Intelligent Design: A Monster Evolution LitRPG

David awoke with a start, his stomach roiling like a sea at storm. The starlight filtered weakly through the canopy, casting everything in a sickly hue that matched how he felt. His nose twitched, picking up the lingering scent of overripe fruit and... something worse.

"Urgh," he groaned, his eyes snapping open. "Did I get stabbed in my sleep?"

Panic surged through him as his foggy brain registered the pain as a potential wound. He scrambled to right himself, nearly tumbling from his perch in the process. His wings flailed wildly, talons scrabbling at the bark as he hauled himself upright.

"Okay, okay, not dying," David muttered, his heart pounding like a jackhammer. "Just... ow. Ow ow ow."

He crouched on the branch, hunched over his aching belly. The pain was intense, like someone had replaced his insides with angry porcupines having a mosh pit. David's mind raced, conjuring up increasingly absurd scenarios.

"Oh god," he wheezed, "what if I'm allergic to fruit now? What if my new evolution made me lactose intolerant to... fructose? Is that even a thing?"

In a panic, he checked his Readout, expecting to see some horrific new status effect like 'Fruit Poisoning' or 'Digestive Doom.' But there was nothing. Nada. Zip.

"Great," David grumbled, "not even the System knows what's wrong with me. Fan-freaking-tastic."

He straightened up, wincing as his stomach protested the movement. The Cuddlebugs were still snoozing peacefully around him, tiny snores barely audible over the awakening forest.

"Hey, guys," David started, his voice strained. "I might need your help to—"

And then it happened.

The burp started deep in his gut, a rumbling that would make a volcano jealous. It surged up his throat like a tidal wave of carbonated lava, unstoppable and slightly terrifying. David's eyes widened in shock as his jaws were forced open by the sheer pressure.

“BRRRRUUUUAAAAOOORRRRPPPHHH!”

The sound that erupted from David was less of a burp and more of a sonic boom with halitosis, almost in Screech territory for volume. It echoed through the forest, sending bird-like animals scattering in panic and probably waking up every creature within a five-mile radius. The force of it nearly knocked David off his perch, his wings pinwheeling comically as he fought to stay upright.

The smell hit him a split second later, and if David could have gagged, he would have. It was as if someone had taken a year's worth of rotten oranges, mixed them with swamp gas, and then let the unholy concoction ferment in the sun for a week. His sensitive nose went into overdrive, and he was pretty sure he could literally taste colors. Ugly colors.

"Holy shiitake mushrooms," David gasped when he could finally breathe again. "What the actual f—"

His words were cut short as the Cuddlebugs, rudely awakened by the apocalyptic burp, started flapping about in alarm. They hissed and squeaked, tiny wings flapping and jerking in surprise like angry hummingbirds. One by one, they pulled themselves upright on the branch they had been hanging from, their beady eyes wide with confusion and what might have been a hint of judgment.

David was about to reassure them when he felt another burp building. He clamped his jaws shut, cheeks puffing out comically as he tried to contain it. The Cuddlebugs watched in fascination as their master's face contorted into expressions that would make a cartoon character proud. David failed miserably, and the burp forced its way out anyway, sounding like the world's nastiest car backfiring.

And then, as if inspired by David's gastrointestinal orchestra, the Cuddlebugs began to burp.

It started with the ‘normal’ one, a high-pitched "eep!" that sounded more like a hiccup. Then another joined in, its burp sounding like a tiny kazoo. Soon, the entire group was belching in harmony, creating a symphony of squeaks, squeals, and surprisingly deep rumbles.

David couldn't help it. Despite the lingering discomfort in his stomach, he started to laugh. The sight of his usually fierce little companions looking utterly baffled by their own bodily functions was too much to bear.

But his laughter was cut short when he noticed one Cuddlebug wasn't joining the burping chorus. It was the little glutton that had fallen off the branch earlier, now looking decidedly uncomfortable. Its tiny body was swollen, and its eyes were wide with what could only be described as furry panic.

"Oh no," David whispered, his mirth evaporating. "No, no, no. I was kidding about you guys popping! I didn't mean it!"

He reached out with his mind, trying to connect with the distressed Cuddlebug. The feedback he received was a jumble of discomfort, fear, and a sensation that could only be described as 'impending doom.'

