Here, Have a Cookie a Pokemon Fanfiction

Wally was up first.

“Gwen, just finish things up with Aqua Jet.” Wally commanded, sounding bored.

Gwen pushed water out from her body and slammed into Nosepass.

He goes down and stays down.

It was about what I had expected. All three of us were... probably above the level of a one badge trainer. At the end of the day...

“Nosepass, return.”

Wally took it down and only lost Nimue.

He almost got the sweep. Three Pokémon, supposedly trained up to be an appropriate level for starting trainers, barely took down a water strider that had been with us for four days.

The gym trainer handed Wally a badge and the stock reward for clearing the gym, then bounced. No advice, no good job, and no banter. Just a detached intern, going through the motions.

That was what was standing between me and claiming my first badge.

How the hell was I supposed to get excited for this?

“I changed my mind. Give me the Onix. I can take him. Anything would be preferable to what I just went through.” Wally complained as he looked at his badge. “I don’t feel like I earned this. I feel like I just bullied a kid and took his lunch money.”

“How do you think I feel? I just watched that beatdown, and now I know what I have to look forward to.” I muttered.

Wally smiled consolingly.

“You two are being ridiculous. Take the freebie and run with it. Every badge after this is going to be a trial and a half, if my fight was anything to go by,” May said. “This is the first time I've ever heard someone complain about something being too easy.”

‘I’m not fighting fodder. Just an FYI. Pick someone else.,’ Emilie commented.

I groaned. ‘Dammit Emilie, Wally’s banter was distracting me. Now I'm thinking about the fight again!’

‘What if you added an extra bit of challenge to this? One vs three. Joern vs the world edition.’

‘I doubt very seriously if Joern would even break a sweat,’ I countered back, then turned toward Wally. “Ignore May, she got to have fun with Roxanne yesterday, she’s ignorant of our plight.”

Wally laughed. “You’re right, she can’t possibly grasp how we feel.” Wally nodded sagely.

“I don’t like that you two are ganging up on me. I’m just trying to lighten the mood a bit.” May pouted adorably.

“Lea, you’re up.” The ref shouted from the arena, and I made my way down. Not having anyone else in the stands made this a bit more informal.

I did my best to not let that little bit of information get to me.

Another person filtered into the arena. He stared toward the stands longingly, and for a second, I actually thought I might have a spectator, but my hope was crushed the second he walked to the other side of the arena.

This was my punching bag. Got it.

“This will be a three-on-three match between Lea and Gym Trainer-”

“Can we just cut to the chase, I want to get this over with, I know the rules already and none of them are going to matter.” I talked over the ref.

“I... Fine. Both of you throw out your first Pokémon.” Even the Ref looked bored.

I tossed out Joern’s ball, and...

“Geodude.” Was the war cry of my opponent.

Yup. I Called it. Do I even need to- wait, yup, Joern’s already dancing.

“Geodude, use defense curl, then go into a Rollout.”

Holy crap this gym trainer has a plan! He’s already leagues above the last guy. I smirked as familiar rain clouds started to form. Seeing them inside was... exceedingly weird, but I couldn’t help but laugh as both my opponent and the ref glared my way. I opened my umbrella as the first rain drops started to fall.

Geodude was already almost on Joern.

“Water Pulse,” I commanded.

Joern finished dancing on a jump over the rolling boulder and slammed his fist into the ground. A wave of water exploded out in every direction, swelling massively in the rain before slamming into Geodude.

He was out cold.

“Winner, Joern. Will the gym trainer please send out their next Pokémon.” The ref called out.

“Return.” My opponent was still gaping at what had just happened to his Pokémon and nervously looked down at his next poke ball. “Geodude, you’re up.”

Oh, come on. This is just-

Wait a minute.

My tirade stopped at the new fight in front of me. Electricity pulsed in the air as this new, unique looking Geodude took center stage. His mustache cutting a rather distinguished look on an otherwise plain looking rock.

“Begin,” The ref called.

“Rock Polish.”

And that was a surprise as well. Geodude’s skin shined. I didn’t really understand the mechanics of why shiny skin made rocks faster, but that might be an issue.

“Now Thunder Punch.”

