Intelligent Design: A Monster Evolution LitRPG

David eyed his assembled Cuddlebugs, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Alright, furballs, time for your spa treatment. Who wants to smell like Eau de Bug?"

The tiny creatures chirped excitedly, oblivious to the task ahead. David grabbed a large leaf, using it as a makeshift paintbrush. He scrubbed it into the scent glands on his neck, picking up his concocted pheromone mixture, a blend that reeked of ant and bee.

"Hold still, you little gremlins," he muttered, carefully applying the mixture to each Cuddlebug. He started with their backs, then gently turned them over to coat their undersides. "This is some high-class bug perfume. Don't waste it."

As he worked, David couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all. Here he was, a bat monster giving tiny, deadly furballs a pheromone bath. The apocalypse really did make for strange bedfellows.

Just be glad I'm not doing it the ‘Planet Animal Channel' way. I saw how most animals ‘applied pheremones’ back in the day, and I'm not sure they'd ever look at me the same again if I did it that way…

One particularly squirmy Cuddlebug kept evading his leaf-brush. David narrowed his eyes, remembering his earlier ‘suggestion’.

"Oh, you want special treatment, huh?" With exaggerated movements, he pretended to use the creature as a loofah, rubbing it vigorously against his armpit. "There! Now you smell extra fancy."

To his surprise, the Cuddlebug seemed to revel in the attention, purring contentedly.

David shook his head, chuckling. "Weirdos, the lot of you."

With the scent disguise applied, David divided the Cuddlebugs into teams. He pointed at the first group, "You're the Weyland group." To the second, "Yutani group." And finally, "And you little terrors are the Ripley group."

He paused, grinning to himself. "Not that any of that means anything to you. Just humor me, okay? Man, I miss movie night. Let's hope this goes better than those flicks usually played out, eh?"

The Empowered Cuddlebugs took charge of their respective teams, puffing out their chests importantly. David knelt down, his voice lowering conspiratorially.

"Alright, listen up. You're going to be my eyes and ears in there. Scout those vents, map out the routes, and for the love of all that's holy, don't get squished. You're small, you're quick, and you don't have to deal with the gross factor. Lucky bastards."

He suppressed a shudder, memories of his earlier venture still fresh. "Now get in there and make me proud Team. Operation Bug Hunt is a go!"

The Cuddlebugs flew off, disappearing into the treeline on a straight shot for the hive's ventilation system. David settled back, preparing for the wait. Within minutes, the first impressions began filtering through the mental link.

Flashes of dark tunnels, pulsing walls, and strange, bioluminescent growths filled his mind. The newer Empowered Cuddlebugs sent chaotic, unfocused images, tinged with excitement and nervousness. In contrast, the veteran pair provided clearer, more detailed snapshots, their emotional input steady and focused.

"Huh," David mused, "guess experience really does make a difference. Who knew my fuzzy little spies could level up?"

As time passed, a clearer picture of the hive's internal structure emerged. The ventilation shafts were a complex network, far more intricate than David had imagined. He saw glimpses of strange, caterpillar-like creatures methodically repairing and expanding the tunnels, utterly ignoring the passing Cuddlebugs.

One veteran Cuddlebug sent an image of a narrow passage opening into a vast chamber. The walls glistened with a slimy substance, and egg-like structures dotted the floor, just barely covered with a layer a dense, humid mist. The impression came with a sense of wariness and a hint of fascination.

Another Cuddlebug, one of the newer ones, relayed a chaotic series of images: a sudden rush of worker insects, a frantic scramble to hide its group, the pounding of countless legs passing by. The fear was palpable, but so was the thrill of the close call.

"Well, that's convenient," David muttered, processing the information. "Let's hear it for single-minded bug labor and my stealthy little ninjas."

The mental images kept coming, each one adding to the growing map in David's mind. Narrow passages that opened into cavernous chambers, strange organic structures that pulsed with an alien rhythm, and always, always, the sense of teeming life just beyond the vent walls.

After what felt like an eternity but was closer to ninety minutes, David received a triumphant burst of emotion from one of the veteran Cuddlebugs. The mental image that followed made his breath catch in his throat.

A massive chamber, easily recognizable but seen from a new angle, filled his mind's eye. And there, in the center, was the unmistakable bulk of the Hive Queen. The image was accompanied by a mix of awe and primal fear, along with a sense of accomplishment at having found the target.

"Bingo," he whispered, a predatory grin spreading across his face. "Looks like we've got a royal appointment."

David's reaction to the successful reconnaissance was a sight to behold. He began a bizarre dance, part victory jig and part full-body shudder. His wings flapped erratically, stirring up leaves and debris as he hopped from foot to foot.

"Yes! I made a plan that actually worked!" he hissed excitedly, pumping a wing in the air. Then, as the full implications of what they'd seen hit him, he shivered violently. "Oh god, it's gonna be so gross in there. So. Many. Bugs."