"It's okay, little buddy," David cooed, reaching out to gently pat the Cuddlebug. "We'll figure this out. Maybe we can find you some tiny Tums or—"

PFFFSSSSQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

The sound that erupted from the Cuddlebug's rear end was so unexpected and so forceful that David nearly fell out of the tree in shock. It was like someone had let the air out of a balloon, if that balloon had been filled with the essence of a thousand bean burritos.

The tiny creature's eyes went wide, then crossed, as it clung to the branch for dear life and it’s expression shifted to intense concentration. Its little body vibrated with the force of the flatulence, fur rippling like grass in a hurricane. The fart seemed to go on forever, a shrill whine accompanying the explosive release.

For a solid six seconds, David could only stare, his jaw hanging open in disbelief. Then, as the Cuddlebug's epic fart finally tapered off into a series of tiny squeaks, he lost it completely.

Laughter burst from David like a dam breaking. He doubled over, wings clutching his sides as he howled with mirth. He was pretty sure he inhaled a bug at some point, and he gasped for breath between guffaws.

"Oh... my... god," he wheezed, barely able to form words. "That was... that was..."

He couldn't finish the sentence, overcome by another wave of hysterics. The other Cuddlebugs, seemingly recovered from their own gaseous adventures, watched their master with a mixture of confusion and concern.

Minutes passed, and still David laughed. It was the kind of laughter that starts in your toes and works its way up, leaving you feeling like you've just had the best massage of your life. Every time he thought he was done, the image of the tiny Cuddlebug’s face as it clung to the branch for dear life would pop into his head, and he'd be off again.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of giggle fits, David managed to calm down. He wiped his eyes, sides aching in the best possible way.

"Whew," he sighed, a few residual chuckles escaping. "I needed that. Who knew the apocalypse could be so... gassy?"

As the laughter faded, leaving behind a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest, David's mind suddenly snapped back to more pressing matters. His eyes widened as he remembered the treasures tucked away in his mental inventory.

"The Fusion Tokens!" he exclaimed, straightening up with renewed energy. "And the Origination Token! How could I forget?"

The Cuddlebugs perked up at his excited tone, gathering around him expectantly. David grinned, his earlier discomfort all but forgotten in the face of potential upgrades.

"Alright, gang," he announced, feigning cracking his knuckles dramatically. "Time to get down to business. Let's see what kind of trouble we can cook up with these babies."

David settled more comfortably on his branch, the faint light casting dappled shadows across his fur. He pulled up the Origination Token for inspection, curiosity and wariness warring in his mind.

"Alright, let's see what this fancy-pants token is all about," he muttered, squinting at the shimmering object in his mental inventory. The description that unfurled before him was both intriguing and frustratingly vague:

Origination Token: Grants access to the Pulse of Origination, allowing the User to access ambient energy.

Warning: Functionality dependent on Originator influence.

David's brow furrowed. "Well, that's…weird. Ambient energy? Originator influence? Why do I feel like I'm signing up for a pyramid scheme?"

Despite his reservations, David felt he didn't really have a choice. Omega's ominous words echoed in his mind, reminding him that he was already in too deep to back out now.

I’m totally going to bite you when I have the chance, you know that right? Jerkass Overseer. I can’t believe the creepy fox is the better of the two. With my luck, all the other ones are chill and friendly, and I just happened to catch the attention of the only two who don't answer to some cosmic ethics committee.

With a resigned sigh, he activated the token. Instantly, an unpleasant tingling sensation bubbled through his body, intensifying to an almost painful degree before vanishing as quickly as it had come.

David blinked, patting himself down. "Huh. Was that it? No fireworks? No dramatic music? I don't feel any different."

He shrugged, chalking it up to some future development. "Guess it's a 'results may vary' kind of deal. Moving on!"

Turning his attention to the more pressing matter of his Fusion Tokens, David began to mentally sort through his options. He knew he wanted to incorporate the Proprioception Mutagen and the Metabolic Surge ability. The new Royal Bloodline was also a must, bringing him up to the maximum of two Bloodlines. David wasn’t sure he was comfortable fusing the Bloodlines themselves just yet, unwilling to potentially lose his now cherished ability to spit death gas on command.

"Okay, let's see what we gotta do to make this work…," David mused, flicking an ear thoughtfully.

Twenty minutes of intense mental gymnastics later, including a few visual aids scratched into the tree, David came to a realization that made him groan out loud.