“Razor leaf, spread pattern. Make him pay for every inch of ground he tries to gain.”

Geodude’s fist crackled with power as he was pelted by a barrage of sharp leaves. I smiled as he seemed to be pushing through, and he was on Joern in seconds.

“Catch the fist.” I knew this wasn’t the best idea. Thunderpunch wasn’t exactly something to take lightly, but I wanted to test something.

Not to mention if it worked this would probably scare my opponent something fierce.

Joern lazily raised his left hand and grabbed Geodude’s Thunder Punch. I could tell Joern felt this hit, but he stood his ground. The Geodude gaped as Joern held what was probably his strongest attack back with one hand.

“Now, Scary Face.” I smirked as Emilie groaned.

‘Seriously, you’re using the gag move in a serious battle?’ Emilie complained.

Joern glared malevolently at the Geodude, fist still in hand.

“Geodude, don’t let yourself be intimidated. Thundershock.” The gym trainer said desperately.

His Geodude ignored him and leaned further away from Joern.

‘Calling this a serious fight is a bit much, don’t you think?’ I asked back.

Joern leaned forward, getting closer to the terrified rock type. He leered down at him with a look that promised death and suffering, before opening his mouth.

“Lom.”

I had never seen a Pokémon recall itself before. I didn’t know they COULD do that.

“Geodude has left the arena. Please send out your final Pokémon.”

I smiled as water began to pool in Joern’s leaf. Whatever damage that Thunder Punch had done was quickly being undone, as my opponent shouted bloody murder at both the ref and his poke ball.

“Send out your last victim already,” I shouted. I knew the smart thing was to let my opponent be an idiot. To milk Rain Dish for free heals and ignore my opponent as he was being an idiot, but at this point, I wanted this farce to just be over and done with. I half thought Emilie’s suggestion would at least make this somewhat challenging, but Joern was way tougher than anything this man had brought to bear so far.

“Ugh... fine. Nosepass, go.” My opponent just sounded resigned.

I understood, Joern still looked fresh, and he was on his last mon.

“Rock tomb.”

Four walls formed around Joern, and I couldn’t help but notice the rock wall was a lot thinner and weaker than yesterday’s.

“Don’t even worry about it Joern, blow the damn thing away. Water Pulse.” The structure exploded outwards as another water shockwave pushed out into the typhoon. Nosepass had nowhere to go.

“Nosepass is unable to battle, Challenger Lea is the victor.”

That didn’t feel like a damn fucking victory. I had already started walking around to the other side. I didn’t even recall Joern.

In all my fantasies about earning my first gym badge, this curb stomp against a random league employee had never crossed my mind. My hands clenched into fists as I made my way across, and my blood boiled in my veins as I stared at the imposter that had robbed me of my first proper gym battle. He shrunk away from my glare.

“I... uh, good match. Heh, you’re really... REALLY strong for your level.”

And you’re exceedingly weak for yours, glad we had this chat.

“Here, your badge and the standard winnings for beating the gym. You’ve earned it.”

“No, I haven’t.” I stood completely still, unwilling to take the shiny little trinket. Calling this a badge right now felt like an insult. “Were we really watching the same battle?”

“I-” Stop talking.

“I came here for a challenge.” I coldly declared. “Did that look challenging? Hell, Wally and I beat your asses so hard that we finished BEFORE my scheduled start time!” My eyes bore into...

God, I don’t even know his name.

“Listen, I understand you’re upset, but-”

“When is the earliest opportunity I would be able to fight Roxanne?” I asked. The gym trainer was still holding out my ‘prize’, probably hoping I would just take it and leave.

“Why would you...? Look, just take the damn badge. Roxanne is either booked solid or has duties at the Pokémon trainer’s school. She’s not just going to drop everything to cater to some kid throwing a temper tantrum.”

Holy crap he found his balls.

“If you for whatever reason want too, you can book another appointment with the front desk, but you’re not guaranteed anything. People with badges always fight the gym leader. You can bully Brawly in Dewford. Just take the badge and leave me the hell alone!” he shouted.

I looked up at the clock and realized something.

