No Need for a Core?

Kazue knocked on the door to her mother’s room with a strange set of mixed emotions that she couldn’t have named at that moment. Then Akahana opened the door and pulled her daughter into an embrace. All of Kazue’s initial thoughts about how to start the conversation fled, and she shortly found herself practically curled into her mother’s lap as she cried.

Kazue hadn’t been pulled away from her home and magically transformed. She’d died. And while she couldn’t remember most of it, what she could remember was unpleasant and painful. She’d never really dealt with it, but now she was alone with her mother and that dam finally broke. Casey even got up from her nest near the bed and did the best she could to cuddle with them, though her avian body was not well shaped for this room. But being ‘trapped’ between fur and feather was nice to feel again.

It took several minutes for Kazue to pull herself together and clean her face of tears. “I’m sorry Mom, the whole thing with me having, well, drowned, it hit me hard right then.” She sniffed. “I’ve missed you a lot. And my first week as a dungeon, I didn’t have Mordecai and Moriko, so I was really lonely. And the Lady had promised me I’d find peace here, but it was so hard at first.”

“It’s alright my darling. Oh sweet little Kazue, momma’s here, and it’s alright.” Kazue allowed herself to wallow in being her mother’s little girl again for a few more minutes, then sighed and slowly withdrew, pulling herself off of the small couch they’d ended up on and moving toward a chair where she could sit facing her mother and have a proper conversation.

Then before she could sit Kazue had a bit of her dignity ripped away, suddenly flailing with a yelp and falling partway to the ground, catching herself on the chair as she gasped. “Don’t do that!” She practically yelled in her head, and got giggles and a not-entirely-sincere apology in return. Oh, that woman was earning herself a special punishment later.

“Kazue?!” Akahana had jumped up and rushed over to help, but Kazue waved her mom off as she gathered herself back up and sat in the chair with a bit less elegance than she’d planned.

“It’s alright Mom, my wife was just being badly behaved.” Kazue grumbled and shot a glare in the general direction of Moriko. “It caught me off guard. At least it caught Mordecai off guard too.” It would have been somehow worse if he’d weathered that with no reaction.

“Um? Okay…” Akahana didn’t know how to process that immediately but sat back down in her seat. “Well, I guess that sort of brings up what I wanted to first ask about. I don’t really want to pry, but a mother worries, and while I may not always act it I am an elder druid. I also am aware that you were, um, inexperienced. And your marriage didn’t exactly start as something romantic, though your letter is lacking in some details there. So I feel I have to ask, is there anything I should know?”

Well. Wasn’t that a hell of a question. But it also made sense, especially since her mother didn’t know as much as Aia did. “Um, there’s nothing like that. They were patient, wait, no that’s not quite right. They were content to wait on my schedule. That’s better than patience, do you see what I mean?”

Akahana nodded, if a bit hesitantly. “I think so love. So, ah, things went well I take it?”

This was a painfully awkward conversation to be having with one’s mother, but at least it wasn’t her dad. That would be so much worse. “Yeah, hehe, they were even ‘mean’ in a very nice way.” Kazue grinned at the memory. “They made me ask. I think we’d have been fine anyway, but yeah, it was probably the right idea, to make me choose when.” And where, and a bit of how. But there was no way she was getting into that.

“I, see? Oh! I see!” Akahana had taken a moment to work through the indirect phrasing, but she relaxed with relief and giggled a bit. “Okay, I can see how that’s sort of mean, but yeah, that’s a good way to do it. I mean, you aren’t exactly a kid, but your letter did say Moriko was 36. And Mordecai is, well, a lot older than that. So I was worried. But now we can drop the subject. I just had to be sure, you know?”

Kazue nodded and was just as happy to move on. “So, well.” Crap, she’d had a couple of approaches in mind but they’d all disappeared. The hell with it. “So at lunch, Mordecai gave me a cup of tea. Only it was a really, really strong and concentrated tea. It wasn’t exactly instant, but my head started feeling clear without any effort to make it feel clear.” There, that handed the conversation over. Kazue wanted to see what her mom had already figured out, because Kazue had started developing her suspicions earlier today.

“Oh. Wait, could I – no, I suppose not, I’m guessing that sort of concentration would be hard to do without the right sort of magic.” Akahana shook her head. “Well, I guess that verifies things. I wish I had noticed sooner. But you weren’t acting like I did, so I thought you were fine. I guess I should go back to when I was a kid. My head gets like that too, but you were always so well-behaved, and when I was young it was getting into trouble that made me feel better. The riskier the better. It’s a good thing my talent for druidic magic came in early, because I liked to head out into the forest a lot without the adults. When I was fifteen I sort of ran away from home, I needed to find more excitement. And I did find that. I also learned another way to clear my head for a bit.”

