Hunter Or Huntress

As the sugar rush slowly consumed the artificer, her chatting turned to rambling and then into full on babbling as she slowly descended into the realms of incomprehensibility. She was talking so fast, and using words which Tom certainly did not understand. Judging by the faces around the table he wasn’t the only one, as there was a lot of headtilting and confused expresions going around.

Eventually Sapphire decided to re-ground the artificer into reality, asking “Do you think Teskar would have loved to try all sorts of food like this?”

“Probably. The food was never very good compared to all this. But he never complained. He said our food was better than what he was used to. He did teach me one thing though!”

“Oooh?” Saph questioned, leaning in closer, the rest of the table following suit, hoping for something funny.

“I uhm… it- it’s a machine thing,” Edita went, sounding embarrassed by the notion.

“Well some of us like that sorta thing,” Tom interjected before Saph got a word in. “What is it?”

“Do you know what a torpedo is? Metal long shiny. Goes kaboom!”

“Yeah?”

“Those big flying things that Baron talked about, right?” Jacky asked, tilting her head. “You know when…”

“Uhm… sure,” Edita agreed, getting right back to her story. “Most are steam powered, buuut Teskar knew about some ancient old ones that used alcohol instead! Just like Tom’s quad bike… I think. I don’t actually know how they used it. He didn’t either. But he knew how to make the fuel!”

“You made torpedo juice… without the torpedo,” Tom questioned, slightly dumbfounded. He had definitely not seen that one coming.

“How did you know what it was called!?” the artificer broke out, elated by the surprise.

“We did it too,” Tom admitted, trying to remember how that song and dance went. He definitely remembered something about sub crews straining torpedo fuel for the alcohol in it. Something about a loaf of bread or something.

“You did!” Edita broke out seeming very happily surprised. “Oh that is amazing! It is just the best for cleaning off the greasy fingerprints you make all the time. It just looks so bad on the nice polished metal, brass especially.”

“Uhm no we didn't use it for cleaning… we drank it.“

“Oh silly you, Tom. You can’t drink alcohol, that’s poison,” Edita went taking another swig of her mug while everyone stared at her. “What?” she questioned, picking up on something being wrong as she looked around at them all.

“Edita, what’s that then?” Tom questioned, pointing at her mug.

“Beer…” she replied innocently, then the realization dawned. “Which is alcohol!”

“Yeaaaah…” Tom went, nodding very slowly, quite confused how the artificer hadn’t worked that out a very long time ago.

“But is that the same thing as torpedo alcohol? No no, it can’t be. That stuff is poison.”

“Mostly,” Tom went with a shrug. “Who was it that told you that stuff was poison?”

“The head artificers, and lords of machinery… but they don’t lie?” Edita questioned, as much to herself as to him he was pretty sure. Though she did seem to be pondering the proposition.

“I mean technically no.”

“So it is poison! Oh no!” she went putting the mug down, looking at it scared for a moment before turning to Tom. “But you drink it? You all drink it?! How?!”

“Whoooa there, slow down. Alcohol does things to people, and too much is bad for you. So it is technically a poison. So they didn’t lie… but it also doesn’t mean you can’t have a little.”

“Ooohhhh… But I wanted to have a lot. Just like you talked about you used to do so you could become a proper engineer!”

“Well uhm…-”

Edita then stood up, leaning over the table and grabbing Tom by the shirt, which was a bit of a reach for her. “Does that mean I can’t get to be an engineer?!” She seemed quite distraught, Tom almost fearing she would start crying. Her eyes were actually looking wet. And he could feel Jacky shifting, likely ready to push her off. He put a hand on her thigh calmingly and looked the artificer in the eyes.

“You can have plenty to become an engineer and still be fine,” Tom reassured her, giving her a pat on the shoulder.

“You promise? On your… your…”

“On my honor, you will one day become an engineer too,” Tom went, nodding and smiling, hoping that would do the trick.

‘I don’t think she needs any more right now though, and we are short one engineering university.’

A smile started to spread on her face, almost in slow motion, growing so big it honestly looked wrong. And then she lunged into a hug.

“Thank you thank you thank you! I promise I will be a great student! What drink shall we have next?”

“Uuuuhm… I’ll whip something up,” Tom went, looking to Jacky from his prison. Jacky did not seem very pleased with the situation, and it didn’t seem Edita was letting go either. The artificer was laying half-limp across the table, Herron making a poor effort to conceal looking at the woman’s arse. Saph was making rude gestures at the guy while Balethon chuckled before he joined in with the staring too.

