Her True Form

Volume 5 Chapter 1



Yvette opened her eyes, or at least they felt like her eyes. Well, she opened one eye. Or whatever phoenixes had instead of eyes. Being a living storm in the shape of a great bird of prey made the notion of an eye a bit stranger to her. She’d transformed into many different creatures over the years, many of which had different ways of interacting with and being aware of their surroundings. This new form managed to put all of them, aside from perhaps the troll, to shame.

Still, she was able to ‘see’ the world so she’d go with eyes for now. Perhaps if she ever managed to fix her form and had a chance to discuss it with another mage of the association, without them trying to kill her, they’d be able to come up with a better word for it.

For now she looked around. The roof they were camping on was getting crowded again, but that wasn’t what woke her up. It seemed Prince Curcel wasn’t having the best news this morning. That was fine with her, but she wished he would keep it down.

This is a mockery,” Curcel yelled, waving a hand towards her. “I return with my head held high and a phoenix at my beck and call and this is what I’m given?”

She couldn’t hear what the man he was talking to said, nor Curcel’s response as his tone had softened considerably. Judging by the way he stormed towards them, whatever else was said wasn’t good.

Heathens, prepare yourselves or be tossed from this roof. We’re leaving,” Curcel said bitterly, his voice quivering with rage.

You’re in a fine mood this morning,” Gervas said.

Don’t you talk back to me. Do as your told or you WILL be tossed to the ground below,” Curcel said, his voice filled with fury.

You’ve been threatening that since the first day we met,” Gervas said.

Just be prepared, heathens,” Curcel said before looking to her. “”Oh great Phoenix,”” he said, speaking with true name magic once more. “”Soon, your grand eminence will be revealed to all. We make for the capital at once, where your devout and loyal followers will give you the riches your divine form deserves.””

Wait, what?” Gervas asked. “The capital? Now? I thought you were intending to--”

Dogs should hold their barking when their masters are present,” Curcel said bitterly, before turning and storming off.

You shouldn’t antagonize him,” Nautia said before she slowly climbed to her feet. The mermaid was looking far worse for the wear than Gervas, her skin beginning to dry out from the sun.

So long as we have Yv… so long as he needs that phoenix, we’ll be fine,” Gervas said. “Honestly, he’s the one I’m least worried about.”

Why?” Nautia asked.

He needs us,” Gervas said. “Lots of other people here don’t. People who might be happy if he doesn’t have a phoenix at his beck and call.” He glanced towards Yvette. “We’ll figure it out though, somehow.”

Yvette felt a small moment of annoyance at being considered at the beck and call of anybody. She was the storm now and she’d be damned if they believed they could control her. At the same time she couldn’t help being worried that Gervas could be in real danger, if someone thought the only way to keep her out of Curcel’s control was to hurt him, how could she protect him?

Yvette could feel the two sides of her once again arguing over what they had to do. For now she felt mostly like the mage, but it was still a delicate balance and she felt like she might fall if she let herself slip for a moment. She almost wished it really was a fight between her two sides, rather than this delicate argument. It would be a lot easier to see which side was winning and by how much, then.

------

Below she could see the procession moving across the land, a small army. So many she couldn’t even see Gervas or Nautia amongst them. Curcel’s soldiers seemed able to keep the peace, but she doubted that would last forever if something didn’t change. It had been a long, long time since a phoenix had flown through these lands and it was attracting all kinds of followers.

A part of her, the phoenix side, felt it was only natural. She was the storm, she should be revered. The other side of her, the mage, couldn’t help feeling that this was all a massive lie and the sooner they managed to get away the better. The Reborn Empire was not a good place for her and if they found out she wasn’t truly a phoenix, but instead something created by a phoenix, they’d all be doomed. How she wished she could just grab and carry the two away, it would make it so much easier.

For now there were plenty of things she couldn’t change and, until she could, she’d focus on what she could. She veered away from the crowds and flew off, away from civilization. As massive as the crowd was she was certain she could find them again. If she wanted to be ready when the time came, she’d need to learn all she could about her capabilities. She could still do magic as a phoenix, but she needed to be able to do magic as a human again.