“Huh, there’s an idea...” And probably not the one this schmuck is thinking of, considering he’s sagging in relief. I reached out and grabbed the badge. “So, to clarify, people with a badge always fight the gym leader?” I asked.

“Right, thank you for-”

“I formally challenge the Rustboro Gym.” I smirked. “I believe I have an appointment for today at noon.” My grin widened even further as the minute hand and the hour hand met on the clock.

My appointment was right now.

“Well, where’s the gym leader?” I asked the dumbfounded trainer. “I have a badge. It was given to me by a league sanctioned trainer, though how he got that job I'll never know.”

‘Maybe ease up a little bit?’ Emilie asked.

‘I came here for a gym challenge. I’ve dreamed of finally earning my first badge for YEARS.’

‘Yeah, well, it’s not his fault that you fought him, so don’t be mean. You’re acting like those people you used to complain about to Eve. I think you called them Karens?’ Emilie asked. My blood ran cold, and I slowly turned to give Emilie a look that promised pain.

‘Don’t ever-’

“You’re insane, you know that right?” The gym trainer pulled me out of my private conversation and stared at me in unbridled disbelief.

“All I want to do is fight a gym leader.” I said, easing up on the vitriol a bit.

“You do realize you’ll be going against a one-badge team if you do this, right?” The gym trainer explained. “And for every badge after that, you’ll be punching up a level if you win. You still need eight different badges to qualify for the conference you know.”

My eyes widened in excitement.

“That. Sounds. AMAZING!” I shouted in glee, feeling genuine joy for the first time since walking into this arena.

“You’ll functionally have to earn your eighth badge TWICE! I know it doesn’t sound hard after what you just did to my team, but there is a world of difference between here and there. Please don’t do this!” he begged.

“Meh, if I can beat one, I can beat two. At any rate, I'm here for my appointment.” I smirked. “Where’s Roxanne?”

“Are you completely out of your MIND!” May screamed as we walked toward the Pokémon trainer’s school.

Wally looked equally pissed, and to be honest, the angry eyes with the respirator were a very intimidating look. If I could feel fear, I would probably be moderately worried about getting force choked right now.

“I don’t see what the big deal is. I wanted to fight Roxanne, and now I'm fighting Roxanne,” I said.

“You- I underestimated your mental handicap. I realize that now. I didn’t think your inability to process fear would make you into the world’s biggest MORON!” May screamed. “Apparently, I need to be with you every second of every day to make sure you don’t sign off on something this colossally stupid.”

“Wait, what do you mean-”

“NOT NOW!” May shouted at Wally.

The poor kid stopped and started backing away from May instantly.

“You know, I was kind of hoping for a bit of support from my friends.” I sniffed. “This is supposedly going to be a very harrowing experience. One that I'm not getting talked out of.”

“Lea...” May just sounded done. “FINE! You want support, I’ll be the most supportive fucking best friend on the face of the earth!” Her tone really didn’t match what she was saying. “And I’m recording this so you better win.”

“Lea, we’re just... slightly concerned. It’s not that we don’t have faith in you. It’s that we DO.” Wally explained. “To an extent.”

“You’re going to kick ass here, you’ll probably kick ass against Brawley, and then we’ll get to Mawville and never fucking leave.” May explained exasperatedly.

“Well, if we were going to get stuck some place for a while...” Wally hedged nervously.

“We’re here.” I sing songed over them.

The Trainer’s School was massive, and I don’t know why that thought shocked me. It would make sense that this place would be big enough for all the kids in Rustboro, but I was just used to the tiny little single classroom we had in Petalburg. I pushed into the reception area and...

Roxanne was already here.

“May, when you told me your friends were eager to fight me yesterday, you failed to mention how much,” Roxanne complained, though I couldn’t help but notice she didn’t seem annoyed or angry. She had a smile on her face. “You’re Lea, right? The girl who swept my gym trainer, then called him an embarrassment to his field.”

“Er... yup. That’s me. Though I never used the word embarrassment...” Roxanne smirked.

“I’m using it then. He got swept. If nothing else, this little episode has shown me that I need to step up my trainers’ training. At any rate, our arena’s this way. We’ll be squaring off in an exhibition match in front of a bunch of kids, so no swearing, lewd language, hand gestures, etc.” Roxanne capped off. “Basically, act professional, set a good example, and bow out gracefully when you lose.”