"You've got to be kidding me," he muttered, rubbing his temples. "I need to fuse two abilities, two mutagens, and a mutagen with an ability? At least I figured it out, but damn. I wasn’t expecting that to turn into a logic puzzle."

“I just wanna use my new stuff, dammit!” David whined piteously to a nearby cuddlebug, who was already beginning to edge toward the supply of unmolested fruits left on the tree.

The realization that he'd have to say goodbye to some of his favorite abilities stung, but David knew it was inevitable.

At least the System is pretty elegant when it comes to combining things. I’m lucky that it seems to tweak stuff just a bit to fit whoever gets it, or it’d be a lot harder to get anything off the ground. If it was more literal I’d be screwed; definitely proof that Omega didn’t design that part of it… Or maybe he’s just not in charge of that sub…system? SubSystem? Eh…whatever.

"At least when I fused Gloom, I could still use it more or less the same way," he mused. "Just had to fuel it with Wildsoul instead."

This thought sparked a moment of introspection. "Wait a second... does that mean I’ve been using a Wildsoul juiced Mutagen the entire time since I got it? And I didn’t try using it on the others I’ve got because…? Dammit David, you need to test stuff more!"

Filing that tidbit away for future experimentation, he set about mentally arranging his options.

"Alright, let's see what we've got on the chopping block," he said, addressing his attentive audience of Cuddlebugs. "For abilities, we've got Screech, Nocturnal Strike, and Moonsong. Not messing with Doom Blade, or Nightshade swarm quite yet. I don’t understand how you little monsters would be affected by it yet…I dont wanna accidentally...Anyway, moving on."

“Mutagen-wise, we're looking at Ancestral Terror, Secretive, and Apical, I guess. They haven’t gotten much love lately, and it’s not like they couldn’t stand to be stronger. Apical really saved my ass against the Hive Queen, and Secretive could be really good with the new Bloodline. Half detection range? I could probably ride someone around like a backpack and they’d never notice if I did it right. Heheh, so much potential there."

David leaned back against the tree trunk, his wings spread wide for balance as he delved deeper into his analysis. The Cuddlebugs huddled closer, seemingly enthralled by their master's intense concentration.

"Alright, let's break this down," he muttered, eyes narrowed in thought. "Moonsong and Screech... now that's a combo with some serious potential."

He imagined the fusion, eyes glittering with anticipation. "It'd be like having a sonic Swiss Army knife. Heal and empower my friends, or scramble my enemies' brains like an egg beater."

The idea of 'gaming' the System to add some kind of targeting system made David's snout wrinkle into a grinchlike smile. "If I could make it register friend from foe, that'd be huge. No more worrying about friendly fire... or friendly deafening, I guess."

But then his thoughts turned to Screech and Nocturnal Strike. "A ranged AOE stamina drain with a chance to stun? That's tempting as hell," he mused, absently scratching behind a Cuddlebug's ears, the little summon absolutely drenched in juice that left his claws feeling a bit sticky. "But giving up Nocturnal Strike's mobility..."

David frowned, remembering how often that ability had saved his bacon. "It doesn't cost anything if I don't empower it, and even then, it's cheap as chips. Plus, those mid-air redirects have gotten me out of more tight spots than I can count."

He sighed, conflicted. "Maybe Proprioception could make up for it, but that's a big maybe. And in this world, maybes tend to bite you in the ass. Or in my case, the wings."

Turning his attention to the mutagens, David's expression grew thoughtful. "Ancestral Terror and Secretive could be a match made in nightmare heaven. Imagine sneaking up on someone, then BAM! Instant heart attack."

He grinned harder, baring his fangs. "Plus, last time Ancestral Terror kicked in, I got a sweet fur upgrade. Maybe this time I'll get some face fuzz back. A bat's gotta have dreams, right?" He paused for a moment, just imagining how awesome this was going to be.

The Cuddlebugs chittered in what might have been agreement or mockery. It was hard to tell sometimes. One of them, the little glutton from earlier, puffed out its cheeks and made an exaggerated burping motion, drawing a snort from David.

"Oh, so we're doing impressions now?" he quipped, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at them.

Another Cuddlebug, sporting a particularly ratlike tail, scampered up his wing and struck a heroic pose, chest puffed out. It flexed its tiny muscles, looking comically serious.

