the Phantom Zone. “Never mind, lock the slot,” he said, finally.

“Slot 5 locked. You have selected Universal Translator Device, Ka-Bar, the USMC Fighting Knife, AI Guidance Module: Barbara C.A.I.N., Expanded Vision, and finally, Augmentation Experience Boost. Are you satisfied with your choices?” Barbara asked.

“Yes.”

“Skills set completed.”

Suddenly, the surroundings turned black again, and shortly after, an array of portable clothing racks appeared before him, each displaying various types of apparel. Jude blinked, trying to take in the assortment of outfits ranging from tactical gear to casual wear. He didn’t know much about what to choose from the vast selection.

“You’ll need an outfit,” Barbara prompted.

“Can’t I just use my uniform?” His uniform was what he was accustomed to, what was expected of him.

“Your uniform is unsuitable for the mission,” she explained patiently. “You’ll need attire that allows you to show neutrality. Think about the tasks you’ll face and choose accordingly.”

Jude surveyed the racks, his mind racing as he considered his options. He saw combat gear designed for agility, light tactical vests, and even casual clothing that looked comfortable yet functional. Each outfit seemed to have its own advantages, but he felt the pressure of making the right choice. He felt lost.

“What would you suggest?”

“No, I wouldn’t understand human fashion as it is linked by choice, taste, and mood,” Barbara replied, her voice matter-of-fact.

“I’m fucked. Usually, it’s Marta who chooses my outfit,” Jude said, frustration creeping into his tone. He picked up a Hawaiian shirt and held it up. “What about this?”

“Tacky,” she stated bluntly.

“So we have an opinion now?” Jude retorted, a grin breaking through his irritation.

“If I may suggest... perhaps if Mrs. James chooses your attire, why not select items based on her last choices?”

“Right,” Jude replied, thinking back. “It was a long-sleeve hoodie—dark blue, a t-shirt... I think—and a long green jacket. It had lots of pockets, and... jeans with sneakers. That’s it.”

“Excelente choice,” Barbara affirmed. “Let’s proceed with that selection.”

Without realizing it, Jude found himself dressed. The array of icons hanging in the air disappeared, and suddenly, he was enclosed in what looked like an empty warehouse. The concrete walls loomed around him, and the faint sound of dripping water echoed in the silence.

“Well, seems I’m ready,” he said, taking a moment to assess his surroundings.

“If I may,” Barbara interjected, walking slowly in his direction. She held out a sleek pair of sunglasses. “You might need this.”

Jude took the sunglasses, "Let's not let intrusive thoughts come out and play."

As he put the sunglasses on his face, the warehouse doors lifted, revealing a scorching midday sun burning over endless stretches of sand. The brightness was almost blinding, but the augmented visuals in the glasses adjusted seamlessly, allowing him to see clearly as he stepped outside.

Jude looked around, disoriented by the vast expanse of sand surrounding him. “Barbara, where am I?” he asked.

“You are located at F3 Cell,” came her calm response, though he noticed she was no longer physically beside him.

“Any idea where I should go from here?” he inquired, scanning the horizon for any landmarks.

“No, but I would advise you to run,” she said, stoic.

Before Jude could react, he turned to look over his shoulder and felt a surge of adrenaline course through him. A horde of black hounds, their bodies cloaked in dark scales and emanating thick black smoke, charged toward him with terrifying speed from the horizon.

Panic ignited within him, and instinct kicked in.

“Run!” Barbara shouted.

Jude pivoted on his heels and sprinted away from the approaching threat. The sand shifted beneath his feet, each stride feeling like a battle against the elements as he raced across the dunes.

“Follow the markers!”

"What markers?"

The hounds were relentless, closer, their growls reverberating as they closed in on him. Jude’s heart raced, fear fueling his legs as he dodged and weaved, desperate to escape their grasp.

“Find shelter! Look for higher ground!” Barbara instructed, and Jude spotted a rocky outcrop in the distance, a glimmer of hope amid the chaos.

He veered toward it, digging deep to maintain his speed as the sound of the hounds grew louder behind him.

Jude reached the rocky outcrop, his breath coming in quick gasps as he scrambled up the side, seeking refuge from the oncoming horde. As he reached the top, he glanced back to see the hounds skidding to a halt, their eyes glowing with hunger, but they couldn’t pursue him any further.

“Now what?”

"May I suggest you start praying?"