Akahana took a breath, then let it out slowly. On her next breath, she inhaled more sharply and deeply as her fur bristled slightly. The toothy grin she gave Kazue was full of very sharp-looking teeth. “See, I had a temper when I was young. Whenever I was angry, all the extra noise went away. And even now, I know how to just reach out and choose to pull on that anger, let everything that has ever made me mad fill me.”

The kitsune closed her eyes as she took another deep breath, only to release this one slowly as she calmed down again. When she opened her eyes that dangerous look was gone. “It’s no berserker rage or battle fury or anything like that. It’s almost more of a trick on myself, a way to get that jolt of sudden thrill running through my blood again. And while it makes me feel better, being angry usually doesn’t lead to the best choices. And it’s kind of tiring to keep up for long.”

She rose to walk over to a table where she began rummaging through some bags. “I was off getting into trouble for quite a few years. Then there was this one night, the group I was with had already been up the entire day before and we had to stay alert to figure out what was stalking that village in the dark. And the newest member was this cute guy whom I suspected was trying to stay out of the cities because he’d gotten into other sorts of trouble.” She returned to her seat with a small roll of leather in her hands. “He said he had something to help us stay awake and keep us energized. Well, it didn’t make me slightly wound up like it did to everyone else, it was more like what you described with your tea.” She unrolled the little bit of leather to show several leaves carefully tucked into little pockets. “I wanted to get my hands on more of course, but he was reluctant to part with any he didn’t have to, or let me know his source.” Akahana smirked. “Did I mention he was really cute though?”

Kazue groaned and hid her face in her hands. “Please tell me that was Dad at least.”

“See, I knew I raised a smart girl! All that reading did you good!” Akahana paused, then said “Oh goddess, I am an idiot. Your books, they were all stories of adventure and other sorts of trouble. I got into trouble, you read about getting into trouble. That’s why it was so hard to pull you away from them. You were getting a bit of that thrill that way.”

That brought Kazue’s head up and made her think about it for a few seconds. “Yeah, I think that sounds right. Reading always made me feel better, no matter how messy everything else was. It was always just so easy, even when I was tired.”

Akahana sighed. “I’m sorry Kazue, I thought you were doing better than me. If I had realized, I would have had you try a leaf a few years ago. But anyway, yes, it was your father. Ricardo was 22, and I already had several tails so being nearly 40 didn’t really impact my looks. Seducing him wasn’t a romantic thing for me at the time, but getting to know him, well, there’s a reason I tolerate some of his foolishness even now.” Her smile was fond as she looked off into memory for a moment, then brought herself back to the present. “I did eventually find out his source, and got my hands on some seeds. Getting a couple of plants to grow while on the road was tricky, especially as the plants like a warmer climate, but I am a druid.”

She smiled slightly, then rolled the leaves in their leather container back up. “You haven’t seen them before because I grew them in the closed section with my other dangerous plants. And don’t get me wrong, while for me a leaf a day is therapeutic, they can be troublesome for most people. And if I am having a particularly long and troublesome day, I can chew on more than one, but if I don’t have at least six hours or so between them, it can kind of numb my head instead.” Akahana handed the roll towards Kazue. “I want you to take these, and when I get a chance I’ll come by with some live plants, and some of the other dangerous ones I didn’t bring on this trip.”

“Mom?” Kazue took the roll hesitantly, feeling nervous. Her mother was acting sort of strange. Akahana looked down at her lap and fiddled with her now empty hands.

“Dear, I settled down so I could raise you. From the time I knew I had a life inside of me until the day you were completely weaned I suffered through the cloudy head and the pain because I didn’t want to take any risks that it could affect you. Your father became a merchant because he can’t keep his feet in one place to save his life, but wanted to at least be safer so that he could be around for you.” She laughed softly at a thought. “And the precious man didn’t want to have me feel obligated to someone who wasn’t around all the time, the idiot has been running around pretending to have a girl in every city and has been an outrageous flirt all around. But more than a few of the people in his caravan are my friends too, so we’ve let him believe he was fooling me.”

“Mom. You are getting sidetracked.” Knowing that she was seeing her own habits in her mom now made it easier for Kazue to spot, which was not an entirely comfortable thing.