“Edita… you need to let go first. Maybe you should sit down again.” There was no immediate reply as he felt the woman go fully limp around him. “Uhm, Edita?” Then came the snore.

“Oh you’re kidding me,” Tom mumbled to himself, starting to ponder how to escape.

“And there’s the sugar down,” Balethon broke out laughing. “Want me to take her up to her room?”

“You will NOT!” Saph broke out with no small amount of fury, “And keep your eyes to yourself.”

“Huh?” Herron said, looking up at Saph, clearly not having been listening.

“Oh for the love of the gods. Jacky, give me a hand, will you?”

“With pleasure,” Jacky replied, standing up from next to Tom as the two of them set about prying the sleeping Edita off of him. Remarkably she didn’t actually wake up from that operation.

“She did have a rather long day I think,” Tom added, feeling the need to defend Edita a little. It was clear she was in way over her head, and they had sorta been pushing her into the deep end for the past several hours.

“Well hopefully it’s a long enough sleep that Paulin doesn’t get her precious artificer back drunk,” Jacky added, seeming less enthused.

“Yeaaaah… Oh Jacky when you’re uhm… done, I’ll meet you up stairs. We still have my stuff to go through. Just you and me, you know?” Tom went, putting a hand on her side as she hoisted Edita atop her shoulder, leaving Saph with nothing to do save looking mad at Herron and Balethon.

“I’ll see you up there then. And don’t eat it all before I get there.”

“I would never… Also, who said it was edible?“

__________________________________________________________________________________

“I mean honestly, they know she’s new to all this. Cut a woman some slack, you know what I mean?” Sapphire grumbled as she held doors open for Jacky, who was hauling the passed-out artificer. Not that she needed to. Jacky still had a hand free, but dammit she had said she would help and so she would. “And gawking at her like that, you offer someone a cloak or something in that situation, you don’t point and laugh.”

“Doesn’t seem like Edita cared much,” Jacky countered, sounding rather more disinterested. “She doesn’t seem to care much at all about what people think. Except for Tom that is.”

“Oh come now, don’t go growing all jealous now. She’s a nerd, not a threat.”

“She’d do anything for him. I’m not having that.”

“Well I’ll be honest here, I don’t think Tom is the sorta guy to go girl hunting. But he’s too nice to say no. I mean just look at him, he wasn’t comfortable down there? He wasn’t enjoying it. You can be damn sure Balethon would have been grinning like an idiot getting wrapped up like that.”

“Of course he would… But still, it’s damned annoying,” Jacky declared, lightly kicking the door open to Edita’s room, Sapphire having fallen behind.

“Well she needs to learn, and she seems to be struggling a bit with that. Might be something a bit wrong with her, you know?”

“What, you think being raised in secret and kept away from the rest of the world to only work away on what no one is allowed to know about might make you a bit weird in the head? No way,” Jacky replied with heavy sarcasm as she laid Edita down upon what passed for her bed. It was little more than a sleeping roll spread out on top of three large crates.

“You know, looking around in here…” Sapphire went, glancing about the dark room, looking for a candle or lamp, finding nothing. “It doesn’t look like a bedroom, does it?”

“It was a storage room before, still is now it would seem. Just for more expensive stuff.”

“Yeah… stuff,” Sapphire went, looking to the sleeping artificer. “That’s what she is… she’s just stuff.”

“What do you mean?” Jacky questioned, crossing her arms, only barely visible in the light from the dim halfway sneaking in.

“She doesn’t see herself as a person. She doesn’t even know what being a person means. She’s just a thing. Remember the old saying, ‘Dragons think everyone thinks like dragons?’ ”

“Yeah… what about it?” Jacky countered, though she sounded like she was catching on, at least slowly.

“She thinks of herself as a thing, and of course she thinks everyone else thinks like that too,” Saph concluded, feeling quite certain in her conclusions. “Why would a thing get mad someone touched their guy? Why would a thing balk at not having any personal space? Why would a thing ever care about relationships…”

“Riight… I think I’m following.”

“Okay, what I am saying is: You don’t need to worry, she’s not coming for Tom. She doesn’t even understand what she would be going after. Second, who else do we know who thinks of themselves as a thing?”

