How Not to Be a Dark Lord

So, you know how I got kicked out? Yeah, that sucks and all, but you have to remember that I’m still important.

It’d be pretty bad to leave me lying about in the capital, and I think I’m probably going to be stabbed to death by some political enemies if word gets out about my removal.

Shortly after that happened, I was assigned a bodyguard to accompany me because of such a thing. I’m supposed to be exiled to… wherever. 

 

 

By the castle entrance, I could make out a strange girl standing by. Even though it was dark outside, one of the natural perks of being a gamer is being a creature of the night, making it easy to see where-

 

Bonk.

 

OW!! 

 

She was short and red-haired, dressed in all-black leathery clothing. A long brown cloak covered most of her body, and a purely white, crystalline mask covered her face, making her seem mysterious and deep. This is all very important, and I’ll quiz you later, so take notes.

 

In other words, she must be a very important character with superduper magic powers sealed under that mask…

 

She’s just like me, for real. 

 

I chuckled, grinning and striking a dramatic pose before her.

 

“I feel a powerful force emanating from you… perhaps have been born under the dog star, as well? It must be destiny that we meet today! Join me, and I shall show you a new world beyond your wildest imaginations!”

 

She looked… something. I can’t see anything with that mask in the way, okay?

I dunno. It seems like my aura isn't working for her.

 

“A-ah, I see… you’re testing me. You doubt my powers, yes? That is the reason why you did not accept my offer. B-but if you insist, I shall give a small demonstration of my abilities.”

 

I performed the classic thumb detachment magic trick that I learned in middle school, overplaying my emotions and making it look really painful. If you don’t know what that is, shame on you. Look it up.

“YEEOuCHHH!!! MY THUMB!!! IT’S SPLITTING APART!!!”

To make things even more intense, I pulled my thumb away slowly, so it really did look like my thumb had been separated. This is, naturally, all part of my plan to gain her trust.

 

“Are you convinced of my powers now?”

 

There was another moment of complete and utter silence until she lowered her mask so that I could see her eyes just for a moment to say a cool one-liner.

 

Damn. They’re crazy scarlet. It’s like looking at a ruby or something. I think I’m entranced. I was kinda worried that she would be some kind of old lady, but she’s just my age and possibly my type for real. Possibly.

 

“I can’t believe this is the idiot I have to protect... I hope someone stabs you in the back while my head is turned.”

 

???

 

I’m sorry, but did I do something wrong? Such a rude thing to say.

 

As much as I want to put this stuck-up brat in her place, she doesn’t seem like a side character. Indeed, I can tell from a glance that she could be a potential rival or love interest of sorts.

 

So anyway, this girl... uh… I don't actually know her name. I’ll just call her Scarlet for the time being (no reason why). She said some kind of phrase and emanated a crimson aura that started to swirl and swoosh and make all sorts of crazy movements around her, forming something solid. It's like, magic or something.

 

“Sparkling Red, Type II: Dashing Vermillion.”

 

Her clothes were now lightly plated with red armor, bulking up around her legs and upper body. The mask changed to fit the color scheme, and small wheels popped out of both her boots.

 

That’s crazy. A whole transformation sequence into some kind of mech thingy. It’s a whole ‘nother experience seeing it with my own eyes.

 

She grabbed me by the collar of my fancy white royal tunic. It’s a very nice material, I must say, so I understand the reason for wanting to feel it. All the frills and buttons add some kind of complexity, and paired with my completely dark pants, I think I fit the “casual nobility” look. Personally, I think a lighter shade would work better for my pants, considering the fact that I have light blue hair, so I’d rather keep things a bit minimal, but when-

 

ZOOM!!!

 

We zipped across the streets, swerving around lampposts and drunkards. It all looked like a blur to me. The acceleration was brutal, and I felt my face stretch out a bit. I couldn’t even scream if I wanted to.

 

But then, everything felt calm for just a moment. I opened my eyes. 

 

A cloudless sky and a full moon in sight.

 

The moment would’ve been beautiful if I hadn’t noticed that we were now airborne. 

 

“Sparkling Red, Type III: Ruby Angel.”

 

Scarlet seemed to have developed a new set of wings, carrying me with her boots that were now talons. 

 

It’s hard not to admire her elegance. In this light, she really does look like an angel.

 

“Boles Bose. Allow me to introduce myself properly. I am a renowned A-rank adventurer who specializes in assassination and protection, Red Scarlet.”

 

Wow, really? That's crazy. That's absolutely bonkers.

What can I say? This little brat is actually ultra-powerful and important. I was so right about her name being Scarlet, by the way, so that proves I have high deductive reasoning skills. 

 

Also, I need to praise this girl and gain her favor. Since she’s an A-rank adventurer, that must mean she’ll be a great mentor!

You see, this is very important to me because I must learn magic.

"Why?" you may ask? Let me enlighten you. Learning and using magic haphazardly and irresponsibly is a crucial part of every isekai experience, just like how you can't have a burger without bread. 

“Wowza! You’re super cool and strong! Is it possible for me to be like you one day?” 

My flattery was clearly working. This, of course, is all part of my plan. I’m talking about a plan that is so well-thought and hidden that even a genius like myself doesn’t even know a thing about it. The truth is locked within my subconscious, probably.

 

I can see it. I will soon have my main character arc in which this kid is my mentor but actually reveals herself to be centuries old and teaches me the art of some secret ancient magic, though that will, in turn, lure a super evil hidden organization, causing her to sacrifice herself to save me, which will fuel my growth and set my sights on vengeance, gradually unleashing the powers of my inner demon which will take control during the final battle, only to be quelled by the shouts of encouragement from the friends I will make along the way. The classic isekai experience.