Isekai Speedrun

Crys, Kimono and the twins had their revenge against Suleiman.

Rain and Mirim had their revenge against Caliph Tze.

The two great demon lords were eliminated and the world was saved. The two main missions of the Revolution Movement were done.

Now I’m limiting my mana and collecting magics. Yay.

But speaking of tyrannicides, after assassinating their divinely sanctioned autocratic demigods, we expected and prepared for a massive backlash from both Caliph’s imperial cult followers and Suleiman’s fanatics, but the flood of crusaders and assassins never really came. It was more like trickle of inept contract killers and low-level boss encounters every now and then. I guess that’s how it goes when revolutionaries drive around in armored mining vehicles and use automatic weapons, while corrupted governors try to catch us with knight and flintlocks.

On top of enemy inaction and incompetence, all the preventative measures and future-proofed backup plans I had created with Crys had mostly worked.

Crys was basically acting like a field marshal of the revolutionary army group that consisted of several large street gangs (some of which were still competing with each other), multiple mercenary troops (the kind that was ready to eat their own mothers for the right price), and miscellaneous secret operatives on both continents.

I joked that he should carry a swagger stick and wear a beret with a bluebird ornament to keep it real (spoiler: he didn’t).

I didn’t have any real-world military experience, so advising Crys on these matters was just an afterthought, but to appear more competent than I were, I talked about the so-called POOP SEME PISS principle: Plan equals an Objective with Offensive Power coupled with Surprise Element while Maneuvering Economically and taking care of your Personnel, Intelligence, Supply and Security.

I remembered this crass mnemonic from an old operational-level wargame I used to play. Sorry.

Also: the True Tao of War is to subdue enemy without fighting and you should have three-to-one superiority. Basic rules of thumb.

I’m not sure how much Crys agreed with these rules of war, but he did agree that we must maintain air supremacy with dirigibles and create parachutes to start training paratroopers.

I also had my ongoing personal war: War Against Illiteracy. I wanted all street kids to learn how to read and write. Writing, reading, and basic mathematics were currently the minimum requirements to join the Revolution Movement. Learn the ABC’s and 123’s, and you can become one of the rebellies.

Anyway, since most mid-boss enemies in southern territories were busy dealing with the long tail of the fallout from Caliph Tze’s death – reignited civil wars, coup d’états, power-hungry High Hats, and so on – they didn’t have the time or resources to confront the half-mythical dragon living in the northern moorlands.

In short, we had time to take it easy after a long speedrun. Time to think and reflect. Time to take detours and re-prioritize.

Translation: we did a whole bunch of easy side quests and optional high-reward missions.

The mini-campaign to get the best gear for everyone was basically done. Mirim got her Torch Gun from Pier City, but since she was still in human form, she was too weak to lift it and carry it. She kept the Torch Gun in a box at Checkpoint area and used her vampire rifle as before.

Kimono got her special weapons called Sliding Daggers from Spial Ys. In the game, you had to complete a long side mission to release an old weaponsmith from Spial Ys Pain Prison to get the daggers, but we just hired a bunch of mercenary pirates, gave them a map of the tunnels under the prison and sent them on a week-long mission to get daggers, along with other less useful stuff.

Crys obtained large number of Bergmann-style semi-autos and heavy-hitting Thompson/Center Contender type pistols from northwestern Mu. These were just small upgrades or additions to our already high-level Caliphate revolver arsenal, but any little edge over enemy was an edge.

Many of these firearms were later given as rewards to skilled, loyal members.

The campaign to collect Strangers artifacts was still ongoing. Both T-Sub and me were collectors at heart – we wanted full sets of those shadowless, mirrored ultra-rare Strangers artifacts in mint condition or near mint condition safely into our compartmentalized, temperature-controlled storage unit called Starfish Mansion.

Since Caliph Tze was the most prominent hoarder of Strangers’ rarities (before us), most of the items we wanted were at Reignland, in Sun City, in the Sun Palace, in the White Palace sub-area.

But Sun Palace was the place where our main characters lost their final battle in the original story, so getting there was a plan still in a phase; if we want a full collection of Strangers artifacts, we need some serious prep before we open that dangerous window of opportunity.

In other words, we’re currently just licking vanilla ice-cream from the surface and leaving the tasty chocolate core for the last.