“Tom?” Jacky tried cautiously, clearly just taking a shot in the dark.

“Oh come on you bird brain, that’s not even a guess.”

“Uhm… Joelina.”

“Okay that’s not actually a bad call, but no we don’t care about her. Ray.”

“I mean I guess? But doesn’t she keep all those little things from her past and stuff? Seems quite person like to me. That and she definitely understands what a relationship is. And personal space.”

“I mean yeah… okay maybe Ray knows what a person is, but she doesn’t really think of herself like one does she? Well she is getting better. What I mean to say is, maybe Edita needs to have a chat with Ray a bit. Ray is learning. Edita desperately wants to learn. And you get to have Tom to yourself for a bit.”

“Riiiight,” Jacky went, slowly nodding. “You do know we are going back down below tomorrow, right?”

“Oh for the love of Itova!”

“Maybe if she stays the winter? Also where is your boy toy? Haven’t seen him much?”

“Oh he’s busy, I think. Said he had to do something.”

“This late in the evening while there are drinks and partying?” Jacky questioned, not sounding terribly convinced.

“Yeaaa, now you mention it… he’s definitely up to something.”

“Suprise maybe?”

“Possibly… but what kind?”

“I bet you he’s all cleaned up and ready to accept your gift,” Jacky chuckled, Saph feeling less amused.

“I’ll think of something for him, we’ve just been so busy.”

“I thought of something for Tom, it’s not that hard.”

“Oh yeah? What did you get him?” Saph questioned with a touch of defiance in her tone.

“A sauce for making things spicier. So he doesn’t have to use his own stuff. Should be like pure fire, ought to go a long way.”

“Shit that’s actually kinda thoughtful…”

“Mhmmm,” Jacky replied, nodding slowly, arms crossed. “Soo? You gonna get him a little wooden carving holding a sign saying ‘Sorry I forgot you’ or something?”

“Oh screw you. You know what, I’m gonna take a page out of your book. Trophy.”

“A trophy? Bit late for that, we’re fresh out of arsehole dragons… unless you count Yldril of course.”

“Nooo not a dragon. I’ll get him something small, hard to catch. Maybe a green backed falcon or something.”

“Pffff, good luck.”

“If anyone can catch it, it’s gonna be me… maybe with a shotgun.”

“Oh that’s cheating.”

“No it isn’t, it’s acquiring an insurmountable advantage against the local fauna. You know, like building a keep rather than a tree house.”

“Apuma said that line at some point right?” Jacky questioned, conceding the point.

“Probably… honestly can’t remember, the history of hunting told by the least hunter-like person ever never really stuck with me to be honest.”

“Me neither… speaking of hunting, is Tom back yet?”

Saph turned back towards the still open door and shrugged, “No clue, dude moves like a ghost most of the time.”

“All he’s got is a lack of claws, no clack clack clack.”

“Well he can walk without the claws touching without looking like an idiot and dragging his tail on the ground.”

“Yeah… Oooh, I have an idea.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

Tom had chatted a bit more with the guys at the table after Jacky and Sapphire had carried off Edita. It was mostly them cracking jokes about Edita being the greenhorn at the table. And, of course, the odd improper remark. Tom had left the table chuckling and shaking his head. Hoo boi, she was so smacking a few of them with a wrench when she sobered up.

‘Actually, she probably needs a retelling. I doubt she even cared what they did… is she even going to be mad actually?’ Tom pondered as he climbed the steps. ‘Shit, I probably need to actually tell her that shit like that is normally smack worthy… else she might just think that’s part of it or something. Jesus, let’s not let her get back to the capital and spread that notion amongst the others. If Joelina doesn’t kill me, some head prick in a shiny robe definitely will.’

When he arrived at the room he was surprised to learn that Jacky wasn’t there yet. Looking down the hall, he could see the door to Edita’s room ajar, and he could hear them chatting about something or another. He probably didn’t have long until they finished taking care of the artificer. Hopefully they were getting her some water and salt. ‘Wait no… they don’t get hangovers… fucking cheats,’ Tom chuckled to himself as he went inside, shutting the door behind him.

Just as promised by Vulzan, there indeed was a small-ish crate sitting in the center of the room. The locks were already removed.

‘Right then, how to do this?... treasure chest?... yeaaaaa,’ he concluded to himself, opening the crate and finding it packed with straw and many of the things wrapped in linens or some sort of stout parchment. He set about slowly unwrapping things bit by bit and placing them back down in the crate with the straw as a base for the items out on display.