"What, auditioning for 'Cutest Cuddlebug Weekly' are we?" David chuckled, gently poking the posing Cuddlebug's belly. It promptly wrapped its tail around his talon, hanging upside down with a cheeky grin.

A third Cuddlebug fluttered up, hovering in front of David's face. It squinted its eyes and furrowed its brow in an uncanny imitation of David's 'thinking face', complete with a tiny wing scratching its chin.

"Alright, alright, I get it you little shitheads!" David laughed, shooing the mimic away. "You guys are real comedians. Maybe we should forget the upgrades and start a traveling circus instead. Okay, focus David. We got work to do, stop playing with your assault-critters.” Despite this, he still took a moment to swat and bat playfully at the little monsters before returning to the task at hand.

"Hmmm… then there's Secretive and Apical," David continued after a moment, his voice lowering as if sharing a conspiracy. "Stealing resources from unsuspecting victims? That's some next-level sneaky shenanigans."

He imagined the possibilities, his eyes gleaming. "With my evolution, that could snowball hard. I'm already popping in and out of combat all over the place. Against small groups or in duels, I'd be a nightmare."

But then reality set in, and David's expression sobered. "Except, against hordes like Her Royal Buginess was throwing around, stealth isn't exactly an option. Just too many eyes on the fight for it to really be effective."

He shook his head, conflicted. "It'd be great for focusing on smaller groups, but could leave me high and dry against the big swarms. And in this world, you never know when you'll stumble into a bug mosh pit."

Finally, David considered the last combination. "Apical and Ancestral Terror, though... that could be the sweet spot. Stealing resources from people I've scared shitless? Now that's a business model I can get behind, at this point I’ve just accepted I’m what goes bump in the night."

He grinned, imagining the scenario. "With my potential stealth bonuses, flat out fifty percent less detection? I'd be like a furry, flying ninja. A... Finja? No, that sounds like a sea creature. A Ninjat? Eh, we'll workshop it."

As David continued to mull over his options, the world around him dozed happily in the hours before dawn. The weight of the decision pressed on him, each choice potentially altering his path more than intended, but still critical to make anyway.

"Who knew Fusing could get so complicated?" he sighed, running a wing through his fur. "I almost miss when anything would be an upgrade, and I still had free slots…although I’m a lot more badass now. A few weeks ago I’d have been bug food inside thirty seconds trying to do what I just did."

The Cuddlebugs chittered sympathetically, one of them nuzzling David's leg with a tiny snout.

"Thanks, guys," David said, managing a smile. "At least I've got you to keep me sane. Or as sane as a talking bat monster can be, anyway."

The more David thought about it, the more excited he became. Each potential combination opened up new tactical possibilities, new ways to surprise and overcome his enemies. And the prank potential! Now that his looming doom was over and dealt with, he could get back to doing what he liked best…poking around and goofing off.

"You know what," he said, grinning at his furry companions, "maybe this isn't such a bad deal after all. Sure, I'm saying goodbye to some old favorites, but hello to a whole new world of bat-shit crazy stuff."

As the night began to fade into morning, David continued to mull over his options, weighing the pros and cons of each combination. He knew that whatever he chose would fundamentally change his fighting style, potentially opening up new strategies he hadn't even considered before.

"One thing's for sure," he mused, stretching his wings. "Whatever comes out of this fusion fiesta, it's going to be one hell of a ride. Better buckle up, bugs. Your fluffy overlord is about to level up in style."

With a determined nod, David prepared to make his choices. The forest around him seemed to hold its breath, as if aware that something momentous was about to occur. Whatever the outcome, David knew that after this, he'd probably be able to dodge whatever Claire threw at him after he'd told her the story.

He straightened up, puffing out his chest dramatically. The Cuddlebugs gathered around, their tiny eyes wide with anticipation. David couldn't resist the urge to ham it up a bit.

"Alright, chums," he announced, barely containing his grin. "Let's do this!"

He paused for dramatic effect, then burst out with an enthusiasm that would make any reckless gamer proud:

"DAAAAVID BATMAAAAAN!"

The Cuddlebugs exploded into a frenzy of excited squeaks and flutters, clearly catching the infectious energy even if they didn't quite understand their master's sudden outburst.

Least I got fruit…okay, enough fucking around. Time to burn these tokens.