“Sorry. Anyway, I know you are safe and happy now. I can bring some precious things to you that won’t do well on the road, and find someone to take care of the garden for the clan instead of me. Then I want to go and travel with your dad. Losing you hurt a lot, and your dad is human. I only have so much time left to be with him, and if you are happy and safe, then my part as a mom is kind of over.” She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “It’s a bit selfish maybe, I could spend more time here to help you, but that would be selfish too. You have a new life, literally. So you should focus on that. We can change his route to swing by here easily enough, and probably make a profit too. Heh, I am going to have to thank your husband for stopping me earlier. A lot of these thoughts had been percolating for a while, but I needed this bit of extra time after seeing you in order to put them in order and make my decision. And besides, Aia would have yelled at me if I’d run off like that again. Having an emotional, crying druid running around asking all the spirits and nature guardians in the kingdom if they’d seen her man may have been a touch upsetting to several people. So I am going to do this the right way, get my stuff in order, then go off to find him like a normal person.”

Kazue was conflicted, but overall thought her mom was probably right. It was just her own selfish desire that made her want to see her dad sooner than that. “Well, I’ll still get to see both of you.” And for the first time, Kazue was thinking about how short a lifespan her dad had relative to them. She didn’t like the thought, but maybe there was something she could do about it? She’d have to ask Mordecai later. “And I guess that certainly clarifies things. Oh, and you should swing by Riverbridge. Moriko’s parents live there, it’d probably be good for you to meet them, but also they are alchemists and have a garden of their own, so you’d be able to talk shop too.”

The conversation drifted to more casual topics, and they stayed up a little later than was probably best for Akahana, but Kazue eventually laughed when her mom yawned yet again, and told her to get some sleep.

That left Kazue feeling a bit alone at first when she wandered towards their chambers, since Mordecai’s avatar was still meditating himself into dreamland while Moriko was doing her own meditation, then she realized she was forgetting herself. They were dungeons, and there was more than one part of them. “How goes your visit?” she sent to the part of his mind that was in their core.

Ozuran found Zelda and Tsukiko in a small clearing, the kitsune in her fox form, and curled up asleep in Zelda’s lap. He had to admit that was somewhat impressive in an amusing way, you had to love sleep a lot to be able to be asleep in your own dream.

Zelda was petting the multi-tailed fox gently, and spoke softly when she noticed Ozuran enter the clearing. “You do like the whole multi-level choices thing, don’t you? I think I have this one figured out.” Ozuran simply waited in silence, giving the girl a chance to collect her thoughts. “So, in addition to the choice you gave to us, there’s the obvious sub-choice to weigh, of leaving two friends to catch up versus our curiosity about these living dungeons. And then the choice she won’t admit to, of walking away during the time she normally gets to spend with you. And for me, well, similar. I didn’t get a good look, but I think I know who was making tea.” Zelda smiled a bit wanly. “My therapist said I did a good job there.” She tapped her head as she said that last part.

Ozuran nodded. “Correct. Though given her proclivities, I’m a little surprised the satyr guided you away from Lena. I suppose having a few kids helped settle her down a touch.”

Zelda nodded absentmindedly and Ozuran just waited in silence for a moment. The girl froze, then glared at him. “That was awful. You didn’t even really mean it, you just wanted the pun.” She sighed with all the over-dramatic energy a teenager could muster. “My god has been hanging out with the stupid kobold too much.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “You and your friends have certainly made my life interesting this past year. There’s been a lot of teaching to do, and I needed to do most of it myself. So yes, Drage may have had an influence.” Though Zelda’s situation was remarkable in her own right. The voice in her head was quite real and was helping the girl get over her troubles, and had absolutely nothing to do with Ozuran’s intervention. Still, he appreciated the help.

“Hmmph.” Zelda replied, then looked back down at the sleeping fox in her lap. “She’s awfully cute like this, isn’t she? So much more peaceful when she’s asleep.” She glanced up through her blue bangs. “Want to hold her?”

“No, I think not. While her reaction when she woke up would be entertaining, I don’t think that would be particularly good for her.” Ozuran replied with a hint of reprimand in his voice.

The girl sighed slightly. “I guess not. I don’t want to break the kid, even if she makes me want to strangle her on a daily basis.” Ozuran was amused at Zelda calling Tsukiko a kid, they were barely a year apart, but she was the more mature of them. Barely.

“Well, I don’t think anything productive will be done tonight, so I am going to bid you two goodnight, and let you drift off to your proper dreams. But you’ll be able to find your way here on your own in the future if you want to and I am not around.” The door he’d led them through hadn’t existed until he’d wanted it to, but he was opening up the ability to find a door here to them now. Mordecai already knew how to do it, but Ozuran hadn’t missed the relief in the man’s eyes when he saw that he was indeed welcome here still. That whole situation was messy, but getting better.