Deal with small things in the peripheries and let the big enemies simmer in their own desperate power struggle hotpots. Keep them on their toes and poke their soles with pins by dropping random firebombs from the clouds. Fascists deserve to live in constant fear and discomfort.

Crys’ spy network collected info about the ongoing strife in Reignland and delivered regular reports. The local mid-bosses and their minions were practically holding the Reignland territories like a military junta. Tze’s followers kept following his long-term world domination visions, strategies, and universal slavery plans. The head of the monster was gone, but the body kept thrashing around.

The one sitting on the Sun Palace throne now was a hand puppet called Caliph Xil – a weak nobody, a ruler in name only; a random slave chained to the throne, forced to wear the mask and crown, forced to regurgitate the words of the mid-bosses whispering behind the curtains.

When it was first announced that potentate Xil would ascend to the throne of Reignland, I was confused since I didn’t remember any character named Xil from the game or anime. But our spies soon confirmed that he really was just a random poster boy scouted from the backstreets and 100% exploited by handlers.

Speaking of random bodies, let’s flashback to Rukhkh Fortress a bit.

The massive fortress inside Rukhkh Mountain cave dungeon was too secure for direct attack even after Caliph Tze’s death, so we opted for casual siege warfare. We blocked the Wineep’s railway-adjacent sub-route (which the High Hats started to use after we destroyed the railway) and then we cut down all other supply lines, dropped dynamite to block half of the main cave entrance, created a perimeter of traps around the mountain... and basically left everyone at the fortress to starve.

They were able to get some water and food from the underground dungeon lake, but it was not enough for everyone in the fortress, and definitely not enough to hold the fortress for years without outside support.

To hasten the process of starvation, Crys kept doing mischievous pranks. For example, he allowed some independent food smugglers from the east inside the perimeter, but poisoned the food packets they carried, which then made the troops wary of all smuggled food that didn’t come from the west through their own lines. And when some less fanatical soldiers decided to desert the fortress, Crys gave them a corridor they could use to run toward east only, far from the sphere of influence of the Caliphate and straight into the hungry mouths of deviant tribes at northern No-Lands of Ur.

When the blizzards of deep winter closed in again, Rukhkh Fortress was like an abandoned construction site slowly turning back into a wild dungeon it was before. The few High Hats and warmasters who were still trying to keep their robes clean sent a messenger to negotiate with us. Their offer was very generous: all core crystal warehouses and krúricks in exchange for a safe corridor to Reignland.

Crys sent the willowy messenger back to Rukhkh in seven pieces, of course.

Rukhkh Fortress died a slow death and all the spice became ours. Another main story location we didn’t have to worry about anymore.

The massive amount of black core crystals from Rukhkh Fortress warehouses and Wineep mine practically turned Revolution Movement into this world’s Saudi Arabia of dark natural resources that make vehicles go –

– no, disregard that comparison, we can do better than a country with rampant human rights violations: Revolution Movement became this world’s Norway with Core Crystal Pension Fund.

And while we were patiently waiting Rukhkh Fortress’ eventual demise, our overpowered MC group dug deep into the camps of weak bosses and enemy mobs on both continents with tactical firebombings. We targeted mini-bosses enjoying their false sense of security with long-range sniping and raided their secret bases like taking a walk in a park.

Last year I convinced Rainwoman to step out of the Starfish Mansion and leave Sorry Man under Mirim’s care for a while. Rain basically railroaded through a list of names I remembered from the game and anime: the biggest underground slave traders and slavemasters.

Her abrupt rampages in seemingly random locations were a big reason for the continuing trend where even the greediest criminals kept some distance to our territories and redirected money away from slave trade to less risky business ventures. The urban legend making rounds on the streets was that “dark clouds appear above those who sell slaves at north”.

Then we saved a princess from a dragon – well, not from a literal dragon, of course. We saved her from the dragon’s head of the Dark Murderers crime syndicate. And rather than personally saving the princess like gentlemen, I created a fool-proof plan with Crys, and we sent a bunch of handpicked roadmen from our member gangs for a long job far away.

Crys wanted a test run to see if my recommendations are good enough to become full members of the Revolution Movement. I wrote a letter to give to the princess and explain the situation; she’d be obviously reluctant to move around with a shady bunch of balaclava gunmen otherwise.

And the mission went well: princess Seroptina Swordling of Oxus, a small kingdom in southeastern Ur, was now a staunch supporter of Revolution Movement.