“I’m not losing.”

“Keep that attitude of yours for the fight, and maybe you won’t. Doubt it though,” Roxanne said.

‘I want to punch her in the face.’ Emilie commented.

‘I think May did too, so get in line.’

“Er... where are we supposed to go, by the way?” Wally asked. “Do the stands have a different entrance, or...”

“The kids from my classes have more or less claimed all available seating. Grab a couple chairs on the way, if you want. You’ll be hanging out around Lea in the auditorium.”

Packed house? Holy shit, I can lord this over May and Wally for weeks.

“At any rate, please, this way.” Roxanne turned and walked confidently through the hall.

We followed.

“So, how exactly did you manage to get this set up this quickly?” May asked. “Lea wasn’t exactly reasonable in her requests, we legit came here straight from the gym.”

Roxanne snorted as I gave May a somewhat halfhearted glare.

“This is hardly the first time I've had to take a battle on campus.” She tossed me a look. “Though it is the first time someone’s demanded a round cause their actual battle was too easy.”

I blushed.

“I honestly respect that,” Roxanne said.

My mouth dropped in shock.

“I... really?” I asked.

“Big time. You know how many people in this city randomly decide to half ass a badge attempt every year? Even the good ones are marginally happy to just take a badge if they beat one of my trainers, hang it up in their living room, and call it a day. Hell, May here probably would’ve been overjoyed to smack around one of my minions.” Roxanne tossed a smile toward my friend. “Ain’t that right?”

“No comment.” May looked away.

“Right,” Roxanne answered condescendingly.

Now I wanted to punch her. I’m the only one that can do that to May.

“Oy, May kicked your ass, you don’t get to throw shade,” I argued.

“Yeah, yeah. This also gave me an excuse to avoid doing lectures all day. I love hands on displays like this, but the headmaster here insists on doing things in a more traditional setting. It’s enough to put me to sleep some days.”

So, I'm functionally her excuse to blow off work. Great.

“Er... by the way. Were you the same girl that dropped off the tin of cookies yesterday?” Roxanne asked.

“Er... yes?” I muttered; cheeks flushed a bit.

“Do you have more?”

I blinked twice, before sighing and reaching into my bag. Roxanne greedily grabbed my offering.

‘Now this, is more like it.’ Emilie commented.

I nodded in agreement.

Nothing quite beat the roar of a crowd. Even if they were only kids, this felt amazing. I noticed Sergei floating around as I stared across the field toward Roxanne. The arena was a bit bigger than the one in the gym, and there were quite a few more stones and rock formations. I noticed Roxanne nod toward the ref, and he raised both flags.

“This will be a three-on-three match between Gym Leader Roxanne and Challenger Lea. There will be no time limit, and neither party will be allowed to switch without the use of a move.”

THAT was different. So once a mon was in, they were in. I wondered what moves allowed someone to switch.

“Will both trainers please select their Pokémon.”

The best bet for a lead was still probably Joern. Heh, maybe he’ll go six for six. Roxanne pulled a poke ball up.

“Both trainers ready?”

We nodded.

“Begin.”

“Onix, center stage.”

“Joern, let’s continue your streak.” We both shouted, and I laughed as I looked up to see a very familiar-looking face.

“I knew it! I knew that Onix wasn’t approved for me you-Mffhmmf"

Wally did his best to gag the now irate May as I stared up at a towering behemoth. This thing fought Bulbasaur to a draw. I needed to be careful, and Joern is already dancing...

You could at least wait for my orders!

“Stealth Rock, Onix.”

Roxanne started her fight with me the same way she started her fight with Bulbasaur. Honestly, I liked how that worked for May, so...

“Leech Seed, Joern. Make him pay for it,” I ordered with a smile.

“And of course, you know that damn move as well,” Roxanne grumbled.

Joern didn’t even stop dancing, he just worked the customary swish of his leaf into his moves. I grinned as storm clouds started to form, and vines started to work their way into Onix at the same time. I pulled up my umbrella, paused, and looked on in confusion. Unlike in the gym, the clouds were contained to being directly over the arena and didn’t go beyond the psychic barrier. Roxanne’s eyes widened as she saw a few drops of water start to fall from the ceiling.