There wasn’t much edible stuff, not really anything personally just for him. He had spent a bit of cash more so on messing about. He had wished to acquire a wealth of magically enchanted items and devices, but alas that was outside even his price range for now, unless he had wanted to spend most of what he had been given. As he rummaged through he did find the one thing he had been most excited for, a dark blue lacquered box with gold pinstriping and fine silver hingework. Opening it he found the solution to “What happens when the batteries give out” for his already aging night vision system, not to mention trying to replace a tube out here.

He opened the box to find a pair of what looked almost like old aviator goggles, the kind one might see a first world war fighter pilot wear, only with a rather larger and strangely shaped nose bridge in the middle. He had been quite worried they would not be able to modify the goggles to fit him, but if they were confident they could refit a whole suit of armor, then this should be trivial. If not, Jacky could always use a set he supposed.

He had not needed to order any dragon spit compounds. They had that situation well sorted already, but Vulzan had procured a rather simple device for him which he hoped might bring insight into how to fix their machinegun issue… Oh who was he kidding, he wanted a cool AF drinks mug. Vulzan had outdone himself on that one. The mug was white as ivory, though he didn’t actually know what it was made from, and it sported polished metal rims at the top and bottom. But the stand out feature was the metal peg in the middle of the mug with a screw-on lid. It rose up about two thirds of the way to the lip of the mug, and supposedly if you put frost powder and water in it, then it would keep whatever you were drinking cool.

“So simple, yet brilliant,” Tom chuckled, turning the mug over in his hands. Maybe he should have fetched it before this evening’s celebrations, but alas, it would likely only have been passed around and touched a dozen lips if he had. He placed it back into the crate, positioning it juuuust so.

Then he got out the little box with the earrings in it. He opened it up for the world to see and placed it down in the straw. He was very happy indeed with the result. The thin delicate golden strands holding a large many faceted teardrop-shaped emerald of a very dark green color.

Each gem was about the size of a fingernail, and with the low light it almost looked black, which was perhaps not quite optimal… maybe that was why Vulzan had seemed confused when Tom said he wanted a very nice pair and then asked for dark green.

“Lovely… actually hang on, didn’t he say something about a surprise? Something special… I ordered all this?” Tom pondered to himself before shrugging and going digging once more, moving the mug out of the way a bit.

As he reached the bottom of the hay, his fingers touched glass. He didn’t remember ordering anything in bottles, so that might be it, and there was more than one. As he fished it out, it proved to be a small flask with a wax sealed top and a small label. ‘Riiight… potion or condiment? Probably not even safe to test, is it?’ Tom pondered as he inspected the funny looking square sided bottle.

‘If it’s a potion then that’s just taunting, he knows I wouldn’t dare drink the stuff,’ Tom cursed to himself before he remembered that he probably hadn’t actually told Vulzan that his original purchase of potions had never been used. So all the trader knew was that he was quite excited when he first saw the potions way back in spring. ‘Ahr… well dammit.’

Tom put it down and went back to fishing, eventually coming up with three distinct, small, odd looking bottles. All three were very finely crafted, and one in particular contained a vivid red coloured liquid in a bottle that seemed to be cut crystalware. ‘Very fancy…’ Tom stuck his hand back into the crate to check if there was anything left hiding in the straw and to his surprise came back up with a small leather belt… or perhaps it was a bandoleer. He could certainly work out what the three form sewn pouches on it were for.

‘Riiight… oh a note.’ Within one of said pouches lay a folded up piece of parchment. Fishing it out and unfolding it, it was definitely for him. ‘Biiig blocky runes, spaced evenly… thanks Vulzan, but we got block letters for children, far better,’ he chuckled as he set about slowly deciphering what it said.

He held it up to the light of the lamp to get a better view, squinting against the slightly dull runes on the yellowish parchment.

“Dear… Tom… -So far so good- I know that receiving adi- additional gold… back… Likely would… serve… little purpose. -Yeah he’s kinda right about that- But the engi- engineering -uhm, thingy yes- insisted on… providing… payment. -Oooh yeah, forgot about that, wonder how that’s all going?- So I… Took… the liberty. Of.. acru-acquiring. -yees. I’m, getting good at this.- Something… for you. I think… You will like. PS, Business… is… booming.”