Eventually her eyes fell on a ravine filled with great boulders and far from the main city. She didn’t see any reason why the humans would have traveled here and it seemed isolated enough. If anything, the area seemed entirely dead and barren.

It looked oddly familiar, though she knew she’d never been here before. She flew down, landing in the middle of the ravine before looking around. She could feel magic moving along her glimmering feathers, crackling like lightning. Not harmful, but strange and tingling. Still, nothing here could possibly threaten her. Slowly, she began to shift her form once more.

H-hate this,” Yvette said softly to herself once she was herself again. Or at least the herself she had once wanted to be. As grateful as she was to have her true form no longer be a boy, she still felt like she was only halfway there. Eventually she would fix this and become who she truly wanted to be. For now, she truly loathed the fact whenever she transformed into herself she did it without any of her clothing. Huddling naked in a ravine while practicing magic was not an experience she wanted to repeat.

But for now, it was what she had to do. She held out her right hand and tried to focus her magic. It was there, she knew it was there. She could feel it, giving this form its, well, form. This was who she had once been, more or less. Performing magic should have been easy.

Yet, as always, it felt as if she was entirely locked off from her abilities. Her magic was already maintaining this form, it refused to allow her to do both at once. It was there, though. She wished she had a true master of transfiguration magic to teach her how, but she could figure this out eventually.

Yvette closed her eyes and held both her hands close together, struggling to make her magic come to the surface. Just a small, tiny spark. That was all. If she could just get that to happen, she could do this. “Come on,” Yvette whispered. “I know I’m powerful enough for this. Just do what I say. You’re my power, obey me.”

If there was one good thing about being a phoenix, at least she knew she was stronger than she had ever been. She could feel her magic under the surface, twisting and writhing within her. Like the very storm itself, thrashing wildly and waiting to--

Her eyes opened and she looked around. “W-what? Who’s there?” she asked, but received no answer. Wait, what? Why did she even say that? She didn’t hear anybody.

But she had. It took her a moment to realize she had heard something calling to her. Or rather, the phoenix side of her had. The mage side hadn’t felt anything. But the phoenix side of her said something was calling to her. Yvette took a slow, deep breath before closing her eyes again. “Whoever you are, if you’re there, I’m not what you’re looking for. Trust me. I’m just a phoenix who’s trying to be a human. Or a human who is a phoenix. Or a… I don’t know. Both? Neither? I’m not even sure anymore. But I am not what you want. I’m Yvette. That is the only thing I can say with certainty that I am. Also, cold.”

As if called by her comment, it began to rain. She rolled her eyes and tried to tune it out, struggling to gather the small spark of magic between her fingers. It was such a simple use of magic, barely enough to make even the weakest of mages struggle. Yet it refused to obey her. If anything, it felt like her magic was resisting her more and more.

Maybe this was all a waste of time. Perhaps she’d never be capable of such magic when transformed. Just because other mages could do it didn’t mean she’d ever be capable. Plenty of mages who were considered masters of such magic couldn’t do such things, why would she be any different? Besides, she was a phoenix now. As much as he felt like she should be the mage, even this form felt oddly unnatural to her. Forced. A part of her wanted to shove it all aside and just give up.

But that wasn’t an option, no matter how desperately she wanted to. She needed to learn how to use her abilities if she wanted to get Gervas and Nautia out of here. More importantly, she’d never be able to protect them if the only way she could access her magic was when she was in the form of a massive shimmering bird.

Eventually, her time ran out and she felt her form beginning to revert back to her new true form. She considered recasting the spell, keeping herself as the phoenix. But no, she’d best catch up with them before she ended up falling too far behind. Especially now that it was raining. It was--

Lightning tore the sky and struck her, sending tingling sensations from the tip of her feathers to the ends of her talons. Not an altogether unpleasant feeling, but she was pretty sure if she had human ears still she would be deaf. As it was, she could feel power rippling through her, the electricity crackling off her feathers and turning the water around her to ice and steam. She felt the phoenix side of her rising once more and she didn’t resist it this time.

Yvette was once more the storm and she would enjoy it. The others could wait.

 

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