“Dammit!”

And you want to talk to me about swearing in front of kids? Really?

“Onix, Bind. Stop it from dancing. It pulled a fast one.”

Onix quickly moved toward Joern and wrapped its body around him. Too little, too late. The rain started to fall.

“Absorb.”

I loved having more than one grass type in the group now. Joern looked moderately uncomfortable, but between Leech Seed, Rain Dish, and Absorb, I think Joern was passively healing for more than Onix could squeeze away.

“Slam. Throw him as hard as you can.” That, however, might be a problem.

Onix tossed Joern across the stadium and he slammed headfirst into the barrier. He slid down slowly and laid face down in the dirt for a second before raising his head and turning his glare toward Onix.

“Lom.” Lombre shook his head a bit and sent a cocky smirk at his opponent before thumping his chest.

I smiled at the show of bravado.

“Water Pulse. Hit him hard,”

I shouted. Joern once again raised a ball of water over his head before slamming it down, the attack becoming a massive wave in this storm that submerged the lower half of Onix in a somewhat muddy sludge. My eyes bulged a bit as the water actually pushed Onix backwards a bit.

The attack slowly subsided, and the water slowly started to sink into the ground. I idly wondered how the hell this place wasn’t flooding at this point, but the arena probably had SOMETHING in place for rain.

And tidal waves. Wait, seriously. What the-

‘Focus,’ Emilie yelled in my mind.

Right. Battle happening right now.

Credit where it was due, this Onix was the first Pokémon to stay conscious through one of those. He didn’t look great, but he was up. Roxanne gritted her teeth.

“Okay, you have no right calling my trainers weak. That thing is a menace to society,” Roxanne complained.

I smiled. “His name is Joern, and he’s just a menace to you right now.”

“Not for much longer. Onix, Explosion.”

“What!?” I shouted.

Onix glowed orange as power violently pushed out from every part of him. A loud bang echoed off the walls and the arena lit itself ablaze, the power forcing stones to uproot themselves and the air to smell of molten earth and ash, and almost as soon as it had begun, it ended. Smoke billowed from the arena as I hesitantly pulled up Joern’s poke ball. About five seconds after the fact, the rain started to beat down the smoke, revealing a pair of Pokémon that were both on the ground, unmoving.

“Both Pokémon are un-”

“BRE!” Lombre shouted, shifting his head to the side and glaring angrily at the ref. He nudged his arm against the ground, and slowly forced his slightly charred body to stand, his skin getting less ashen as he slowly lifted himself-

I just noticed the vines coming out of Joern’s feet that were dug into the ground. Smart man.

“Joern, you’re completely unbelievable.” I smiled in relief at the seemingly impossible just becoming possible. Unfortunately, the ref is quick to recover and keep the battle moving. I was hoping to give Joern a bit more time to take in the rain.

“Onix is unable to battle. Gym leader Roxanne, please send out your second Pokémon.”

Roxanne still looked shellshocked as she hesitantly raised her Poke Ball and recalled Onix.

“I... This is going to take a specialist to deal with. Lileep, come on out.” A... planter formed in the middle of the stage. A potted plant with eyes bent over and stared intently at me. I didn’t recognize this thing at all, but whatever it was, it creeped the hell out of me.

“Ingrain. Let’s set up shop.” Great, a grass rock type. That’s annoying. At least it wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

“I know you’re tired, but Water Gun. We can’t use our usual tricks against this thing.” I didn’t want to push Joern with a Water Pulse.

Joern nodded and weakly raised his head and opened his mouth as several vines extended out from Lileep’s base. Roxanne didn’t even give him an order as a jet of water slammed right into Lileep, and was quickly absorbed into it.

Uh oh.

“Thanks for the meal, we appreciate it. Lileep, Ancient Power.”

Several large stones rose up from the floor, and the move I had grown to despise over the course of the last few days was sent out with an absurd amount of force. A single boulder slammed into Joern, and he was sent flying backwards, breaking through a tall rock before rolling several times, finally stopping once he hit the psychic barrier.