With princess Achlop of Pikatrate, we had two princesses in the roster, so I thought that maybe I should arrange a way for the two princesses to meet each other. Maybe host a grand tea party and use it as a propaganda event to consolidate the concept that Sorry Man, the dragon’s head of Revolution Movement, regularly socializes with high royalty?

Well, that plan was still in the idea phase.

Anyway, achievements and collectibles were like 80% done. With all key scenes and side quests solved... Yeah, I’d say about 80% of all the game content was done.

We had visited most of the anime locations in northern Mu and Ur. We had ran though familiar scenes from the game in a way that was advantageous to us. We had solved tragic misunderstandings with clear explanations before those tragicomic events had the opportunity to take place. We had killed so many criminals before their crimes happened.

If someone from my world be able to watch how these scenes played out, they’d have to create a new watch order for the anime because of all the things we did backwards and sidewards.

Unfortunately, those last 20% percent were all the most dangerous and silly places.

Reignland and Sun City. The Eight Floor of the Bone Dune Station (now under ruins and thus unclearable). The center of the White Forest inside Winter Forest. The depths of the Deep Basement. Alphons room plus all other sealed doors of Starfish Mansion. The time-stuck Raft Island.

Seitheargnagh wasn’t exceptionally dangerous anymore, though. We revisited the city with Ivorythief and Reavertooth, and eliminated Lucranah Skineater and most of his sacrificatrix priests.

It was quite cathartic to see Lucranah trash around in a trap just like in the game, curbstomped by the combined power of the twins, with some support from Crys, Kimono and me. Geegee eezee.

However, the dozen large cult temples of Seitheargnagh were still full of Lucranah’s brainwashed followers and deviants in hiding, so we weren’t exactly welcome – especially after we released all their basement slaves and inspired many of them to attack temple priests and steal their wealth, and the cultists were absolutely triggered because the twins ate Lucranah’s eyes. The skin-eating vampire became a snack himself.

Lucranah cult sent crazy ninja assassins after the twins for months. They couldn’t move anywhere outside the Black Forest without some wacko trying to attack them.

Just like in the original game, 100% completion was impossible. Some events always canceled out each other; a single-use key could only open one door out of three.

After we can clear the Reignland quest, I’m just going to round up to 100% and call it done.

Leave out the ultra-dangerous areas and instadeath dungeons as no-go zones. This is as close to perfect you can get in Mu-Ur. By speedrunning community standards, this is already higher than what was thought to be possible.

Don’t take the risk of losing unprecedented 90% completion by trying impossible 100%. If you have a perfectly good painting with two haystacks, don’t try to add a third haystack in the middle thinking that it makes the painting even more perfect. Two is enough, two is just right.

If you stick the landing on the second film, stop planning a third film. A trilogy is not inherently better than a duology, a game with 500 cards is not necessarily better than a game with 100 cards. Quality over quantity, that’s where I’m getting at. Good enough is enough. Perfect is not necessary.

We already lost the Knocking Gun during our raid to Green Mountain cult’s main temple. If that weapon of mass hypnosis is still in one piece somewhere under the rubble and the crazy cultists return to dig it out… Yeah, we need to keep guards at the temple ruins.

And then there was Thiefmaster.

Compared to his marginal importance in the game, that annoying side-boss has become too prominent in this world. A sharp pebble that keeps chafing skin in our collective boots.

And speaking of percentages, we have already used about 80% of our dynamite – our rarest advantage. Crys doesn’t hoard the best stuff for rainy days like gamers. It’s better to overkill than underkill, that’s his philosophy.

The remaining 20% of unused dynamite is currently kept as two separate caches: one is for the Reignland mission, and the other is reserved for emergency use only.

Obviously there are still some unexplored areas on the world map too, areas without any story-relevant content that might have some unknown flags. Sending exploration teams on those areas in the future might be a good idea – or it might prove to be a fatal mistake. That’s how it goes with unknown unknowns.

Well, you can’t make a bad omelet without breaking a few bad eggs. We could send some less reliable side characters to explore gray areas without named locations.

Is that an evil thing to do? Sometimes I feel like I keep borrowing more and more pages from Crys’ sociopathic scenario book.

“Master, we have arrived.” (T-Sub)
“Huh?”
“We are at Map Village.” (T-Sub)
“Sorry, I dozed off a bit. Change the stream title, boss, let’s chat with the followers.”

It was a long rough ride through wind and rain, but were here.

We finally made it from map point A to map point B.