“Oh and here I thought he was being generous out of his own pocket,” Tom chuckled aloud, going to try to read the small labels to little avail. “Three for Jacky to read then… do I say I got them for her or…”

“Three what?” It came from behind him outside, the voice of Jacky carrying through the door. He spun around in surprise, not used to having people sneak up on him around here.

“Uhm… things”

“What things? You better not have started without me.”

“Uhm… nooo,” Tom replied very unconvincingly, glancing about the room littered with straw. He had yet to tidy up, and the contents of the crate in his hands were like chocolate around the mouth of a lying toddler, damning evidence of the crime committed.

“I think you might be lying, do I need to come in and check?” Jacky questioned in a bemused tone as Tom set about rapidly arranging the things on top of the straw in the crate.

“One moment please.”

He could hear Jacky huff in amusement from outside the door, but she did wait, at least long enough for Tom to make the various bits, semi-presentable. ‘I will have to skip the rose petals I guess.’ “Right, come on in.” Tom said, stepping to the side so she could see the crate nice and clearly.

Right on cue the door opened and Jacky stood ready to be amused by whatever he had been up to. “Right so what did you… hot damn, is that… are those? What did you give Vulzan?”

“Uuuhm. Just gold, but apparently those three are from the engineering place.”

“The engineering guild?”

“Yeah, that one. Remember the lighter and the pencils?”

“Dencils, but yeah. Don’t forget the wayfinders.”

“Oh yeah, mustn’t forget those.”

Jacky stepped inside, keeping her eyes affixed upon the crate. “And here I thought we had already gotten all of the treats of the day. Are those…? Well I’m guessing enchanted goggles of some kind, but different to Edita’s or the set Joelina got you.”

“Yeah. Night vision, supposedly.”

“But you already have that?” Jacky questioned, clearly confused by the purchase.

“Yeah I know, buuut, they won’t last forever. Buuuut until mine break, I was thinking maybe, those there were yours. Seeing as you don’t wanna leave me alone if ever there is fighting.”

“You’re kidding, you got those for me?”

“Yup, for now at least. Those though, they are yours for good,” Tom went, pointing at the small box with the earrings.

“You got me jewelry?” Jacky asked, seeming bemused once more and even having a chuckle. That wasn’t quite the reaction Tom had hoped for, but it could have been worse he supposed. She did pick them up and had a look at them, “How sweet, gold… nice,” she went, nodding a bit.

“Same color as your eyes,” Tom tried, as she looked them over.

“Are they? Huh… quite dark. You know with earrings like these maybe I should pitch in on that dress idea the others are talking about. They look like something from the ballroom.”

“I suppose they wouldn’t be out of place there no,” Tom agreed, watching as she put them back down again and picked up the potions instead.

“Now what have we got? Fire breathing, nice that makes two. Potion of strength… I guess we give this one to Sapphire,” Jacky concluded as Tom wondered if he should do anything. He elected not to look the gift horse in the mouth and just be happy Vulzan had done a better job of finding something she liked than he had.

She turned over the last bottle, with the funny red liquid in it and her eyes went just a little wide. “Holy shit man, it’s a healing potion.”

“A what now?” Tom let out, caught off guard by her exuberance.

“A healing potion, like the one Quin gave me down in the caves, remember? Oh this is so cool. Fuuuck, Rachuck is sooo gonna wanna steal this.”

“I mean… shouldn’t Nunuk or Unkai have it to be honest? Kinda their expertise.”

“No way man, I’m soo keeping this. That way I can stuff it down your gullet if you blow yourself up or something.”

“We don’t know if potions like that really work on me.”

“The one you had with the tea worked just fine, remember? I’m sure it’ll do just fine.”

“Oh yeah… I forgot about that,” Tom admitted, thinking back and starting to reconsider if maybe that potion of water breathing could work for him anyway somehow.

“Don’t get any funny ideas about the fire breathing though, I’m keeping those two and the healing one…” Jacky stated confidently before she seemingly had a realization. “Uhm… pretty please?”

“Oh right uhm… suure, just ask about the.. You know what, never mind. Keep those three, I’ll take the water breathing one. You never know when that might come in handy.”

“Yes!” Jacky broke out, doing a little hop and a fist pump. “Just don’t go planning on any midnight swims, okay? Especially not with Dakota.”

“Of course not… I’ll bring you instead.”

“Oooooh no you don’t.”