After his moment of celebration-slash-revulsion, David composed himself and sent out a mental command to his Cuddlebug army: Group up at the team that found the chamber. Look around. Be careful.

As his furry spies regrouped with impressive efficiency, David directed them to scout the Queen's chamber more thoroughly.

To his pleasant surprise, not only did the Cuddlebugs execute his orders with unexpected competence, but they actually managed to locate another ventilation shaft near the Queen herself.

However, the news came with a catch.

"Her personal AC, huh?" David muttered, processing the mental images. "Well, isn't that convenient... and utterly disgusting."

The vent wasn't directly above the Queen, but it was close enough to work with. What caught David's attention, however, were the guards stationed at the entrance. The mental snapshot he received made his fur stand on end.

These weren't the beetle-like creatures he'd assumed were the Queen's elite guard. No, these were something far more terrifying. They resembled wasps, but twisted into something out of a nightmare. Each was easily the size of David himself, with elongated bodies covered in gleaming, pitch-black exoskeletons. Their wings were folded tightly against their bodies, looking more like deadly blades than appendages for flight.

What really set them apart were their heads. Massive compound eyes glowed with an eerie, reddish light. Mandibles that looked like they could shear through steel clicked menacingly. Antennae twitched constantly, scanning for any hint of a threat.

"Well, aren't you two just a pair of beauties," David whispered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "What are you supposed to be, the elite-elite guard? The 'only let air through' squad?"

Despite his apprehension, David instructed his Cuddlebugs to proceed past the guards. He watched through their eyes as they approached, noting with a mixture of relief and confusion that the wasp-like sentinels almost seemed to expect the presence. They opened their mandibles impossibly wide, leaning down towards his approaching scouts. His veteran Cuddlebugs sent back a nearly 4k impression of the bug's mouthparts wriggling excitedly, and David thought it was about to be a massacre.

However, the two horrible killing machines simply sat there placidly, unmoving. After a moment's hesitation, David urged his Summons to continue onward into the larger ventilation shaft. The guards' antennae waved in what appeared to be puzzlement as the Cuddlebugs scurried by, but they made no move to stop them.

"Huh," David muttered, flicking an ear in confusion. "Guess my eau de bug is better than I thought. I wonder what that was about?"

The Cuddlebugs continued into the larger ventilation shaft, which, to David's relief, looked like it could accommodate his bat-like frame without too much discomfort. He directed them to follow the shaft to its exit, a task they accomplished with admirable speed.

When they encountered the grate-like covering at the exit, David's first reaction was annoyance. But as he studied the structure through his minions' eyes, a grin spread across his face. "That's not going to be a problem," he muttered, already imagining the satisfying sizzle of his Miasma melting through the organic barrier.

Less satisfactorily, just outside the grate were several more of the large black wasp-like creatures, all busily fanning their wings at the mouth of the tunnel. David couldn't hear it himself, but from the vague irritation he could feel from his summons, it was probably loud. Really loud.

With their mission complete, David called his summons back. As he waited for their return, his mind was already racing, piecing together the fragments of a plan. The layout of the hive, the position of the Queen, the guard placement – it all swirled in his head, a puzzle waiting to be solved.

His thoughts kept returning to those wasp-like guards. They were unlike anything he'd seen in the hive so far, and their presence bothered him. Were they a special breed created solely to protect the Queen? And if so, what other surprises might be waiting for him?

David shook his head, pushing those concerns aside for the moment. He had the information he needed. Now it was time to put it to use. As the first of his Cuddlebugs began to return, chittering excitedly about their successful mission, his eyes gleamed with determination.

David felt a wave of satisfaction wash over him. He had the intel he needed, and now it was time to retreat and formulate a proper plan.

Preferably somewhere less... buggy.

"Alright, troops," he announced to his Cuddlebug army. "Time to board the S.S. Batshit. All aboard!"

He lowered one wing dramatically to the ground, forming a makeshift ramp. To his amusement and slight bewilderment, several of the Cuddlebugs actually scampered up the impromptu gangplank, chittering excitedly.

"You guys really need to get out more," David muttered, shaking his head. "That, or I need to stop anthrofro... anthrop... ugh, what's that word?"

His ears swiveled in frustration as he wrestled with his vocabulary. "Anthropomorpahawhatsit? Anthropopotamus? No, that's not right. Sounds like a hippo with an identity crisis."

David's brow furrowed, his fangs worrying at his lower lip as he tried to dredge up the correct term from the recesses of his memory. "Anthropomorphizing! That's it!" He declared triumphantly, before deflating slightly. "Or is it? Damn, I used to know this stuff."

He glanced down at the Cuddlebugs, who were staring at him with their usual mixture of adoration and confusion. "Look, the point is, I need to stop treating you like you're tiny, furry humans. Even if you are adorably expressive for a bunch of nightmarish abominations."