He didn’t get back up. The ref waited a few seconds and lifted a flag towards Roxanne.

“The challenger’s Lombre has been defeated. Please send out your second Pokémon.” The ref called out.

“Good work, Joern. That was my screw up.” I lifted his ball and returned him before glaring across the field. “That’s a nasty little surprise.”

“Thanks! Anyone with a working brain knows what’s good against rock types. Lileep here turns conventional wisdom on its head and turns those weaknesses into strengths. Once trainers have earned their first badge, we like to get a little more innovative with the teams.” Roxanne smirked. “Good on you for realizing the typing. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to dock a few points on not knowing the ability. I also love the weather warfare. I usually don’t see trainers bust that out till badge three. But you’ll have to step up your battle tactics even more if you want to beat me.”

“Yeah, well here’s stepping it up. Apollo, on deck.” Apollo formed in the air, already flying.

‘Ahoy, Captain.’ I smiled at the casual greeting, happy that my waterfowl wasn’t worried about the rock type below him.

“Wingull vs Lileep. Begin!” White rocks launched themselves out towards Apollo as the ref lowered his flags.

“Dodge with Aerial Ace.”

The rocks collided in open air as Apollo disappeared in a hum of sound and slammed into Lileep before Roxanne could even open her mouth.

“Wing Attack on the retreat.”

If Joern was anything to go by, I needed to hit this thing hard, fast, and without mercy if I wanted to win.

“Rock Blast. Don’t let it get away unscathed.” Apollo cried out in victory as he rapidly slammed a glowing wing into Lileep on his ascent, the rock volley going wide as Apollo flew circles around the attack.

“Gonna have to be a little faster than that.” I taunted. “Now, Air Cutter.” I shouted out the new move with vigor. Aqua Ring might have been a bust, but Apollo had apparently already been working on something in his own time to shore up his ranged options.

Apollo beat a wing forward and a single wind sickle cut through the sky and hurtled towards the planter.

“Ancient Power.”

Stones once again rose out of the ground and circled Lileep. The attack acted as both a shield for Lileep, and a cannon, ready to fire. She pushed them out with thankfully a bit less force than when she attacked Joern.

“Evasive maneuvers, then hit him with another Aerial Ace.” This would be two. Apollo probably had another three left in him. Endurance training really was paying dividends. I also couldn’t help but thank Noland for preparing me for attacks like this. This Lileep had nothing on his Mawile.

The second Aerial Ace made contact, and I groaned. Lileep was still ingrained. I know I was dealing more damage than he was healing off, but Apollo’s speed and strength were sadly still on a timer. I needed to deal with this.

“Air cutter. Close range. Target his roots,” I shouted.

“Don’t let him. Rock Tomb.” Is she insane!?

“Pull up! Now!” I shouted.

Apollo converted the force from his Air Cutter to send himself up, managing to pull off the attack while evading the pyramid that had formed around Roxanne’s own Pokémon. What kind of whack job hits their own Pokémon with... wait, how the hell do I break through that? Fuck.

“Air cutter that pyramid. Make it come out. Don’t give it any time to breathe,” I ordered. I refused to let her dictate the pace of this fight.

The concentrated wind blast slammed into the pyramid, but the structure only cracked.

“Again.”

More cracks, but still not enough.

“Fine, blast it down. Aerial Ace.” Three.

The structure imploded as Apollo slammed into it, and I noticed Lileep looking shell shocked as Apollo exploded out the other end. Apollo was breathing heavily, but we couldn’t let up. “Now. Hit and run tactics. Wing attack.” Apollo nodded and started to dive bomb Lileep once again.

“Ancient power, don’t worry about hitting him, just keep him away from you,” Roxanne ordered. Dammit all.

“Abort hit and run. Legends above, is this what people feel like when they’re dealing with Joern? Air Cutter, and dodge obviously, that goes without saying, though.”

The boulders sailed through the air, and Apollo once again made it a point to show how hard he was to hit. The hit and run turned into multiple Air cutters, but that was fine. If we were still making progress forward, that would be good enough for me. Lileep was finally starting to look tired, and cuts, bruises, and welts were appearing faster than they were fading. Roxanne looked like she was at a loss before giving me a wicked grin.

