Kyle the Apprentice Warlock

10:55 AM September 13^th
Central Park, NY, Outside the National Museum of Unnatural Science and History

“What was that bit about doughnuts, though?  You don’t really think that they are the greatest food on Earth, do you?”  His incredulity was offensive to Kyle as they passed by the Magic Tree Grove and the golem that guarded it.  It was still passing out apples to passersby and that, as well as the question, made Kyle smile bigger.

“Doughnuts are the best food on Earth, and everyone knows it,” Kyle assured his friend with a swagger and all the bravado he could muster.

“No, they aren’t.”  The chef argued back.  And I’m pretty sure that there are many people who do not even like doughnuts.”

“Get stuff!”  Kyle cried out in mock rage.  “Everyone loves doughnuts, and if they don’t, they haven’t had the right doughnuts.  Because Enchantress Doughnuts are bewitchingly good.  Magic doughnuts, enchanted to be delicious.  You know that no one can dislike them once they’ve tasted them.”  As Kyle repeated both the slogan of his favorite doughnut chain and the urban myth behind them the chef shook his head in amusement.

“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”  He admonished.

“Nope.  Not illegal to make it taste better, only to make it addictive.”  Kyle assured his friend, replacing his wallet and frowning as he felt something else in his pocket.  Taking it out he saw that it was the unfinished apple from this morning, he picked a bit of lint off it and gave it another bite.

“Oh, man.”  His friend looked away in disgust.  “You are a bachelor.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  Kyle protested with a full mouth, spraying a few bits of apple flesh as he spoke.

“Old half-eaten apple and doughnuts for breakfast?”  He shook his head with disappointment this time.  “Nobody likes doughnuts.  It’s a fringe food.  That’s why I’m the only one who will go with you to get doughnuts on break.”

“You take that back.”  Affronted, Kyle paused in his walking and took a step back from his friend.  “Doughnuts are gifts from the Gods and no one else comes with me because they just don’t have enough self-awareness to understand that it's okay to indulge in your inner child and have doughnuts as an adult.  They have to wait for someone with a more highly developed pallet and magnanimity to bring doughnuts into the breakroom for them.  I just choose to have you come with me because I like you best and want to share the blessing with you directly.”

“Right,” Chef scoffed with a raise of his eyebrows.  “If doughnuts are so great, I bet you couldn’t even give one away to a stranger on the street let alone talk someone who wasn’t me into going to get one with you.” 

“I could get anyone to come buy doughnuts with me.”  Kyle exclaimed.  “Challenge accepted.”  Before the chef could blink, Kyle had strode off on a tangent and was approaching a woman pushing a stroller and wearing exercise clothing.  She took out her earbuds and Kyle began animated gesturing as he was talking to her.   Chef could not hear what he was saying but she shook her head, laughed, put her earbuds back in, and jogged off while Kyle was midsentence.

Undismayed, the apprentice warlock hurried up to the next closest person.  The chef checked the time on his watch and began strolling after him.  They had time.  And this would be amusing. 

Kyle was on his third person by the time the chef had caught up with him.  A balding middle-aged man, who still had more hair than not, was listening avidly to Kyles's lurid and graphic descriptions of the doughnuts at Enchantress doughnuts.  And Kyle was deftly luring him in the direction of the doughnut stand at a slow distracted amble.

“Even though they are plain glazed doughnuts, they are delectable.  The sight of the creamy glaze dripping down through the hole of a fresh warm doughnut.  Glistening with sweet sauce.  You’ve never tasted anything so light and creamy.  Sometimes I like to lick it off – ”

Kyle paused in his monolog as his robe jumped.  The man backed away from his startled.

“What the?”  he exclaimed “What is that?  Kyle’s robe jumped again, and he raised his arm as a plain leather notebook jumped out of it to float in the air before him.  He was backing away with distrust, but Kyle wasn’t paying attention to that anymore.  He’d noticed a sudden change in the ambient magical density, and it was not good.

“That’s not normal.”  The chef commented as he watched mesmerized over Kyle's shoulder.

“No.  It’s not.” Kyle agreed.  The notebook was his warlock pact item, a gift from his patron to channel the power it shared with him.  As he watched, it opened itself to a page and letters began writing themselves into existence.

His patron, the Archivist, was an intellectual.  As a collector of knowledge, the Archivist’s pact item had been a book from which Kyle could access any knowledge that the Archivist had collected, and which Kyle would use to transfer new knowledge to his patron.  It didn’t generally move around on its own like that.  It wasn’t that kind of item.

Kyle carried it around in a concealed magic book holster under his robe to keep it close and prevent it from being stolen or lost.  Or to avoid not having it when he might need it.  There were any number of reasons, really, for going through the trouble of getting a concealed carry license for a magical tome. 

It wasn’t a security book.  He wasn’t being weird, Samantha.  It was practical.  But now his pact item was doing something he’d never seen it do but was aware was possible, it was warning its holder of danger to his life.  His look of concern grew with each letter that appeared in bold text at the bottom of the open page.

Ambient magic density has reached dangerous levels.

“Holy shit.”  The chef breathed in disbelief.  He glanced around at the perfect weather, the blue skies dotted with occasional light puffy clouds.  There were people playing throughout the expansive manicured lawns of the park without concern.  “It can’t be right.  Look at…” He struggled for the words and gestured helplessly around, “…everything.”

“Magical density doesn’t have to affect the weather,” Kyle murmured quietly as he grabbed the book hesitantly and closed it.  “Check the danger level indicator on your ID badge.”  Kyle was reaching for his badge with one hand as he was returning his book to the holster with the other. 

“Yeah.  Of course.”  The chef replied, remembering that bit of trivia.  Only the employees who actively worked with the artifacts usually had to worry about magic levels.  Dangerous artifacts were contained and stored.  But all museum employees had an ambient magic density indicator on their badges, just like people who worked around radiation had radiation indicators on their badges.

“It’s purple,” he whispered to Kyle.

“Mine too,” Kyle replied quietly.

“Were we exposed in the museum?  Or is it out here?”  That was the question, wasn’t it?  If it was out here, they should get to the museum and take as many people as possible.  If it was something inside the museum, they should get as far away from it as possible.

“I don’t know.”  Uncertainty had him waffling between the two choices.  Run, or go back.  Then he realized something.  “Wait.  None of the indicators in the park have gone off.  It must be inside.  Come on.”  Kyle gestured for his friend to follow him, and they began trekking across the lawn of Central Park to get as far away from the museum as possible.  “Call the boss and tell him we got the notification.  They’ll start evacuating any second now.”

Then every security golem in and around the park activated at once.  Statues hopped off of pedestals, splashed out of fountains, or stood from their repose to join the dedicated security golems that lined the periphery of Central Park.  They began the trek to form a protective ring completely encircling the perimeter of the park, feet stomping in time with military precision. 

A few seconds later the magical streetlamps in the park turned on and flared purple.  Prometheus ambient magic density indicator flares placed regularly throughout the park blazed into life with a flickering purple flash.  Kyle knew they were color-coded to indicate the level of magical danger.  Purple meant that the ambient magic level was high enough to generate monsters from inanimate objects as well as mutate non-magical animals into monsters.

From the museum, the external and internal alarms began sounding and a speaker broadcasting an automated voice began a prerecorded message.

“Warning.  Ambient magic density has reached dangerous levels.  Monster formation is imminent.  Seek shelter immediately.  The Museum is a safe zone and possesses a magical insulation barrier.  If you cannot evacuate the vicinity, you may seek shelter within.”

Kyle and his friend looked at one another briefly, then began running back the way they had come to the shelter of their workplace.