David sighed, running a wing over his face. "And now I'm explaining myself to you. Great job, bat boy. Really nailing the 'don't treat them exactly like people' thing."

As the last Cuddlebug finally found its perch, David's gaze fell on the two captive insects. A lightbulb went off in his head, accompanied by the memory of a massive dragonfly swarm that had once forced him and Claire into a hasty retreat.

Now there's an idea. Let's see just how trigger-happy these bugs get when one of their own bites the dust. For science, of course. And maybe a little bit for the schaden...schaden...not this shit again. Ugh. Fuck it.

With exaggerated care, David scooped up the captives in his hind claws, making sure to keep the "ouchy ends" well away from any vulnerable bits.

Note to self: 'Ouchy ends' is not a scientific term. I really should have paid more attention to Gideons vocabulary. Eh, who cares. I'm the one with the PhD in Apocalyptic Bug Studies now.

With his passengers secure, David took to the skies. He climbed higher and higher until the lines of worker bugs below looked like, well, bugs. At about 300 feet up, he paused, hovering with practiced ease.

Alright, David. Time for some aerial acrobatics. Just remember, if you puke, you're only going to hit yourself.

Maintaining his hover, David bent his long neck down between his legs. It was an awkward position, to say the least, but he managed to keep his balance. With a grimace of anticipation, he opened his jaws wide and chomped down on the captive bee.

The sensation of bug crunching between his teeth was... indescribable. And not in a good way.

Heeeuuuuugh. This is so much worse than I imagined. Never, ever doing this again. Ever.

Fighting the urge to gag, David spat out the mangled bee corpse, giving it a little extra oomph with a twist of his neck. The insect carcass plummeted towards the earth, a tiny speck falling through the vast expanse of sky.

One Mississippi... Two Mississippi... Three Missi-

SPLAT.

The impact was barely visible from David's altitude, but the reaction it triggered was impossible to miss. The orderly lines of worker bugs instantly dissolved into chaos, surging towards the fallen bee like angry tendrils of a single, massive organism.

Within seconds, a cloud of bees formed over the impact site. From David's vantage point, it looked like the world's angriest, most nightmare-inducing swarm of mosquitoes.

Well, that's... terrifying.

David swallowed hard. Even the Cuddlebugs had fallen silent, watching the growing swarm below with what he could only assume was a mixture of awe and terror.

Less than a minute later, the beetles arrived. The sound of their wings was like a hundred chainsaws revving up simultaneously, the noise echoing off the surrounding foothills. David's sensitive ears picked up their angry clicking, a sound that sent shivers down his spine.

Okay, that's more than enough science for one day. Time to make like a tree and get the fuck out of here.

Deciding that discretion was very much the better part of valor, David prepared to make his exit. But first, he had one more experiment to conduct.

With an almost casual flick of his Wildsoul, David unleashed his Empowered Corruptor's Touch on the still-squirming ant in his grasp. A glob of saliva, hissing and bubbling with Miasma, struck the insect dead center.

The effect was instantaneous and horrifying. The Miasma ate through the ant's exoskeleton like a hot knife through butter, or more accurately, like paint thinner through Styrofoam. The insect's body seemed to collapse in on itself, chunks of it sloughing off and dissolving into nothingness as the wind whipped them away.

Well, looks like my nightmare catalog is going to be just brimming with new and exciting content after today. The little ones aren't very sturdy for their size, are they? I expected...well, actually. Makes sense. Can't assume every random bug will be a powerhouse or we'd all be dead already and this would be Bug World.

He dropped what little remained of the ant and began to gain altitude, catching an updraft with a heavy thump of his wings. As the wind carried him away from the hive, he kept one eye on the roiling mass of insects far below.

Interestingly, while the swarm had reacted with lightning speed to the first corpse, they seemed to completely ignore the steadily dissolving remains of the ant.

Huh. Either my Miasma is corrosive enough to destroy their warning signal, or they're just too pissed off to care about one more dead bug. My money's on the Miasma. That stuff makes nuclear waste look like spring water.

Suddenly, David's nose twitched. A familiar scent wafted up from his own jaws – the faint traces of that "death marker" pheromone. A huge, Grinch-like smile spread across his face as an idea began to form in his mind.

Oh. Oh ho ho. Oh, that’d be perfect.

Unable to contain himself, David let out a laugh that would have made any self-respecting supervillain proud. It echoed across the sky, a sound of pure, maniacal glee.

I've got you now, Your Majesty. You and your entire hive. Oh, this is going to be good. So very, very good.

As he soared away from the hive, carried by the wind and his own excitement, David's mind raced with the possibilities. He had a plan forming, a beautiful, terrible, absolutely insane plan.

And if it worked? Well, let's just say the Hive Queen was in for one hell of a surprise.