“Confuse Ray.” Ah, yeah that was destined for failure. I didn’t even bother acknowledging the bright multicolored rave party that Lileep launched from his head.

Apollo didn’t either.

“Aerial Ace.”

Roxanne seemed thrown off at the lack of response, and I smirked in victory. Fourth time was the charm, and Lileep was ripped from the ground as Apollo made contact, its roots getting torn as it was slammed a solid five feet into the air before it hurtled back down to earth with a resounding thud.

“Lileep is unable to battle. Will the gym leader please send out her final Pokémon.” Roxanne frowned as she pulled out her poke ball and recalled Lileep.

“Excellent strategy, but I’m going to have to dock points for forgetting about Apollo’s ability.” I threw her words back at her.

“Like Hydration is a common ability,” Roxanne snarked back. “That is one of the best trained Wingull I’ve ever seen. You’ve done an excellent job with him.” She lifted her final poke ball. “Now then, Nosepass. We’ve got some work to do.”

“Is... this the same Nosepass from yesterday?” I asked, noticing the small crack on his side.

“Er... maybe.” Roxanne shuffled in place and looked away awkwardly.

“THAT B-HMMF"

“May, you will not go on a swearing tirade in front of a room full of children. Calm the hell down!” Wally shout-whispered at May as he, once again, attempted to gag her.

“That Anorith you used yesterday was for one badge trainers and up too, wasn’t it!?” I questioned accusingly, now moderately upset on my friend’s behalf.

“She won, didn’t she? Calm down.” Roxanne brushed me off. “Ref, start the damn match already.”

“Er... right. Nosepass vs Wingull. Begin.”

“Magnet Rise.” Roxanne shouted. I noticed the rain was starting to stop as it rose into the air.

“Refresh the rain, Apollo,” I ordered. I couldn’t let the rain stop if Emilie was going to have any kind of chance of dealing with this thing. I doubted Apollo had the stamina or strength to finish it off. Water started pushing itself out of Apollo’s wings, and he flew up to the rafters. The clouds that had started to fade came back with a vengeance.

“Shock wave.” Roxanne ordered with a malevolent grin.

Damn it all. The current reached out and tracked Apollo’s location.

“Aerial Ace, one last time!” I shouted. Apollo couldn’t dodge the current, but he did manage to blast through the worst of it and slammed into the floating Moai head.

It didn’t even flinch.

“Rock Blast,” Roxanne ordered.

Exhausted, up close, and slightly deep fried, Apollo faced the attack without flinching. He was blown backwards by the rocks and landed int a heap in a pile of rubble. He didn’t get back up.

“Wingull is unable to battle. Will the challenger please send out their final Pokémon.” I looked out across the battlefield at the giant floating nose and felt a laugh bubble up. May was right, this had to be one of the goofiest looking Pokémon out there.

‘You ready?’ I asked Emilie. ‘I think this qualifies as ‘Not fodder’.’

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m going, I’m going.’ Emilie stretched a bit before hopping down from my shoulder and walking into the arena.

The Ref looked at me, and I realized I hadn’t said anything out loud.

“Emilie will be my last Pokémon, sorry,” I explained awkwardly, scratching the back of my head.

The ref nodded.

“Then this will be the final round. Nosepass vs Emilie. Begin.” Emilie teleported out of the way of the Stealth Rocks.

“Why do all of your Pokémon have an easy way to dodge that! They’re supposed to be hard to avoid!” Roxanne shouted in annoyance.

I ignored her.

‘Focus the rain. Drench him.’ Emilie’s eyes glowed and the rain started to pool in on the focus point that was Nosepass.

“What the fu-dge.” Roxanne corrected herself at the last minute. “Nosepass, I know it’s hard, but grit your teeth and deal. Rock Tomb.”

‘Duck, then teleport on my mark,’ I ordered.

The stone pyramid formed as it had so many times in this fight already.

“Now, Ancient Power.” And there’s the one-two punch I was expecting.

‘Teleport now.’ I ordered a second before the attack made contact, and I sent a mental image of where I wanted her to go.

The rock coffin was blasted away to no effect.

‘Ready to go on the offensive yet?’ I asked.

‘Always. Emilie punch.’ Emilie pulled a bunch of water into a single point and started to shape it.

A pair of water fists formed in front of her. She jabbed out from behind Nosepass and the floating boxing gloves responded in kind, slamming into the Nosepass with an explosive amount of force.

“Alright, if I had known May was besties with a budding psychic prodigy, I would’ve just cleared my whole schedule yesterday,” Roxanne complained. I smirked.

Well, at the rate I’m going according to Emilie, that may as well be true at this point.

“I’ll just accept your blatant favoritism as the highest of praise,” I responded.

“Yeah, well teleport away from this. Rock Slide!” Nosepass stopped floating and slammed into the ground, forcing stones up and pushing them out at a blistering, almost continuous pace.

‘Teleport above him, now!’

Emilie disappeared.

“Switch to Smackdown, she’s above you,” Roxanne commanded.

I winced as Emilie got smacked, hard, into the ground. “Rock Blast, don’t let it get away.”

‘Teleport again.’ Fuck I hated how passive I was being right now. Nosepass wasn’t giving us any room to breathe. Emilie disappeared again, this time taking refuge behind a newly formed rock pile.

‘As an FYI, Smackdown hurts like a bitch,’ Emilie complained.

‘Think you can handle making the Emilienator?’ Emilie groaned.

‘I told you to stop calling it that,’ Emilie said.

I could feel the pout through the link.

‘I’ve gotten better since Petalburg. I think it should be fine.’ Water pooled itself to Emilie’s hiding place.

“Shockwave.” Roxanne called out.

I groaned as the electricity homed in on Emilie’s location.

‘Short it out with the rain.’ Water condensed around the current and the electricity fizzled as the water vaporized.

‘I want you to know that that’s way harder than I made it look.’ Emilie whined as more water began to collect around her.

“I don’t like the look of this, Magnet Rise, then Lock on,” Roxanne said.

Oh, I didn’t like the sound of that at all. Whatever was coming, we needed to overpower it. I wasn’t even sure if Teleport would trip up Lock on.

“Now, Power Gem.”

A single glowing orb formed in front of Nosepass as he raised both of his hands and the attack launched at an absurd speed.

‘Smack it out of the air,’ I commanded.

And the hulking mass of water complied and slammed one of its fists into the attack, batting it into the ground with enough force to make a small crater. I whistled.

“Alright, that’s a new one,” Roxanne said, looking at the crater with a small amount of worry. “Rock Slide. Don’t let it get close.”

‘Think you can swing teleporting yourself and the water construct?’

‘...if I black out, I'm making it a point to throw up on your shoes again. It should be a bit easier though, cause it’s not a living creature.’

Nosepass once again slammed into the ground.

‘Do it. Now!’

Emilie disappeared with an audible hum this time, and I noticed a bit of liquid fall to the ground. Not enough to worry about though. The cascade of boulders once again sailed through open air, missing their target completely.

“Smack down!” Roxanne shouted the second Emilie disappeared.

Emilie brought both hands above her and brought the attack down into Nosepass’s uppercut, and the resulting shockwave echoed out across the arena. Nosepass buckled under the force of all the water and Emilie’s psychic field, and the water construct rushed downwards slamming into the prone Moai head and forcing it down into the arena. Water exploded downward, boulders, rocks, and mud were swept outward by the force, and in all the chaos I lost track of both Nosepass and Emilie.

“Nosepass?” Roxanne shouted.

I noticed a tinge of worry in her voice. Guess I wasn’t the only one who lost track of their Pokémon in that.

‘Emilie?’ I asked, worriedly. I didn’t hear a response. “Emilie?” I asked aloud.

A single green head came into view as she jumped on top of an unmoving boulder. And my body sagged in relief as she shot me a cocky grin and gave me a thumbs up.

I felt my lips pull into a grin as I noticed that the single, unmoving boulder she was standing on was, in fact, Nosepass.

‘We did it.’ Emilie smiled, and my brain took a second to process.

“Nosepass is unable to battle.” The ref raised his flag toward me, and I suddenly felt a bit light-headed. “Challenger Lea wins.”

‘Holy shit we WON!’